The solution is to somehow drive all the sharks in a small enclosure with one exit, move it to land, and light it on fire.

Jaws: mentioned. Venue fire: mentioned. thread: over

I'm more concerned about the average white shark.

jaylectricity: Actually that video and story is two days old. They closed the beaches on the east side of the peninsula yesterday.

It would make more sense to close the water and keep the beaches open. But hey, shark's gotta eat too.

They've spotted a shark, not necessarily the sharks. They must check the bite radius.

Behold, the face of danger!

/Wellllll, g'bye!

Just buy the big boat now.

daaaa da

Cool. I spent two great summers in Chatham. Ridgevale Inn for the winn.

JoeCamelToe: I'm more concerned about the average white shark.

Luckily I just swallowed my coffee or I'd be doing more than wiping the snot off my desk right now.

There is one stupid! Its called Jaws. Man Subtard is dumb!

Relax! Its only a giant dolphin with rabies!

They're in the yahd, not too fah, from the cah. How's that?

How come we don't have "great black" sharks, only "great whites?" Even the mulatto one is called a "killer" whale. Someone is keeping the black sharks down.

SushiJoe: we're gonna need a bigger biggah chowda

ftfy

FarmRaisedWinglessQuailtard: Relax! Its only a giant dolphin with rabies!

Relax, nothing! Dolphins are just gay sharks!

"Jaws" was a movie, made from a novel, containing approximately zero science. The presence of great whites does not increase the danger of going to the beach by any measurable amount. Real danger is skin cancer and drowning.

Three (3) fatal Great White attacks in U.S. since 2000

8,700 U.S. skin cancer deaths expected in 2010

And more than 3,000 drownings

ShillinTheVillain: They've spotted a shark, not necessarily the sharks. They must check the bite radius.

Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock.

//doesnt need that Kitner boy spilling out all over the docks.

what a Great White Shark in New England might look like:

Throw 'em a fattie or two. They'll leave in disgust.

That nothing, the kids are Karateing all the picket fences in town!

cryinoutloud: How come we don't have "great black" sharks, only "great whites?" Even the mulatto one is called a "killer" whale. Someone is keeping the black sharks down.

Oh shiat, now you've done gone and summoned Spike Lee's Favorite Farker.

We're doomed.

Candy-gram.

"Jaws on Fire" ^TM has no fear and is coming to a beach near you soon

godxam: ShillinTheVillain: They've spotted a shark, not necessarily the sharks. They must check the bite radius.

Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock.

Screw it. Let's go to Sea World.

/da-dum
//da-dum

beerrun: cryinoutloud: How come we don't have "great black" sharks, only "great whites?" Even the mulatto one is called a "killer" whale. Someone is keeping the black sharks down.

Oh shiat, now you've done gone and summoned Spike Lee's Favorite Farker Dro-in-the-wind.

We're doomed.

FTFY

jweber26: They're in the yahd, not too fah, from the cah. How's that?

Like you're from New York.

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte... just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first rabbit for about a half an hour. Lop-eared. 1-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the floppy ears to the tail. What we didn't know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, rabbit come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named "The Battle of Waterloo" and the idea was: rabbit comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the wabbit go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that bunny he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a rabbit... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many rabbits, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us... he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the rabbits took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

JohnCarter: "Jaws on Fire" TM has no fear and is coming to a beach near you soon

blogs.amctv.com

Oh snap!! Better luck in tomorrow's limbo contest, Mr. Shark.

That's some bad hat, Harry.

FTFA: "Local officials claim there is no danger from sharks, but do warn of a potential up-swing in 'boating accidents'."

mbillips: 8,700 U.S. skin cancer deaths expected in 2010

And more than 3,000 drownings

Ban the sun! And the sea too.

I'm needed again.

She is hungry for sharks

subby - If only there was a popular movie to illustrate what a bad decision this is

yeah because jaws is what happens when a shark comes near a beach...it's not completely over sensationalized or anything...lol

monoski: She is hungry for sharks

Don't they call that 'bread back' or something?

http://www.zadan.nl/excuseme/

mbillips: "Jaws" was a movie, made from a novel, containing approximately zero science. The presence of great whites does not increase the danger of going to the beach by any measurable amount. Real danger is skin cancer and drowning.

I bet you're a blast at parties.