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(NPR) Asinine NPR strikes to the heart of their target audience by exposing the dark world of people who use an alias at Starbucks   (npr.org) divider line 163
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13216 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jul 2010 at 10:22 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2010-07-29 10:06:49 PM
What kind of loser would use a pseudonym to interact with other people.
 
2010-07-29 10:19:03 PM
I would do this. But I wouldn't talk to NPR about it.

Pocket Ninja: What kind of loser would use a pseudonym to interact with other people.

Heh. I mean, no idea. Losers.
 
2010-07-29 10:20:29 PM
NORRIS: And Sheila stuck. You didn't try like, Betty or Amanda, or any other name?

Ms. KULKARNI: I tried once - I think - like Sue, or something a little bit more American - if that's appropriate. But I think -the thing is when I said Sue, the barista behind the counter was kind of skeptical, and so I just kind of - shout out Sheila, and it stuck.


To think a f*cking coffee jockey looking down their nose at somebody, incredulous to the idea that somebody might have a normal sounding name like, "Sue."

Oh wait...she actually isn't named that.
 
2010-07-29 10:22:34 PM
Pocket Ninja: What kind of loser would use a pseudonym to interact with other people.

Well, personally, I do something pretty similar when I'm at coffee shops or other situations. I've gone by my middle name conversationally ever since I was a child, and it's one of those middle names that people always spell wrong at first or assume is a different, similar sounding name.

My legal name is one of the incredibly common ones, so I use that whenever a stranger needs my name strictly for getting my attention in the near future and never again after that.
 
2010-07-29 10:24:01 PM
*coffee shops or other situations like them.
 
2010-07-29 10:28:02 PM
I was getting paid to listen to this (by choice) and about 2/3's of the way in there was the story of the office workers that would make the trip to Starbuckx once or three times a week. Every time they would have a different meme. The example that was in the story was Jerry, George, and Elaine. And they had a quote from someone saying "where's KRAMER?"

Anyway, I lol'd and I think this thread should be about what other "starbux" names and memes we (y'all) can come up with.
 
2010-07-29 10:28:04 PM
This is the douchiest thing I've heard of in at least 48 hours
 
2010-07-29 10:28:14 PM
Pocket Ninja: What kind of loser would use a pseudonym to interact with other people.

I have a friend named something very german. The morans working behind counters can't figure out what she is saying, so she uses Judy. That way they can understand her, and she can understand when her order is up.

Also works wonders at mexican places.
 
2010-07-29 10:28:19 PM
I use my real name in all social interactions.

Because in real life, I am still a tree.
 
2010-07-29 10:28:23 PM
the thing i liked best about the program was being discussed just before the starbucks alias thing. cockroaches getting ass cancer was riveting.
 
2010-07-29 10:30:09 PM
Wow... how.. Dull.

You'd almost think that this in depth reporting was actually trying to uncover something far more sinister. Seriously, why was this story actually printed?
 
2010-07-29 10:30:11 PM
Harry Freakstorm is actually the name I used when I ordered pizza. Long before Rusty Shakelford was around.
 
2010-07-29 10:30:14 PM
You must have a very normal name. If you do, you just wont understand. I have an usual name, and I just put up with the frustration of people not understanding my name the first time. It's worth it to me, it is pretty much my identity. I like the personality it gives off. Its usually a good enough talking point after the "hi, my name is" and sometimes even weeds out the ignorant rednecks so i dont have to interact with them. Otherwise, i'd never think of using a psuedonymn, outside of the internet of course.


Actually had a girl state "what kinda name is that??" To which i responded "its my name biatch. fark off". Ok... i was in a strip club, so she wasnt' hardly classy, but still!


/no i will not tell you my name, this is the internet, i know better.
 
2010-07-29 10:30:30 PM
I do something similar - whenever I am arrested I use my "felon name."

/They wouldn't believe my real name was MiamiBlues anyway.
 
2010-07-29 10:31:03 PM

Oh for the love of God, just pour me my ten dollar cup of coffee, you skank whore cashier, and don't forget it's four sugars in it!


I'm telling my boss that from now on, I want to be called by my Fark name, Senor Skinink.

 
2010-07-29 10:32:51 PM
And isn't Laquisha good enough to be a coffee name?
 
2010-07-29 10:33:28 PM
jaylectricity: NORRIS: And Sheila stuck. You didn't try like, Betty or Amanda, or any other name?

Ms. KULKARNI: I tried once - I think - like Sue, or something a little bit more American - if that's appropriate. But I think -the thing is when I said Sue, the barista behind the counter was kind of skeptical, and so I just kind of - shout out Sheila, and it stuck.

To think a f*cking coffee jockey looking down their nose at somebody, incredulous to the idea that somebody might have a normal sounding name like, "Sue."

Oh wait...she actually isn't named that.


thezaz.nationallampoon.com

My name is Sue! How do you do! Now you gonna die!
 
2010-07-29 10:33:29 PM
This is what happens when you allow skirts to try journalism.
 
2010-07-29 10:33:50 PM
Ah well, not being a coffee drinker has caused me to miss out on another of lifes little adventures, to think I will never know the thrill of giving a pseudonym to a coffee jock because my first name is hard to spell, oh wait my first name is Al so I guess I won't be missing much after all, never mind, carry on.

/mom should have named me john but spelled it Joquahn or something
 
2010-07-29 10:34:44 PM
www.iowasportsman.com

"Rusty Shackleford"
 
2010-07-29 10:35:01 PM
I like to give them weird names at Starbucks just to see their reactions.
Currently working through the Greek gods. The last girl had to ask me how to spell "Dionysus" twice, and then still got it wrong. I didn't mind, the god of wine and ecstasy is very forgiving.
 
2010-07-29 10:35:03 PM
IggyE: You must have a very normal name. If you do, you just wont understand. I have an usual name, and I just put up with the frustration of people not understanding my name the first time. It's worth it to me, it is pretty much my identity. I like the personality it gives off. Its usually a good enough talking point after the "hi, my name is" and sometimes even weeds out the ignorant rednecks so i dont have to interact with them. Otherwise, i'd never think of using a psuedonymn, outside of the internet of course.


Actually had a girl state "what kinda name is that??" To which i responded "its my name biatch. fark off". Ok... i was in a strip club, so she wasnt' hardly classy, but still!


/no i will not tell you my name, this is the internet, i know better.


It's funny. My first and last name are wicked common, I mean we're talking "Bob Green" or "John Smith" common. Really really common name.

So I started going by my middle name, which isn't uncommon, but it's not commonly used as a first name, and I get a lot of people who don't understand, or ask a second time, or whatever. and I kind of like it.
 
2010-07-29 10:35:45 PM
And the Boobies joke has already gone over two people's heads.
 
2010-07-29 10:36:09 PM
I have an extremely common first name for my generation. Every other girl I meet seems to have the same first name, spelled the same. So yes, I go by a nickname that no one else has everywhere just so there isn't any confusion amongst who is whom.

/hate having a common first name and a common middle name
 
2010-07-29 10:37:24 PM
theinstance.net

"Throatwobbler Mangrove"...

Uh, how do you spell that?

"L-u-x-u-r-y Y-a-c-h-t"...

GTFO of my Starbucks!
 
2010-07-29 10:38:06 PM
I had a friend who would give the name Donner at restaurants so the hostess would have to call for the Donner Party when the table was ready.
 
2010-07-29 10:38:22 PM
jaylectricity: And the Boobies joke has already gone over two people's heads.

I never make boobies jokes but I do love it when they are over my head
 
2010-07-29 10:39:02 PM
They call me Baba Booey.
 
2010-07-29 10:39:23 PM
Raiden333: Pocket Ninja: What kind of loser would use a pseudonym to interact with other people.

Well, personally, I do something pretty similar when I'm at coffee shops or other situations. I've gone by my middle name conversationally ever since I was a child, and it's one of those middle names that people always spell wrong at first or assume is a different, similar sounding name.

My legal name is one of the incredibly common ones, so I use that whenever a stranger needs my name strictly for getting my attention in the near future and never again after that.


*Whoosh*
 
2010-07-29 10:39:46 PM
jaylectricity: And the Boobies joke has already gone over two people's heads.

To be fair, Pocket Ninja's boobies are very subtle, one must really pay attention to see them sometimes.
Wait, did I say subtle? I meant supple.
 
2010-07-29 10:41:04 PM
Pocket Ninja: What kind of loser would use a pseudonym to interact with other people.


I know, right? I always give my real name to the coffee chick. But they always give me weird looks when they call out "Satanic_Hamster's order is up." And I can't tell you how often one of the biatches doesn't pronounce the _ right.
 
2010-07-29 10:41:42 PM
Pocket Ninja: What kind of loser would use a pseudonym to interact with other people.

boy people just don't get subtlety.
 
2010-07-29 10:41:44 PM
My name is Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla.
 
2010-07-29 10:43:21 PM
I do this a restaurants. "Burdell, party of 2"

-George P Burdell
 
2010-07-29 10:43:59 PM
You know what's weird? I also use a fake name if it has to be called out somewhere (because I have kind of an odd name), and I spend a lot of time worrying about whether I "look" like that person. Because they could catch me or something......
 
2010-07-29 10:44:38 PM
Is it worse to have an obscure/unusual name or a really common one?

/real name is "Steve"
//so many Steves...
 
2010-07-29 10:45:15 PM
I knew a guy who used to say he was "King" at Starbucks, because being called "King" and having "King" written on his Coffey made him feel cool.
 
2010-07-29 10:45:22 PM
Pocket Ninja: What kind of loser would use a pseudonym to interact with other people.

I chuckled.
 
2010-07-29 10:45:42 PM
javery: Raiden333: Pocket Ninja: What kind of loser would use a pseudonym to interact with other people.

Well, personally, I do something pretty similar when I'm at coffee shops or other situations. I've gone by my middle name conversationally ever since I was a child, and it's one of those middle names that people always spell wrong at first or assume is a different, similar sounding name.

My legal name is one of the incredibly common ones, so I use that whenever a stranger needs my name strictly for getting my attention in the near future and never again after that.

*Whoosh*


Yeah, I did totally miss that the first time, haha.

Then again I spend so much time online I don't even think of my usernames as pseudonyms anymore.
 
2010-07-29 10:46:04 PM
I like to use Sir Hardin Thick.
 
2010-07-29 10:46:24 PM
I simply use my Fark handle at restaurants.

-- Frank Fingerman
 
2010-07-29 10:47:08 PM
Dr. Nick Riviera: This is what happens when you allow skirts baristas to try journalism.

FTFY
 
2010-07-29 10:47:15 PM
I tried using my Fark handle at Starbucks once. I wound up with nine cups of coffee.

/Haven't slept in a week.
 
2010-07-29 10:47:42 PM
Foaming: I had a friend who would give the name Donner at restaurants so the hostess would have to call for the Donner Party when the table was ready.

Little pieces of pure gold like this are the reason I keep reading the comments on Fark.

Love you guys!!
 
2010-07-29 10:48:15 PM
When I try and leave my name (Aaron), I often get asked how I spell it. "I prefer the masculine spelling, but I don't have to read it, just hear it. Spell it however you want."

There are four main ways to spell it: Aaron (masculine), Erin (feminine), Aron (Elvisine), and Éireann (the Irish word for Ireland). All are pronounced the same. Side note: Erin is not a known girl's-name in Ireland. It's just another American made-up feminization of a common (Jewish) boy's-name. Also: people in Ireland would ask me how my name was pronounced! (I'd just say 'like Ireland in Irish.')

There, I wrote a post as vapid as the NPR piece in the link. Yay!
 
2010-07-29 10:49:24 PM
Foaming: I had a friend who would give the name Donner at restaurants so the hostess would have to call for the Donner Party when the table was ready.

Heh. "Donner, party of 6! I mean, Donner, party of 5...er, 4..."
 
2010-07-29 10:50:54 PM
My real-life name is Ima Nasshoal.

-- Heywould J. Bloameee
 
2010-07-29 10:54:59 PM
In the "complaints" section of NPR today, one guy wrote in "It's not news, it's nothing!" ... or Fark. I wonder if that was sent in by anyone we know; an author perhaps?
 
2010-07-29 10:55:15 PM
I once gave the name Lord of the Ninjas for my order at a KFC back when I was in high school. The person behind the counter was too embarrassed to call out my "name" so he did not. The delay in getting me my food netted me 5 free biscuits. A feat I have been unable to replicate.

/Biscuit story bro.
 
2010-07-29 10:56:09 PM
my name is Inigo Montoya, you burned my coffee, prepare to die.
 
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