/only read first line

i bet they were cashing her SS checks too.

I read fark for the pics: kbronsito: i bet they were cashing her SS checks too.

FTFA:

Authorities said the relatives were the woman's main caretakers. Karen Cabral reportedly told police the family used the victim's monthly $1,100 Social Security check to pay house bills and used the leftover money to take care of her needs.

i didn't "click here" to continue reading.

There's no excuse for such behavior, especially in a situation where there are multiple family members able to help living right on the premises.

I'm the sole caregiver/care tender for my elderly Mom. It is not an easy thing. She's unable to walk due to an injured leg, she has COPD and requires an oxygen machine at night, has mild Alzheimer's, diabetes, had a mini-stroke, loss of memory, needs to wear adult diapers, is hard of hearing and has depression.

At her worst, I spent about a year getting maybe 5 hours sleep a night, having to check on her a lot, especially when she was out of her head and hallucinating. I'm a bipolar depressive and on disability so you can imagine what this did for my own personal condition.

I've rigged her with a personal pager and it's got a range of about 100 feet so she can buzz me when she needs me, but even now, with her better, I do the majority of everything.

I have two brothers and a sister. Only one brother helps out when I directly asked. He has an 18 yr old daughter who no longer will visit my Mother, even though my Mom dearly loves seeing her.

My sister doesn't communicate with me or my Mom and my other brother, retired, is traveling the US in a $70,000 motorhome with his wife, having just bought a home in Georgia. He calls, sends her post cards, letters and has given her some money.

His suggestion when I told him her home needs repairs she can't afford was to sell the house she's lived in for 50 years and buy a condo.

The care can be vastly time consuming, often somewhat disgusting, (like helping her take a bath or dumping her diaper pail, changing her bed when she pees in it, keeping an eye on any bruise or bump she gets due to her fragile skin) and pretty well has wiped out any form of social life I might have had.

However, it has to be done. After all, she's my Mom.

I live there in one part of the house. I've upped my own rent a couple of times as her finances grew tight thanks to the economy and the government deciding that Social Security recipients do not need the usual COL raise since there is no increase in COL. (HA!)

For a time, we were nearly on first name basis with the hospital ER staff and they nearly had a room on reserve for her on the floors.

I called the local elder care for assistance and found none for folks in her shape but some that I might have to pay for out of our diminishing family finances. I have scoured the Internet for elder grants and assistance to find that all of these ads on TV are basically a big f**king joke, usually offered by folks wanting to charge you for services you might be able to find for free in that awful, complex, confusing and hard to navigate Government website.

Other family members suddenly crop up with a host of problems when I start thinking of getting their help for things I can't do. (I've not been able to get anyone to take her out to lunch, for a drive or shopping for years now.)

My aunt lives in an assisted living facility, which one of my brothers oversees (the one somewhere in the northeastern US) but he's able to do it by phone and mail.

I take my Mom to visit her, plus during holidays and family events, I usually go and pick her up and bring her to them. She's unable to walk. Weighs in at about 275 lbs and is senile. Recently, I had to tell one brother to take her home after such gatherings, since I was both bringing her to them and transporting her back afterwards.

I'm 58. This is a BIG THING. It consumes most of my time, meaning even if I wanted to get away for a few days, I couldn't since no one can stay with her -- and I can't afford a professional sitter nor, these days, would I trust one.

This is a common thing that happens to folks like me who care for an infirm parent, especially those with siblings.

However, there's no f**king way I'd let her be neglected to the point of possible death. I got her a wheelchair, a walker and later, made the arrangements to get her a scooter -- which because our home was built unfriendly to the handicapped, she tends to use to bash holes in the walls. (There are reportedly government grants for home repair and improvement for the elderly, but I've not found any yet. I have found tons and tons of minority educational grants.)

Luckily, she has good insurance, though the co-pay on her many medications has become ridiculous.

While all of this is hard, I would not let her sit in a chair and fester, slowly dying and the very concept of doing so is hard for me to even consider.

I will not place her in a nursing home either, since not only would they promptly take all of her funds, plus her Social Security, but the house and she hates nursing homes, which means she'd go completely crazy and shortly after, die.

I don't want that to happen.

She was there for me in my hard times, as well as for every member of the family, and I'll be there for hers.

The folks in the article need to be taken out and shot. Social Security will pay for a limited amount of in-house care as needed. I know. I've had agencies here from time to time with a doctors prescription and they've been a blessing!

Currently my Mom is watching TV, now able to get up and use the scooter to take minimal care of herself. Her memory is bad, but she no longer acts crazy. I'll fix her meals since she can't use the kitchen anymore and now, after 5 years, I'll not need to check on her constantly. She'll use her pager if she needs me.

Then I'll take care of the house, do the dishes, the laundry, feed the pets and worry about the lawn and outside repairs since I can't tolerate the intense Florida summer heat anymore. The grass is about knee high and I have to cut it but after about 15 minutes in the heat, I start feeling bad.

My family has problems of their own to contend with so they can't help me out with these home oriented chores.

Then, I'll go over the bills and pound my head against my desk at the ever increasing amounts.

Still, she's 83. When she dies, it will be preferably in her own home and she will be loved. Hopefully, that will not happen for a long time.

It's the least I can do.

Rik01: Horrible story

Wow, that is basically word for word what my family is going through with two elderly relatives. Kudos to you for caring for her, I know how difficult it is.

KnowEyeInnTeem

The Standard-Times web site, southcoasttoday, gets all obnoxious if you don't have javascript enabled. So choose between the short version on the Herald that everybody can read and the long original version that not everybody can read.