If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Parenting)   Parenting shows us the most frivolous and rage-inducing baby products. Come for the slideshow, stay for the placenta teddy bear   (parenting.com) divider line 168
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

15598 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jul 2010 at 6:19 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



168 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2010-07-27 03:21:32 PM
I could use the tinkle tube and some potty mitts, and I'm 36 years old.

/I already have the plush pee and poo.
 
2010-07-27 03:28:15 PM
$150 for 65 crayons? Holy shiat.
 
2010-07-27 03:31:43 PM
They're all pretty laughable, except maybe the toddler harness & leash. Better than having them run away from you & get lost or squished. Kids that age can be quick! (seriously!)
 
2010-07-27 04:44:49 PM
Debby7813: They're all pretty laughable, except maybe the toddler harness & leash. Better than having them run away from you & get lost or squished. Kids that age can be quick! (seriously!)

Agreed. My son is three and a half and he's damn fast. I bought one of these recently for him so my ex, who has a 9-month old as well, can push the younger one in his stroller and still control my son
 
2010-07-27 04:45:49 PM
My youngest could have used the helmut when he was 2-5 years old.

He's got a ridiculously high pain tolerance.
 
2010-07-27 04:55:57 PM
I think I've found my Secret Santa gift. One of you is getting some plushies.
 
2010-07-27 05:56:25 PM
Gwendolyn: I think I've found my Secret Santa gift. One of you is getting some plushies.

To hell with that...

I got two friends giving birth soon...

The placenta bear it is!
 
2010-07-27 05:59:50 PM
I really have to wonder how my parents managed to keep me safe and alive without tying me to their wrists. I was a really adventurous little tot (apparently) and got them kicked out of a few restaurants for being so bold with other customers. They dealt with it.
 
2010-07-27 06:20:44 PM
This was really creepy when it first appeared here a year or so ago.
 
2010-07-27 06:21:28 PM
personalmoneystore.com
 
2010-07-27 06:21:39 PM
.

If anyone here has bought any of those, with the possible exception of the leash thing if you have a sprinter toddler and/or are going to a very crowded theme park on vacation soon, I hate you.
 
2010-07-27 06:22:50 PM
WTF

www2.worldpub.net
 
2010-07-27 06:24:18 PM
Debby7813: They're all pretty laughable, except maybe the toddler harness & leash. Better than having them run away from you & get lost or squished. Kids that age can be quick! (seriously!)

You sound... well, you know how you sound.
 
2010-07-27 06:24:36 PM
I should point out the designer hospital gowns are for AFTER you've given birth and you are required to stay for several more days and everyone is snapping pictures of you and the little one. (Though at that point, you're just happy if you've taken a shower before the family starts whipping out cameras.)
 
2010-07-27 06:25:33 PM
vernonFL: I could use the tinkle tube and some potty mitts, and I'm 36 years old.

/I already have the plush pee and poo.


TMI.
 
2010-07-27 06:25:50 PM
Jesus. F--king. Christ.

Subby, this thing is going to haunt my dreams, and I am not exaggerating.

www2.worldpub.net

What's more cuddly than a placenta? Not only must you cut, cure and emulsify the organ, you have to actually sew it into the teddy bear using this kit.

/shudder
 
2010-07-27 06:26:15 PM
www2.worldpub.net

Why wasn't there a "Her 1st G-String"??
 
2010-07-27 06:26:59 PM
StreetlightInTheGhetto: Jesus. F--king. Christ.

Subby, this thing is going to haunt my dreams, and I am not exaggerating.



What's more cuddly than a placenta? Not only must you cut, cure and emulsify the organ, you have to actually sew it into the teddy bear using this kit.

/shudder


It puts the lotion on it's skin...
 
Byn
2010-07-27 06:27:08 PM
The potty mitts made me feel all stabby. Seriously? You need to put mitts on your kid so that he/she/it can sit on the f*cking toilet?

Goddamn. I'm going back to school for my psychology degree, as I'm sure I'll make a mint off of these warped little snowflakes in the future.
 
2010-07-27 06:27:16 PM
Johnny Space Commander Mask

/I see you UH
 
2010-07-27 06:28:15 PM
I actually thought the stroller mitt thing was pretty neat, but then I live in Alaska.
 
2010-07-27 06:28:28 PM
ecx.images-amazon.com

Um, Farkers, I just noticed that there are no reviews for this Daddy Saddle on Amazon yet.

Just saying.

/also, facepalm
 
2010-07-27 06:28:57 PM
Byn: The potty mitts made me feel all stabby. Seriously? You need to put mitts on your kid so that he/she/it can sit on the f*cking toilet?

Goddamn. I'm going back to school for my psychology degree, as I'm sure I'll make a mint off of these warped little snowflakes in the future.


Parents who buy those will raise little girls unable to insert a tampon.
 
2010-07-27 06:29:58 PM
StreetlightInTheGhetto: Um, Farkers, I just noticed that there are no reviews for this Daddy Saddle on Amazon yet.

Just saying.

/also, facepalm


That is so cool!!
 
2010-07-27 06:31:00 PM
ArkAngel: Debby7813: They're all pretty laughable, except maybe the toddler harness & leash. Better than having them run away from you & get lost or squished. Kids that age can be quick! (seriously!)

Agreed. My son is three and a half and he's damn fast. I bought one of these recently for him so my ex, who has a 9-month old as well, can push the younger one in his stroller and still control my son


Anyone who's spent 5 minutes with my 2 year old understands that she requires one of these on occasion. I see other parents with placid children that calmly follow beside them in the store or nicely sit in the wagon while being pulled and think, "My kid would never do that." She'd jump out and run away after about 5 seconds, possibly after shouting "Whoohoo!" and pumping her fists in the air.

My husband tried to jump in the harbour when he was 3. When he was 5, they had to keep someone outside the classroom door to prevent him from running away. He used to jump from rooftop to rooftop for fun. On one hand, hyper kids stay in shape, on the other hand they tend to break themselves in the process.
 
2010-07-27 06:31:22 PM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: That is so cool arousing!!
 
2010-07-27 06:31:55 PM
LaraAmber: I should point out the designer hospital gowns are for AFTER you've given birth and you are required to stay for several more days and everyone is snapping pictures of you and the little one. (Though at that point, you're just happy if you've taken a shower before the family starts whipping out cameras.)

My MO was to look as ugly as possible so nobody would want to take pictures of me. They would then divert to the other popular hospital activity, holding the baby. And then I could sleep. It was awesome.

/until the baby needed food
//or the nurse wanted vitals
///or my soul-sucking sister in law felt the need to tell me something that could have easily waited until I woke up
////or a field crew wanted to say hi
//holy slashies, having a newborn sucked!
 
M-G
2010-07-27 06:32:00 PM
LaraAmber: Parents who buy those will raise little girls unable to insert a tampon.

Much less give oral....
 
2010-07-27 06:32:00 PM
We use one of those harness things with our 3 year old when we go fishing. Water + toddler with undeveloped sense of cause and effect = trouble.

And for those people who say "well they never needed harnesses in the old days" - BS. My dad tells me stories of how he used to be tied to his bed because he was so hyper. My father in law tells a story of getting so fed up with his 4 yr old on a camping trip that he drove to the nearest hardware store for some rope. When the guy asked him what he needed the rope for, he replied "for tying a 4 year old to a tree" . . and the shopkeeper promptly picked out the right rope for the task.
 
2010-07-27 06:32:54 PM
Debby7813: They're all pretty laughable, except maybe the toddler harness & leash

www.explosm.net
 
2010-07-27 06:33:34 PM
Sweet Jesus! A cure-it and sew-it-yourself placenta teddy bear kit? Does anyone else think that damned thing looks like something thrown together by Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs? Or maybe a human skin lampshade from Birkenau?

Oh Holy shiat! I'm gonna have nightmares over that! Yuck!
 
2010-07-27 06:34:00 PM
Ok, I broke down and used the harness, but still made him hold our hands when out. It was mostly an extra safety thing so he couldn't book it away thinking it was the greatest game in the world.

We didn't need it with our second.

I still felt ridiculous. My kid didn't really care though.
 
2010-07-27 06:34:47 PM
FunkOut: ArkAngel: Debby7813: They're all pretty laughable, except maybe the toddler harness & leash. Better than having them run away from you & get lost or squished. Kids that age can be quick! (seriously!)

Agreed. My son is three and a half and he's damn fast. I bought one of these recently for him so my ex, who has a 9-month old as well, can push the younger one in his stroller and still control my son

Anyone who's spent 5 minutes with my 2 year old understands that she requires one of these on occasion. I see other parents with placid children that calmly follow beside them in the store or nicely sit in the wagon while being pulled and think, "My kid would never do that." She'd jump out and run away after about 5 seconds, possibly after shouting "Whoohoo!" and pumping her fists in the air.

My husband tried to jump in the harbour when he was 3. When he was 5, they had to keep someone outside the classroom door to prevent him from running away. He used to jump from rooftop to rooftop for fun. On one hand, hyper kids stay in shape, on the other hand they tend to break themselves in the process.


My mom had one for my brother, who was a sprinter (and a hider-in-the-clothing-racks). He got his share of spankings, but the kid seriously could not be trusted in a store or parking lot.

(She probably should have had him in one of those cute helmets until he was...30 or so).
 
2010-07-27 06:36:04 PM
StreetlightInTheGhetto: Um, Farkers, I just noticed that there are no reviews for this Daddy Saddle on Amazon yet.

Just saying.

/also, facepalm


Check again.
 
2010-07-27 06:36:24 PM
StreetlightInTheGhetto: Jesus. F--king. Christ.

Subby, this thing is going to haunt my dreams, and I am not exaggerating.



What's more cuddly than a placenta? Not only must you cut, cure and emulsify the organ, you have to actually sew it into the teddy bear using this kit.

/shudder


I'd fark me.
 
2010-07-27 06:36:58 PM
brewthunda: We use one of those harness things with our 3 year old when we go fishing. Water + toddler with undeveloped sense of cause and effect = trouble.

And for those people who say "well they never needed harnesses in the old days" - BS. My dad tells me stories of how he used to be tied to his bed because he was so hyper. My father in law tells a story of getting so fed up with his 4 yr old on a camping trip that he drove to the nearest hardware store for some rope. When the guy asked him what he needed the rope for, he replied "for tying a 4 year old to a tree" . . and the shopkeeper promptly picked out the right rope for the task.


You seem like a discerning gentlemen with impeccable taste, am I right? Then may I interest you in one of our Deluxe Toddler Play Areastm?
 
2010-07-27 06:37:34 PM
www.uk-dog-cages.com
 
2010-07-27 06:37:43 PM
Makermook: Sweet Jesus! A cure-it and sew-it-yourself placenta teddy bear kit? Does anyone else think that damned thing looks like something thrown together by Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs? Or maybe a human skin lampshade from Birkenau?

Oh Holy shiat! I'm gonna have nightmares over that! Yuck!


I know someone that would probably do it, if she wasn't busy processing a new mother's placenta into pill form for said new mother's supplements to "avoid postpartum depression".
 
2010-07-27 06:37:44 PM
Makermook: Sweet Jesus! A cure-it and sew-it-yourself placenta teddy bear kit? Does anyone else think that damned thing looks like something thrown together by Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs? Or maybe a human skin lampshade from Birkenau?

Oh Holy shiat! I'm gonna have nightmares over that! Yuck!


I though it looked more like a rawhide chewtoy for a dog, or maybe the latest appetizer at Chili's.

/kinda redundant there
 
2010-07-27 06:38:59 PM
Nabb1: $150 for 65 crayons? Holy shiat.

But...they're in a basket! How kitsch!
 
2010-07-27 06:39:55 PM
JesseL: Makermook: Sweet Jesus! A cure-it and sew-it-yourself placenta teddy bear kit? Does anyone else think that damned thing looks like something thrown together by Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs? Or maybe a human skin lampshade from Birkenau?

Oh Holy shiat! I'm gonna have nightmares over that! Yuck!

I though it looked more like a rawhide chewtoy for a dog, or maybe the latest appetizer at Chili's.

/kinda redundant there


Imagine if the dog got a hold of that precious memento...
 
2010-07-27 06:40:36 PM
meat0918: Makermook: Sweet Jesus! A cure-it and sew-it-yourself placenta teddy bear kit? Does anyone else think that damned thing looks like something thrown together by Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs? Or maybe a human skin lampshade from Birkenau?

Oh Holy shiat! I'm gonna have nightmares over that! Yuck!

I know someone that would probably do it, if she wasn't busy processing a new mother's placenta into pill form for said new mother's supplements to "avoid postpartum depression".


At least she's doing the pill thing. I know people that just freeze it in "thumb-size pieces" (no shiat, there are directions on how to do this...) and eat it raw a few times a day.

I mean, good on them for recycling and all...and I'm a pretty crunchy parent, but that's just not my idea of a yummy 2am snack.

"Oh, honey, I'm going to sit down, nurse the baby, read a book...would you bring me some mint tea, half a muffin and a few pieces of thawed placenta? Thanks."
 
2010-07-27 06:41:58 PM
granolasteak:
I mean, good on them for recycling and all...and I'm a pretty crunchy parent, but that's just not my idea of a yummy 2am snack.

"Oh, honey, I'm going to sit down, nurse the baby, read a book...would you bring me some mint tea, half a muffin and a few pieces of thawed placenta? Thanks."


Now someone will start making placenta muffins.
 
2010-07-27 06:42:34 PM
For all the parents who put "the kid" (I imagine that's how you refer to your children) on leashes, do you at least give them cool looking collars to go with it?
 
2010-07-27 06:43:11 PM
LaraAmber: granolasteak:
I mean, good on them for recycling and all...and I'm a pretty crunchy parent, but that's just not my idea of a yummy 2am snack.

"Oh, honey, I'm going to sit down, nurse the baby, read a book...would you bring me some mint tea, half a muffin and a few pieces of thawed placenta? Thanks."

Now someone will start making placenta muffins.


That's a great sweetheart term..."Oh, my little placenta muffin! Guess who's home early from the office!"
 
2010-07-27 06:43:47 PM
www2.worldpub.net

The only way this would work is if it shocked the kid if he tried to get up too early..
 
2010-07-27 06:44:22 PM
Jesus christ that placenta teddy looks like something from Silent Hill. I figured it would be a plush.
 
2010-07-27 06:44:27 PM
Pawn takes the King: The only way this would work is if it shocked the kid if he tried to get up too early..

BRB, off to USPTO for filing.
 
2010-07-27 06:44:53 PM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: For all the parents who put "the kid" (I imagine that's how you refer to your children) on leashes, do you at least give them cool looking collars to go with it?

Well, it took a while for someone to get all angry about the issue.

FWIW, I know a few autistic kids who really benefit from the sensation the backpack leashes give them.
 
2010-07-27 06:45:39 PM
The_Six_Fingered_Man: StreetlightInTheGhetto: Um, Farkers, I just noticed that there are no reviews for this Daddy Saddle on Amazon yet.

Just saying.

/also, facepalm

Check again.


well done sir!
 
Displayed 50 of 168 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report