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A few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/18 - 7/24
Posted by Drew at 2010-07-27 9:28:02 AM (17 comments) | Permalink
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3663 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jul 2010 at 11:21 PM | | share: more»
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No posting this week; enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-07-18 to Sat 2010-07-24:
Food bank mistakenly gives out dog food to seniors, leaving them outraged but alert and frisky
Man falls from mast of 19th century ship, hits head, dies. Rigger, please
"Nobody wants to see the McDonald's-ization of cannabis," says a guy who clearly hasn't thought through the obvious synergies between McDonald's and weed
Mysterious bulge leads airport authorities to search man and find three pairs of titis
Sailing man strip off trunks to wave for help. Rescuers arrive soon after they spot his dinghy
Pistil wielding man robs bank
China denies that it has surpassed the United States as the world's top energy consumer, claiming that the data is tainted. Presumably with lead, chromium, melamine, sulfur, etc
Boy fascinated with fish drowns in garden pond. Act of Cod suspected
Oklahoma McDonalds restaurant robbed by a woman wearing men's underwear on her head. Cops in hot pursuit of the vehicle after getting a good look at the skid marks
Tropical Storm Bonnie moving toward oil spill, could bring a total eclipse of the coast
Texans wonder if they executed an innocent man. They don't actually care, they're just wondering
ESPN plans to devote more than 30 hours of primetime to 2010 World Series of Poker as major sports event, promises it won't cut into any of their planned Brett Favre or LeBron James coverage
Lou Piniella retiring as Cubs' manager. Well, he actually retired in 2008, but he'll stop getting paid by the Cubs after this season
Nick Saban has "no respect" for agents that use players for their own benefit, calls them "pimps". Presumably he then took an entire breath before calling a recruit from his million dollar house, promising him an NFL career
Symbian inserts open-source tool, paves way for wave after wave of multiple apps
Australian government censors plans to require ISPs to store "ce█tain intern█t act█vit█es of all Au█trali█ns". Wow, they must be sensitive ██coonts
Gene may determine bullying response - especially if Gene is much bigger than you and has friends
Cast of "Jersey Shore" goes on strike. There's probably not enough hair gel, silicone, Affliction t-shirts, body spray and Valtrex in the world to pay them adequately
Robert Pattinson says Kristen Stewart makes him uncomfortable, like when she tries to kiss him or touch him in any way
MTV is now cited as the network with the most gay characters. In a close race, narrowly missing the honor this year was C-SPAN
Mitt's got 100 problems
Rod Blagojevich's lawyers take a gamble by not putting him on the stand. If this doesn't pan out there will be hell toupee
Sen. John Kerry (R-MA) avoids paying $437,500 in sales tax and an annual excise tax of about $70,000 by mooring his yacht in Newport, RI. Must be a swift boat
Whitney Houston spends over $6,000 a week on cocaine, over $325,000 a year, and she could be dead in a year according to worried friends and an even more worried coke dealer
Sagging sales, boobs, may be spelling the end of Lilith Fair
Ron Jeremy in a heavy metal band. How about Nine.75 Inch Nails?
Wal Mart recalls chicken nuggets due to contamination, possibly from real chicken
Existing home sales fall 5.1 percent; imaginary homes sales flat
80% of bank bonuses weren't merited. Apparently they haven't checked into the other 20% yet
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