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(The New York Times)   Then they came for the Canada geese, and that was okay because they're rats with feathers who shiat all over everything and cause plane crashes and the only people who like them are dipshiat city folk who feed them donuts   (nytimes.com ) divider line
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4690 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2010 at 10:50 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



93 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2010-07-24 08:49:11 AM  
Spread a rumor on the street that Canadian geese meat gets you high. You'll never see one within 50 miles of a city again.
 
2010-07-24 08:51:24 AM  
The document contained specifics of goose removal in the New York area: "The captured geese are placed alive in commercial turkey crates. The geese would be brought to a secure location and euthanized with methods approved by the American Veterinary Medical Association. Euthanized geese would be buried."

Do they get a funeral procession too?

Christ. Shoot the things and feed them to the unemployed/homeless or something.
 
2010-07-24 09:20:09 AM  
www.seahorselabs.com

Those geese are cooked, cooked, cooked.
 
2010-07-24 10:23:51 AM  
Kill them all. I don't care who sorts them out.
 
2010-07-24 10:53:49 AM  
Plus, they take jobs from American geese.
 
2010-07-24 10:54:30 AM  
Pigeons are rats with feathers. Geese are more like raccoons with feathers.
 
2010-07-24 10:54:50 AM  
The correct term is: "Honking shiat-bags".
 
2010-07-24 10:55:08 AM  
At a college campus near me, you have to literally watch where you step. The side walks might as well be made out off goose shiat.
 
2010-07-24 10:55:16 AM  
Good
 
2010-07-24 10:55:40 AM  
Wow, I'm getting to use this a lot.

img39.imageshack.us
 
2010-07-24 10:57:40 AM  
Wait until they find out killing Geese lets the Swans in. Evil, less delicious swans.

/farking swans
 
2010-07-24 10:58:38 AM  
We seem to have so many geese in NOVA. I hate them. They like to hiss. They are ornery and mean.

Where I come from, we shoot geese and eat them. They are delicious. Out here, people are just interested in feeding the geese bread until they are too fat to do anything but waddle about.
 
2010-07-24 11:00:21 AM  
Place little slivers of garlic in the breast meat. Season meat with salt, pepper and Tony Chachere's seasoning. Brown in black skillet on all sides, remove meat, make a dark roux, put meat back in pot, add water and let simmer till liquid reduces to gravy. Make pot of rice and it don't get any better than that.
 
2010-07-24 11:02:00 AM  
i125.photobucket.com

Does NOT approve.
 
2010-07-24 11:02:55 AM  
Kill em all, let Canada sort them out.
 
2010-07-24 11:03:48 AM  
I think it's hilarious when people refer to them as "Canadian Geese".

It's "Canada Geese" and "Canada Goose", it's just their name, not their citizenship.
 
2010-07-24 11:04:48 AM  
www.jaxonsgottagun.com

Here is the solution I contribute every fall.
 
2010-07-24 11:05:40 AM  
I do not understand why they are protected.

There are WAY too many of those bastards. AND they are mean.

If they were good to eat we would have a decent solution to the problem of feeding people at shelters. Except you need big ovens.

Stupid, mean birds.
 
2010-07-24 11:06:43 AM  
"Euthanized geese would be buried"

What an utter waste.

If the market for wild goose isn't big enough in the States, clean them and export them to Europe and China.
People eat a lot of geese in those countries.
 
2010-07-24 11:07:08 AM  
"New York is leading the way," he said, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the press. Plans for other areas, he said, "do not include all the scientific background."

So, not authorized to speak to the press, but apparently leadership means trudging along before any background information is sought.

Looks about right.

I agree with the above. You want a way to stock your soup kitchens or provide food to homeless shelters? Blammo. Literally.
 
2010-07-24 11:07:43 AM  
"The captured geese are placed alive in commercial turkey crates. The geese would be brought to a secure location and euthanized with methods approved by the American Veterinary Medical Association. Euthanized geese would be buried."

The damn things are edible. Homeless shelters need to be eating goose like rich Europeans used to. For gods sake, don't waste food.
 
2010-07-24 11:07:57 AM  

Albertan: "Euthanized geese would be buried"

What an utter waste.

If the market for wild goose isn't big enough in the States, clean them and export them to Europe and China.
People eat a lot of geese in those countries.


Why bother? Being a government iniative, there's no way it would make money anyway.
 
2010-07-24 11:09:28 AM  

Rozinante: Pigeons are rats with feathers. Geese are more like raccoons with feathers.


This.
 
2010-07-24 11:11:04 AM  

MoronLessOff: At a college campus near me, you have to literally watch where you step. The side walks might as well be made out off goose shiat.


Cedarville?

/Went there for a year, was basically the situation there
//Farking geese
 
2010-07-24 11:11:19 AM  
Damn those dipshiat city folk with their cement ponds and their complicated shoes!
 
2010-07-24 11:14:08 AM  
Feeding the geese to the homeless opens them up to all sorts of legal problems. They would have to test all the geese for medical problems and in the end who knows how much it would wind up costing? Plus the first person to get sick and die after eating the meat would lead to a shiatstorm.
 
2010-07-24 11:15:12 AM  
We're euthanizing them and then burying the remains?

How much is this going to cost again?

Seems like a gun, a few bullets and some roasting pans could take care of this whole issue.

How dumb have we gotten?

/Oh wait, I forgot PETA
 
2010-07-24 11:17:00 AM  
Subby, umad?
 
2010-07-24 11:17:19 AM  

Remote Kittens: Feeding the geese to the homeless opens them up to all sorts of legal problems. They would have to test all the geese for medical problems and in the end who knows how much it would wind up costing? Plus the first person to get sick and die after eating the meat would lead to a shiatstorm.


And this problem is too difficult to overcome? If my options were to be offered a "free-range" goose, or die of starvation, I'd be happy to have the choice.
 
2010-07-24 11:17:35 AM  
In years ahead, however, the state could ask the federal government to extend hunting seasons or increase the number of geese that hunters may shoot.

Too expensive.
 
2010-07-24 11:17:46 AM  
I let my Cairn Terrier out this morning and there were about 40 of these things in my yard and my neighbors yard. The dog didn't really care until one Canadian got spooked and flew off, then the rest of them flew off, and then the dog went nuts...
 
2010-07-24 11:18:35 AM  
They should just shoot them and sell the meat, really.

If you want to see where the geese actually hang out in large numbers, try Lincoln Harbor (near the exit of the Lincoln tunnel on the Jersey side). There's a little park there, and it's constantly covered in chalky grey goose poo.
 
2010-07-24 11:19:39 AM  
dipshiat city folk who feed them

Ahhh...HATE. Nothing farks up a nice lunch or moment in a park like some dipshiat nearby throwing food for the birds who then flock by the hundreds.

One time I was eating in Nathan Philips Square (lunch trucks have burgers and fires and stuff nearby) and some toolbag ate his burger and tossed the full serving of fries onto the ground right beside me. I wanted to stuff him head first into a garbage can to show him where garbage is supposed to go rather than feed vermin.
 
2010-07-24 11:20:01 AM  

Remote Kittens: Feeding the geese to the homeless opens them up to all sorts of legal problems. They would have to test all the geese for medical problems and in the end who knows how much it would wind up costing? Plus the first person to get sick and die after eating the meat would lead to a shiatstorm.


That's why you contract out the meat processing. Surely one of the Mayor's friends is in the meat processing business...
 
2010-07-24 11:21:21 AM  
Farking idiot city-slickers...they don't understand that suddenly eliminating half the east coast geese will touch off a population explosion.

/just open the goose season to year-round with no bag limits
//I'll do my part
///Remmy Wingmaster FTW
 
2010-07-24 11:22:06 AM  
Do not waste food.
 
2010-07-24 11:25:57 AM  

StoneColdAtheist: Farking idiot city-slickers...they don't understand that suddenly eliminating half the east coast geese will touch off a population explosion.


???
 
2010-07-24 11:28:15 AM  

Weidermeijer: I do not understand why they are protected.

There are WAY too many of those bastards. AND they are mean.

If they were good to eat we would have a decent solution to the problem of feeding people at shelters. Except you need big ovens.

Stupid, mean birds.


Look up the migratory birds act, or the migratory birds treaty act in the States. Made between USA and Canada when we were still a British colony. Good intentioned act, protects some endangered species, but the list could use paring down. Migratory Birds Treaty Act (new window) (links to mobile version)
 
2010-07-24 11:28:32 AM  
Remote Kittens

Sounds like another fine incentive to not be homeless to me.
 
2010-07-24 11:29:01 AM  

the_reverend: I think it's hilarious when people refer to them as "Canadian Geeseooses".

It's "Canada Geeseooses" and "Canada Goose", it's just their name, not their citizenship.


FTFM, mongooses
 
2010-07-24 11:30:59 AM  
Don't peeps go apeshiat over their livers? Or am I on the wrong goose?
 
2010-07-24 11:32:50 AM  

browser_snake: "The captured geese are placed alive in commercial turkey crates. The geese would be brought to a secure location and euthanized with methods approved by the American Veterinary Medical Association. Euthanized geese would be buried."

The damn things are edible. Homeless shelters need to be eating goose like rich Europeans used to. For gods sake, don't waste food.


My guess would be they're poisoning them. Thus not fit for consumption.

/make goose mulch out of them then?
 
2010-07-24 11:35:48 AM  

the_reverend: It's "Canada Geese" and "Canada Goose", it's just their name, not their citizenship.


Whatever you want to call them, Canadia needs to come down and get their illegal alien geese off my lawn.
 
2010-07-24 11:47:21 AM  

Remote Kittens: Feeding the geese to the homeless opens them up to all sorts of legal problems. They would have to test all the geese for medical problems and in the end who knows how much it would wind up costing? Plus the first person to get sick and die after eating the meat would lead to a shiatstorm.


Since when has the gov't gave a shiat about the homeless, considering alot of them are 'Nam vets?
 
2010-07-24 11:48:00 AM  
My parents live just over the NY border in CT. I took my daughters (then 5) to the local park to run some energy off of them. The girls couldn't walk or run ANYWHERE. There was so much goose poop the grass was slick and the sidewalks were landmine fields.

My mom explained the local Audoban(sp?) society threw a fit when it was proposed that the geese be removed and killed/relocated. So now the park is for the geese and not for people.

(not my picture, but beautiful shot of the park - and the geese!)

Link (new window)
 
2010-07-24 11:51:18 AM  

meyerkev: StoneColdAtheist: Farking idiot city-slickers...they don't understand that suddenly eliminating half the east coast geese will touch off a population explosion.

???


In any reasonably stable, reasonably mature real-world natural environment, all the organism populations are at their carrying capacity, with some year-to-year fluxuation. In the case of the geese, per TFA that means that about 1.1 million geese can find enough food to survive both at the southern reaches of their yearly range, as well as up in northern Canada at their summer nesting grounds. If the totality of the environment could support more, there would be more.

Now magically remove half the population...

What happens? All of a sudden every goose has twice as much food to eat (we're keeping it real simple here, ignoring all sorts of factors), both down south during the winter and up north during the summer. Because they have more to eat during the winter, more geese live to arrive and nest up north. The geese are fatter and stronger so they lay more eggs. There's more food for the chicks, so more of them survive to head south for the next winter. Since there are fewer geese down south, a greater percentage of this young cohort survives their first winter to return to mate the next year, and so on and so forth.

Within about three years the population will bounce back to and then surpass its original level, only to crash from overcrowding. Rinse and repeat the cycle until a new equilibrium is reached.

There are lots of examples of this in nature without man's intervention: showshoe hare and lynx, lemmings, forests after fires, etc.

This plan is half baked and won't work.
 
2010-07-24 11:51:57 AM  
www.randomlicious.org
/obligatory
 
2010-07-24 11:58:02 AM  
Nowadays we use fancy software to design aircraft engines and nacelles to withstand bird strikes. And they pack a punch. The bulkheads are literally armored to prevent the bird mass from breaching firewalls. But everything is analyzed assuming 1 bird, which is rarely the case.

So yea, kill the lot of 'em.
 
2010-07-24 11:59:37 AM  
Wildlife management, lefty style.
 
2010-07-24 12:03:43 PM  

StoneColdAtheist: This plan is half baked and won't work.


I assume they're talking about a periodic culling here, not a one-off goose murdering spree.
Now, with less of these geese around, it would allow more resources to go to competing animals. We could see population increases in ducks/geese/etc that we did not expect.
 
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