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20463 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jun 2003 at 1:39 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite   |  Watch    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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  2012-04-20 06:26:50 AM  
Couldn't find my non-workout shorts this morning. Other than my cut offs.

Guess I'm buying knee pants in San Juan.
 
  2012-04-20 06:27:48 AM  
Also, something weather appropriate. Supposed to storm for a while.
 
  2012-04-20 10:03:30 AM  
Happy Friday!
 
  2012-04-20 10:14:24 AM  
Checking in.

First gig of my entire life is tomorrow. We're playing a 45-minute set at a local small town parade/ festival called Mitchellfest. Nervous but strangely pumped.
 
  2012-04-20 10:18:19 AM  
Break a leg...what songs ya doing?
 
  2012-04-20 11:21:48 AM  
He's in a Winger cover band. They also do Stryper.
 
  2012-04-20 01:02:23 PM  
Foo Fighters- Walk & Everlong
Alien Ant Farm- Smooth Criminal
Thousand Foot Krutch - Phenomenon
Slipknot - Snuff
John Rzeznick - I'm Still Here
Lifehouse - Everything
And another song called You Won't Relent, but I have no idea who does it.
 
  2012-04-20 01:07:56 PM  
For equipment, I'm packing my American Deluxe Fat Strat, Squier Tele, Roland GT-8, NADY wireless, playing through 200 watts of Marshall MG100HD and Behringer GMX212, both set clean. All effects through the GT-8.
 
  2012-04-20 01:23:01 PM  
my boss is running a marathon tomorrow
I will be sleeping/hungover with the runs

so kind of the same thing
 
  2012-04-20 01:42:52 PM  
Go Hammer!

If I were to tweet "I'm in Pretty Rico" that would be muy maracon?

NTTWWT, hermano.
 
  2012-04-20 01:54:36 PM  
Even better, since this gig is at the same time as the prom, the band director of Thomson HS has offered us a slot playing at the Relay for Life in May. Most of my band kids will be at prom tomorrow, and they really want to see us play. Difficulty: 1500+ peeps at Relay.
 
  2012-04-20 01:58:09 PM  
what kind of p.a. are you playing thru? for that size crowd you're gonna need a decent p.a.
 
  2012-04-20 01:58:21 PM  
Ther is some thin ancient here in a UNC cap. ....jaxom?
 
  2012-04-20 02:02:37 PM  
Luckily, they won't all be gathered, simply watching us play, a couple hundred will be walking the track, hundreds more running booths and shopping in them. High School Jazz Band will also play. All the sound is simply what we bring with us. Probably no more than 200-300 people watching the band at any particular time, although we could attract more, if we're any good.
 
  2012-04-20 02:03:24 PM  
The venue is basically a football/ soccer field behind the school.
 
  2012-04-20 02:07:38 PM  
do you have a pa?
 
  2012-04-20 02:11:12 PM  
Goodnight, pa.
 
  2012-04-20 02:12:39 PM  
I wish my room were ready or my friends would respond to my texts and emails, so I wouldn't have to hang out with you epeople.
 
  2012-04-20 02:13:40 PM  
We might can make use of the one the Jazz Band will use, but I have no idea how to mic the amps, really. I'm kinda afraid of damaging something. That's why I'm taking 200 personal watts.
 
  2012-04-20 02:14:34 PM  
Your room, meds?

Rubber?
 
  2012-04-20 02:28:22 PM  
well...what's the singer gonna sing out of?
 
  2012-04-20 02:31:15 PM  
Meds went to PR to hang. Wonder who he is not drinking with there?
 
  2012-04-20 02:36:47 PM  
He's got two amps as well.
 
  2012-04-20 02:37:50 PM  
We're not trying to project throughout the entire venue, just provide music within a good 200' radius. I think we've got that covered.
 
  2012-04-20 02:51:22 PM  
Good luck and have fun (that's what its all about). Try not to play Too loud.
 
  2012-04-20 02:52:44 PM  
That's a definite concern. These southern baptists don't appreciate a rocking good time after they hit 30 or so.
 
  2012-04-20 02:53:27 PM  
Basically, I'm just shooting not not overpower the drums or vocals.
 
  2012-04-20 03:00:20 PM  
if the drums aren't miked he'll have to bang the shiat out of them and the singer will have to scream until the veins start popping out of his neck
 
  2012-04-20 03:21:25 PM  
Just ordered up a new lightweight rain jacket for my trip. Hoping shipping ETAs are reliable, because I'm cutting it close. Also waiting on my camera rain cover that I ordered a few days ago.
 
  2012-04-20 03:37:18 PM  
muff diving?
 
  2012-04-20 03:50:43 PM  

knobglobbler55: if the drums aren't miked he'll have to bang the shiat out of them and the singer will have to scream until the veins start popping out of his neck


Why are you miking the drums?
Because I can't hear them over the the guitars.
Why were guitars amped up in the first place?
Because people couldn't hear them over the drums.

. . .

Think about it.
The best band plays onloy loud enough to be heard at the back of the room, and can deal with anyone talking over the music.
That's why I stop playing if someone talks, and usually play something that makes them shut up and listen, anyway.
 
  2012-04-20 04:03:13 PM  
Dude, last gig I played was to 4 year olds at Club Med. The show must go on.
 
  2012-04-20 08:19:59 PM  

knobglobbler55: Dude, last gig I played was to 4 year olds at Club Med. The show must go on.


That. Actual;y sounds like fun.
 
  2012-04-21 08:47:38 AM  
Rubber room? No, but I do have rubbers in my room.

Lord knows why I would pack them.
 
  2012-04-21 10:21:04 AM  
So here's how my life goes, ridiculously abridged version:

Back in 2010 I was seeing a girl. Had been acquaintances, friends, for a while, went to the next level, things were good. But her life was pretty crazy, she went through some personal stuff, and she broke up with me. It sucked. For all intents and purposes, and from the state of both our facebooks, she moved on, I moved on, that was that. And we haven't really spoken in over a year.

Last night, I went to Columbus to check out some bands. One of the bands included a couple of guys that were in her old band. I knew there was a chance she'd be there, and had no idea how it would go. As I get to the neighborhood where the bar is, I end up driving around the block like 4-5 times looking for a parking space. Sure enough.. I find a space, start backing in, turn my head, and there she is, walking up the street.

Perfectly explainable, but... yeah.

Anyway it was good. We talked. Or mostly she talked. Been through a bunch of shiat in the past year but it sounds like she's doing better than ever, and I'm happy for her.
 
  2012-04-21 10:27:46 AM  
douse that torch in alcohol
 
  2012-04-21 11:19:22 AM  
Yeah, that was part of the "moving on" process mentioned above.

This is more about me having a good reason to clear up some of my own confusion and insecurity.
 
  2012-04-21 12:31:41 PM  
god, i hope not

if everyone gets there heads right, i'll have no one left to talk to
 
  2012-04-21 03:07:01 PM  
never gonna happen.
 
  2012-04-21 03:31:05 PM  
there heads? where heads?

wear heads?

ware head? ware?
 
  2012-04-21 03:46:40 PM  
I said some, not all. Still plenty more confusion and insecurity left.
 
  2012-04-21 04:20:32 PM  
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2012-04-21 04:49:41 PM  
*drives by in a golf cart* Freaks!!!
 
  2012-04-21 05:06:54 PM  

Dreadstar: I said some, not all. Still plenty more confusion and insecurity left.


Don't stick your dick in Yappy.
Again.
 
  2012-04-21 06:55:34 PM  
For immediate release:

Due to waning interest, "Black Forklift Driver Monthly" and "Black Hockey Player Monthly" are now merging into the same quarterly publication.
 
  2012-04-21 07:46:20 PM  
Cool. Because I really needed a new magazine since my "Amish Online Bi-Annually" went chapter 15.
 
  2012-04-21 07:47:30 PM  

leftyblonde: [i59.photobucket.com image 160x107]


Tha's what I do every time you poke me on Fb.
/Or is Fb the father?
 
  2012-04-21 09:15:19 PM  
Fzzk Yeah! Mitchellfest went really well. Aside from the fact that I semi-sat on a stool most of the time while playing to keep my knees from shaking, we went over like a Heavy Metal Dirigible! Got a $100 check to boot! And a standing invitation to come back next year.
 
  2012-04-22 10:49:26 AM  

HAMMERTOE: Mitchellfest


Servo was there?
Crow?
 
  2012-04-23 09:04:32 AM  
$15 a day for internet? And I almost considered having this place do my laundry, until I looked at the price list.

Well, clothes line in the shower. I guess I'll be bathtub washing.

/not rich
 
  2012-04-23 09:29:41 AM  
just knock the crust off and put them back on...
 
  2012-04-23 09:44:34 AM  
Who are Servo and Crow?
 
  2012-04-23 10:03:16 AM  
I've decided to reenact the Rum Diaries, although I've never seen the movie or read the book.

Also, I will not be keeping a diary.

/If I don't finish this bottle by Thursday morning, I have to check my luggage.
 
  2012-04-23 10:45:01 AM  
Mitchell
very funny story.
 
  2012-04-23 11:35:15 AM  
Rain cover for the lens is bigger than I expected. Oh well, it should still work.
 
  2012-04-23 12:03:19 PM  
I suspected it had something to do with MST3000. I've only watched one episode, and never heard their names mentioned.
 
  2012-04-23 12:58:49 PM  
My god, this bottle hits back. This is going to be tough going.

I'm winning round 1, though. Ahead on points. Though I just took a vicious shot to the temple. And another to the stomach. Ooof!
 
  2012-04-23 01:15:17 PM  
It's cold here today. Had to hit up the Whole Foods hot bar for some yummy tomato bisque soup.
 
  2012-04-23 01:53:25 PM  
cool here too
 
  2012-04-23 02:31:13 PM  
Holy kumquats!

There was some dude doing 15 or 20 handstand pushups on the beach before he started about 800 lunges before getting in the water. There is a fine line between a hobby and an obsession. At some point you're no longer attention whoring because NO ONE CARES BUT YOU.

And yet, I've spent a whole post writing about this guy.

I also started to chat up his girl--she was doing normal pushups--right next to him. He was too busy trying not to fall over.

Speaking of trying to fall over. Round 2!
 
  2012-04-23 02:31:48 PM  
If he isn't a pro athlete, he is a sad, sad human being.

Maybe I should learn how to do handstand pushups.
 
  2012-04-23 02:46:18 PM  
At some point you're no longer attention whoring because NO ONE CARES BUT YOU.

agreed
 
  2012-04-23 02:50:56 PM  
hehehe. thanks for that.

I just hear Brickskellar closed in DC. damn. shame.

/no one ever cared but me, nobbs.
 
  2012-04-23 02:51:32 PM  
^d
 
  2012-04-23 04:17:35 PM  

medius: I also started to chat up his girl


tell her you know vudukungfu.
Always an ice breaker.
 
  2012-04-23 04:59:01 PM  
then i got drunk [just by letting the sun dehydrate me] and passed out in my room for 2 hours

man vs. rum

man never wins
 
  2012-04-23 05:21:23 PM  
I have this "work friend" that just talks at me for 20 minutes at a time whenever she sees me, even if I'm talking to other people. Do any of you guys have that problem? It is mad annoying. Sometimes I just wanna work, yo!
 
  2012-04-23 05:30:02 PM  
I don't ever want to work so it isn't a big issue for me. Plus my job sort of is defined by talking to those in my dept.
 
  2012-04-23 05:36:57 PM  
She's not in my department. And I have the strange feeling so she thinks I'm a biostat...she wants me to review this email she's sending to her dissertation advisor on her methods section.
 
  2012-04-23 06:02:56 PM  
Yeah, there's a dude here like that. Nice guy but he usually wants to talk when the shiat is hitting the fan.
 
  2012-04-23 06:59:58 PM  
Well, I'm in charge. (who ever thought that was a good idea) So I'm just chillin. Whenever someone else wants to do this I'm outta here.
 
  2012-04-23 07:00:29 PM  
I talk to myself and I wish I'd leave me alone.

Yeah, I'm not helpful.

I also shiat on fans.

Trains, biatches.
 
  2012-04-23 07:05:43 PM  
iThink iFap is iDeaf.

"she's dead!"

No wonder she didn't move around so much.

/time to find trouble on Carolina beach. Ciao.
 
  2012-04-23 07:26:26 PM  
or plan b is to pass out and not have to deal with it

maybe may be the better option
 
  2012-04-23 10:47:13 PM  

medius: or plan b is to pass out and not have to deal with it

maybe may be the better option


*poke*
 
  2012-04-24 12:15:48 AM  
I would like the plan b pill to be given away free at Walmart.
Twice the abortion, half the guilt!
 
  2012-04-24 01:28:03 AM  
I've gotten half the bottle down in 12 hours. But I've also spent half that time sleeping. Rope-a-dope?

There are no winners here.

Except the mosquitoes. Since I've got the window wide open--to hear the coquis, the ocean, and the pool grotto make out sessions--those bloody buzzing bloodsucking biatches are definitely getting the sweet end of the deal. Skeeters notwithstanding, this is perfect weather for AC haters like me. Looking forward to the malarial ague and chills.

Going to try to get up again in 4 hours for a 4 mile run. Assuming I can get back to sleep...
 
  2012-04-24 07:00:43 AM  
There's a skeeter on my peter; whack it off.
There's a skeeter on my peter; whack it off.
There's a dozen on my cousin, I can hear the farkers buzzin'
There's a skeeter on my peter; whack it off.
 
  2012-04-24 07:48:25 AM  
Golf yesterday and probably today. Life is good.
 
  2012-04-24 08:13:14 AM  
skeet skeet skeet, motherfarkers
 
  2012-04-24 09:39:31 AM  
Haha. Me & vudu are hanging out in all the same threads.
 
  2012-04-24 09:54:39 AM  

HAMMERTOE: Haha. Me & vudu are hanging out in all the same threads.


Yeah we have been for a week now.
 
  2012-04-24 10:59:16 AM  
I changed the front bikes on the bike last night, wasn't a pussy hair worth of pad on either one of them. Sounded like sand paper rubbing over metal, God horrible sound.
Now they're smooth as butter. It surely is the little things in life.
 
  2012-04-24 11:10:55 AM  
I am thinking about trying to building a tear drop camper trailer.

Yea I should be working...
 
  2012-04-24 11:11:01 AM  
LOL you risked farking up a few hundred in rotors to save money on buying brake pads? Knobby your killing me!

Well couple more days and will be in the new house. I just order epoxy for the garage floor. Going to be a biatch to install but it will look awesome when it's done.
 
  2012-04-24 11:11:07 AM  
We should start a riot.
 
  2012-04-24 11:21:21 AM  
That epoxy stuff comes out real nice, I did it in my garage back when Moses was on that mountain. Looks great and easy to clean up.
 
  2012-04-24 12:22:53 PM  
It's also great on the face.
 
  2012-04-24 01:06:27 PM  
Our server is down; aint doing shiat all morning. But, I got the new camera body and my new rain jacket. So farking ready to get out of here. 3 days.
 
  2012-04-24 01:27:05 PM  
don't forget to wear rubbers down there, don't know what you'll catch
 
  2012-04-24 02:32:59 PM  

HAMMERTOE: We should start a riot.


What, in one of the other threads? 'Cause this place is the only place I can hang out with out being insulted, bored, or made to laugh at the other posts.
 
wib
  2012-04-25 12:57:18 AM  
I need a vacation
 
  2012-04-25 01:42:11 AM  
wut?
 
  2012-04-25 06:42:06 AM  
Of course in another thread. Rioting is not allowed in the anal emporium.
 
  2012-04-25 09:50:38 AM  
hammer, know that blind faith song, had to cry today?
 
  2012-04-25 02:38:42 PM  

HAMMERTOE: Of course in another thread. Rioting is not allowed in the anal emporium.


someone might slip in the BBQ sauce and lube and get hurt.
Company dick sniffer keeps walking behind me.
 
  2012-04-25 03:10:23 PM  
Looks like my Duc is going to be a New Yorker, NYC cop put a deposit on it and is coming to pick it up.
 
  2012-04-25 03:52:21 PM  
I'll keep an eye out for it
 
  2012-04-25 04:11:34 PM  
I don' t think I've ever heard it.
 
  2012-04-25 04:38:13 PM  
Can you hum a few bars?
 
  2012-04-25 04:53:33 PM  
check the tune out, i just finished the chart for it
 
  2012-04-25 11:41:53 PM  
I think it's time for Rob Graves to come back.
 
wib
  2012-04-26 12:50:11 AM  
ISAID I NEED A VACATION
 
  2012-04-26 08:29:03 AM  
So take a damn vacation wib. It ain't rocket science.
 
  2012-04-26 09:22:29 AM  
Where are you gonna go?
 
  2012-04-26 09:38:16 AM  
To your momma's place!

Last day at work, and it's Bring Your Child to Work Day...and I have to take pictures. Joy!
 
  2012-04-26 09:55:02 AM  
So as I'm cruising over the WillyB Bridge this morning, there happens to be a nice size Trawler (maybe 40') heading north up the East River. Guess what it was named? "FREEDOM"....that image is now burned in my mind.
 
  2012-04-26 12:37:23 PM  
Ain't nothing free about a boat.
 
  2012-04-26 01:00:46 PM  
these cheese curds are not squeaking. I want my damn money back
 
  2012-04-26 02:37:53 PM  
I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to like that American Apparel model
a little bit too much
 
  2012-04-26 03:37:30 PM  
I don't think I'll find the same bonus in my room at the Ritz as jesus found in his, but its worth a look.

It's like I'm paying more for less.
 
  2012-04-26 03:45:30 PM  
You secret agents need to lear better blind drops.
 
  2012-04-26 07:12:04 PM  
lame sauce
 
  2012-04-26 07:51:10 PM  
Why the hell you go to Jamaica? Masochism?

Why not Haiti?
 
  2012-04-26 07:51:48 PM  
Meds you can pick some spots.
 
  2012-04-26 08:19:32 PM  
Meds should've went to the Galapagos and let me hitch a ride in this suitcase.
 
  2012-04-26 08:20:24 PM  
Haiti? Wha?

I came down here for weddings so I was not in charge of picking the destinations.

Been fun so far.
 
  2012-04-26 09:25:33 PM  
I've spent a lot oI f time in the Carib. Jamaica is the 2nd shiathole. Haiti is first. I can not believe anyone goes there. But ignorance is bliss. Good side, you can drink/smoke enough to ignore it. That is what the locals do.
 
  2012-04-26 09:32:47 PM  
Some people go there to help, others to spread cholera.
 
  2012-04-26 09:38:41 PM  
No one goes to Jamaica to help. To smoke maybe. Canes't believe people go there on vacation given all the other choices

Have to be incredibly cheap or dope smokers.
 
  2012-04-26 09:40:20 PM  
Booking a wedding there is so incredibly stupid in a whitebread way that you just can't comment.
 
  2012-04-26 09:47:31 PM  
Geez Jax. Anything else you want to hate on?
 
  2012-04-26 09:55:51 PM  
Well, let's see. Is anyone else planning a wedding.

OK I suck. Let's go from there.
 
  2012-04-26 11:47:49 PM  
Woah, that's so un-Jax-like.

I had to make sure I didn't post that.
 
wib
  2012-04-27 01:20:18 AM  
Taking time off for little win in August. Gotta plow through.
Jamaica is fine.
 
wib
  2012-04-27 01:20:53 AM  
I farking changed that to wib 3 times
 
  2012-04-27 06:59:08 AM  
what changed it back?

booze or autocorrect or 50/50?
 
  2012-04-27 09:52:08 AM  

Jaxom: Haiti is first.


My sister and her husband just got back from there.
They built a church.
 
  2012-04-27 10:09:00 AM  

wib: Taking time off for little win in August. Gotta plow through.
Jamaica is fine.


You are dead to me.
 
  2012-04-27 10:10:31 AM  
In case you wondered, I am in a bad mood.
 
  2012-04-27 10:26:37 AM  
somebody needs a hug...go for a run then jerk-off, works for me
 
  2012-04-27 10:44:51 AM  
I went for a run this morning. Did wonders. I've only jerked off once all week--and even then I had to force myself (auto-rape?)--and I've only had one cigarette (and 2 cigars and 2 puffs of something else). And somehow, I'm in a great mood.

Drank a shiatload of rum and got some sun, though, which is nice.
 
  2012-04-27 11:29:28 AM  
Just needed some sun.

I went here last night for dinner. Got the burger and a Sweet Josie. Yum.
 
  2012-04-27 11:30:19 AM  
Doing a cameo in my daughter's school production of Srven brides for seven brothers. Much good times have been had so far
 
  2012-04-27 12:49:20 PM  
I don't remember there being a part for an old, pervert in that play. Must have missed that one.
 
  2012-04-27 01:04:39 PM  
Six, to be exact. Basically, the shenanigans go on throughout the play, and everybody gets hitched at the end. Well, six fathers (the real fathers of the "brides",) accompany the brothers to the wedding. Armed. I'm father #3.

First show was last night. Well, the brides have to rush to get into wedding dresses just before the wedding scene, which is the last scene in the musical. The back zipper in My daughter's (Bride #3, of course,) dress ripped loose from the lace. They had to hurriedly find safety pins to close the rear of the dress, but it took a little too long. So, when we marched out onto stage for the wedding scene, she was nowhere to be seen. Her "fiance" looked back at me when they lined up, and all I could do was shrug my shoulders, to great comedic effect from the point of the view of the audience. They ran through the wedding vows, with him pretending she was standing there. Just as the preacher told the brothers they could kiss their brides, she ran onto the stage and basically leaped into his embrace, just as he was embracing and kissing thin air to stay "in part". The surprise on his face was priceless, and the audience cheered with approval.

I had to lol.
 
  2012-04-27 01:38:28 PM  
Hi. How are you?
 
  2012-04-27 02:08:00 PM  
High. How are you?
 
  2012-04-27 02:12:43 PM  
Get low, get low, get low.
 
  2012-04-27 02:15:50 PM  
She had them Apple-bottom jeans, the boots with the furrrrr....
 
  2012-04-27 02:38:13 PM  
I'm embarrassed for all yall right now.
 
  2012-04-27 02:49:28 PM  
Don't be.

Let's go.....
'Cause I'm feeling like I'm running
And I'm feeling like I gotta get away, get away, get away
Better know that I don't and I won't ever stop
'Cause you know I gotta win everyday, day
Go!
See they really really wanna pop me
Just know that you will never flop me
And I know that I can be a little cocky...
 
  2012-04-27 03:54:13 PM  
+1
 
  2012-04-27 04:19:56 PM  
How would I know it was ruffian if I saw him out in Chicago? We live like a mile from each other.

I'm the obese lady wearing a Taz sweatshirt and black Lee jeans.
 
  2012-04-27 05:51:08 PM  
Don't forget the 3 brown kids in tow
 
  2012-04-27 09:15:31 PM  

medius: +1


Link Qing medius to the thread.
 
  2012-04-27 11:36:30 PM  
i'm there, dude.
 
  2012-04-27 11:46:10 PM  

medius: i'm there, dude.


medius: i'm there, dude.


They see you trollin'
They be hatin'
They see you trollin'
They be hatin'

Classic medius in an epic thread.
 
  2012-04-28 01:32:56 AM  
Making Ukraine Kool.
 
  2012-04-28 01:59:25 AM  
Making it warm in the pool.
 
  2012-04-28 03:03:27 AM  
Romeo y Julietta. awesome
 
  2012-04-28 01:42:01 PM  
 
  2012-04-28 07:59:22 PM  
People who unnecessarily flag posts on Craigslist are called "Flaggots".
My intellectual property. K thanks
 
  2012-04-29 02:49:16 AM  
People who espouse religion are Theotards.
/Yeah, I coined that.
 
  2012-04-29 01:38:41 PM  
i bumped myself to first again

it's just too addicting not to

some people are given privileges to make them feel special and help keep the others in line

for an extra $50-250 dollars you spend out of your limited discretionary budget because, hey, you're treating yourself, you too can travel in the same luxury the wealthy spend thousands of dollars on without a second thought

you benefit, the airlines benefit, and the whole farking system benefits

win/win, whole lotta win

/however, there is no reason why i should even try to lie to myself about which side of the exploiter/exploited line i'm on on this trip
 
  2012-04-29 02:43:34 PM  
I guess "First" being UFIA, regardless.
 
  2012-04-29 03:19:14 PM  
First world guilt.
 
  2012-04-29 09:49:35 PM  
There was no guilt. I almost felt guilty about not feeling guilty.

Then again, I'm not really feeling lately. And not in the usual depressively numb sense. Just not feeling emotions.

Never go full robot.
 
  2012-04-29 10:24:54 PM  
I think I'm the Mt St Helen's of testosterone right now.

Tomorrow, they're going to find me with my entire south slope exploded.
 
  2012-04-30 01:28:30 AM  
oh man, and the rivers are finally all clear of sediment now.
 
  2012-04-30 03:13:29 AM  
go swim
 
  2012-04-30 08:06:10 AM  
Ugh. What a weekend. To get things started off on the right foot, my Epiphone Les Paul fell from its hook and was irreparably destroyed Friday night. I bought that guitar the day Les Paul died. And- it was the exact same make, model and color as my very first electric guitar, back in 1979. Ironically, they both suffered the same fate as well. Set-necks, the headstock snapped off, and the necks cracked down the truss rod.
 
  2012-04-30 08:52:37 AM  
I plugged in my Crate 2 X 10 twin channel amp this weekend and it was kida buzzy at first, then sounded OK, then started fading out, then just shait the bed.
It's only got the one preamp tube. I'm hoping that is all it is. Classic symptoms of tub failure, and the rest is hardwired goodness.
Hate to put it in the shop.
 
  2012-04-30 09:08:16 AM  
Tub failure? You been playing in the shower again?
 
  2012-04-30 09:09:22 AM  
If it's a tube, and there's only one, you might as well replace it yourself. I don't think single-tubes require biasing, so you should be okay after that.
 
  2012-04-30 09:09:55 AM  
sorry about the guitar, at least it didn't drop on your toe then smash to pieces. I had a Guild D35 that fell
over and snapped the neck. Oh well.
 
  2012-04-30 09:45:14 AM  
Ouch, sorry about the guitar Hammer.

I almost bought one this weekend, saw a really good deal on a Gibson LP Studio Goldtop, one of the 50's or 60's tribute models. Couldn't pull the trigger though. Running out of room.
 
  2012-04-30 11:04:06 AM  
any of you guitar slayers use a: CGCFAC tuning? neil youngs, don't let it g=bring you down is in this tuning, i've never seen it before or know what to call it
 
  2012-04-30 11:13:07 AM  
Guitar slayer has a unique meaning for hammer.
 
  2012-04-30 11:21:15 AM  
Never used it but it makes sense. Basically lets you play big chunky 5ths on the lower 3 strings and simplified barre chords on the upper strings.

Link
 
  2012-04-30 11:22:44 AM  
I'd call it double drop C.
 
  2012-04-30 11:33:30 AM  
Nice site, old Neil's a real rascal, huh?
 
  2012-04-30 11:36:00 AM  
i don't like using these funky tunings cause I hate tuning the friggin thing to begin with. That's why I'll never buy a 12 string. The chart he has for that song is right on the money.
 
  2012-04-30 11:38:21 AM  
wow, sugar mountain, i haven't heard that song in 30 years
 
  2012-04-30 12:01:17 PM  
I picked up a rock band guitar at a garage sale, then I set it back down.
 
  2012-04-30 12:21:25 PM  

Dreadstar: I almost bought one this weekend, saw a really good deal on a Gibson LP Studio Goldtop, one of the 50's or 60's tribute models. Couldn't pull the trigger though. Running out of room.


This one?

I just bought this as a replacement. And with that, I think my "family" is damn well complete.
 
  2012-04-30 12:38:08 PM  
More like this one but with chrome pickup covers. Heck, I still might go back for it. Your new one is sharp. Blue's my favorite color. Actually just recently picked up an SG that's the "flip-flop" blue/teal finish about a month ago.
 
  2012-04-30 12:42:30 PM  
Here's what my SG looks like. Luthier buddy of mine is doing a set up on it, should have it back soon.
 
  2012-04-30 12:48:13 PM  
That teal's nice. Never considered it for a guitar color before. Didn't even know it was an option.
 
  2012-04-30 12:57:04 PM  
Yeah, at first I didn't even realize that's what it was, just thought it was an oddball blue color. Really depends on the light. Pic is towards the green end of the scale.
 
  2012-04-30 12:59:36 PM  
can not wait to get my paws on that LP. Never had a Gibson before. Never even played on one. A dozen Epis, but never a Gibson.
 
  2012-04-30 01:04:06 PM  
I'm in the same boat, hence the SG. It was on consignment in the local shop and I got a good deal on it. It's a 2003 but practically brand new. Heck, the case looked like it was right out of the box. The hinges are still tight. Even had all the case candy.
 
  2012-04-30 01:50:28 PM  

HAMMERTOE: Tub failure? You been playing in the shower again?


Toob

T000000000000000be
 
  2012-04-30 01:56:37 PM  
lol


looooooooooooooooooooool :)
 
  2012-04-30 01:58:07 PM  

HAMMERTOE: can not wait to get my paws on that LP. Never had a Gibson before. Never even played on one. A dozen Epis, but never a Gibson.


It's like going from a baldwin to a steinway.
 
  2012-04-30 01:58:44 PM  
And I say that, having played all 4 brands.
 
  2012-04-30 02:04:06 PM  
I've got a EVH Wolfgang (first-run), and an American Deluxe "Fat Strat", and I get the distinction. Makes the anticipation of the Gibson all the more angst-y.
 
  2012-04-30 02:05:30 PM  
I have a Jackson V like Dave Mustaine used to play. It's clearly a "metal" guitar.
 
  2012-04-30 02:12:41 PM  
you know, someone can still suck on a $4,000 guitar
 
  2012-04-30 02:18:32 PM  
you know this guy, huh? Dan Electro guitar?


bradbama.files.wordpress.com
 
  2012-04-30 02:26:02 PM  

knobglobbler55: you know this guy, huh? Dan Electro guitar?


[bradbama.files.wordpress.com image 400x411]


Anyone my age has.
 
  2012-04-30 02:29:23 PM  
get out of the tub, girl
 
  2012-04-30 02:30:32 PM  
he bought a guitar to punish his mom

but spanking his mom with a guitar is way too freaky kinky, even for that neighborhood
 
  2012-04-30 03:48:20 PM  

knobglobbler55: any of you guitar slayers use a: CGCFAC tuning


In fact, I do. I'm learning to play Monster by Skillet for my band. It uses this very tuning. Also a few songs of Disturbed do as well, iirc.
 
  2012-04-30 03:53:39 PM  
My mother loved Floyd, crazy diamond that she was.
 
  2012-04-30 05:55:40 PM  
Back On The Wagon Day is the worst holiday ever. Don't even get off work for it.
 
  2012-04-30 06:18:08 PM  
The gal I dated that had 4 boys, then 5 boys, now has three of them in local heavy metal bands.
I vould toss up the links, but I don't want to offend.
 
  2012-05-01 09:46:23 AM  
I vould like to see them
 
  2012-05-01 11:37:54 AM  
My Les Paul arrived moments ago. After picking a few measures, I have the strangest boner right now.
 
  2012-05-01 12:17:55 PM  
i12.photobucket.com



Can't wait to get home.
 
  2012-05-01 12:20:31 PM  
i've plucked the strings on a les paul before

and even someone as guitarded as i am could feel--i don't know--some sort of superior difference

i think my buddy sold his for drug/booze/rent money

and because he's an idiot
 
  2012-05-01 12:21:14 PM  
i12.photobucket.com

Seriously.
 
  2012-05-01 12:22:09 PM  
I like how it came with the pick-guard separate, without the hole even drilled. Debating...
 
  2012-05-01 12:22:58 PM  
ooh, pretty

tell us how she is in bed
 
  2012-05-01 12:45:23 PM  
I can hear the sustain
 
  2012-05-01 12:56:03 PM  
Fresh out of the box, she's smooth. Strap-locks cumpulsory.
 
  2012-05-01 12:57:03 PM  
And squeals sweetly with moderate pinching. She's already vying to become my go-to.
 
  2012-05-01 01:22:15 PM  
you keep your damn hands off my wife


unless I get to watch
 
  2012-05-01 01:29:50 PM  
maybe you shouldn't hang this one so high

i know, i know: "gotta show off the axes, bro"
 
  2012-05-01 03:56:02 PM  
This one stays in the case.
 
  2012-05-01 04:36:00 PM  
just glad you're not naked in the reflection

/glad....or sad?
 
  2012-05-01 04:42:59 PM  
Reflection? Didn't notice that. Not likely, as I'm in the office, and Naked Thursday isn't for two more days.
 
  2012-05-01 04:46:39 PM  
take a Mr. Teapot picture when you get home
 
  2012-05-01 07:25:15 PM  
The teapot pic is an Internetz classic.
 
  2012-05-01 07:56:35 PM  

knobglobbler55: I can hear the sustain


Like a Steinway, BAY BEE!
 
wib
  2012-05-02 12:36:30 AM  
Sweet axe
 
  2012-05-02 01:19:22 AM  
Yeah, real nice Hammer
 
  2012-05-02 04:58:33 AM  
Very nice. Roomie has a '60's Gibson that's nice, but not that nice.
 
  2012-05-02 08:27:09 AM  
Well, took her home and introduced he to the rest of the electric haremTM. As I'll be using her with the GK-3 pickup to play Snuff, I immediately dropped her down into C#-standard. Even with the GK-3 hardware attached, she's still quite pretty, and accepted the "loose' tuning without complaint. It feels weird to have a pickup directly below my palm-muting position. The GK-3 requires mounting 1mm below the strings, and mounts directly to the tune-o-matic bridge. Just slide the bridge off, screw the pins in 1mm, set on the pins, and slide the bridge back on. Also installed some strap-locks (of course.)
 
  2012-05-02 01:02:33 PM  
Chattanooga late-Summer Bar crawl? It IS my 30 birthday this year...
 
  2012-05-02 01:03:53 PM  
i just knew you were from chattanooga, 'cause you're the only ten I see
 
  2012-05-02 03:22:27 PM  
Your bad pick up line killed the FPF
 
  2012-05-02 03:25:53 PM  
it kills everywhere i use it

it's like sarin gas
 
  2012-05-02 03:52:39 PM  
The simplest lines are the best. My best line:

Bond. James Bond.

Best come-back:

Lost. Get lost.
 
  2012-05-02 04:06:26 PM  
My line is simpler than that.

[silence]
 
  2012-05-02 04:17:20 PM  
Silence only works if you have a very intense look about you...


... while you sit there, licking your eyebrows.
 
  2012-05-02 06:24:54 PM  
I am ever met by the echoes of my own silence, as Narcissus still staring at his own reflection even while death descended upon him like the cold blackness of a clouded night.

But I also muffle my farts, though sometimes they smell like the cabbage composting by the sulfur furnace of sweat-drenched Hephaestus.
 
  2012-05-02 06:26:44 PM  
just farking with ya! you all know i talk too damn much

it's just that i talk to myself



/LP
 
  2012-05-02 06:28:59 PM  
damn, unfetchable: http://1heckofaguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/sounds-silence-cover s.jpg
 
  2012-05-02 06:30:16 PM  
and, of course, Fark screws up long URLs. no space before that last S. it's kind of funny

probably not funny enough for all this effort

i could have rehosted on tinypicm but: HOTLINK TILL I DIE, biatchES!
 
  2012-05-02 10:06:37 PM  
Snuff. Hammer, you have good taste in music.
 
  2012-05-02 11:19:32 PM  
Got two tickets for Trailer Park Boys at work. Bought them from a gal I work with. She had finals and couldn't go. I gave one away to a stranger and told him to pay it forward. He bought me a Long Trail on tap in the lobby. Great show. Home now and tired.
 
  2012-05-02 11:20:21 PM  
The musical portion was awesome. Shredding contest with audience participation.
This one dude really really could shred.
 
  2012-05-03 06:41:14 AM  

kissfromapocalips: Snuff. Hammer, you have good taste in music.


Love that song. Enough to keep a guitar tuned to C#-Standard, full-time.
 
  2012-05-03 09:45:36 AM  
hammer, what's a C# tuning?
 
  2012-05-03 10:29:57 AM  
It's where each string is tuned down 1-1/2 intervals (E->C#; A->F#; D->B; G->E; B->G#; e->c#). In this tuning, the whole song is a series of Am, F9 and G-chords.
 
  2012-05-03 10:32:57 AM  
Basically, I use three forms of tuning, "Drop" (where the Bass-E is dropped a full interval to D, and this, in a variety of keys,), "Standard", (normal guitar tuning, albeit in a variety of keys,) and DADGAD, an Indian/ Celtic form of tuning that Jimmy Page used to play Kashmir, as well as a few other songs, to great effect.
 
  2012-05-03 10:34:18 AM  
Correction: "C# Standard...1-1/2 Steps (3 intervals)...." My terminology sucks.
 
  2012-05-03 10:40:05 AM  
The DADGAD- tuning is extremely effective for playing Kashmir on the 12-string section of the SG-1275, although the length of the song and the weight of the guitar will test your strength well.

i12.photobucket.com
 
  2012-05-03 11:17:42 AM  
got it, you really don't have to tune down to play the song, it just wouldn't be in the same key as the original. A lot of guitarist tune to Eb (i.e. Hendrix Little Wing) B keys are warmer...Weezer tunes down too I believe.
 
  2012-05-03 11:52:31 AM  
looking at that pic makes me realize what it would feel like if i had 6 dicks

i'd never stop playing with myself
 
  2012-05-03 11:54:52 AM  

like a gatling or minigun (emphasis on mini?)


designingsound.org
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-augh!


/and i'm spent
 
  2012-05-03 12:18:24 PM  
I learn by playing with the music, and am a bit of a purist. I like my rendition of a song to be as close to the original artist's as possible. Usually, the reason for tuning down is to accommodate the singer's vocal range., but I agree in flattening adding warmth. SRV also played in the key of Eb. Most of Van Halen's material, Sweet Child of Mine, a lot of Ozzy's songs, even Ah, Leah by Donnie Iris and the Cruisers. I've spent decades playing along with the stereo. Now, I'm kicking it live. And it feels good.
 
  2012-05-03 12:20:20 PM  
windows media player has a slow re-play that doesn't change the pitch, very helpful.
 
  2012-05-03 12:21:50 PM  
$8500 worth of guitars in that one pic. With all of Hammertoe Jr's guitars, drum kit, piano, and brass, and the rest of my own gear, I've sunk a mini fortune into music. That pic is just the "Uptown Girls".
 
  2012-05-03 12:22:32 PM  
Yes, I've made extensive use of Media Player. It's wonderful.
 
  2012-05-03 12:24:52 PM  
What makes me sick: I spent a full month learning to play the solo from Hotel California. Of course, I try to make it as close to the original as I can, but still, it's slooow. Junior goes into his bedroom, and in three days, can play stuff like Metallica. Pisses me right the F34k off.
 
  2012-05-03 12:27:54 PM  
I bet I could get five other dicks for a lot less than $8,500.
 
  2012-05-03 12:43:36 PM  
Oh man I missed a shredding contest? shiat man I PAY FOR AIRFARE to get to those things...

Damnit.
 
  2012-05-03 12:50:13 PM  
They're worse hobbies, I'm probably in about $25K maybe a little more. I had an 8tk studio back in the day.
 
  2012-05-03 12:54:05 PM  
worse hobbies? like smoking, smoking, and drinking?
 
  2012-05-03 01:15:42 PM  
I only have about 7K in guitars.
 
  2012-05-03 02:11:37 PM  
Do you have a keytar?
 
  2012-05-03 02:12:12 PM  
i have a keyboard tie
 
  2012-05-03 02:20:10 PM  
No, but I have a tuxedo t-shirt.
 
  2012-05-03 02:33:23 PM  

HAMMERTOE: Th Kashmir ]


I'd like to learn that on the mandy.
Just hope I don't hear a cover by Evan Marshall first.
 
  2012-05-03 02:34:55 PM  
Evan Marshall can you imagine this guy arranging kashmir?
 
  2012-05-03 03:10:44 PM  
I've not heard a penis yet with the tonal capability of a good Les Paul. Perhaps if capped with AA maple...
 
  2012-05-03 03:13:04 PM  

vudukungfu: Evan Marshall


Wow.
 
  2012-05-03 03:13:58 PM  
An $8000 Studio? Studio Les Paul?
 
  2012-05-03 03:28:18 PM  
tascam 8 track
 
  2012-05-03 03:40:59 PM  

knobglobbler55: tascam 8 track


I have the casette one, needs some 30 minute BASFs, though.
 
  2012-05-03 03:44:48 PM  
no full reel to reel , 1/2 tape, if I remember correctly...yeah and i had a 4 track Portastudio too
 
  2012-05-03 04:19:28 PM  
Looks like the cuz and I are going in on 3 bottles of Absinthe from the family distillery in Germany for teh family reunion
 
  2012-05-03 04:25:43 PM  

knobglobbler55: no full reel to reel , 1/2 tape, if I remember correctly...yeah and i had a 4 track Portastudio too


Got a teac 1/4" RTR in the closet.
I only pull it out in Jan when it's cold outside and I want to listen to old national lampoon shows (from masters) on tape.
 
  2012-05-03 04:31:17 PM  
I went straight from nothing to computer, using mp3cut. I've got multi-tracking/ midi software, but I've never used it.
 
  2012-05-03 04:32:37 PM  

HAMMERTOE: I've not heard a penis yet with the tonal capability of a good Les Paul. Perhaps if capped with AA maple...


you're technique is poor

probably gripping the neck too tight

doesn't help things if you shove a lit cigarette into the head either

/strum strum, with a thumb in me bum
 
  2012-05-03 04:33:17 PM  
your technique is poorerer than my grammerer
 
  2012-05-03 07:17:19 PM  
Went over the guest list for the bachelor party I'm helping with this weekend. Most have been in the local mug shot round up. Should be interesting.
I'm part of the live music. I'm not worried, though, We're taking car keys and weapons away from guests as they arrive.
 
  2012-05-03 08:48:15 PM  
Got food on the cheep
trailer park boy standards.
Easy to eat
easy to regurgitate
Hot dogs
Philadelphia Phil style
with buns, and pallets to burn.
A fire circle, and rain on the way to protect us from burning down the forest.
(forset, in Rikkyism)
Acoustic instruments of destruction.
and a bag full of fireworks.
Printed out a bunch of raunchy jokes to tell, because we couldn't convince any respectable pimps or strippers to go to a deer camp to entertain a bunch of recidivist miscreants.
We plan on having a neighbor show up with fake cop lights @ 2AM to shut us down, and make them all bunk out for the night.
(human engineering)
and just to make sure every thing goes as planned, We are going to
Make breakfast burritos for the surviving members of the holocaust of hilarity.
 
  2012-05-03 08:52:38 PM  
Everyone gets to save face, telling of a ribald time wherein just as the party peaked, and the fire was out of fuel, the cops converged, and shut it down, and since 69% of the attendees are on probation or parole, they have to spend the night. Well, fed, and leaving in the AM, they have a righteous excuse for having to be locked down for the night for their spouses, and no evidence of strippers. Unless anyone gets out of hand, in which case, I reserve the right to pour glitter inside their passed out skivvies.
Leftyblonde
, you on board with this plan?
 
  2012-05-03 08:54:35 PM  
Also, any one who is a real dick, gets a ciggy loaded with a firecracker parked in their pocket.
/just sayin'
 
  2012-05-03 09:02:47 PM  
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
just got the call the party has been moved indoors. and they want some hard core vids.
I'm like , ok
but all I have is hard core.
they want like girl on girl tuff stuff
All I got is serious BDSM action with monkeys and shait.
So I have to swing by the store and pick up something "lite" in the pr0n dept.
Wish me luck?
Any sugestions?
 
  2012-05-03 09:14:15 PM  
All I can find is (and where in the fark did my Jean Claude VanDame DVD end up?) is Tiny White Girls, (Ironic, because the bride to be is neither tiny, nor white, and definitely not feminine) and Leather Bound Dykes From Hell ( so apropos, given that the boys are such manly men.) so this should be good.
Bwhahahahha
 
  2012-05-03 09:19:35 PM  
I should get a bunch of lady boy vids, with surprise endings, but I don't want the party to go all clockwork orange. Oh, well,
I'll be out tomorrow prepping the "zone" hiding and locking down guns, and shiat, and then saturday, getting things ready. Count on me back here Sunday PM, to spill beans on how it went downhill.

Why are you all standing around gaping like goatsee?


Wait, that's it.
I'mma rip the connection from the wifi to the Wii and get the remote to load up goatsee, and tubgrill, and put the farking shocker to them. They dont' really know what the innertubes are. This should be a night to remember, if they don't all go screaming out into the night.

Never mind. I has a plan.
and and evil one it is.

*rubs hands together maniacally*
 
  2012-05-03 09:21:08 PM  
not the politics thread?
Rats.
Mispost!
 
  2012-05-04 01:20:55 AM  
Hammer's pic damn near aroused me.
 
  2012-05-04 06:57:58 AM  
New home location had to change my work hours to beat traffic now I am in the office at 6:00 AM. I am beat :( Looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday.
 
  2012-05-04 06:58:34 AM  
Also get my new bike on Saturday :)
 
  2012-05-04 08:26:11 AM  
Woke up this morning to find both my cockatiels killed by a bird of prey sometime during the night.

Damn Klingons.
 
  2012-05-04 08:58:19 AM  

All_Lit_UP_AGAIN: Also get my new bike on Saturday :)


you rich brat, what kind did you get?
 
  2012-05-04 09:47:47 AM  
hammer, what was the song/band you tuned down to C#?
 
  2012-05-04 10:18:34 AM  
Snuff, by Slipknot.
 
  2012-05-04 11:10:34 AM  

HAMMERTOE: Snuff, by Slipknot.


O.K. F#m to D or if you capo the 2nd fret Em to C why hassle with the drop tuning?
 
  2012-05-04 11:12:21 AM  
Because I'm an anal purist.
 
  2012-05-04 11:16:03 AM  
Besides, what's the point of having six dicks if you're not going to whip a different one out every few minutes for each change in position?
 
  2012-05-04 11:20:35 AM  
I recently bought a light saber at Disney World, specifically for the purpose of removing the LED's and installing them in the cavity of my lucite Strat Copy. So, I'll have an effective stunt-cock too. Something to make everyone "Oooh and Aaahhhh..."
 
  2012-05-04 11:54:21 AM  
By everyone you mean 5 year old boys?
 
  2012-05-04 12:29:03 PM  
Happy b-day bidet!

Damn, it feels good to finally have an ass showerer. I'll save a fortune on teepee.
 
  2012-05-04 01:02:04 PM  
Ew.
 
  2012-05-04 02:52:34 PM  
and then I have to poop at work and realize that there's no bidet :-(

good day turned to a poo day
 
  2012-05-04 03:13:09 PM  
hurray! false alarm

but with all the fibre i've been ingesting, i expect operation dumbo drop to commence post haste
 
  2012-05-04 03:32:26 PM  
Poop chronicles.


Anyone have any good weekend plans? I'm going to be on campus all day tomorrow-Monday for my masters' program. Booooooooooooooooo
 
  2012-05-04 03:34:20 PM  
Fark Poop Forum
 
  2012-05-04 03:52:38 PM  
Roofing work, looks like.
 
  2012-05-04 04:37:07 PM  
I got a funeral to be a pall bearer at, then a wedding. Busy Saturday with scarcely any fun.
 
  2012-05-04 04:39:51 PM  
Band practice. Likely constipation.

Anybody got a cork-screw?
 
  2012-05-04 05:59:19 PM  

knobglobbler55: HAMMERTOE: Snuff, by Slipknot.

O.K. F#m to D or if you capo the 2nd fret Em to C why hassle with the drop tuning?


That particular song sounds better/heavier/more depressing tuned down.

In other news:
Is same age as me: check
Married (according to social media page): check
Grandparent: check
1000 miles away: check
Asking me if I'm single: WTF?
 
  2012-05-04 06:04:39 PM  
Maybe they want a third.
 
  2012-05-04 06:11:17 PM  

vudukungfu: you on board with this plan?


maybe?
 
  2012-05-05 01:10:49 AM  

leftyblonde: maybe?


Just got home
party's over
his wife and kid got there and I left the DVDs, so mayhem in the AM.
Most of the hardcore element showed up reeking of axe, thinking there would be strippers.
We ended up after an acoustic jam on the front porch, having an electric jam in the basement.
I made a fresh onion salsa and they tore it up.
Chopped onions, garlic, olives and dill pickle juice and taco sauce.
GO figure.
 
  2012-05-06 01:00:21 AM  

vudukungfu: Chopped onions, garlic, olives and dill pickle juice and taco sauce.


gross.
 
  2012-05-06 02:26:28 PM  
Mebbe so, I made it for a hotdog topping, and they thought it was salsa.
They ate it all up dippin' chips in it.

/I had some on my kraut dog.
//Steamed the can right on the grill.
///Bavarian style dicount store 89 cent kraut.
 
  2012-05-06 05:53:10 PM  

vudukungfu: Bavarian style dicount store 89 cent kraut.


submitter's mom?
 
  2012-05-06 09:58:03 PM  

medius: vudukungfu: Bavarian style dicount store 89 cent kraut.

submitter's mom?


Nah, she could handle the #10 sized can
 
  2012-05-06 11:40:47 PM  
In a pinch, can tampons be interchanged with suppositories?
 
  2012-05-07 10:42:10 AM  
@Knob

I got a Multistrada 1200 Touring

img.photobucket.com

img.photobucket.com
 
  2012-05-07 10:55:34 AM  
I saw a farking puma while hiking in montverde yesterday!
 
  2012-05-07 10:58:22 AM  
how are the hookers in montverde ?
 
  2012-05-07 11:03:06 AM  
what a monster bike, 150 hp, more than my car...reading the review, beauty. enjoy you spoiled brat
 
  2012-05-07 11:17:40 AM  

knobglobbler55: what a monster bike, 150 hp, more than my car...reading the review, beauty. enjoy you spoiled brat


Plus it as the full Termignoni exhaust, DP ECU and Air filter. Thing is fast and handles like crazy. I think I will keep this one for awhile.
 
  2012-05-07 12:17:12 PM  
No recession at ALUA's house. Nice bike.
 
  2012-05-07 12:22:20 PM  
that bike's at least $20K
 
  2012-05-07 12:24:57 PM  
Makes me miss my CT-70
 
  2012-05-07 12:41:22 PM  
Even if I could possibly afford that bike, I couldn't leave it out on the streets here, like I do my cheapy Jap bikes. They'd pick that thing up and throw it in a van in 2 seconds. Shame.
 
  2012-05-07 12:41:22 PM  

knobglobbler55: that bike's at least $20K


21,000.00 plus exhaust, chip, air filter, top case, corbin and bigger wind screen. More or less 4000.00 in after market stuff.

It's a 2010 I got it used with 5K on the clock got a great deal on it 18K out the door taxes everything.
 
  2012-05-07 12:43:24 PM  
I wouldn't leave it in downtown D.C. for any length of time. Just sayin'.
 
  2012-05-07 12:47:56 PM  
Insurance, knob. Though it would be a shame to lose it.
 
  2012-05-07 12:51:23 PM  

Jaxom: Insurance, knob. Though it would be a shame to lose it.


Nah, It doesn't work like that. Your bike is like a part of you. If it's stolen it's like someone cut your arm off. shiat even when you drop it, the first thing you do is make sure the bike is o.k....it's stupid but you get really attached to them. Kinda hard to explain that feeling.
 
  2012-05-07 12:52:08 PM  
Neat floating fender in the rear. Does it serve a purpose?
 
  2012-05-07 12:55:13 PM  
prevent kick ups & water probably.
 
  2012-05-07 12:57:11 PM  
it's no vespa
 
  2012-05-07 01:40:41 PM  

knobglobbler55: Jaxom: Insurance, knob. Though it would be a shame to lose it.

Nah, It doesn't work like that. Your bike is like a part of you. If it's stolen it's like someone cut your arm off. shiat even when you drop it, the first thing you do is make sure the bike is o.k....it's stupid but you get really attached to them. Kinda hard to explain that feeling.


This is 100% correct, I cried when the new owner took my CBR away.
 
  2012-05-07 01:42:57 PM  

HAMMERTOE: Neat floating fender in the rear. Does it serve a purpose?


I guess it will stop some of the water, mud and other stuff from hitting the bike. But not much :( I have cleaning bikes.
 
  2012-05-07 02:21:47 PM  
It's funny I do safety work at the race track near me. First thing a rider says when he goes down is "Is my bike ok?". Then when EMT shows up they say "Don't let them cut my leathers!"
 
  2012-05-07 02:26:32 PM  
Apparently buying a motorcycle causes an automatic loss of brain cells.
 
  2012-05-07 02:28:06 PM  
It makes no sense.

Friday nights I always park my bike on 48 & 10th (east), one Saturday I covered for someone and I parked on 47 & 10th(west)....well we got to drinkin and smoking...anyways I gets out of work and automatically go to 48th and 10th...guess what? the bike wasn't there. I swear I almost started
crying like a little girl.."someone took my bike waaahhhh"...luckily the 3 remaining brain cells kicked in
and I realized it was Sat not Friday. I walked around the block & there it was, right into front of an Irish pub where I left it. Boy was I happy!!
 
  2012-05-07 02:31:09 PM  

Jaxom: Apparently buying a motorcycle causes an automatic loss of brain cells.


dude, you never had a bike when you were 7 or 8. With the horn and ringy bell and tassles? And training wheels? I loved my bikes when I was a kid. It was like freedom even though I didn't go too far.
Someone stole my 10 speed in high school, i was really upset...I did get it back.
 
  2012-05-07 02:35:38 PM  
that must be it

i never had a bike as a child
 
  2012-05-07 03:02:45 PM  

knobglobbler55: Jaxom: Apparently buying a motorcycle causes an automatic loss of brain cells.

dude, you never had a bike when you were 7 or 8. With the horn and ringy bell and tassles? And training wheels? I loved my bikes when I was a kid. It was like freedom even though I didn't go too far.
Someone stole my 10 speed in high school, i was really upset...I did get it back.


I had multiple dirt bikes. We didn't form lasting relationships. Maybe cause I kept breaking them. I did like the Honda CT70 though. I can say that the freedom they gave a teen was heady, but then I got a car.
 
  2012-05-07 03:29:30 PM  
I rode one of those tiny honda shriner bikes around a few times. I was high school aged so I looked like a jackass doing it.

Who am I kidding I look like a jackass 100% of the time...


Ran a 5k this weekend. Finished...
 
  2012-05-07 03:35:12 PM  
Got a t shirt too I bet.
 
  2012-05-07 03:35:16 PM  
I guess if you grew up rural a car was the way to go. Bloomberg put so many bike lanes all over the place you'd think the whole city road bicycles.
 
  2012-05-07 03:38:08 PM  
I had bicycles and minibikes and dirt bikes. But bicycles couldn't take you anywhere, we were in the stix. Have to ride a bike 4 miles to get to 1 friend. Cars were a blessing.
 
  2012-05-07 03:47:03 PM  
I've got all these silly race finisher medals. Got another one this weekend for the Palisades Half Marathon.

Some of them make decent coasters, I guess.

/How was the Buddha like a busted old vacuum cleaner? He had lost all his attachments.
 
  2012-05-07 03:49:29 PM  
damn, good ole farm boys
 
  2012-05-07 03:51:43 PM  
Yeah, just tossed all my half IM medals. Just jingling on the doors. No body cares.
 
  2012-05-07 04:03:10 PM  
I almost gave Tokyo to the Pirate. But...it was Tokyo, man.

Would have given him SF, but that one is big enough to be a coaster.
 
  2012-05-07 04:04:38 PM  
No body cares.

Hey, your mom always cares!!!
 
  2012-05-07 04:05:50 PM  
about the trouble I've seen

your mommy cares 'bout my sorrow
 
  2012-05-07 04:53:47 PM  
I did not receive a t-shirt. Just a bottle of water and many looks of shame.
 
  2012-05-07 06:01:05 PM  
you can skip the running and get both of those things at walmart.
 
  2012-05-07 08:56:01 PM  
Dreadstar, that's the funniest thing anyone has said in here in a long time
 
  2012-05-07 09:13:54 PM  
Whoa, random appearance from Miss Big Ute.
 
  2012-05-07 09:57:51 PM  

rufie52: Dreadstar, that's the funniest thing anyone has said in here in a long time


lookin' goooooooooooooood girlllllll.
 
  2012-05-07 11:44:03 PM  
i304.photobucket.com
 
  2012-05-08 07:57:27 AM  
You, too, Lefty
 
  2012-05-08 10:05:38 AM  
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2012-05-08 02:34:42 PM  
slow news day.
 
  2012-05-08 04:48:31 PM  
I am all out of richard jokes
 
  2012-05-08 10:01:17 PM  

TheNewJesus: I am all out of richard jokes


4 jesus
 
  2012-05-08 10:04:35 PM  
I'm making it up!
 
  2012-05-08 10:07:16 PM  
try the veal
 
  2012-05-08 10:08:03 PM  
tip your waitress
 
  2012-05-08 10:08:38 PM  
I'll be here all week.
 
  2012-05-09 07:30:04 AM  
Hey Knobby I know nothing about being comfortable on a motorcycle. I always buy the fast ones ;)

But i took a short ride on this new bike and my right hand started to go numb any ideas?
 
  2012-05-09 07:31:05 AM  
Bars feel a little high for me, but I am used to being over the bars, on a sport bike.
 
  2012-05-09 08:54:54 AM  
Yeah I think it's the angle your wrist is at, I get that sometimes, your wrists need to be straight or your probably pinching a nerve...adjust the bars
 
  2012-05-09 08:57:27 AM  

knobglobbler55: Yeah I think it's the angle your wrist is at, I get that sometimes, your wrists need to be straight or your probably pinching a nerve...adjust the bars


Ok I am going to try to roll them forward a bit this might help. I am 6 foot maybe I need raisers. I guess I will just have to play around with different adjustments.
 
  2012-05-09 10:34:34 AM  
Happy Birthday, too-old, you old fart.
 
  2012-05-09 10:52:36 AM  
lurk moar
 
  2012-05-09 10:53:04 AM  
Thanks Anne!
 
  2012-05-09 10:55:29 AM  
well, hi, too-older
 
  2012-05-09 11:18:52 AM  
congrats on one more spin around the sun. Maybe you will make it one more time!
 
  2012-05-09 01:57:52 PM  
for too-old
i59.photobucket.com
 
  2012-05-09 02:34:58 PM  
dust off that nipple ring Tom Green!
 
  2012-05-09 02:57:03 PM  
do you mean someone should snort cocaine off his chest?

the line forms behind kiss
 
  2012-05-09 02:58:14 PM  
Thanks peoples!
 
  2012-05-09 02:58:38 PM  
this thread is tits
 
  2012-05-09 07:37:35 PM  
Happy birthday, Too-Old.
 
  2012-05-10 07:44:10 AM  
What a week, still trying to move completely. Cat has cancer and only a couple months to live. Have not been able to finish epoxying the new house garage floor. farking master bath shower is leaking into the library. Track bike is in peaces but I leave for the track right after work. So I am hoping to get it together there. Woke up late for work so now I can't skip out early. House is a mess, and I still have not gotten to ride the new bike for more then 20 minutes.
 
  2012-05-10 08:01:42 AM  
at least you have your health
 
  2012-05-10 08:54:04 AM  
BALLSSSSSSS DEEP!!!
 
  2012-05-10 08:55:49 AM  
Damn could not even get some pre track ass last night because of the cats diagnosis.
 
  2012-05-10 09:00:43 AM  

All_Lit_UP_AGAIN: Cat has cancer and only a couple months to live. Have not been able to finish epoxying the new house garage floor. farking master bath shower is leaking into the library. Track bike is in peaces but I leave for the track right after work.


Run after work, screw the garage floor, duct tape for now, caulk later, hug your cat.
 
  2012-05-10 09:30:55 AM  
Screw after work on the garage floor, cock for now, hug later, run over the cat.
 
  2012-05-10 09:51:04 AM  
Free cat
 
  2012-05-10 10:18:11 AM  
free soul

like a liberated iraqi
 
  2012-05-10 12:18:17 PM  
LOL
 
  2012-05-10 12:50:37 PM  
i don't get microwave popcorn anymore

i've popped 2 batches old school style on the stove top and it's faster and tastes better

let me repeat the important part: \

it's faster...

than a microwave...

why microwave why?
 
  2012-05-10 02:29:16 PM  
Why ask why?

/Try Bud Dry./
 
  2012-05-10 03:16:39 PM  
Why are you eating popcorn? Only 48 year old overweight secretaries eat popcorn during business hours...

THIS IS NOT A CIRCUS
 
  2012-05-10 04:54:21 PM  
Got the neighbor's 5 year old into making it on the woodstove in the basement where the Man Zone is.
We inheirit all the old good living room furniture down there.
You can knock over a beer and not get yelled at.
Grab a towel from the laundry.
So he's really into the making iton the woodstove. Which is cool, a lot of kids don't get that experience.
We started wtih jiffy pop. then worked up to real kernals and butter.
Next year, we grow our own.
 
  2012-05-10 05:30:58 PM  
it was last night while i was watching my big ass-teevee

bought some red popcorn at the union square farmers' marquette
 
  2012-05-11 08:47:45 AM  

vudukungfu: Got the neighbor's 5 year old into making it on the woodstove in the basement where the Man Zone is.


Giggity?
 
  2012-05-11 09:21:39 AM  
#1 on the Threatdown:

pedobears!
 
  2012-05-11 11:46:29 AM  
communist popcorn? wtf!
 
  2012-05-11 11:54:42 AM  
capitalist fake butter popcorn sucks balls
 
  2012-05-11 01:05:05 PM  
Yea but communist popcorn IS balls

although the pubes do help keep the salt on
 
  2012-05-11 01:45:44 PM  
Who eats popcorn?
 
  2012-05-11 02:15:34 PM  
you antisemites
 
  2012-05-11 02:44:40 PM  
I believe James Brown enjoys popcorn.
 
  2012-05-11 03:31:55 PM  
I like popcorn.
 
  2012-05-11 03:51:36 PM  

SteamyRain: I like popcorn.


You weigh 90lbs soaking wet.
 
  2012-05-11 05:10:35 PM  
don't blame the popcorn for the shiat people put on it
 
  2012-05-11 07:35:01 PM  

medius: don't blame the popcorn for the shiat people put on it


popcorn tastes like wallpaper paste without anything on it.
 
  2012-05-12 12:16:50 AM  
no, it tastes like popcorn

things that taste like wall paper paste:

wall paper paste
vegemite
lightly salted soft feta
more wall paper paste
the inner thigh of a live duck, trust me
you have to trust me on that, because they are hard to catch
wet flour--aka, dough that i screwed up making
 
  2012-05-13 11:27:27 AM  
I hate United fans.
 
  2012-05-13 11:54:13 AM  
I'm not a big fan of that airline either.
 
  2012-05-13 01:35:37 PM  
haha, City pulled out some magic from their own asses

unbelievable
 
  2012-05-13 04:57:36 PM  
Yes indeed. I'm almost glad I didn't get to watch it live, I probably would have blown several gaskets. Hopefully Fox Soccer will replay it several times this week.
 
  2012-05-14 10:48:59 AM  
I wonder if Gummi Bears have ever been on the THREATDOWN! Probably, show's been on for a long time now.
 
  2012-05-14 11:10:32 AM  
I forgot how much this work stuff sucks.
 
  2012-05-14 11:28:25 AM  
you know, i'd heard a long time ago that travolta wanted to leave scientology but the church had dirt on him

guess he'll be leaving now

unless there's more...
 
  2012-05-14 12:15:40 PM  
Spending too much time in chat rooms and on social-networking sites? A number of studies now suggest that this can be associated with depression, particularly in teens and preteens. Internet addicts may struggle with real-life human interaction and a lack of companionship, and they may have an unrealistic view of the world. Some experts even call it "Facebook depression."
 
  2012-05-14 12:19:28 PM  
don't judge me!
 
  2012-05-14 12:52:54 PM  
I just want to be loved!

with that suede glove
 
  2012-05-14 03:21:15 PM  
Do gals that have had abortions or miscarriages get Mother's Day Cards?
Just trying to feel out the public consortium here.
 
  2012-05-14 03:24:31 PM  
you shouldn't consort in public

and they celebrate earlier

arbor day at the latest
 
  2012-05-14 06:49:35 PM  

medius: don't judge me!


defense rests
 
  2012-05-15 08:53:00 AM  
morning coma got me again

always happens when i close my eyes "for a minute" after waking up

but today i was actually up for nearly an hour first and even got some work done

also figured out where LinkedIn had the invites hidden so maybe i would stop motherfarking spamming everybody to whom i had ever sent a gmail
 
  2012-05-15 01:58:14 PM  
right

Anyone else feel like a large chunk of society is in a cartoon universe and somehow you avoided receiving an invitation?
 
  2012-05-15 02:02:08 PM  
the animation is so realistic, but the dialogue is shiat
 
  2012-05-15 02:53:42 PM  

TheNewJesus: right

Anyone else feel like a large chunk of society is in a cartoon universe and somehow you avoided receiving an invitation?


I always feel like I'm crashing a Toontown convention and by the ned of the day, I'm trying to shake the weasels.
 
  2012-05-15 02:54:48 PM  

kissfromapocalips: Do gals that have had abortions or miscarriages get Mother's Day Cards?
Just trying to feel out the public consortium here.


I feel this could be a lucridous "untapped" market.
If you see what I did there.
 
wib
  2012-05-16 01:27:29 AM  
The lady who cleaned my room has a name it is remedius
 
  2012-05-16 10:19:55 AM  
F@cking hell now I have to pay fro kitty chemo. Damn this expensive.
 
  2012-05-16 10:28:16 AM  
What's wrong with your cat?
 
  2012-05-16 11:06:26 AM  
Kitty chemo? Hmmm......
 
  2012-05-16 11:28:31 AM  
Don't give your next cat HPV...
 
  2012-05-16 11:32:10 AM  
kitty chemo is not a burlap sack and a bridge?
 
  2012-05-16 11:49:42 AM  

SteamyRain: What's wrong with your cat?


He has cancer, so were going to do a round of chemotherapy and see if he response to it. If he does then will continue with the next four treatments. We decided as long as it is helping and did not effect his quality of life we would do it.
 
  2012-05-16 12:06:53 PM  
i guess i should admit that last year i paid $800 for my friend to get her cat a life saving operation

cat's still kicking

and i still don't care a damn about the cat
 
  2012-05-16 12:10:26 PM  
$1600 doggie operation last month. Call me stupid.
 
  2012-05-16 12:13:39 PM  
woah, thanks to your comment, and my googling for an appropriate picture, I just learned that in the theatrical release of The Jerk the dogs name was "shiathead" not "Stupid" as in the TV edit
 
  2012-05-16 12:21:01 PM  
Poor Abbie.

img.photobucket.com
 
  2012-05-16 12:31:31 PM  
Yikes what happened to your pup?
 
  2012-05-16 12:32:24 PM  
All said and done if we do all 5 treatments were looking at about 6K.
 
  2012-05-16 12:33:51 PM  
good.to.be.rich
 
  2012-05-16 12:36:09 PM  
Really digging the new John Mayer stuff. XRT radio in Chicago has his entire new album up for streaming on their site if anyone wants to hear.
Link
 
  2012-05-16 12:39:20 PM  
eh, they're just linking to the itunes site anyway, so head to itunes and stream it if you like.
 
  2012-05-16 12:45:12 PM  
2 tumors. One malignant. We are just doing the prednisone chemo. She should be ok. Old anyway. She is healed now. That 10 inch incision on the back leg was a biatch.

Had a friend with a rescue cat that spent 15k on it for surgery and chemo. 2 years later she died. Worth it to them.
 
  2012-05-16 12:46:24 PM  
Ruff, how was your vacation? Haven't seen any pics.
 
  2012-05-16 12:56:15 PM  

Jaxom: 2 tumors. One malignant. We are just doing the prednisone chemo. She should be ok. Old anyway. She is healed now. That 10 inch incision on the back leg was a biatch.

Had a friend with a rescue cat that spent 15k on it for surgery and chemo. 2 years later she died. Worth it to them.


Yeah cat has two tumors as well on ether side of his digestive track. Makes it so he can't hold down food. Cat went from 10 pounds to 7.5 that's a big difference. Been on prednisone for a few days now and has gained all most a pound. He is 11 years old and I will do what I can with in reason. Wife is going to be a wreck when he passes. I am certain will end up with another cat two seams to be a good number for our house.
 
  2012-05-16 01:02:09 PM  
Good luck with that ALUA. Hard to believe how attached you can get to these critters.
 
  2012-05-16 01:07:56 PM  
It was a decent vacation; didn't really find that Pura Vida everyone was spouting about. I should have spent more time at the resort relaxing. Pictures...ugh, when I can find the time to process them I'll get them up.
 
  2012-05-16 01:18:25 PM  

Jaxom: Good luck with that ALUA. Hard to believe how attached you can get to these critters.


Yeah it is.
 
  2012-05-16 01:22:22 PM  
First sign of health trouble my cat is going to be loaded into the cat cannon and shot off to the land of "no longer my house"
 
  2012-05-16 02:08:08 PM  

Jaxom: Good luck with that ALUA. Hard to believe how attached you can get to these critters.


I know what you mean. I sometimes have a hard time discarding the bone from a good pork chop.
 
  2012-05-16 02:10:15 PM  
marathon training is ahead of schedule, at least on the scale: assuming i peaked at just under 180#, i've lost approx. 6-7 so far already

no booze and working out makes medius a thin boy

well, will
 
  2012-05-16 02:12:39 PM  
ruf, Uruguay? how were the women?
 
  2012-05-16 02:20:32 PM  
Costa Rica knob.
 
  2012-05-16 02:21:58 PM  
whatever, how were the women?
 
  2012-05-16 02:22:49 PM  
oh yeah, I should host and post my PR pictures

didn't take any in Jamaica
 
  2012-05-16 02:23:28 PM  
I need to vicariously vacation through the pictures.
 
  2012-05-16 03:24:30 PM  
gotta love the internet, this is the way i imagine going to costa rica


NSFW!!!
 
  2012-05-16 04:31:30 PM  
Eh, I had a pretty nomadic vacation; I wasn't impressed greatly by the women I encountered - even the other tourists weren't too impressive. The Ticas seem to have the boomin' butts, though. I'm surprised more brothers don't vacay down there. My buddy Jermaine would have been in heaven.
 
  2012-05-16 05:28:58 PM  
What's a vacation?
 
  2012-05-16 05:37:29 PM  
you misspelled vagina
 
  2012-05-16 06:02:43 PM  
I've seen one of those recently.
 
  2012-05-16 06:37:36 PM  
Speaking of money for illness, forgive me, but just in case any of you haven't seen it...

A Farker Needs Our Help

Alan/dj4aces is good people.
 
  2012-05-16 08:03:55 PM  
I have 3 kittens that need new homes.
 
  2012-05-17 08:36:10 AM  

leftyblonde: I have 3 kittens that need new homes.


Nope.
I have 2 that are being eaten by somthing.
Slowly.
 
  2012-05-17 08:38:24 AM  
the sarlacc?
 
  2012-05-17 11:21:53 AM  
Chinese roommate.
 
  2012-05-17 04:36:10 PM  
and by 2 you mean two college girls right? Were they hooking at walmart?
 
  2012-05-17 05:54:48 PM  
Eddie must be in rehab again.
 
  2012-05-17 11:05:04 PM  
Some troll in the Jane Fonda thread is getting his panties in a wad.
My job is done her for the evening.
I have a 8AM meet with the executive VP form my company about ch-ch-ch-changes.
Long haul from being a Baguette cook to this day on Fark.

I'd hit it.
 
  2012-05-17 11:19:32 PM  
I wanna give a shout out to all my Fark nigs and nigettes.
Jyeah. You know how we do.
 
  2012-05-18 08:04:01 PM  
All these years, and aeons, and time travel still makes me puke.
 
  2012-05-19 11:17:43 AM  
Just weighed in at 169#. Of course, I just ran a half marathon, but I haven't seen that side of 170 since the last time I had food poisoning (and for the same reason: dehydration).

/water!
 
  2012-05-19 11:11:00 PM  
Beer. Home after being at a redneck wedding all day.
The bride's mother wore a backless, sequined, no, Rhinestoned black velvet uh... not an evening gown, more like a pile of gaudy crap, and and ankle monitor and open sores on her arms. The senile priest read from the book of 1980 US Census Bureau's statistics on marriage. The bride and groom's three children where in the wedding party. The VFW hall was awash with a buffet of quite firm new England style baked beans, ambrosia salad, veggie platters from the grocery store, and crock pots of mac and cheese, meatballs, and hotdogs. Oh, and one had elbow mac goulash in it. There was a tossed salad and a couple of bottles of dollar store ranch and Italian dressing. The band was my neighbor's, as it was his brother getting hitched. The bride's family was colorful. By colorful, I mean inked. Heavily.
Poorly. Oddly, I happened to run into an old acquaintance, who is a retired member of a Harley Davidson MC, and when I met him he always wore his chapter colors. That's why I almost didn't recognize him. He's the Uncle of the POS that married the prettiest little hillbilly of a woman-chile I ever had the experience of watching grow up, and move away. Surprisingly, he was in the bride's party and clean and sober. 25 years now. The bartender I tipped profusely and she had a heavy pour but facing that crowd, I felt a couple a few Tanqueray and Tonics at $10 a pop after tip was a bargain. The children were unparented, and the adults were surprisingly well behaved. Mostly because you couldn't drink outside, and you couldn't smoke inside. Rednecks tend to lose control when they already have two hands full. That's when they think they can grow and extra set of arms and kick ass with them.
I had a DD, so I had as many as I wanted. I ate light, because I wanted to strren clear of food poisoning, but still had an empty stomach when I cot there, so chips, crackers and cheese, some olives, and broccoli and over cooked meat sufficed.
If there really were fashion police out there, they would have called in a swat team. Why do the ugly, skanky looking chicks think a wedding is a slutwalk? *shivers*
Really fat? Wear this mini dress that shows off your luxurious cankles and the cellulite on your ample gams. SO skinny that crack whores think your anorexic? By all means, the third hand prom dress you got at the yard sale in the free bin at the creepy old transvestite's trailer will be a bold statement. Never mind those stains. It was free, sister, and you look mahvelous. Besides, it's polyester and will burn real good in the trash barrel out back once your biker boyfriend rips it off of you tonight while you do rough sex.
nttatwwt.

Anyway, I'm home. It's late.
And no one got punched, except some kids, so it was al in all a good wedding in the hills of Vermont.
 
  2012-05-20 07:00:14 AM  
what? no video on you tube?
 
  2012-05-20 07:07:04 AM  
Maybe Fb, later.
Maybe.
 
  2012-05-20 10:57:54 AM  
Maybe tits
 
  2012-05-20 05:41:32 PM  
I'm only here for the complimentary newspaper, and tits.
 
  2012-05-20 07:01:27 PM  
you do have a nice set
 
  2012-05-20 08:04:16 PM  
*Drives bye*......*crashes*...
 
  2012-05-20 10:31:04 PM  
We had memes at the reception, too.
We had a 8 month preggo smoking and biatching about construction noise.
We had mullets.
We had a guy who looked like a Game Of Thrones extra with a HD tee shirt on.
There was a huge retard, and I say this with clarity. He kid was in a tux, with a ball cap on, breathing through his mouth. He looked like Patrick from the Sponge Bob series.
There was one ugly chick with a moking hot body. A true butterface.
There was an Asian woman who looked smokin' hot, but had like three kids, and was peeling off her dress down to her cut off jeans, and ended up looking like any other chick riding a tractor.
There were tweens with too much make up, and fatties with 3 plates of food. Like I believe you filled those for the three infants you're nursing, and you just swap them out like a revolving trough.
There were cupcakes, and one grocery store "wedding" cake and cow bells.
Did I mention the cow bells?
Apparently, they found some plastic flatwear that was dipped to look like silverwear (yes, it was policed up for a dish washing after) so in order to cue the happy couple that we wanted to see them kiss (*shudders*) we had these little cowbells on the tables.
And tubes of bubble makers.
And sachets of candy.
And monogrammed match books.
And little plastic "crystals" like diamonds, and little plastic rings entwined, one plain and one with a plastic diamond shape.
It. Was. Hideous.
 
  2012-05-20 10:36:21 PM  
I still can't sleep.
You have no idea what it's like to have to go outside while the Beatles are butchered in multiple keys, and have a skinney moley, fetal alcohol syndromed construction flagger tell you "I. Just. Want. to. have One. Slow.dance. With . you."
While trying not to puke on your shoes, which you won't because you paid for those drinks. And by God, you are not going to spill them after you wolfed them down.

*Shudders*
The Horror.
 
  2012-05-20 10:45:31 PM  
Driving home, the kids are all cranked up on the candy, popping balloons in the back seat and blowing bubbles in the car.
They want to go swimming, because it's finally over 70o out, but the steams are still ice melt from the mountains, but the parents let them.
They go from rosy cheeks to blue lipped in 5 minutes.
Then they are cold and soggy, in their car seats, sticky from candy and still hopped up.
I want to run. But I can't. I have a DD and a 12 pack of beer in a cooler and I'm along for the ride.
The kids want to stop for creemees. Just what they need. Moar sugar. Sugar for the sugar gods.
Sugar for the pure energy of it. They are like sugar vampires. Zombies on adrenaline, begging for another fix. They are obliged. We wait for the crash. It never happens. Home, They want to hit the pool. The pool that was filled with spring water only yesterday. It's 65o in there but those little skinny bastards are junior Navy Faking Seals, and cranked on sugar and nothing is stopping them. They splash, in and out, and tramp coldly and wet through out the house, leaving grass clippings and mud in their wake. I'm happy not to be a breeder, but have a headache from the noise.
The clamor of the brood. They parade inside, grabbing handfuls of chips and shouting.
I want to kill.
 
  2012-05-20 10:47:01 PM  
/Brought to you by Trojan Brand condoms.
 
  2012-05-20 11:03:25 PM  
Nice...psycho..or some shiat.
 
  2012-05-20 11:04:22 PM  
/mashed obviously
 
  2012-05-21 12:47:17 AM  
Vudu's posts make my Sunday evening special.
 
  2012-05-21 06:11:30 AM  
LinkedIn has me spamming the world.

I just spammed myself.

/spambot
 
  2012-05-21 08:57:40 AM  
Hormel Foods Inc., the makers of Spam, resent the implication, and the ongoing association of their wholesome food product with the epidemic of unsolicited commercial emails, even though it be in name only. Having some amount of internet savvy, they realize that a simple Cease and Desist will result in the generation of much negative publicity. To wit, they have decided to discontinue the manufacture of their pork-based products (Spam) and will instead begin the manufacture of wholesome food products based upon other meats. Soon, on your grocer's shelves, you will be able to find:

Speef
Spurkey
Sprimp
Sprab
Spobster
Spofu (for the health-conscious)
Spepperoni
Spalami
Spologna
Spalmon
Spalibut
Spausage
Spacon (this should be interesting)
Spatback
Spicken
 
  2012-05-21 01:15:50 PM  
lol

BLAH!
 
  2012-05-21 03:00:47 PM  
so the owner paid $700K for this boat and is selling it for $200K....now that (to me) is a MAJOR farking.


pops:
 
  2012-05-21 04:07:37 PM  
You know if someone could just come up with reliable penis enlargement...
 
  2012-05-21 04:22:58 PM  

knobglobbler55: so the owner paid $700K for this boat and is selling it for $200K....now that (to me) is a MAJOR farking.


pops:


Welcome to the wonderful world of boating.
 
  2012-05-21 04:49:06 PM  
what good would a bigger penis do me? there would just be more of me to fail

/wah-wah
 
  2012-05-21 05:29:38 PM  
Bought any decent watches lately Jax?
 
  2012-05-21 05:45:23 PM  
you can WATCH THIS RIGHT 'ERE!

ay! oh!
 
  2012-05-21 07:02:23 PM  

HAMMERTOE:
Speef
Spurkey
Sprimp
Sprab
Spobster
Spofu (for the health-conscious)
Spepperoni
Spalami
Spologna
Spalmon
Spalibut
Spausage
Spacon (this should be interesting)
Spatback
Spicken


What, no Spcrapple?
 
  2012-05-21 07:03:04 PM  
Wait, I think I spy what their astute marketing team did already.
 
  2012-05-21 07:22:00 PM  

czmilosz: Bought any decent watches lately Jax?


Well, since you asked.

img.photobucket.com
 
  2012-05-21 07:35:35 PM  
oyster, eh?

a shucker born every minute
 
  2012-05-21 09:44:56 PM  

HAMMERTOE: Soon, on your grocer's shelves, you will be able to find:


You forgot "Spuck"
 
  2012-05-21 09:45:47 PM  
and Spiver
 
  2012-05-22 06:47:55 AM  
And Spead Cheese
 
  2012-05-22 08:08:40 AM  
that's a cool watch
 
  2012-05-22 09:20:14 AM  
and sperm
 
  2012-05-22 09:55:43 AM  
oh yeah, this is why i don't drink anymore

/day 0
 
  2012-05-22 10:44:25 AM  
Spunt?
Spoobies!
 
  2012-05-22 10:52:07 AM  
spick
 
  2012-05-22 10:52:44 AM  
spurt post
 
  2012-05-22 11:46:26 AM  

Jaxom: knobglobbler55: so the owner paid $700K for this boat and is selling it for $200K....now that (to me) is a MAJOR farking.
pops:
Welcome to the wonderful world of boating.


I took Thurs off, all these big old ships are gonna be docked in town, take the bike and mrs and check 'em out.

op sail
 
  2012-05-22 11:59:39 AM  
Now that is cool knob. All the depreciation is gone from those ships.
 
  2012-05-22 12:08:37 PM  
They usually have something like that here in Chicago, too. But I don't see a schedule. I know they usually have 2 or 3 that around most of the summer. Are you going to sail on any of them Knob? Or do they only do the docked tour of the boats?
 
  2012-05-22 12:13:12 PM  
free tours of the docked ships but they're all over the place, Brooklyn, Manhattan and SI piers...so I guess that means drinking/eating in many different bars
 
  2012-05-22 12:22:04 PM  
there's a video of some of the crew climbing to the top of the mast, the frigging boat looks tiny from up there and in high seas, yeah right...definitely a job for a special type of person
 
  2012-05-22 12:29:09 PM  
take your matches
 
  2012-05-22 02:08:58 PM  

knobglobbler55: there's a video of some of the crew climbing to the top of the mast, the frigging boat looks tiny from up there and in high seas, yeah right...definitely a job for a special type of person


Send the monkey up.
 
  2012-05-22 02:13:35 PM  
i'm a great alcoholic

i ain't good for much else

it's a full time yob
 
  2012-05-22 03:55:02 PM  
I think I saved my neighbor's Brother and wife some money on software.
They have 2 teenagers and wanted to know, more like constantly bug me about what net nanny to install. Like their excellent parenting skills (snerk) aren't quite going to work on keeping the teens off (2 boys) the bad sites. I told the kids their parents had sex to have them. ANd they were all Nuh-uh. And I'm Like oh yeah they did. It was loud, and dirty, and very nasty, but that is where you came from. No way, they say. I'm like You don't hav to believe me, you can ask anyone who was there that night, both times.
In fact, I know for a fact that so and so filmed it and it's up on the internet somewhere.
So don't go looking for porn or you'll find those videos and you don't want you parents walking in on you fapping to that. You'll ALL be in therapy after that.
They were very quiet for the rest of the evening. Never once asked to use the computer like the normally do. In fact, they went outside and played.
 
  2012-05-22 04:04:06 PM  
606001
 
  2012-05-22 04:23:00 PM  
606000
What do I nyugen?
 
  2012-05-22 04:23:06 PM  

vudukungfu: I think I saved my neighbor's Brother and wife some money on software...


Niiiiice.

So make with the link already.
 
  2012-05-22 04:38:17 PM  

HAMMERTOE:
So make with the link already.



I was bluffing them to gross the out.
Besides, she's a whale beast.
You know the old saying "making the beast with two backs?"
Add two chins, a dunlop, and a gunt to the equation, times the backfat, and carry the cankles over his shoulders.
 
  2012-05-23 06:32:12 AM  
No way could I fap to that. Hell, even my fingers have gone flaccid.
 
  2012-05-23 10:33:19 AM  
some people say that there's a woman to blame, but i know...
 
  2012-05-23 01:08:04 PM  
i don't exactly recall my long journey home, but considering i was drinking at 83rd street last, i imagine it took 2 hours

oh, the pain, the pain
 
  2012-05-23 01:10:21 PM  
i can still taste the gin and olives from the martinis

booze sucks
sobriety rocks
 
  2012-05-23 01:23:22 PM  
Gin is devil's piss
 
  2012-05-23 01:23:28 PM  
You colony bastards with your DISTRICTS and LOTS are getting on my nerves....

13 headaches.
 
  2012-05-23 01:25:20 PM  
Mr. All or Nothing
 
  2012-05-23 01:27:27 PM  
The wagon or the river
 
  2012-05-23 02:10:17 PM  
"one drink is too much and a hundred isn't enough"
 
  2012-05-23 05:48:34 PM  
a hundred what?

I need a new job people, what would I be good at?

be mean, be real mean.
 
  2012-05-23 09:01:27 PM  
pool boy?
 
  2012-05-23 10:06:34 PM  
Assistant to the apprentice key grip on the fluffer crew at a bukkaki shoot.
/Ow!
//My eye!
 
  2012-05-24 12:28:53 AM  
thank you, come again
 
  2012-05-24 08:09:42 AM  
here you go Link
 
  2012-05-24 09:37:56 AM  
Penis wrangler.
 
  2012-05-24 12:58:12 PM  
i prefer my penis levi's
 
  2012-05-24 01:09:52 PM  
Extra mayo for those nuggets?
 
  2012-05-24 02:21:17 PM  
Who thought "White House | Black Market" was a good name for a business?
 
  2012-05-24 02:57:30 PM  
I blame OJ
 
  2012-05-24 03:06:20 PM  
White Bronco | Black Bill
 
  2012-05-24 04:47:30 PM  
They have cute-ish clothes.
 
  2012-05-24 05:06:28 PM  
Steamy, nice to see you here. Was turning into the meds and vudu show. Got a vaca planned?
 
  2012-05-24 05:14:27 PM  
show and tell...i forgot how the rest of the song goes, but subby's mom's a whore
 
  2012-05-24 05:15:15 PM  
I should have gone with White Bronco | Black Heart rather than relying on anyone to remember that OJ played for the Bills.
 
  2012-05-24 05:18:47 PM  
I larffed at the bills
 
  2012-05-24 05:48:25 PM  
I really only feel the kick in the balls on holidays. That's when I get to come in to work while the rest of these A-holes get a paid day off...

Otherwise it feels like the same ol bullshiat...

gots to find another gig, god damnit
 
  2012-05-24 07:09:21 PM  
People called me all day with ledger issues.
I farked up this ledger in 2007 and NOW it's an issue. It's CRITICELS!!

Hey, lady, when they hired you back in 1965, you were well qualified to be the bookkeeper. You had great gams then. Nowadays, we have accounting software. Now I'm not an accountant, hell, I don't even have a GED in CPA but it's as clear as beer piss thta you farked this up. Repeatedly. Daily. Monthly. Yearly. And it's not an accounting issue. It's a you aren't a bookkeeper any more than I'm Kareem farking Abdul Jamar here, but let me see if I can refarkulate it so you at least look like you got strapped into Morpheus' construct academy and suddenly know accounting.

Twenty hundred clicks later, leaving a path that would leave an FBI accountant scratching his head, "Oh, that's what the balance should look like" she says.
Fine.

"Now can you help me write off the security deposit to noncollectable, because we don't want that on the prepay report, and the lady died.

*face palm*
 
  2012-05-24 09:21:55 PM  
Also, who do I have to BIE to get a greenlight around here?
I've never seen such a streak of redlights, except for all of my first dates in the last 20 years.
/Bad dum - tish.
//Try the veal.
///I'll be here all century.
 
wib
  2012-05-25 01:08:59 AM  
Well. I for one am looking forward to this weekend. Doing some training tomorrow and then hasta. Gonna do one of those crazy ultrasounds where you see the face.
 
  2012-05-25 04:25:00 AM  
I don't has your number...
 
  2012-05-25 04:26:02 AM  
James, can I call you?
 
  2012-05-25 09:53:27 AM  
Sex Machine?
 
  2012-05-25 10:23:28 AM  
I'm going to do something the week of the fourth. Don't know what yet, though.
 
  2012-05-25 10:24:15 AM  
drink
 
  2012-05-25 10:32:33 AM  
go bowling and eat spiced meats
 
  2012-05-25 12:03:26 PM  
I'll drink, but I want to drink someplace awesome.
 
  2012-05-25 12:26:09 PM  
hmm, try Hooters
 
  2012-05-25 12:34:42 PM  
Done that. Butterfaces and it smelled like vomit.
 
  2012-05-25 12:39:59 PM  
I bet Hell is being the cleaning staff at a Buffalo Wild Wings...
 
  2012-05-25 01:18:36 PM  
wow it's a Friday before a 3 day weekend and this place is...
 
  2012-05-25 02:51:17 PM  
people don't seem to want to leave me to my hermitdom

but it was getting so comfortable
 
  2012-05-25 03:01:19 PM  
They should pipe some Shakespeares Sister into the office. That would be nice...
 
  2012-05-25 09:57:05 PM  

leftyblonde: I don't has your number...


I'm nerver home

I'm out to a party jam session all weekend.
Gonna hit and run on the internet a bit but mostly gonna be drinkin, playing guitar, and cookin.
 
  2012-05-26 02:17:28 AM  
Call me. I may answer. or some crap.
 
  2012-05-26 04:43:49 AM  
you still have my number, lefty?
 
  2012-05-26 11:03:09 PM  
If I don't hear a live version of Freebird this weekend, I'll be damn disappointed.
 
  2012-05-27 12:02:13 PM  
Off to complete the building of the deck around the pool, Pt. II.
Had to be stong enough to hold 2 adults, and one Patrick star mouthbeathing food inhaling
jack ass of a neighbor's nephew.
Hopefully, we will find that food abuser face down and blue.
soon.
 
  2012-05-27 04:10:23 PM  
I broke my phone.
 
  2012-05-28 09:47:40 AM  

leftyblonde: I broke my phone.


I was the only farker to use 'Whazzup, artichoke?' on the non sequitur thread. Make me a badge. That is all.
/Non-sequitur
 
  2012-05-28 10:47:05 AM  
I am the only one in the building.

Feels like I am working during the zombie apocalypse...
 
  2012-05-28 11:23:54 AM  
I'm the badge maker now?

/didn't get the memo.
 
  2012-05-28 02:56:48 PM  
no no badgers, you breed badgers...
 
  2012-05-28 03:01:31 PM  
Don't badger me, woman.

/Badger badger badger badger.
 
  2012-05-28 04:15:17 PM  
leftyblonde don't make badges? Double non sequitur explosion.
 
  2012-05-28 10:00:01 PM  
batches of badger badges?
 
  2012-05-28 10:56:17 PM  

leftyblonde: I'm the badge maker now?

/didn't get the memo.


badge maker badge maker make me a badge.
Make it from garbage or make it from scratch.
Brown paper packages tied up in strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
 
  2012-05-29 07:00:39 AM  
Knob, my powers grow :) Now learning how to thrash off road.

img.photobucket.com
 
  2012-05-29 07:06:16 AM  
Picked up a YZ450R on Friday it also has a big bore kit. Need to add a couple things to it and buy gear. Need boots, helmet, goggles and a chest protector. Been 20 years sense I have been on a dirt bike, hope I don't kill myself.

Pissed the Wiffy off just a bit, sense we epoxied the garage floor and can't park anything on it, well in till it has fully cured. I put my race bike and dirt bike in the house :).
 
  2012-05-29 08:05:05 AM  
looks like fun, be careful
 
  2012-05-29 09:29:48 AM  

knobglobbler55: looks like fun, be careful


Yeah was pretty cheap it's a 2005. I road dirt bikes when I was a kid but that was a long time ago. This should be like learning how all over again.
 
  2012-05-29 09:54:23 AM  
Please buy or build a ring of fire to jump through.
 
  2012-05-29 10:11:38 AM  

TheNewJesus: Please buy or build a ring of fire to jump through.


hummmmm
 
  2012-05-29 10:44:08 AM  
for the fourth of July, kids in the neighborhood would love it, maybe highlight it with some sparklers or something, mount roman candles to your helmet...

I wonder if I could make a living doing that???
 
  2012-05-29 10:45:31 AM  
I just found my new career path!

do they sell flammable underpants?
 
  2012-05-29 11:12:12 AM  
my friend's kid used to jump them things, 30 feet in the air...he crashed and broke both his feet, got addicted to Oxycontin, went to rehab...got un-addicted
 
  2012-05-29 11:25:34 AM  
so it beats a cube farm
 
  2012-05-29 12:16:59 PM  

TheNewJesus: so it beats a cube farm


What doesn't?
 
  2012-05-29 12:18:09 PM  
Close family friend used to race those on a small circuit until some other guy hit him and shattered his leg.
 
  2012-05-29 12:29:53 PM  
Oxycodine is for pussies.
If you can't hand;e the pain of a broken foot, don't get on a 2 wheeler.
 
  2012-05-29 02:10:29 PM  
Portillo's chocolate shakes are heaven in a styrofoam cup.
 
  2012-05-29 02:13:16 PM  
Did anyone else read that as seamen in a styrofoam cup?

Everyone? Really?
 
  2012-05-29 02:58:34 PM  
And to double the pleasure you should let 2 girls eat that 1 shake!
 
  2012-05-29 04:38:45 PM  
I am never going to "warm up" if this place stays so dead...
 
  2012-05-29 04:42:42 PM  
you can fap to this?
 
  2012-05-29 07:41:21 PM  
Whar Michigan party whar?
 
  2012-05-29 09:44:33 PM  

TravelingFreakshow: Whar Michigan party whar?


In Texas?
 
  2012-05-30 01:25:45 AM  
the gal from Drop Dead Diva looks like she smells down there.
 
  2012-05-30 10:13:06 AM  
So someone threw a bag of smelly ass crab legs in our yard yesterday. While we were walking the dog we discovered a double ended dildo that someone had thrown out their car window.

So all in all a pretty interesting day...
 
  2012-05-30 10:30:19 AM  
It was the same person.
 
  2012-05-30 11:56:41 AM  
oh god
 
  2012-05-30 12:44:20 PM  
My only question is, How did rufie find out where I live?
 
  2012-05-30 01:51:31 PM  

TheNewJesus: My only question is, How did rufie find out where I live?


The smell?
 
  2012-05-30 02:01:39 PM  
That wasn't really a dildo, it was a Dong Ninja diving rod
 
  2012-05-30 02:42:05 PM  
craps in kansas, oh my!
 
  2012-05-30 02:49:42 PM  
I guess Lynyrd Skynyrd was right on the money
 
  2012-05-30 07:18:43 PM  
I've been saving this thread until school is out...good reading. Vudu's description of the hillbilly wedding was first rate. I really would like to see the pictures.
 
  2012-05-30 08:40:20 PM  

bessyglass: I've been saving this thread until school is out...good reading. Vudu's description of the hillbilly wedding was first rate. I really would like to see the pictures.


People of wall mart dot com will have to suffice.
 
  2012-05-31 07:40:29 AM  
I just spilt coffee on my crotch!
Damn that's rather hot!
And I stayed up far too late
But my profile looks great.
 
  2012-05-31 08:24:10 AM  
if you says so.
 
  2012-05-31 09:22:17 AM  

A Non Amos: I just spilt coffee on my crotch!
Damn that's rather hot!
And I stayed up far too late
But my profile looks great.


*clicks profile*

*reads*

O_o

Dude, WFT are you on?
 
  2012-05-31 09:43:15 AM  
baseball sucks, and the old white men that still enjoy it are deluded with nostalgia

just had to say it
 
  2012-05-31 02:46:08 PM  

vudukungfu: Dude, WFT are you on?


I think he prints 4chan pages and smokes them.
 
  2012-05-31 05:52:42 PM  
I ain't on anything, I swear! I'm just high on life. Furthermore: I as sure as Fark shall not be a liter.

But, LOL, vudukungfu, I choked on my protein shake reading that. I was thinking of upping the WTF value of my bio a little. Should I?
 
  2012-05-31 05:57:20 PM  
ALSO: I felt sorry for any intellectual weaklings who succumbed to the truly impressive and factual defensive strategems of the Constantly Evolving Riot Squad, those folks who support evolution with bravado and diss Christianity with spite.

*Bows.*

Good job to the all of you, but if you want to play hardball, I'm a Follower of Jesus for a reason. Long live Safe For Work Articles! Long live Good, Clean, Farking Hilarious Comments!
 
  2012-05-31 05:59:34 PM  
I'm ODing on motherfarking life right now.
 
  2012-05-31 05:59:51 PM  
AND LEST I FORGET: I love BIG TEXT, SQUASHED BEANS, DRAGONS AND ALL THINGS FANTASY, AND WOLVES, BUT NOT IN A GAY SENSE
 
  2012-05-31 06:03:02 PM  
Medius, thanks to you, I have no choice but to enhance the WTF of my bio to trump yours. Although I don't doubt someone has more WTF points than either of us.
 
  2012-05-31 06:08:19 PM  
wtf do eye care?
 
  2012-05-31 06:10:03 PM  
I take it back! No, Farking way could I trump you! Medius, you are the craziest WTFarker I know.
 
  2012-05-31 08:13:03 PM  

A Non Amos: I take it back! No, Farking way could I trump you! Medius, you are the craziest WTFarker I know.


Rob Graves is back.
 
  2012-05-31 08:14:01 PM  
or meow said the cat scan
 
  2012-05-31 08:14:45 PM  

TheNewJesus: baseball sucks, and the old white men that still enjoy it are deluded with nostalgia

just had to say it


righteous
 
  2012-05-31 08:16:20 PM  

medius: I'm ODing on motherfarking life right now.


Don't bogart that joint
my friend
pass it over to me
If you're high on life
you're not smoking it right
pass that joint over to me
 
  2012-06-01 08:31:07 AM  
Oh no, no, no, I don't smoke it no more.
I'm tired of waking up on the floor.
No thank you, please. It only makes me sneeze.
And then it makes it hard to find the door.
 
  2012-06-01 09:21:57 AM  
Longtime co-worker had to go into the hospital the other day, he's been fighting sickness for a few months. Turns out to be the big C. So shiatty.
 
  2012-06-01 09:28:24 AM  
That really sucks. I'm beginning to suspect your workplace has superbad vibes. Built on top of an old Indian burial ground perhaps?
 
  2012-06-01 09:38:29 AM  
They never moved the bodies?
 
  2012-06-01 11:50:40 AM  
Does Craig T. Nelson work in your building?
 
  2012-06-01 01:21:32 PM  
AMPIPE!
 
  2012-06-01 01:43:03 PM  
If I had a big cock I would be thrilled. I still don't understand why that would make him sick...



I'm kidding sorry man that sucks...
 
  2012-06-01 04:58:31 PM  
i'm sure you can find a big cock tonight if you need one
 
  2012-06-01 05:05:13 PM  
All the big cocks in his area are in JOCO
 
  2012-06-02 12:07:05 AM  
I am not the new dude. Sorry.
 
  2012-06-02 12:39:08 PM  
It wasn't me.
 
  2012-06-02 01:30:53 PM  
Aww,the first blue balls of a fawning relationship. Must mean the end of spring.
 
  2012-06-02 01:57:15 PM  
Owowow.
 
  2012-06-02 02:37:09 PM  

medius: Owowow.


What is the sound he makes when someone clothespins his testicles?
 
  2012-06-02 08:58:12 PM  
b>Smeggy Smurf: A Non Amos: Here in Arkansas, alcohol sales are prohibited on Sundays. I've always thought that was a bit weird. The Bible doesn't specifically rally against alcohol, and Jesus drank wine. Still, some church denominations treat alcohol use like a mortal sin.

Jesus shacked up with a whore, drank wine, vandalized temples, assaulted public officials, spread heresy, ran around with smelly old fishermen and a guy that was naked except for a furry bit of rags, partied so hard that we're still talking about it 2,000 years later and was executed for disturbing the peace.

Tell that to a fundie and watch them have a meltdown. Then offer them some wine.


The vista of perspective, then. Imagine a bucket of water: to an ant it is a vast ocean, to an elephant it is a cool drink, and to you it is a bucket of water. Did you read the Biblical passages before making your comment? I can understand if you'd rather not wish to; it was very difficult for me to read Darwin's Origin of the Species and assorted books upon diverse evolutionary and atheist topics. I will, then, politely comment in a logical manner:

'shacked up with a whore': Uncertain of slang terminology. May refer to the passage in Luke's gospel where an 'immoral women' cleans Jesus' feet with her hair and expensive perfume. To a Christian scholar the implication is obvious: (a) Jesus excepted sinners, instead of rejecting them as now occurs, and (b) no matter the depths of 'sin', or unethical and illogical behavior, one can approach Jesus without fear of rejection.

'drank wine': Absolutely. Alcohol, in moderation, is an enjoyable beverage and was one of the only beverage choices aside from water available to Middle-Eastern cultures in that era. Furthermore, it serviced as a symbol of the blood which was shed by Jesus for us, insofar as the injuries he sustained at Calvary were enough to cause blood to drip off of his body.

'vandalized temples' and 'assaulted public officials', Yes, indeed: he drove price manipulation out of a Jewish temple. Sacrificial animals were being sold for an exorbitant price, and one couldn't use their own at that temple. It was within his right as a rabbi to drive them away inasmuch as a modern Church has the right to evict dissenters, gossipers, or any committing an illegal act, inasmuch as it is within the right of any given business, non-profit entity, residential entity, military entity, or government entity to evict and/ or ban those guilty of an illegal act or trespass, or seek police intervention.

'spread heresy': Called himself the 'son of God', in accordance with prophecy, and was rejected by those who should have recognized him as their savior- the Jewish leaders- in accordance with prophesy.

As for the rest, that is only supplementary evaluatory evidence that Jesus was, indeed, a perfect person; irregardless of the condition or mannerism of his company, he accepted them as disciples. Any and every person may so choose to follow the way Jesus set down, no matter how awful their life is and was. And Jesus wasn't afraid of raucous social gatherings; the publicity would draw vast, curious multitudes who could then be taught the message of the law, and the new law set down by Jesus.

'arrested for disturbing the peace': That is quite the understatement! Many people despised Jesus and wanted to kill him because he seemed to be a heretic, and went against the grain of society. In fact, that he was so kind with outcasts, immoral people, and rejects caused him to be hated all the more.
 
  2012-06-02 08:59:59 PM