Happy Birthday, may your evenings be well scented.

what's the rush?

all solemn events should be observed

today, let's also take a moment of silence to observe the following:

Fresh Spinach Day

Popeye the Sailor, the animated and humorous hero first found in a King Features comic strip, always ate spinach to increase his strength.

July 16th is Fresh Spinach Day, a midsummer occasion when anyone can participate in consuming extra helpings of the vitamin-rich leafy food staple.

International Juggling Day

Do you ever feel like a juggler, spinning plates overhead or tossing too many balls into the air at one time?

International Juggling Day is July 16th. No one can seem to get a handle on the origins of this unusual holiday, but it somehow seems well worth the challenge. Literally or figuratively, how much can you juggle at once?

National Corn Fritters Day

Baked or fried, corn fritters are a traditional starch snack in many regions of the United States. July 16th is National Corn Fritters Day in America.

Don't fritter the day away on July 16th.

Why not share your favorite corn fritters recipe on July 16th? Better yet, bake up a batch of corn fritters, and pass them around to celebrate National Corn Fritters Day on July 16th.

National Hot Dog Day

Hot dogs may the most popular picnic treat for Americans, particularly American sports fans. July 16th is National Hot Dog Day. Boil a bunch of hot dogs, toss some frankfurters on the barbecue grill, or stick a few wieners on some skewers over an open campfire on July 16th. It's National Hot Dog Day.

Special Saints Days (Various)

The Calendar of the Saints lists the following for July 16th: Ambrosio Francisco Ferro, Andre de Soveral, Athenogenes, Bartholomeo Fernandez dos Martires, Carmen, Domnio, Eustathius, Faustus, Fulrad, Generosus, Helier, Irmengard, Marie Madeline Postel, Marie Saint Henry, Martyrs of Brazil, Our Lady of Mount Carmel, Reineldis, Tenenan, Valentine of Treves, Vitalian of Capua and Vitalian of Osimo.

Notable Anniversaries on July 16th:

British King Henry VI banned kissing in England on July 16, 1439, aiming to prevent the spread of a dreaded plague known as the Great Pestilence.

On July 16, 1790, the United States Congress established the District of Columbia, which became known as Washington, D.C., the nation's Capitol.

The first automatic parking meters in America were placed on the streets of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, on July 16, 1935.

Various Other July 16th Holidays

July 16th is also Atomic Bomb Day, Blooms Day (Ireland), Blueberry Festival Day, Chhelum Day (Pakistan), Fairies' Petal-Hopping for Non-Starters Day, Feast of Our Lady of Mr. Carmel, Festival of Convivial Tools, Ice Cream Day, International Day of the African Child , La Paz Day (Bolivia), Rembrandt Day, St. Carmine's Day (Naples, Italy), St. Eustathius' Day, St. Helier's Day, Ukraine Independence Day (1990) and Youth Day (South Africa).

these old browsers at work, that I can't update, hate New Fark 2.1

I just gotta say, I thought govt. employees around here didn't give a damn. My god man govt employees in the south do not give a shiat and they are proud of it.

Am I going to have to farking drive to each god damned courthouse and berate these people into doing their god damn jobs?

stop the hatin'

Yea fark that, I have run into two types while calling 'Bama. They are either dumb as shiat or rude as fark. No wonder that state is an s-hole.

maybe you're projecting, flatlander

wait, missouri is in the south--midwest, my ass!

...but is it flat? (like my ass)

NOT THE SOUTH!?! WHAT COLOR WHERE THE farkING UNIFORMS 150 YEARS AGO?!?

i meant wear the uniforms, obviously

...ware?

I haven't been a govt employee since 2009

I went private
then got laid off
then submitted to unemployed hell for 8 months
then got hired back at the same company as a contractor, for much less

So yea good times.

And I am in Kansas, jackass. Less ozarks and more anti-gay than MO.

Which I am not inclined to agree with, not that there is anything wrong with that.

But seriously I have had to make a lot of these types of calls/request to a lot of states and by far Alabama wins the govt. employee d-bag award...

Believe it or not Texas was one of the easiest and I was not expecting that...

not that you people care, sorry for clogging up the pipe with my venting B.S.

oh, kansas was blue

not the south

i've done a surprisingly good job not venting about my shiat lately

guess it's taken up too much of my time

i mean here

i still vent on gmail, gchat, facebook and at bars

woman is farking wrecking me, though

not the one i went on a date with

and i have vented here too, just not lately

medius: and i have vented here too, just not lately

y U in the big dick thread?

i farked a gerbil this weekend

made my half-inch cock feel huge

Still couldn't hit the G(erbil) spot huh?

i keep farting from my ass

knobglobbler55: hammer u get that bike working?

Alas, no. $1100 for a new rear diff.

HAMMERTOE: knobglobbler55: hammer u get that bike working?

Alas, no. $1100 for a new rear diff.

I'm not using mine. What will you give me for it?

Got a prepaid Amex worth $70 as a rebate for buying new tires. Gonna go to the hardware store and pick up a tent and a camp stove for the weekend. Already hit the liquor store for the essentials. Family reunion should be wild, as usual. Been brushing up on my Mandarin and Spanish, but this new Jive is hard. I'll just sit back and watch the darker members of the clan belittle the wigger niece with the Nepalese prayer tat on her neck until I pee myself.

HAMMERTOE: knobglobbler55: hammer u get that bike working?

Alas, no. $1100 for a new rear diff.

so it's basically a large paper weight? wadda gonna do with it?

ooh, 5 sixes

nice post, knob

i'm getting 666666!

knobglobbler55: so it's basically a large paper weight? wadda gonna do with it?

I have no idea. It's got a Vance & Hines slash-cut exhaust & a K&V intake system/ jet kit. Unfortunately, it's also 12 years old, with well over 40,000 miles, 28,000 of which I am responsible for. I'd love to find another rear end to put on it, but it's at the stage now where it's just one problem after another. I'll be much better off just buying a new bike. I suspect it was mistreated by the kid I bought it from. During my tinkering on the carbs, I found that one of the carb bodies had been cracked in half diagonally and "J-B Weld"-ed back together, as if it had been hurled across somebody's garage in anger. Considering how difficult the jet kit was to get tuned properly, I can easily see that happening. The valves are prone to rattling when the engine gets hot. It leaks like a Harley with an attitude and vibrates itself loose also.

vudukungfu: I'm not using mine. What will you give me for it?

What is it? I remember you posting about buying an older bike.

I think I'm going to part this one out on Ebay. From what I've seen, I can easily make $2000 off of it.

older bikes are cool if you like tinkering ( i don't so much)

Me either. I want to get on and ride. My next will probably be in the 1000 - 1300 cc range.

HAMMERTOE:
What is it? I remember you posting about buying an older bike.

Yamaha. 650 Maxim. No kick start. Shaft drive. 80 or 81.

Death traps. You should get one of those old man scooters hammer.

Jax has one of them high end Rascals

An FPF pageant?

Speaking of high-end Rascals, I was thinking about a Harley. Something blacked out.

i don't think u could go wrong with any new bike out there...there's something hot for every type of taste

Jaxom: Hammertime

Do not want. is it even possible to maintain any sense of composure on a scooter?

replace your weed wacker head with a wheel

get on a skateboard

BOOM

those scooters would be a great way to get around if you lived in Greenwich village..you'd eventually get creamed if you had to take highways

I"ve actually thought of buying one for the beach place. 35 mph speed limit on the island.

HAMMERTOE: Jaxom: Hammertime

Do not want. is it even possible to maintain any sense of composure on a scooter?

Scooters and fat chicks. Both fun to ride but you don't want your friends to see you doing it.

As I recall, scooters have a lethal tendency to oversteer because of the lack of gyroscopic force inherent in training wheels.