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(AP)   Ninety-year-old lotto winner chooses lump-sum payment   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

8512 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2003 at 2:12 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

47 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-06-04 11:25:21 AM  
Lump sum is $10 million: just about enough to pay his prescriptions for three months.
2003-06-04 11:28:49 AM  
For those tired of Jailarity, hilarity and surrenderss cliches... here's a spin for this story:

Anna Nicole Smith ensues.

Good night.
2003-06-04 12:43:19 PM  
HMOs surrender
2003-06-04 02:16:50 PM  
Wise choice
2003-06-04 02:18:12 PM  
Asks if he can get the money by thursday. Plans on spending it by Friday. Forgets he has it by Saturday. Feeling lucky once again, goes out and buys milk with a 2 week experation date on Sunday. On Monday, we find the milk will out live him.
2003-06-04 02:18:54 PM  
Great use of obvious tag.
2003-06-04 02:19:40 PM  
He's just going to blow it on hookers and Matlock DVD's.
2003-06-04 02:19:49 PM  
Great use of obvious tag.

Because we just don't get enough at Fark!
2003-06-04 02:20:29 PM  
Why do lottery winners tend to be retirees? Is it a gov't scam?
2003-06-04 02:21:06 PM  

that was funny.
2003-06-04 02:21:19 PM  
Good for him. Can't you just see the envious sneers of the Winn-Dixie baggers?
2003-06-04 02:22:03 PM  

What a goofy looking guy.

My apologies, I just felt I had to do it.
2003-06-04 02:22:21 PM  
Oy! Dammit - why can't my last name be Salazaar?
2003-06-04 02:22:44 PM  
Sorry for that post. It got screwed up
2003-06-04 02:23:14 PM  
i have a "lump sum"......IN MY PANTS
2003-06-04 02:24:24 PM  
06-04-03 02:20:29 PM To_be_determined

Why do lottery winners tend to be retirees? Is it a gov't scam?

Well up here PA they do say the "lottery benefits older Pennsylvanians"...
2003-06-04 02:24:51 PM  
The lottery folks'll pay dearly.
'Cause this guy was sure thinking clearly.
He wants all his cash
In a big solid stash,
He wouldn't survive for the yearly.
2003-06-04 02:25:34 PM  
LOL you said it Apeman
2003-06-04 02:26:35 PM  
i live in florida, and i tell you, you NEVER see a young couple winning big in the lotto. it is ALWAYS some old fart who is about to croak.

it is some sort of consperiecy. im serious. I think they state know when old farts buy lotto tickets, and lets them win because they know they will never live long enough to enjoy it all.

2003-06-04 02:26:49 PM  
He might as well blow it on hookers he'll have a smile on his face till the day he dies, plus he'll get the AARP discount
2003-06-04 02:30:56 PM  
ahhh theres the rhyming MaxxLarge,
whose words give farkers a charge.
they missed him sorely,
so they tried to rhyme in his place rather poorly.......

had to jump on the bandwagon.
2003-06-04 02:37:01 PM  
The limerick thing is getting old folks. Unless you have a great about the "Man from Nantucket" or can become A LOT wittier, give it a break please.

I know, I need to lighten the F up. Ignore above comment, rhyme on.
2003-06-04 02:38:40 PM  

Please no, you'll just encourage him. :)
2003-06-04 02:40:39 PM  
There was an old lottery winner
Who might not make it 'til dinner
I'll take my payment in cash
Before they turn me to ash
Coz' most of my life, I was a sinner
2003-06-04 02:42:58 PM  
I thought it was [image from too old to be available] when an old man wins the lottery? Right Alanis? Right?
2003-06-04 02:43:18 PM  
Great, Rhymearity is ensuing.
2003-06-04 02:44:12 PM  
All joking, and poetry, aside:

If you or anyone you know wins the lottery tell them to take the lump sum (even if they're not 90). Invest it, and in 20 years you'll have a lot more than that jackpot.
2003-06-04 02:44:50 PM  
Imagine all the rafts his family can build with that money...
2003-06-04 02:46:09 PM  
LOL! sorry ApeMan. i think though its more the other way around, after seeing so much rhyming, i just can't help myself!!!!
2003-06-04 02:47:04 PM  
jeebus, i wish ensuing would stop ensuing.
2003-06-04 02:48:02 PM  
Think of all the Zombie Movies he can make with that money!!!
2003-06-04 02:48:04 PM  
If you or anyone you know wins the lottery tell them to take the lump sum (even if they're not 90). Invest it, and in 20 years you'll have a lot more than that jackpot.

If you or anyone you know wins the lottery tell them to give me some!!
2003-06-04 02:48:56 PM  
Do you wonder how the old codger spends
all those sweet lottery dividends?
When asked where he'll blow
all that lottery dough,
His one-word reply was ... "Depends."
2003-06-04 02:49:55 PM  

If he waits a little while, he can star in his own Zombie movie!
2003-06-04 02:51:54 PM  
If he waits a little while, he can star in his own Zombie movie!

Yeah! "The Ten Million Dollar Zombie"
2003-06-04 02:52:29 PM  
The defintion of ensues, ensues:

Main Entry: ensue
Pronunciation: in-'s, en-
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): ensued; ensuing
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French ensuivre, from Old French, from en- + suivre to follow.
2003-06-04 02:53:36 PM  
Think this guy will adopt me before he kicks the bucket?
2003-06-04 02:56:04 PM  
If he does Sunbelly, do you want to get married?
2003-06-04 02:57:28 PM  
better hope anna nicole doesn't get there first, Sunbelly.
2003-06-04 02:59:06 PM  
that rhyme was pretty good, The_rev. it made me chuckle.
2003-06-04 03:01:18 PM  
Thanks, Avixxen2, I've been a step or two behind Maxxlarge all day.
2003-06-04 03:03:11 PM  
Yeah! "The Ten Million Dollar Zombie"

Luis Salazar, millionaire. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, let's not rebuild him.
2003-06-04 03:06:48 PM  
We CAN rebuild him..

[image from too old to be available]
2003-06-04 03:14:20 PM  
Let's build this instead.
2003-06-04 03:16:49 PM  
Er, that was supposed to be a pic of Lindsey Wagner.

/giving up
2003-06-04 04:22:47 PM  
Y'know, this guy worked until he was 87 years old. That's impressive, and respectable. Enjoy the cash, while you can.
2003-06-04 06:45:16 PM  
Watch out!!!! Anna Nicole Smith is on her way!!!!
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