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(Seattle Times)   Paul Allen gives away his $13.5 billion fortune to the lazy and shiftless minorities dragging America down into the gutter. Thanks for ruining our country, pal   (seattletimes.nwsource.com) divider line 92
    More: Cool, cognitive sciences, combined sewer, Melinda Gates, funding agencies, philanthropy, local community, tuberculosis, Vulcan  
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17410 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2010 at 10:18 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-07-16 10:19:37 AM  
I killed Paul Allen with an axe to the face.
 
2010-07-16 10:20:39 AM  
FTA:

Allen's old friends Bill and Melinda Gates, along with investor Warren Buffett, recently challenged America's uber-rich to pledge at least half their wealth to charitable pursuits. Allen, 57, said he has planned to do that for many years but had not gone public with his intentions until now.

LOL, like that will happen.
 
2010-07-16 10:22:06 AM  
StarshipPooper: LOL, like that will happen.

Um, it's happening. Now what, biatch?
 
2010-07-16 10:22:54 AM  
Are women still minorities?

If so, Mr. Allen, you can find me in North Suburban Detroit.
 
2010-07-16 10:23:16 AM  
bizcardpro.com
/oblig
bizcardpro.com
 
2010-07-16 10:23:27 AM  
Medical and other technology-based research projects are not typically run by the lazy, or shiftless minorities, subby.
 
2010-07-16 10:23:56 AM  
crazyeddie: StarshipPooper: LOL, like that will happen.

Um, it's happening. Now what, biatch?


America's uber-rich is only Paul Allen? Wow, so all those other families with billion dollars are not rich? Makes sense to me.
 
2010-07-16 10:24:20 AM  
That oughta motivate 'em. Well played, hippie.
 
2010-07-16 10:24:33 AM  
Paul Allen bought me a new dishwasher. Then he kicked me in the dick & said he "owned [my] sorry white ass" and that he could do whatever he wanted to me.

/I returned the dishwasher.
 
2010-07-16 10:24:39 AM  
crazyeddie 2010-07-16 10:22:06 AM
StarshipPooper: LOL, like that will happen.

Um, it's happening. Now what, biatch?



Uh... how about I call bullshiat?
 
Biv
2010-07-16 10:24:42 AM  
How about he toss me some of that shiate instead of giving it to research that wont do dick. I don't need alot. Just enough for a low end new car. Something automatic, I live in Seattle and the hills are murder on manuals. Got some medical concerns that need taken care of. Maybe an HD tv? That's it. Is that so much to ask?
 
2010-07-16 10:25:27 AM  
evilkalla: Medical and other technology-based research projects are not typically run by the lazy, or shiftless minorities, subby.

Subby was jesting, as evidenced by the "cool" tag.

So there.
 
2010-07-16 10:25:57 AM  
StarshipPooper: FTA:

Allen's old friends Bill and Melinda Gates, along with investor Warren Buffett, recently challenged America's uber-rich to pledge at least half their wealth to charitable pursuits. Allen, 57, said he has planned to do that for many years but had not gone public with his intentions until now.

LOL, like that will happen.


It will happen for for no other reason than tax credits/deductions if anything, and does for most of the ultra-wealthy. But the Gates' and Paul Allen's actions seem like those of people legitimately interested in funding projects they feel will benefit the human race, but aren't glamorous or sexy enough to merit lots of publicity or funding. Kudos to them, and I often wish I were a billionaire just so I had the resources to fund scientific research projects at whim.

/build me the biggest laser, EVER
//so I can show it to the strippers planning on dropping by my cocaine-fueled private island orgy
 
2010-07-16 10:27:21 AM  
2011: "I...can't....believe.. I did that. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!"
 
2010-07-16 10:27:49 AM  
Whenever I say "Oh God" and don't have anything to follow it up with, I usually just tack on, "It even has a watermark."
 
2010-07-16 10:27:54 AM  
StarshipPooper: America's uber-rich is only Paul Allen? Wow, so all those other families with billion dollars are not rich? Makes sense to me.

Bill Gates, Paul Allen and Warren Buffett all have donated the majority of their wealth. Over 100 billion so far. All over 90%. How much much have you given?

Now what?
 
2010-07-16 10:28:17 AM  
Good for him.
 
2010-07-16 10:30:28 AM  
StarshipPooper: America's uber-rich is only Paul Allen? Wow, so all those other families with billion dollars are not rich?

Ah I see. Your criteria for success is now that ALL rich people must donate half their wealth, or you will consider it meaningless. I get it. That way, you can go on smugly believing that the wealthy are just so selfish and greedy and mean!

Have you considered the possibility that the wealthy act snotty because they really are better than you? They amass fortunes by adding real value to our society, and they then have the magnanmity to give HALF away. Meanwhile, you are busy playing with your ferrets in a 2 bedroom apartment, lamenting those meanie rich folks.

Just go away.
 
2010-07-16 10:31:00 AM  
Paul Allen is the walrus.
 
2010-07-16 10:31:28 AM  
These philanthropic billionaires gave a shiat ton of money to causes they wanted to see advanced. That's what I call spending, not giving. Plus, if what you keep is more than 99.999% of the world will ever even dream of having, what sacrifice have you made? Don't get me wrong, it's great if they give their money to good causes and the money actually ends up furthering those causes. However, fat chance of that.
 
2010-07-16 10:31:33 AM  
crazyeddie: StarshipPooper: LOL, like that will happen.

Um, it's happening. Now what, biatch?


How about paying some taxes like the rest of us schmucks. I'm waiting for the IRS to send a jet to pick me up to woo me for contributions.
 
2010-07-16 10:32:05 AM  
I loved his work on 'Home Improvement'...
 
2010-07-16 10:32:26 AM  
seattletimes.nwsource.comwww.bobcesca.com
 
2010-07-16 10:33:57 AM  
Maybe the super rich could help people by paying higher wages to workers. Ever wake up early and go get coffee from McDonalds? That lady that's up at 3am, driving a hooptie to a dead end job to brew coffee for your lazy ass could use some help.
 
2010-07-16 10:35:07 AM  
I think this is great and all, but why is he waiting until he dies? Why can't he just give it away now? I think he can get by with just a billion. Would be pretty ironic if 20 years from now he dies of brain cancer, and the money he donates posthumously to the Allen Institute for Brain Science finds a cure...
 
2010-07-16 10:35:10 AM  
NightOwl2255: StarshipPooper: America's uber-rich is only Paul Allen? Wow, so all those other families with billion dollars are not rich? Makes sense to me.

Bill Gates, Paul Allen and Warren Buffett all have donated the majority of their wealth. Over 100 billion so far. All over 90%. How much much have you given?

Now what?


No crap, it mentioned them in the article. He's asking for every super rich/wealthy family to do that. That's not going to happen anytime soon.

What would I do? How about I walk away from the money? The country I imigrated from, our family was one of the richest there. We left it along with any ties to any inheritance. Last I checked, our patriarch died last month and it's total war over with my uncles and aunts fighting over money. I may not be rich but I know rich people.
 
2010-07-16 10:35:14 AM  
I thought his body was dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen.
 
2010-07-16 10:35:16 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2010-07-16 10:36:16 AM  
crazyeddie: Have you considered the possibility that the wealthy act snotty because they really are better than you? They amass fortunes by adding real value to our society, and they then have the magnanmity to give HALF away. Meanwhile, you are busy playing with your ferrets in a 2 bedroom apartment, lamenting those meanie rich folks.

The Girls Gone Wild guy is not better than me.
 
2010-07-16 10:38:02 AM  
Geeze, the lengths people will go to in order to avoid the death tax...
 
2010-07-16 10:38:02 AM  
sboyle1020: The Girls Gone Wild guy is not better than me.

We'll need to define terms. He's made millions of men orgasm. What have you done lately?
 
2010-07-16 10:38:45 AM  
Paula's Beautiful Bloodshot Eyes: Maybe the super rich could help people by paying higher wages to workers. Ever wake up early and go get coffee from McDonalds? That lady that's up at 3am, driving a hooptie to a dead end job to brew coffee for your lazy ass could use some help.

If there were two places next to each other and one paid their employees $15 an hour and sold coffee for $2 a cup and the other place paid its employees $7 an hour and sold coffee for $1 a cup which would you buy your coffee from? The $2 a cup place would be out or business in a few months.
Yes, I know you would pay the extra, but you are in the vast minority.
 
2010-07-16 10:39:30 AM  
Came for American Psycho references. Leaving satisfied
 
2010-07-16 10:43:00 AM  
StarshipPooper: What would I do? How about I walk away from the money?

Well, as long as you have a plan to help, fark them billionaires that are creating the largest charitable pool in history.
Hell, Paul should build the largest ship in the world for a few billion and power it by burning hundred dollar bills.
 
2010-07-16 10:44:48 AM  
sboyle1020: I think this is great and all, but why is he waiting until he dies? Why can't he just give it away now? I think he can get by with just a billion. Would be pretty ironic if 20 years from now he dies of brain cancer, and the money he donates posthumously to the Allen Institute for Brain Science finds a cure...

He can make a huge splash, as well as assure his own (literal) immortality by devoting it NOW to solid research to extend human life. With a few billion spent intelligently, treatments could be developed within his (and more importantly...MY) lifetime to reset the clock, as it were.

Then additional advances would reset it again, and so forth. Heck, a hundred years from now he could be celebrating the Trailblazer's first League Championship...nah!
 
2010-07-16 10:45:57 AM  
So the real question is: How does a poor semi-peniless slob like me get in on some of this free dosh?

/not a minority
//but relatively speaking, dirt poor
 
2010-07-16 10:46:27 AM  
crazyeddie: sboyle1020: The Girls Gone Wild guy is not better than me.

We'll need to define terms. He's made millions of men orgasm. What have you done lately?


Ha, I was just being a smartass. I actually agreed with your statement...I have not and probably never will contribute anything of value to society. I mean I volunteer, but that doesn't count anywhere other than my small circle of the world.
 
2010-07-16 10:46:35 AM  
I'm just cynical to the point where I find it really hard to believe that rich people share.

I'm betting that the vast majority of the vast majority of this guy's wealth will just wind up in someone else's trust fund and the folks it's meant to serve will be very mildly better off.
 
2010-07-16 10:50:25 AM  
notice who is absent from this article..
Its just a matter of time before Steve Jobs comes in and creates the iGive. Then and only then will the hipster masses consider it to be cool to donate to charity.
 
2010-07-16 10:51:46 AM  
crazyeddie 2010-07-16 10:30:28 AM
Ah I see. Your criteria for success is now that ALL rich people must donate half their wealth, or you will consider it meaningless. I get it. That way, you can go on smugly believing that the wealthy are just so selfish and greedy and mean!

Have you considered the possibility that the wealthy act snotty because they really are better than you? They amass fortunes by adding real value to our society, and they then have the magnanmity to give HALF away. Meanwhile, you are busy playing with your ferrets in a 2 bedroom apartment, lamenting those meanie rich folks.


Wow. Do you get a pat on the head for fellating the interests of the upper class? Assuming you are like the rest of us middle class losers....

I mean kudos for Paul Allen. He's pretty much self-made. But, a significant portion of the upper class are basically beneficiaries of trust funds.
 
2010-07-16 10:51:47 AM  
NightOwl2255: StarshipPooper: What would I do? How about I walk away from the money?

Well, as long as you have a plan to help, fark them billionaires that are creating the largest charitable pool in history.
Hell, Paul should build the largest ship in the world for a few billion and power it by burning hundred dollar bills.


Doesn't he already own a superyacht with its own helicopter and submarine that deploys out of a sub pen within the ship? Or is that some Arab oil billionaire? Thought I read about that in Forbes or something linked thru Fark a while back.
 
2010-07-16 10:51:55 AM  
This is why rich people are better than poor people.
 
2010-07-16 10:52:03 AM  
In looking over this thread thus far that so many here are actually criticizing this guy for not doing enough.

Really? The guy gives away billions upon billions of dollars, and your answer is "Yeah, but he's got more."

THIS is why no one will ever take you seriously about anything you have to say.

Instead of saying "That's awesome. Way to go!", you're seriously going to criticize the guy for doing this?

For everyone who has even an ounce of criticism: FARK YOU
 
2010-07-16 10:53:28 AM  
I don't get the headline?
 
2010-07-16 10:53:31 AM  
nopokerface: These philanthropic billionaires gave a shiat ton of money to causes they wanted to see advanced. That's what I call spending, not giving. Plus, if what you keep is more than 99.999% of the world will ever even dream of having, what sacrifice have you made? Don't get me wrong, it's great if they give their money to good causes and the money actually ends up furthering those causes. However, fat chance of that.

So tax it at 90%, because the government will make sure it gets spent well?
 
2010-07-16 10:54:15 AM  
jim_paul: In looking over this thread thus far that so many here are actually criticizing this guy for not doing enough.

Really? The guy gives away billions upon billions of dollars, and your answer is "Yeah, but he's got more."

THIS is why no one will ever take you seriously about anything you have to say.

Instead of saying "That's awesome. Way to go!", you're seriously going to criticize the guy for doing this?

For everyone who has even an ounce of criticism: FARK YOU


I wasn't being critical, I was just curious as to why he's waiting until he's dead...
 
2010-07-16 10:56:53 AM  
Paula's Beautiful Bloodshot Eyes: Maybe the super rich could help people by paying higher wages to workers. Ever wake up early and go get coffee from McDonalds? That lady that's up at 3am, driving a hooptie to a dead end job to brew coffee for your lazy ass could use some help.

So, let's stop doing profitable things altogether, pay everyone too much for companies to be solvent, and eliminate all the wealth. THEN things will be fair.
 
2010-07-16 10:58:01 AM  
IrishBlunder: So the real question is: How does a poor semi-peniless slob like me get in on some of this free dosh?

/not a minority
//but relatively speaking, dirt poor


become an artist in the Pacific NW using recycled or natural materials
 
2010-07-16 10:58:18 AM  
nopokerface: These philanthropic billionaires gave a shiat ton of money to causes they wanted to see advanced. That's what I call spending, not giving. Plus, if what you keep is more than 99.999% of the world will ever even dream of having, what sacrifice have you made? Don't get me wrong, it's great if they give their money to good causes and the money actually ends up furthering those causes. However, fat chance of that.

Well there's just no pleasing some people.

// that's just what Jesus said sir
 
2010-07-16 10:59:12 AM  
Paula's Beautiful Bloodshot Eyes Quote 2010-07-16 10:33:57 AM
Maybe the super rich could help people by paying higher wages to workers. Ever wake up early and go get coffee from McDonalds? That lady that's up at 3am, driving a hooptie to a dead end job to brew coffee for your lazy ass could use some help.

>>>>>

take classes online, find a profession that still pays well in a recession, work part time to get experience, profit
 
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