Lots of stuff happening, but most of it has been happening for a while so at this point it's periodic updates. Seeing so many headlines every day, it's all beginning to blur, I start wondering why President Lebron isn't doing more to stop bad World Cup officiating at the BP oil spill in Miami.

We are, however, just past the halfway point of the year, and Unfreakable is working on the Headline of the Year contest. The primary categories will still be:

Headline of the Year
- Main
- Sports
- Geek
- Showbiz
- Politics
- Business
- Music
- Puns and Wordplay

As well as Dumbass of the Year, Parents of the Year, and the Weirdest Story of 2010. In years past, there's always a bit of conflict on the Headline of the Year contest, because some of the best headlines are spit-out-your-drink hilarious, but only in relation to the linked story. On a t-shirt, it wouldn't be funny all by itself.

But since many of these these are Fark favorites, we're adding a new category for "context" headline this year. Hopefully in November the articles they linked to will still be available, but regardless, we're going to have a contest for those, too, so that everybody gets time to consider.

Usually we don't get spooled up on any of this until November, but then we have to crush things through and we'd rather be done with the contests by December 15 because the media starts shutting down the last two weeks of the year, just like most non-retail businesses.

So in the next two weeks we'll be putting up some voting threads in Totalfark to let the TFers vote on their favorites from January through June, as well as those sub-contests, so that by Thanksgiving we're ahead of the game and can start putting up the threads the first two weeks of December. So if you're not a member of TF and you want to vote on the HOY primaries, now's the time to part with a fiver.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-07-04 to Sat 2010-07-10:

  Female suicide bomber kills four in Iraq after being promised an eternity of subjugation and second class citizenship in the afterlife    

  Colombian cops find World Cup made of cocaine. They were unsure of the intended destination of the coke, but since it was in the form of the World Cup they immediately ruled out the United States    

  Man who blew his arm off fooling around with fireworks is "beating himself up" over his foolishness. Only on one side of his body, though    

  Queen Elizabeth II to address United Nations and visit Ground Zero in her first visit to the United States since Reggie Jackson's failed assassination attempt    

  92 year old woman dies from heat, being 92    

  Man holds his mom hostage for not ironing clothes. Authorities don't expect her to even press charges    

  Men who do household chores are more attractive, say women who don't like to do household chores    

  Anne Frank's Diary has been translated into a graphic novel. The inevitable movie adaptation that is 2.5 hours long and misses the point while changing the best parts will be released next year    

  There once were reporters on KARK. Who posted funny videos as a lark. Since they used their own station. Unemployment was hastened. And now they're a headline on FARK    

  Jasmine's aroma equals the calming effect of valium. After she gets off the pole, of course    

  Woman gives birth to two ten-pound babies, is now headed to Gulf to replace containment cap on Macondo well    


Sports:

  Caster Semenya hopes that he will soon be able to compete again in womens athletics    

  Sports scientists say athletes who most exuberantly slap teammates on the butt have the best chance of winning, scoring    

  Son of former NFL coach Dennis Green arrested for possessing child porn, claims the images WEREN'T WHO HE THOUGHT THEY WERE    


Geek:

  New Zealand scientists discover that fish talk to each other in a "secret language of grunts, growls, chirps and pops". Much like New Zealanders, in fact    

  New device will vibrate your car seat when something moves into the car's blind spot. Subby will be backing in and out of her garage for a while, if you need her    

  Google avoids classic blunder, doesn't get involved in a LAN war in Asia    


Showbiz:

  Harlan Ellison announces The Great Book Purge, a sale of rare items from his own library, including first editions and unproduced scripts. Buy something or he'll sue you    

  ♫ LiLo, LiLo, it's off to jail you go. ♫  

  Tori Spelling says Dean McDermott's motorcycle crash has been hard on their young children. Not as hard as watching their mother on 90210 reruns, but still pretty hard    


Politics:

  Israel plans to take concrete steps with the Palestinians. They'll also take Palestinian concrete walkways, concrete walls, and concrete foundations    

  "Little Obama" movie opens in Indonesia. Looks promising at first, but then turns out to be disappointing and you end up paying $127.50 to exit the theater    

  John McCain announces his intent to vote against the Kagan confirmation, ensuring his aging body remains mercifully free from the ravages of integrity    


Music:

  Pet Shop Boys put next album aside to score a ballet. What have we done to deserve this?    

  Dave Mustaine releasing autobiography next month. It's uncertain whether or not Metallica will include a few chapters of Dave's book in theirs    

  Lady Gaga influenced Usher's latest release. In an unrelated story, there's still no confirmation on whether Usher has a penis    


Business:

  In a move sure to stirrup trouble, Roy Rogers' debt saddled heirs rein in their sentiment, and auction Trigger despite protests of neigh-sayers    

  French company to launch new "torture tours" in which tourists pay to be tied up and imprisoned in a small box for up to ten hours at a time. Continental Airlines to sue for trademark infringement    

  McDonald's to food nannies: No, we're not getting rid of Happy Meals, you publicity-seeking nags. So bite our hairy purple Grimace    
· · ·