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(The Consumerist)   Quite probably the best bed advertisement you'll ever read   (consumerist.com) divider line 71
    More: Amusing, beds  
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31138 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jul 2010 at 10:02 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-07-13 08:51:56 AM  
Alright!! It's midget friendly!
 
2010-07-13 09:00:58 AM  
xanadian: Alright!! It's midget friendly!

fap fap fap
 
2010-07-13 09:11:12 AM  
I would never buy a used bed. Ever. I've known too many people with bedbug issues...
 
2010-07-13 09:41:18 AM  
God that made me miss Joey Heatherton (new window).
 
2010-07-13 10:04:43 AM  
the author of that ad reads [or writes] way too many amazon product reviews.
 
2010-07-13 10:04:54 AM  
If I bought that bed they damn well better actually have that DVD and riding crop.
 
2010-07-13 10:05:56 AM  
I got bored reading this.
 
2010-07-13 10:06:37 AM  
LOL Now THAT was a hoot!!!
 
2010-07-13 10:07:48 AM  
Mom?
 
2010-07-13 10:09:35 AM  
Gerbils???? Was Richard Gere on that thing too?
 
2010-07-13 10:10:44 AM  
mjsee 2010-07-13 09:11:12 AM
I would never buy a used bed. Ever. I've known too many people with bedbug issues...


THIS
 
2010-07-13 10:11:35 AM  
Yeah, let me know how many calls you get from parties interested in your over-hyped dungeon bed.

/Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
//Congrats on the writing skill though
 
2010-07-13 10:11:47 AM  
Now, if it had a three-wolf-motif bedspread and matching pillow shams and skirting, I would have snatched it up in a minute.
 
2010-07-13 10:12:11 AM  
yeah, i don't want to sleep in a bed that has hosted that much farking already.
 
2010-07-13 10:12:27 AM  
"Full Purchase price includes DVD copy of "Sensual Tribal Drumming for Aspiring Masochists"
 
2010-07-13 10:13:46 AM  
xanadian: Alright!! It's midget friendly!

I thought midgets used cribs (new window), not beds.
 
2010-07-13 10:15:43 AM  
SlothB77: yeah, i don't want to sleep in a bed that has hosted that much farking already.

You have correctly captured the exact sentiments of the thought I formed whilst reading the aforementioned article.
 
2010-07-13 10:16:15 AM  
Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: Now, if it had a three-wolf-motif bedspread and matching pillow shams and skirting, I would have snatched it up in a minute.

It did say it was good for use with small woodland creatures...
 
2010-07-13 10:17:01 AM  
I could see a young Asian lady picking that up as professional equipment. (bed is extra $25).
 
2010-07-13 10:17:06 AM  
At long last, there's a product that will allow all the members of consumerist.com to go f*ck themselves.
 
2010-07-13 10:17:15 AM  
What is that statistic? The weight of your matress doubles every 5 years due to body fluids and dust mites. NO THANK YOU!
 
2010-07-13 10:17:49 AM  
 
PJ-
2010-07-13 10:17:53 AM  
mjsee: I would never buy a used bed. Ever. I've known too many people with bedbug issues...

Yea, old friend of mine would buy used matresses. I would try to talk him out of it, his defence? 'Well, they steam-vac them right?'

Really?
 
2010-07-13 10:18:12 AM  
Is this Pocket Ninja's bed ?
 
2010-07-13 10:18:22 AM  
33centpanties: SlothB77: yeah, i don't want to sleep in a bed that has hosted that much farking already.

You have correctly captured the exact sentiments of the thought I formed whilst reading the aforementioned article.


THIS!!

/Yeeeeeee-uuuccckkk!!
 
2010-07-13 10:18:33 AM  
Oh, and Steinbrenner is dead.
 
2010-07-13 10:19:41 AM  
Farking main page refresh, how does it work?
 
2010-07-13 10:20:23 AM  
brap: God that made me miss Joey Heatherton (new window).

You say you miss Joey Heatherton?

i1020.photobucket.com

(Sorry; all I have with Miss Heatherton...OK, Catherine O'Hara as Joey Heatherton, but still, win either way.)
 
2010-07-13 10:22:47 AM  
Billy Ligue: Is this Pocket Ninja's bed ?


Nah, probably Gor-Gor's
 
2010-07-13 10:22:57 AM  
Newfielad: mjsee 2010-07-13 09:11:12 AM
I would never buy a used bed. Ever. I've known too many people with bedbug issues...

THIS


But they sanitized it with bleach!

\threw up in my mouth a little
 
2010-07-13 10:22:58 AM  
Cotton Rinkenbolts: At long last, there's a product that will allow all the members of consumerist.com to go f*ck themselves.

It's funny listening to someone tell themself off.
 
2010-07-13 10:24:08 AM  
craxyd: Billy Ligue: Is this Pocket Ninja's bed ?


Nah, probably Gor-Gor's


I don't think gogor would sell his bed, isn't it welded to the floor?
 
2010-07-13 10:24:13 AM  
img51.imageshack.us
 
2010-07-13 10:25:20 AM  
I had a roommate buy a used king-sized mattress from Days Inn once. He kept telling me he got a great deal on it.

/shudder
 
2010-07-13 10:27:38 AM  
RatBomb: brap: God that made me miss Joey Heatherton (new window).

You say you miss Joey Heatherton?
(Sorry; all I have with Miss Heatherton...OK, Catherine O'Hara as Joey Heatherton, but still, win either way.)


I miss Catherine O'Hara's/Lola Heatherton as well. Bit of genius that bit was. She was a scream.
 
2010-07-13 10:27:43 AM  
Billy Ligue: craxyd: Billy Ligue: Is this Pocket Ninja's bed ?


Nah, probably Gor-Gor's

I don't think gogor would sell his bed, isn't it welded
crusted to the floor?

FTFY
 
2010-07-13 10:33:05 AM  
Eastern European curling chicks, now. Chop chop, people.
 
2010-07-13 10:33:50 AM  
That sounds like a lot to live up to. Who wants that kind of pressure?
 
2010-07-13 10:37:46 AM  
mjsee: I would never buy a used bed. Ever. I've known too many people with bedbug issues...

If it were a mattress, I would agree. A good bed frame is another thing, and the teeth marks are purely decorative.
 
2010-07-13 10:38:29 AM  
mab1823: I had a roommate buy a used king-sized mattress from Days Inn once. He kept telling me he got a great deal on it.

/shudder


Just drenched with semen. Like a king-sized semen sponge.
 
2010-07-13 10:41:06 AM  
mjsee: I would never buy a used bed. Ever. I've known too many people with bedbug issues...

Yeah, especially a $300 Denver Mattress bed. I mean, that's what - $10 off the price they paid and it's used?
 
2010-07-13 10:42:48 AM  
yep, quite possibly indeed.

too bad the author's not included. sounds like a fun guy/gal.
 
2010-07-13 10:42:55 AM  
Silverlining: Like a king-sized semen sponge.

Like your mom.

/Sorry, couldn't help it, picking the low-hanging fruit.
//I'm sure she's a nice lady.
 
2010-07-13 10:44:19 AM  
RatMaster999: Billy Ligue: craxyd: Billy Ligue: Is this Pocket Ninja's bed ?


Nah, probably Gor-Gor's

I don't think gogor would sell his bed, isn't it welded crusted to the floor?

FTFY


I sorely miss the gorgor roulette

/wants gerbils and pvc tubing
 
2010-07-13 10:45:08 AM  
Meh, it was amusing the first time some one did something like this, now it is repetitive and booooooring.
 
2010-07-13 10:45:34 AM  
Prank Call of Cthulhu: xanadian: Alright!! It's midget friendly!

I thought midgets used cribs (new window), not beds.


Oh my God. I followed your link and now I can't stop laughing! Best website EVER!
 
2010-07-13 10:49:12 AM  
Evil_ferret: Prank Call of Cthulhu: xanadian: Alright!! It's midget friendly!

I thought midgets used cribs (new window), not beds.

Oh my God. I followed your link and now I can't stop laughing! Best website EVER!


Operation Soccer Escort (new window) is the best of the bunch:

"....The Suburban she is in will have an armed security detail of men I have worked with in Iraq. We know what we are doing. She will be escorted in our convoy down the highway at a high rate of speed to avoid stopping in "kill zones." All vehicles are equipped with an MIRT which is used to change the traffic lights to green so we will not have to slow down. Your daughter will arrive safely in your arms no later than 20 minutes from when she is extracted from the soccer field....."
 
2010-07-13 10:49:57 AM  
Hickory-smoked: mjsee: I would never buy a used bed. Ever. I've known too many people with bedbug issues...

If it were a mattress, I would agree. A good bed frame is another thing, and the teeth marks are purely decorative.


bed bugs can live in the frames, surrounding carpets and drapes. they arent limited to just the mattress.

i unknowingly bought a refurbished mattress back in 99 way before the bedbug epidemic came to nyc. never had a problem with that bed but i wouldnt take my chances these days.

always wonder how a bed is refurbished. may be better off not knowing.
 
2010-07-13 10:52:09 AM  
TanClan32773: This reminds me of

Open up your pocketbook, get another quarter out, drop it in the meter Mama, try me on for size.
 
2010-07-13 10:58:55 AM  
Noobian Noob: Hickory-smoked: mjsee: I would never buy a used bed. Ever. I've known too many people with bedbug issues...

If it were a mattress, I would agree. A good bed frame is another thing, and the teeth marks are purely decorative.

bed bugs can live in the frames, surrounding carpets and drapes. they arent limited to just the mattress.

i unknowingly bought a refurbished mattress back in 99 way before the bedbug epidemic came to nyc. never had a problem with that bed but i wouldnt take my chances these days.

always wonder how a bed is refurbished. may be better off not knowing.

I live in Chicago and we have alleys and when we throw out mattresses and box springs some people come out to get them almost within a hour
/The bed collectors are never seen or heard
 
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