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(BBC)   Protip: If you're going to burn someone's house down, do not Google "how to burn someone's house down" the day before you do it   (news.bbc.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Stupid, structure fire, victim impact statements, Nottingham, Google, life, Mrs Masud, murders  
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5979 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2010 at 7:51 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-07-09 04:59:07 PM  
Do not comment on this Fark thread the day before.
 
2010-07-09 05:23:48 PM  
:::Furiously writing notes:::
 
2010-07-09 06:02:39 PM  
the combination of this picture:

news.bbcimg.co.uk

And "The sisters died after the fire at their home in Tooting"

..is way more than my maturity level can handle, and likely will ever be able to handle.
 
2010-07-09 06:22:26 PM  
Duh. You google "How to NOT burn down someone's house."

/Criminal mastermind
 
2010-07-09 06:22:55 PM  
What if you Google "How to build a house for your neighbor," and follow the steps in reverse order?
 
2010-07-09 06:45:29 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2010-07-09 07:28:25 PM  
Just how dumb are you to have to Google "how do I burn someone's house down?" Are you not aware that houses burn?
 
2010-07-09 08:00:33 PM  
 
2010-07-09 08:00:55 PM  
blogs.discovermagazine.com
 
2010-07-09 08:01:12 PM  
Well duh ... you should Google "How to burn someone's house down AND NOT GET CAUGHT!"

and then Google "How to end sentences WITHOUT YELLING."
 
2010-07-09 08:06:58 PM  
This is what I found when I googled

Q. Flag burning, since its legal it makes it seem fun lol, but do i have to buy my own flag to burn it?
im thinking that it will be a crime that i cant just run up to someones house n burn there flag right lol? its all funn and games so chill out with the compassionate crap lol
 
2010-07-09 08:08:20 PM  
Did someone say heartbreak at 14?

s168.photobucket.com


/It's really hard to deal with.
//Pic is hotter than him with tits.
///So was the house.
 
2010-07-09 08:10:32 PM  
Go ahead and google it. Just google "how to clear your cache" afterwards.
 
2010-07-09 08:11:34 PM  
Any arseface who needs to google "how to set something on fire" must be a farking idiot.

cmon how hard is it? lighter fluid, a couple of matches, some bags of asbestos....

/should I not have said that?
 
2010-07-09 08:11:50 PM  
What a dumbass. Everyone knows you don't Google 'how to burn a house down' you call the person, tell them you're going to burn their house down, and make sure you inform them they are going to blow you first.
 
2010-07-09 08:18:57 PM  
Dumbass. Should have googled "how to burn a house down AND GET AWAY WITH IT"
 
2010-07-09 08:21:40 PM  
Woohoo! The U.S. court system works! No heartless lawyer fighting for the kid saying he just had bad parents and trying to get him out of jail time and just get treatment instead! fark YA U.S. JUSTICE SYSTEM IS FIXED!

Oh wait, BBC... This was in the UK? Ah fark. Nevermind, we're still assholes with a retarded judicial system.
 
2010-07-09 08:22:52 PM  
Go to the house you're going to burn down, use their computer to Google "How to burn down someone's house," and then make sure to burn down their computer when you burn down the house.
 
2010-07-09 08:25:31 PM  
And if you must google it, clear your history afterward.

/They probably have ways to get your history back
//But don't make it easy for 'em!
 
2010-07-09 08:26:28 PM  
ftfa: Miah had previously threatened Maleha that if she did not continue their relationship he would "do something to her and her family".

Well, at least he's not a liar.
 
2010-07-09 08:27:10 PM  
img2.pict.com

It's like Google is reading my mind.

/At least people are seeking out knowledge instead of haphazardly disposing of bodies
 
2010-07-09 08:30:44 PM  
This is what public library computers are for......
 
2010-07-09 08:33:15 PM  
Oh greet, now you tell me. Hold on, I think someone's at the door.
 
2010-07-09 08:34:40 PM  

birdboy2000: And if you must google it, clear your history afterward.

/They probably have ways to get your history back
//But don't make it easy for 'em!

a4.vox.com
 
2010-07-09 08:35:11 PM  
Apparently, Google told him to pour petrol down the mail box and light it, sounds stupid, but you can't argue with the result.
 
2010-07-09 08:38:15 PM  
AC/DC were also named as "people of interest" but were not considered suspects.
 
2010-07-09 08:40:04 PM  
news.bbcimg.co.uk
_____Before__________After______
 
2010-07-09 08:42:18 PM  
I work in computer forensics; So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't. I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do. Cos some fark readers believe anything they hear.

/ive always wanted to do that.

//Yeah, clear the history and the cache afterwards and we're utterly helpless, like turtles on our backs.
 
2010-07-09 08:47:47 PM  
Whitewabbit: I work in computer forensics; So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't. I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do. Cos some fark readers believe anything they hear.

/ive always wanted to do that.

//Yeah, clear the history and the cache afterwards and we're utterly helpless, like turtles on our backs.


Enlighten us or STFU.
 
2010-07-09 08:48:15 PM  
so, wait, do i know what i'm talking about or not
 
2010-07-09 08:49:16 PM  

MeatWrangler: Enlighten us or STFU.


Something to hide? Tell me your secrets...
 
2010-07-09 08:52:16 PM  
This is why I clear my cash all the time....I routinely google for pretty sick shiat.

Only because I'm curious as to what sick shiat is out there. How to commit arson, how to kill yourself, how to poison someone and get away with it, how to grow marijiuana, how to make meth, how to rape someone, how to make bombs out of hydrogen peroxide...gotta love the interwebz.
 
2010-07-09 08:52:31 PM  

Whitewabbit: I work in computer forensics; So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't. I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do. Cos some fark readers believe anything they hear.

/ive always wanted to do that.

//Yeah, clear the history and the cache afterwards and we're utterly helpless, like turtles on our backs.


Help us, O Great One! I have a friend who does forensics in the banking industry and he told me that unless the hard drive is totally- physically- destroyed, he can find everything I've ever done on my computer.

Took all the joy out of surfing porn-

Seriously, how do we cover our tracks? Not that we are planning on hiding a body or anything but I would like my Bible Study outlines to be private. *cough* *cough*
 
2010-07-09 08:53:10 PM  
i clear my cash all the time too, usually on hookers and beer
 
2010-07-09 08:54:31 PM  
Protip: Using Protip makes you like... well... stupid....

Waitaminute, I resemble that remark.
 
2010-07-09 08:57:06 PM  
He saved a picture of the gutted house as his mobile phone screensaver.

WTF, dude.
 
2010-07-09 08:57:46 PM  
So ummmm. Now I'm curious. How do you do it?
 
2010-07-09 09:00:46 PM  

Whitewabbit: I work in computer forensics; So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't. I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do. Cos some fark readers believe anything they hear.

8/10

/ive always wanted to do that

.

//Yeah, clear the history and the cache afterwards and we're utterly helpless, like turtles on our backs.


6/10-
 
2010-07-09 09:01:29 PM  

sk8r: Help us, O Great One! I have a friend who does forensics in the banking industry and he told me that unless the hard drive is totally- physically- destroyed, he can find everything I've ever done on my computer


I respectfully disagree with your friends comment. I have watched enough CSI to realize the law can recover every thing from your hard drive even if it has been reduced to a piece of ash the size of a pin head.

/they can't lie on television. It's in the Constitution
 
2010-07-09 09:03:01 PM  

sk8r: I have a friend who does forensics in the banking industry and he told me that unless the hard drive is totally- physically- destroyed, he can find everything I've ever done on my computer.


Your friend is lying to you. You'll never get _everything_ theres just too much data to process, you focus on the important stuff like internet history, etc rather than when patches were applied etc.

If you want to cover your tracks, the best advice I can give you is to not do anything that requires wiping. Your searches for transformer porn? We dont give a toss about those, your collection of pirate movies? Again, toss not given. Im not going to make my life harder by telling people how to hide illegal material. Probably shouldnt have posted at all, but the opportunity to post the oldest fark meme i can remember was too great. Damn you nostalgia.
 
2010-07-09 09:04:33 PM  

Whitewabbit: I work in computer forensics; So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't. I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do. Cos some fark readers believe anything they hear.

/ive always wanted to do that.

//Yeah, clear the history and the cache afterwards and we're utterly helpless, like turtles on our backs.


It's always nice to see a classic trotted out.

+1
 
2010-07-09 09:05:20 PM  

MeatWrangler: Whitewabbit: I work in computer forensics; So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't. I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do. Cos some fark readers believe anything they hear.

/ive always wanted to do that.

//Yeah, clear the history and the cache afterwards and we're utterly helpless, like turtles on our backs.

Enlighten us or STFU.


There's a handy forensic program called EnCase; you've seen it dramatized on CSI. EnCase takes everything ever recorded on your hard drive and reads it out keystroke by keystroke. It doesn't matter if you clear your cache or delete your email; everything that was ever on your drive is still there unless or until it gets overwritten. (Norton Utilities makes a forensic program that does the same thing). You used to be able to get the same kind of readout via DOS; but EnCase breaks it out into words and documents.

You can zero out your drive and fill in all the empty spaces with 0's and 1's, which makes EnCase useless and they have to get a high-tech version to clean out all the binary; but the only way for sure to wipe out your drive is to either reformat it and refill it with something else (hard to do with a terabyte drive); or destroy it. I'd recommend drilling a hole through the drives, which makes them unreadable; but other people swear by dismantling the drive and cutting up the disk heads, or various types of acid.
 
2010-07-09 09:05:58 PM  

elins'9iron: sk8r: Help us, O Great One! I have a friend who does forensics in the banking industry and he told me that unless the hard drive is totally- physically- destroyed, he can find everything I've ever done on my computer

I respectfully disagree with your friends comment. I have watched enough CSI to realize the law can recover every thing from your hard drive even if it has been reduced to a piece of ash the size of a pin head.

/they can't lie on television. It's in the Constitution


I'm farked. Great. LOL
 
2010-07-09 09:09:48 PM  
Way to farking go, Whitewabbit. I can't believe this still gets bites.

+1
 
2010-07-09 09:13:18 PM  

Whitewabbit: If you want to cover your tracks, the best advice I can give you is to not do anything that requires wiping.


This is good advice while bear hunting.
 
2010-07-09 09:14:14 PM  
i half expected WhiteWabbit to answer with 'delete system32'
 
2010-07-09 09:15:03 PM  

Whitewabbit:

//Yeah, clear the history and the cache afterwards and we're utterly helpless, like turtles on our backs.


How are you with a full "include blank space" restore to the previous week?
 
2010-07-09 09:16:20 PM  

Gyrfalcon: MeatWrangler: Whitewabbit: I work in computer forensics; So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about. But trust me.... You don't. I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about. This is how bad info gets passed around. If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do. Cos some fark readers believe anything they hear.

/ive always wanted to do that.

//Yeah, clear the history and the cache afterwards and we're utterly helpless, like turtles on our backs.

Enlighten us or STFU.

There's a handy forensic program called EnCase; you've seen it dramatized on CSI. EnCase takes everything ever recorded on your hard drive and reads it out keystroke by keystroke. It doesn't matter if you clear your cache or delete your email; everything that was ever on your drive is still there unless or until it gets overwritten. (Norton Utilities makes a forensic program that does the same thing). You used to be able to get the same kind of readout via DOS; but EnCase breaks it out into words and documents.

You can zero out your drive and fill in all the empty spaces with 0's and 1's, which makes EnCase useless and they have to get a high-tech version to clean out all the binary; but the only way for sure to wipe out your drive is to either reformat it and refill it with something else (hard to do with a terabyte drive); or destroy it. I'd recommend drilling a hole through the drives, which makes them unreadable; but other people swear by dismantling the drive and cutting up the disk heads, or various types of acid.


The best thing in the world is the good ol keystroke capture device. I've had the same one for years. Use it to spot check on the teens. 99% of their stuff is idiotic- hurts the brain to read it. The other 1% is concerning and I've stepped in a few times for their safety. I've been honest about telling them I check on them- they have gone insane trying to figure out how. They keystroke capture device is in plain sight- they have spent hours trying to find my spyware. LOL

Now that they are migrating onto laptops, I'll have to change my MO. EnCase Hmmmmmmm.....
 
2010-07-09 09:17:35 PM  

anti-cripes: i half expected WhiteWabbit to answer with 'delete system32'


ah hell, is it too late to change my answer?

btw, encase is a lovely program, but dont forget the alternatives, and examiner skill does count for something :P
 
2010-07-09 09:18:25 PM  
Oh, and about the "how do I burn down a house" thing - just come to Fark and ask. I went to breaking-peoples-crap school on your tax dime, you ought to get some back.

Ok - here's the secret that arson investigators Don't Want You To Know: Fritos.
 
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