FARK.com: (5473364) Finally, a Fatwa issued that doesn't involve stoning people to death, or cutting off hands, and it's a Fatwa that I think everyone can agree is a good thing

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(Some Guy)		Finally, a Fatwa issued that doesn't involve stoning people to death, or cutting off hands, and it's a Fatwa that I think everyone can agree is a good thing (thenational.ae)		85
		More: Amusing

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25431 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2010 at 6:21 AM | Favorite | share:

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rcain		2010-07-09 12:12:15 AM

FTFA: Fatwa decrees vuvuzela haram above 100 decibels

I'm torn on this... harems are great.
A harem with vuvuzelas... not so great.
But man, their lips must be in really muscular after all that blowing.
... do they stop the vuvuzela while you're boffing them?

Godscrack		2010-07-09 12:19:35 AM

I thought Fatwa was one of those energy drinks.

BKITU		2010-07-09 12:31:43 AM

Wait until they report it in Al Jazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeera!

GAT_00		2010-07-09 12:34:22 AM

GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

Wow, Gary got so scared of something Islamic he agreed with that he had to fall all the way back to blaming unions.

GreenAdder		2010-07-09 12:43:41 AM

I prefer orange Fatwa, but I know some people who drink the strawberry and grape ones.

GAT_00		2010-07-09 12:50:52 AM

GaryPDX: GAT_00: GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

Wow, Gary got so scared of something Islamic he agreed with that he had to fall all the way back to blaming unions.

Shuuudup, Scat GAT.

I'm going to take that as a proper "I got nothing" and move on.

Barakku		2010-07-09 12:55:33 AM

I KNEW it was going to be about those farking VuvuBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

GAT_00		2010-07-09 12:57:32 AM

GaryPDX: GAT_00: I'm going to take that as a proper "I got nothing" and move on.

You need to get a job or start a business. You're around here way too much.

386 over the last 15 days. How many do you have?

GAT_00		2010-07-09 01:14:58 AM

GaryPDX: GAT_00: GaryPDX: GAT_00: I'm going to take that as a proper "I got nothing" and move on.

You need to get a job or start a business. You're around here way too much.

386 over the last 15 days. How many do you have?

lol, it's not a contest.

I have my answer then. You post more than me.

kmmontandon		2010-07-09 01:24:29 AM

GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

Turtle.

Somacandra		2010-07-09 01:37:19 AM

Abdullaric Al-Romero: In general fatwas are religious opinions based in Islamic Jurisprudence (or Fiqh) issued by different Ulema that may or may not have the force of law depending on where they come from, who is issuing them, and whether anyone else cares.

Somacandra		2010-07-09 01:42:08 AM

FTFA: The authority added that, even if football stadiums were loud, fans must not harm others with their noise. "In any case, authorisation of the use of such horns is at the discretion of relevant authorities," it concluded.

i.imgur.com

21-7-b		2010-07-09 02:13:38 AM

the horn can spread disease

991.com

Sun God		2010-07-09 03:07:00 AM

Sometimes you have to roll with the Biko.

coco ebert		2010-07-09 05:35:02 AM

AHAAAAAHAAAA!!

Awesome.

coco ebert		2010-07-09 05:36:17 AM

GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

What. The. fark are you going on about? Must you troll every thread?

yarnothuntin		2010-07-09 06:23:51 AM

rcain: I'm torn on this... harems are great.
A harem with vuvuzelas... not so great.

You wanna know how I know you're gay?

Broken9754		2010-07-09 06:30:21 AM

fatwa number 11625

There are over 10,000 fatwas? That's a lot of fatwaing.

Arcanum		2010-07-09 06:32:12 AM

coco ebert: GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

What. The. fark are you going on about? Must you troll every thread?

You're just giving him exactly what he wanted. Not that you should really give a shiat, but this is what he was going for, of course. Welcome to fark.

---

I think this says something about the type of Islam that pays attention to this kind of ruling. If you need that much guidance in little things, how can you trust your decision to join that religion, a bigger thing?

yarnothuntin		2010-07-09 06:33:12 AM

Now, I'm pretty stupid, so fill me in here- are these vulvakazoos or whatever used all the time in South Africa, or is it just the World Cup that has brought them out in such numbers? If they're only used once in a while than a Fatwa is kind of dumb. It's like declaring a Fatwa on those silly noise makers everybody has on New Years right? You only use them on special occasions. Yes/no?

Prank Call of Cthulhu		2010-07-09 06:33:27 AM

John Cage 4'33", Vuvuzela cover (new window)

OnmyojiOmn		2010-07-09 06:36:46 AM

I see they finally found the Muslim outrage.

mypalmike		2010-07-09 06:40:17 AM

It's a religion of peace and quiet.

muck4doo		2010-07-09 06:42:20 AM

GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

GAT_00: GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

Wow, Gary got so scared of something Islamic he agreed with that he had to fall all the way back to blaming unions.

You two should get a room. Gat writes in teh sexy.

jso2897		2010-07-09 06:59:18 AM

muck4doo: GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

GAT_00: GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

Wow, Gary got so scared of something Islamic he agreed with that he had to fall all the way back to blaming unions.

You two should get a room. Gat writes in teh sexy.

It's reassuring to learn that I'm not the only one who wishes these two clowns would just consummate their relationship, already.

1-phenylpropan-2-amine		2010-07-09 07:02:16 AM

There are heaps of fatwa.
They're not ALL about death to America.

Day_Old_Dutchie		2010-07-09 07:04:19 AM

"I'm declaring a FATwa on FAT!"

flamingboard		2010-07-09 07:04:26 AM

If they outlaw vuvuzelas only outlaws will have vuvuzelas.

miss diminutive		2010-07-09 07:10:54 AM

UNC_Samurai		2010-07-09 07:16:51 AM

Obligatory (new window)

miss diminutive		2010-07-09 07:18:52 AM

UNC_Samurai: Obligatory (new window)

HA! Awesome.

FarkinNortherner		2010-07-09 07:20:23 AM

I are serious Farker: The Western media has characterised fatwas as indicating the intent to commit harm. In reality a fatwa is only binding on its author (think about what would happen if anyone trained in English common law could make laws that applied to Canada, the UK, America, New Zealand and Australia) and may be regarded as binding by those people who follow the mufti concerned.

That being said, who wouldn't want to see vuvuzela owners' lips sewn together?

Britney Spear's Speculum		2010-07-09 07:21:46 AM

GAT_00: Wow, Gary got so scared of something Islamic he agreed with that he had to fall all the way back to blaming unions.

You were expecting new rhetoric? You dolt.

lajimi		2010-07-09 07:27:16 AM

miss diminutive		2010-07-09 07:31:14 AM

FarkinNortherner: That being said, who wouldn't want to see vuvuzela owners' lips sewn together?

When the World Cup started I thought I was going to lose my mind listening to those things. Now that it's been about a month I'm ashamed to admit that I've gotten accustomed to the sound of them. It's eerily comforting in a way. Now, when I turn the tv on and wait those 2-3 seconds before the picture kicks in, I hear the vuvuzelas and know exactly what to expect.

dougfm		2010-07-09 07:37:48 AM

ODDwhun		2010-07-09 07:39:36 AM

GAT_00: GaryPDX: GAT_00: GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

Wow, Gary got so scared of something Islamic he agreed with that he had to fall all the way back to blaming unions.

Shuuudup, Scat GAT.

I'm going to take that as a proper "I got nothing" and move on.

I'm surprised. I thought Gary would approve of people trying to put a nix on those dolts blowing the horns.

Slaxl		2010-07-09 07:44:10 AM

I would like to see a list of a brief description of all those fatwas. I may get bored and give up after the first 12 or so but it might be interesting, you never know.

RyogAkari		2010-07-09 07:49:12 AM

Wanted for questioning.

sparkeyjames		2010-07-09 07:51:50 AM

ODDwhun: GAT_00: GaryPDX: GAT_00: GaryPDX: If "those people" keep blowing those weird horns, they will be policing outhouses.

Unions forever!

Wow, Gary got so scared of something Islamic he agreed with that he had to fall all the way back to blaming unions.

Shuuudup, Scat GAT.

I'm going to take that as a proper "I got nothing" and move on.

I'm surprised. I thought Gary would approve of people trying to put a nix on those dolts blowing the horns.

Why should he it's not an American sport after all. If he has watched even the coverage on Fox News of World Cup soccer I'd be surprised.

therealpope		2010-07-09 08:07:11 AM

vuvuzela- another gift to the world from Africa.

Harry Freakstorm		2010-07-09 08:07:59 AM

rcain FTFA: Fatwa decrees vuvuzela haram above 100 decibels

I'm torn on this... harems are great.
A harem with vuvuzelas... not so great.
But man, their lips must be in really muscular after all that blowing.
... do they stop the vuvuzela while you're boffing them?

Wow. I just came up with an idea for a porn movie even I wouldn't watch.

Gazangas with Vuvuzelas

Lady, I'm here from the cable....

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

And I gotta...

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Hey lady, can you do other things with that vuvuzela?

Bzzzzzzzzz.... oh yeah.

/and suddenly, the premise doesn't suck so much.

The Incredible Sexual Egg		2010-07-09 08:08:41 AM

lajimi

If those are pictures of that young man or of him at different rallies (and say, not just two with different angles), then he is in serious need of a girlfriend...or a D&D play group

LowbrowDeluxe		2010-07-09 08:08:46 AM

FarkinNortherner: I are serious Farker: The Western media has characterised fatwas as indicating the intent to commit harm. In reality a fatwa is only binding on its author (think about what would happen if anyone trained in English common law could make laws that applied to Canada, the UK, America, New Zealand and Australia) and may be regarded as binding by those people who follow the mufti concerned.

That being said, who wouldn't want to see vuvuzela owners' lips sewn together?

Pretty much agreed. They're even less binding than all that jewish dietary law that made it's way into the bible. And a lot of them have pretty much the same reason and impact. Basically just stuff an elder of the community is saying so idiots don't get themselves killed. Unfortunately for them all the important stuff like don't eat carrion, dig latrines away from habitation and water supplies, and all that has already been covered by previous generations, so all they've got left to talk about is things like this. Oh, and death to America.

The Incredible Sexual Egg		2010-07-09 08:10:08 AM

The Incredible Sexual Egg: lajimi

If those are pictures of that young man or are of him at different rallies (and say, not just two with different angles), then he is in serious need of a girlfriend...or a D&D play group

FTFM

radioman_		2010-07-09 08:12:34 AM

John Cage 4'33", Vuvuzela cover (new window)

I LOL'd. I did.

Sun God		2010-07-09 08:17:37 AM

I now like the horns. It's solace. You will never here those horns again.

oldpickupguy		2010-07-09 08:17:55 AM

ftfa:The General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowments' fatwa number 11625 has decreed that, above 100 decibel levels, the vuvuzela, clarion call of the World Cup, is haram.

If haram means a pain in the arse, I'm on board.

Sork		2010-07-09 08:22:42 AM

They should come with a pack of cigarettes, to decrease the lung capacity of the user.

Tentacle		2010-07-09 08:25:08 AM

rcain: FTFA: Fatwa decrees vuvuzela haram above 100 decibels

I'm torn on this... harems are great.
A harem with vuvuzelas... not so great.
But man, their lips must be in really muscular after all that blowing.
... do they stop the vuvuzela while you're boffing them?

not to mention "rusty vuvuzelas"

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