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(Orange News)   Never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey who owes you a favor   ( web.orange.co.uk) divider line
    More: Strange, the left leg, anti-inflammatory, monkeys, chickens, chicken in front  
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15179 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2010 at 10:38 AM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2010-07-07 08:02:28 AM  
DO NOT fap in front of the monkey
 
2010-07-07 08:18:38 AM  
It was a one-armed one-legged crazy monkey chicken killer
 
2010-07-07 08:21:35 AM  
rightfieldbleachers.comView Full Size
 
2010-07-07 08:29:08 AM  
[image from dl.dropbox.com too old to be available]
 
2010-07-07 08:39:24 AM  

jehovahs witness protection: DO NOT fap in front of the monkey


That might be just the distraction it needs.
 
2010-07-07 08:50:30 AM  
Well... that's a given
 
Pud
2010-07-07 08:54:59 AM  
And, never ...EVER let a monkey play with your pet frog. It ain't a pretty sight, and doesn't work out well for the frog.
 
2010-07-07 09:10:38 AM  
I love the Weeners in TFA: "He should spank it"
 
2010-07-07 09:11:29 AM  
And, yes, I love the Weeners, too.
 
2010-07-07 09:47:59 AM  

Pud: And, never ...EVER let a monkey play with your pet frog. It ain't a pretty sight, and doesn't work out well for the frog.


Yeah, but the monkey's happiness balances everything out. It's all a matter of Ka.
 
2010-07-07 10:43:20 AM  
I wonder if this monkey chokes these chickens?
 
2010-07-07 10:46:16 AM  
It walked in on us while I was making love to my wife. Now they exchange knowing looks at the dinner table. I'm a stranger in my own house.
 
2010-07-07 10:47:42 AM  
Monkey see, monkey do, biatches!

/used to have two pet Rhesus monkeys. Pets FROM HELL!
//awful awful creatures
 
2010-07-07 10:48:16 AM  
NEVER bang your wife in front of a monkey.
 
2010-07-07 10:53:36 AM  
...and when I told my mom about it she said "I told you to never trust a monkey!"

The end
 
2010-07-07 10:56:05 AM  
Monkey trifecta in play?
 
2010-07-07 10:57:10 AM  
i73.photobucket.comView Full Size


"Would you like to touch my monkey?"
 
2010-07-07 11:03:57 AM  
I thought it was sweet.

/awwwwwwww
 
2010-07-07 11:06:51 AM  
Monkey see monkey do.

I once let a monkey watch Larry King, and this is the result:

scrapetv.comView Full Size


I have NO idea where he got the glasses.
 
2010-07-07 11:09:06 AM  
Truly, words to live by, Subby.
 
2010-07-07 11:09:24 AM  
Li found the seriously injured monkey in a forest more than a year ago when it jumped into a basket on his back.

...

It helps look after Li's dog's puppies and even wiped away Li's tears when he was grieving the death of his father.




I really didn't know monkeys were capable of asking for help or helping others... kinda makes you wonder if maybe those who believe every living thing has a soul are right.
 
2010-07-07 11:09:25 AM  
Mostly visual shaggy dog joke about the new zookeeper, the gorilla, the knife and the banana in 4...3...2...
 
2010-07-07 11:09:37 AM  

Riche: Monkey see monkey do.

I once let a monkey watch Larry King, and this is the result:

I have NO idea where he got the glasses.


He kinda looks like Hugh Hefner with glasses.
 
2010-07-07 11:11:37 AM  
At first I thought, "The monkey has to go, one way or another."

Then I read, in the article:

" ... and even wiped away Li's tears when he was grieving the death of his father.

Li said: 'It sat besides me quietly and extended his only arm to wipe the tears on my face. He would softly pat my face and head, and look at me with great sympathy.'"

Now what the hell's the guy going to do?
 
2010-07-07 11:17:10 AM  

Goomba: Riche: Monkey see monkey do.

I once let a monkey watch Larry King, and this is the result:

I have NO idea where he got the glasses.

He kinda looks like Hugh Hefner with glasses.


That picture has the potential to become a meme classic.
 
2010-07-07 11:17:32 AM  

Fapinator: At first I thought, "The monkey has to go, one way or another."

Then I read, in the article:

" ... and even wiped away Li's tears when he was grieving the death of his father.

Li said: 'It sat besides me quietly and extended his only arm to wipe the tears on my face. He would softly pat my face and head, and look at me with great sympathy.'"

Now what the hell's the guy going to do?


The answer is clear, he must open a restaurant. Perhaps a Medicinal Fried Chicken
 
2010-07-07 11:25:22 AM  
Confucius say: "Girl who slides down bannister, makes monkey shine."

/got nothin'
 
2010-07-07 11:32:49 AM  
rangerland.netView Full Size


That's why you don't kill chickens in front of monkeys.
 
2010-07-07 11:33:44 AM  

Latinwolf:
That picture has the potential to become a meme classic.


I am not sure if you're kidding or not, but that pic has been around for a decade. It was on Worth1000's cliche list as "worn out" in 2003.

If you were kidding, cue "THAT'S THE JOKE!" picture here.
 
2010-07-07 11:34:43 AM  
img228.imageshack.usView Full Size


Two threads un vun day ist too much monkey touching.
 
2010-07-07 11:35:53 AM  
The monkey only has one arm and one leg. Why? Well you see, this monkey saved the farmer's life.....
 
2010-07-07 11:39:46 AM  
So...he just needs to take the top off of one hot woman in front of the monkey, set-up a web site, and he'll be able to buy all the chickens he wants.
 
2010-07-07 11:40:06 AM  
The man's wife, however, thinks the man could learn a thing or two from the monkey.
 
2010-07-07 11:40:21 AM  
Much to my surprise, the story was about chickens and a monkey.
 
2010-07-07 11:43:27 AM  

OregonVet: jehovahs witness protection: DO NOT fap in front of the monkey

That might be just the distraction it needs.


Confucius say: He who fap in front of monkey, never see the monkey's paw.
 
2010-07-07 11:44:25 AM  

HailRobonia: The monkey only has one arm and one leg. Why? Well you see, this monkey saved the farmer's life.....


And a monkey like that...well you just don't eat him all at once.
 
2010-07-07 11:44:30 AM  
Wait until you hear what it does to his wife.
 
2010-07-07 11:47:38 AM  

Okay Mister Smartypants: Latinwolf:
That picture has the potential to become a meme classic.

I am not sure if you're kidding or not, but that pic has been around for a decade. It was on Worth1000's cliche list as "worn out" in 2003.

If you were kidding, cue "THAT'S THE JOKE!" picture here.


I have actually never seen that pic before. You have a link to that worn out list?
 
2010-07-07 11:48:09 AM  
img819.imageshack.usView Full Size


Uploaded with ImageShack.us

oblig
 
2010-07-07 11:49:44 AM  
"He found the monkey's right leg and arm were rotten and . . . cut off the decayed limbs"

So, Lefty. Tell me more about your dad's monkey. The one that copies everything he does.
 
2010-07-07 11:51:26 AM  
Primates are very social and very smart. They form deep bonds and are learning machines. They might even dislike being tortured and being locked in cages.
 
2010-07-07 11:55:21 AM  

oryx: Much to my surprise, the story was about chickens and a monkey.


Indeed, who would have expected "Never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey who owes you a favor" would be one of the most succinct and accurate headlines in quite a while, much less based on an actual quote from TFA.
 
2010-07-07 11:56:34 AM  

apeiron242: Primates are very social and very smart. They form deep bonds and are learning machines. They might even dislike being tortured and being locked in cages.


So ball-gags are out?
 
2010-07-07 11:57:17 AM  

tuxq: Fapinator: At first I thought, "The monkey has to go, one way or another."

Then I read, in the article:

" ... and even wiped away Li's tears when he was grieving the death of his father.

Li said: 'It sat besides me quietly and extended his only arm to wipe the tears on my face. He would softly pat my face and head, and look at me with great sympathy.'"

Now what the hell's the guy going to do?

The answer is clear, he must open a restaurant. Perhaps a Medicinal Fried Chicken


buy more chicken
 
2010-07-07 11:57:18 AM  
"She had a monkey foot around her neck, and a three-legged monkey...that monkey didn't giver her NO trouble neither"

/Mudbone
 
2010-07-07 11:59:28 AM  
T-SHIRT PLEASE !!
 
2010-07-07 12:04:38 PM  
And that chainsaw juggling act you've been practicing - forget about it.
 
2010-07-07 12:08:37 PM  

trippdogg: And that chainsaw juggling act you've been practicing - forget about it.


Looks like the monkey was already practicing it.
 
2010-07-07 12:09:42 PM  

Latinwolf: Okay Mister Smartypants: Latinwolf:
That picture has the potential to become a meme classic.

I am not sure if you're kidding or not, but that pic has been around for a decade. It was on Worth1000's cliche list as "worn out" in 2003.

If you were kidding, cue "THAT'S THE JOKE!" picture here.

I have actually never seen that pic before. You have a link to that worn out list?


The Worth1000 cliche list has been revamped, and it no longer lists many specifics, but you can see on the wayback machine from October 2003:

http://web.archive.org/web/20031002014102/http://www.worth1000.com/faq​.asp#3


You can also just Google Image Search "glasses monkey" to see it's on every "L@@K @ T3H FUNNEEZ!" picture site ever made.
 
2010-07-07 12:23:56 PM  
You should never attempt to choke your chicken whilst spanking your monkey.
 
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