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(ABC2News Baltimore)   Ocean City, MD: Where you can feel the warm glow of the sun, the waves crashing at your feet, and an umbrella impaling you in the chest   (abc2news.com) divider line 73
    More: Scary, Ocean City, EMT, umbrellas  
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8276 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2010 at 12:53 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2010-06-30 11:02:54 AM
I'm thinking that on her next beach trip she won't be going by SPF factor to protect her skin, but by armor points.
 
2010-06-30 11:03:41 AM
Great work, Frenchy.
 
2010-06-30 11:04:33 AM
OK that was HUGE news here.
 
2010-06-30 11:06:01 AM
And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.
 
2010-06-30 12:50:14 PM
It's been a couple of years since I impaled anyone in OC.
 
2010-06-30 12:55:56 PM
i'm shocked this doesn't happen more often. people are to lazy to anchor them properly in the sand.

/put your back in to it slackers
 
2010-06-30 12:56:03 PM
Confucious say: when impaled in chest by umbrella, open your heart.
 
2010-06-30 12:56:37 PM
In defense of subby, I've been to Ocean CIty and a lot of the women's chests do hang down to their legs.
 
2010-06-30 12:57:06 PM
leg? LEG?! I've been lied to...by the subby!
Bad subby..bad!
 
2010-06-30 01:00:17 PM
Yeah, I've seen that happen. My folks had an old beach umbrella from the 60's. It had a big steel spike at the top. They took it out to the beach, a gust of wind picked it up, flew it through the air, and dropped it point-first into someone's inflatable raft.

Coulda' impaled someone just as easily.
 
2010-06-30 01:01:20 PM
I came here to clarify that it was the leg and not the chest but I see we've already covered that. Besides that, pics or it didn't happen.
 
2010-06-30 01:02:41 PM
Yikes! I'd hate to see the size of the drink it came out of.
 
2010-06-30 01:02:42 PM
Spent 4 years as an ocean lifeguard in NJ (insert guido reference here) and I saved more people from tumbling umbrellas than rip currents.

People are idiots, and this was a really cool story.
 
2010-06-30 01:04:03 PM
The last time I went to Ocean City, the judge banned me from Ocean City for life. Apparently, my weed-induced drunken behavior did not meet their behavioral requirements.

/true story 'bro
//still go back to take my daughter to the beach. I make my wife drive and I don't frequent the bars anymore. Which almost defeats the purpose, but it beats jail.
 
2010-06-30 01:04:17 PM
We need to start a Fark Poll to see who gets sued.
 
2010-06-30 01:04:17 PM
More fun than you can stake a chick at.
 
2010-06-30 01:07:23 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

Ah FARK, where tolerance is king, communication is civil, and dipshiats want preciseness for comedy.
 
2010-06-30 01:10:38 PM
ronaprhys: More fun than you can stake a chick at.

Aaaaaaaaand we're done.
 
2010-06-30 01:11:07 PM
mlfa 2010-06-30 01:04:17 PM
We need to start a Fark Poll to see who gets sued.


Hmmmm... 'spins wheel of lawsuit' I know, let's sue the wind!
Why not? It ties in perfectly with the list of increasingly dumb lawsuits.
 
2010-06-30 01:11:52 PM
redstick.files.wordpress.com
Suspect is still at large
 
2010-06-30 01:13:17 PM
buck like funnies: ronaprhys: More fun than you can stake a chick at.

Aaaaaaaaand we're done.


Not mine, BTW - from a few years ago and made it into the headline of the year contest, IIRC.
 
2010-06-30 01:13:23 PM
WTH is a red flag warning? (see scroll, top of page).
 
2010-06-30 01:14:56 PM
BelleCurve: frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

Ah FARK, where tolerance is king, communication is civil, and dipshiats want preciseness for comedy.


Is fark where commenters talk to themselves in their own comment?
 
2010-06-30 01:18:51 PM
Consequently, the demand for Dimmu Borgir umbrellas will suffer from this.
 
2010-06-30 01:19:09 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.
 
2010-06-30 01:19:41 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

What's a "chest retard"?

/the comma is your friend
 
2010-06-30 01:21:30 PM
zabadu: WTH is a red flag warning?

Generally either that there's high surf and people are not allowed in the water, or that the Soviets are coming to take over the beach resort. Not sure which it is in this case.
 
2010-06-30 01:24:09 PM
This is why I hate Ocean City. If it's not the flying rats stealing your fries, it's goddam rogue umbrellas.
 
2010-06-30 01:24:33 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: OK that was HUGE news here.

It's kinda a wierd thing really, I've been going to OC, MD (well neighboring Assateague Island actually) for a week every year for the last 40 years (since I was literally -2 weeks old), In that time I think I can actually recall about an even dozen "impaled by a beach umbrella incidents" You'd think a wildly improbably accident like that would be a bit more rare, but no...

In fact, I can recall less "wild pony killed by lightning" stories (which you would think happens fairly often given the number of A) ponies, B) lightning Storms and C) lack of taller object around them on a beach) which is a little strange
 
2010-06-30 01:25:45 PM
I'm going to Ocean City this weekend, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Or at least I would be if I didn't have a beach umbrella sticking out of my leg.
 
2010-06-30 01:25:58 PM
tmyk: Spent 4 years as an ocean lifeguard in NJ (insert guido reference here) and I saved more people from tumbling umbrellas than rip currents.

People are idiots, and this was a really cool story.


Was that you?! I live Down the Jersey Shore, and yes indeed, I've seen more near-impalings than I care to remember. Also: tanned cellulite and really hairy backs.
 
2010-06-30 01:27:31 PM
BMoreBeowulf: I'm going to Ocean City this weekend, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Or at least I would be if I didn't have a beach umbrella sticking out of my leg.


wear body armor.
 
2010-06-30 01:27:38 PM
zabadu: WTH is a red flag warning? (see scroll, top of page).

Potential big farking storm coming, IIRC red flag is storm with high winds, Flag with black circle is VERY High winds and Red triangle flag is get the fark of the beach NOW if you don't want to be blown two states away.
 
2010-06-30 01:28:16 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

Give the man some slack. maybe she was quadriplegic and her chest doubles as her leg?
 
2010-06-30 01:28:48 PM
Magorn: zabadu: WTH is a red flag warning? (see scroll, top of page).

Potential big farking storm coming, IIRC red flag is storm with high winds, Flag with black circle is VERY High winds and Red triangle flag is get the fark of the beach NOW if you don't want to be blown two states away.


So the rainbow flag still means gay beach, right?
 
2010-06-30 01:28:49 PM
this whole incident seems a bit shady
/here all week
 
2010-06-30 01:30:32 PM
If it was a personal umbrella, the owner is liable. If they rented it from the hottie umbrella girls at Steins, then Steins may be liable.
 
2010-06-30 01:30:47 PM
ronaprhys: More fun than you can stake a chick at.

LMAO. Brilliant.
 
2010-06-30 01:31:36 PM
Xenolith: frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

Give the man some slack. maybe she was quadriplegic and her chest doubles as her leg?


Lieutenant Danielle - you've got magical titties.

/I've installed a special program to make you read this and hear Forrest Gump's voice in your head.
 
2010-06-30 01:35:47 PM
Confucious say: when impaled in chest by umbrella, open your heart.

+1 I lol'd.
 
2010-06-30 01:35:58 PM
Go up the road about 10 or so miles and you'll get impaled by rogue male rig. Reho(mo)beth.
 
2010-06-30 01:36:31 PM
Sass-O-Rev: ronaprhys: More fun than you can stake a chick at.

LMAO. Brilliant.


More of a lucky memory. Here's the original headline:

Girl, 14, impaled while having fun with friends. More fun than you can stake a chick at (new window)
 
2010-06-30 01:39:21 PM
So, I guess God likes to play lawn darts.
 
2010-06-30 01:46:48 PM
Farkomatic: The last time I went to Ocean City, the judge banned me from Ocean City for life. Apparently, my weed-induced drunken behavior did not meet their behavioral requirements.

Wait, what? Did Ocean City change? Back when I was a young'un weed-induced drunken behavior was their behavioral requirement.
 
2010-06-30 01:59:21 PM
coeyagi: Go up the road about 10 or so miles and you'll get impaled by rogue male rig. Reho(mo)beth.

cripes, don't tell my mom-in-law that. she just bought a beachhouse there.

otoh, her gay grand-daughter might be digging this news.

i'm torn.
 
2010-06-30 02:05:12 PM
This happened on 48th Street and I live on 53rd Street so I'm getting a kick...
 
2010-06-30 02:11:04 PM
I wonder if Don Geronimo will talk about this on his show today; since he lives in OC.
 
2010-06-30 02:12:13 PM
unavailable for comment
sftv.info
 
2010-06-30 02:19:58 PM
In Ocean City, you either get speared on the beach by the flying umbrellas or swallowed by the humpback whales while wading in the surf.
 
2010-06-30 02:25:48 PM
www.novinite.com

Also unavailable for comment. (new window)

/did anybody bother to check the wound for "foreign particles"?
 
2010-06-30 02:34:44 PM
I just came in the thread to express my undying love for all that is trashy, dirty, greasy and unsanitary about Ocean City
 
2010-06-30 02:34:59 PM
Did Rodney the life guard save her?!?!
 
2010-06-30 02:38:23 PM
www.news.harvard.edu

Been there, done that.
 
2010-06-30 02:40:02 PM
Magorn: frenchcheesemuseum: OK that was HUGE news here.

It's kinda a wierd thing really, I've been going to OC, MD (well neighboring Assateague Island actually) for a week every year for the last 40 years (since I was literally -2 weeks old), In that time I think I can actually recall about an even dozen "impaled by a beach umbrella incidents" You'd think a wildly improbably accident like that would be a bit more rare, but no...

In fact, I can recall less "wild pony killed by lightning" stories (which you would think happens fairly often given the number of A) ponies, B) lightning Storms and C) lack of taller object around them on a beach) which is a little strange


On the contrary. Beach umbrellas have a bottom weighted pointy part, and they're commonly put in the sand in areas where gusts on regular days can commonly top 40 or 50 miles per hour. It's amazing it doesn't happen MORE often.

/Former lifeguard
//Seen many many many flying umbrellas.
 
2010-06-30 02:40:34 PM
I used to rent out those big wooden umbrellas in OCMD so I'm really getting a stick out of these replies.
 
2010-06-30 02:45:09 PM
omg i did too Scubachisteve !!! for some crazy lady. i mean all the locals are like that. but she was extra
 
2010-06-30 02:47:12 PM
Magorn: I've been going to OC, MD (well neighboring Assateague Island actually)

The ONLY good thing about Ocean City is that Assateague isn't far away.
 
2010-06-30 02:51:40 PM
coffee fiend: I wonder if Don Geronimo will talk about this on his show today; since he lives in OC.

Don Geronimo still has a show somewhere? I thought he rode off into retirement a few years back after his wife was killed
 
2010-06-30 02:56:55 PM
MAYORBOB: In Ocean City, you either get speared on the beach by the flying umbrellas or swallowed by the humpback whales while wading in the surf.

I saw that whale swim right by as I was stepping on the scale at Brass Balls Saloon to weigh-in for my Pro MMA fight last week.

First one I've ever seen in over 20 years.
 
2010-06-30 03:19:46 PM
TheyCallMeC0WB0Y: MAYORBOB: In Ocean City, you either get speared on the beach by the flying umbrellas or swallowed by the humpback whales while wading in the surf.

I saw that whale swim right by as I was stepping on the scale at Brass Balls Saloon to weigh-in for my Pro MMA fight last week.

First one I've ever seen in over 20 years.


It's not unusual to catch migrating pods down there in the winter (if you've never been beach camping in the winter it's an experience I highly recoomend, the solitude is amazing- and it's cool to see the foam on the waves literally break off and go rolling down the beach as the waves hit) but In the summer, I can only ever recall pods of dolphins that are far enough out to need a kayak or surfboard to reach. OTOH MD's record shark, a 350lb bull shark, was caught inthe Assawoman bay just off the southern tip of OC
 
2010-06-30 03:19:51 PM
Yeah, I was there Monday and it was windy as hell. Our umbrella blew off too.

/Cool story bro.
 
2010-06-30 04:01:57 PM
TheyCallMeC0WB0Y: MAYORBOB: In Ocean City, you either get speared on the beach by the flying umbrellas or swallowed by the humpback whales while wading in the surf.

I saw that whale swim right by as I was stepping on the scale at Brass Balls Saloon to weigh-in for my Pro MMA fight last week.

First one I've ever seen in over 20 years.


26 minutes before weigh in?
 
2010-06-30 04:03:12 PM
Let's be honest, no story is ever going to beat this one in terms of "Reasons to not visit Ocean City, MD".

There was also something a few years ago where a kid got electrocuted by leaning against a light pole (on the boardwalk I think?).

Good times though, loved that place. Read my first few Vonnegut books while visiting family down there, then thought I saw Vonnegut driving a bus and yelling at people doing flips in the back. Didn't drink at the time, myself.
 
2010-06-30 04:16:49 PM
rFarke: TheyCallMeC0WB0Y: MAYORBOB: In Ocean City, you either get speared on the beach by the flying umbrellas or swallowed by the humpback whales while wading in the surf.

I saw that whale swim right by as I was stepping on the scale at Brass Balls Saloon to weigh-in for my Pro MMA fight last week.

First one I've ever seen in over 20 years.

26 minutes before weigh in?


No dude, RIGHT WHEN I was weighing-in. Not before.
 
2010-06-30 04:41:19 PM
Subby: Ocean City, MD: Where you can feel the warm glow of the sun, the waves crashing at your feet, and an umbrella impaling you in the chest
==============================================

FTA:According to the beach patrol a strong gust of wind picked the umbrella up out of the ground and when it came down it ended up stabbing the woman in the leg.

Subby, it stabbed her in the leg!
 
2010-06-30 05:48:27 PM
CygnusDarius: /Couldn't find a better quality image

i45.tinypic.com

It's in the bone...
 
2010-06-30 05:51:13 PM
Magorn: coffee fiend: I wonder if Don Geronimo will talk about this on his show today; since he lives in OC.

Don Geronimo still has a show somewhere? I thought he rode off into retirement a few years back after his wife was killed


I didn't know this but apparently he just started a new show in Sacramento - from his wikipedia page (new window):

On June 21, 2010, Geronimo began hosting "The Don Geronimo Show" on CBS Radio's Sports 1140 KHTK in Sacramento, CA
 
2010-06-30 06:09:17 PM
www.batbase.com.br

/Batman never found me
 
2010-06-30 09:23:51 PM
Marshmallow Jones: zabadu: WTH is a red flag warning?

Generally either that there's high surf and people are not allowed in the water, or that the Soviets are coming to take over the beach resort. Not sure which it is in this case.


Means, "BEWARE OF ZOMBIE UMBRELLAS! ATTACKS ARE ON THE RISE!" or something to that effect, actually.

/Umbrellas don't kill people, people kill people.. and until we remove the ability for people to get a hold of an umbrella, none of us are safe.
 
2010-06-30 11:32:54 PM
As a resident of Ocean City, I can safely say this is the first I've actually heard about this. I'm surprised it actually made the news. Our town does a good job of suppressing any bad information that could hurt our image. There are a whole three sentences about it on the local news' website. I guess since it was a freak accident and nothing bad will come of it they figured it was ok to print.
 
2010-07-01 12:15:26 AM
I was on the beach that day. I didn't think it was that windy to impale someone with an umbrella!
 
2010-07-01 10:42:39 AM
BelleCurve: frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

Ah FARK, where tolerance is king, communication is civil, and dipshiats want preciseness for comedy.


If by "preciseness" you mean precision, then yes. That would be helpful.
 
2010-07-01 06:24:23 PM
AfroX: Magorn: coffee fiend: I wonder if Don Geronimo will talk about this on his show today; since he lives in OC.

Don Geronimo still has a show somewhere? I thought he rode off into retirement a few years back after his wife was killed

I didn't know this but apparently he just started a new show in Sacramento - from his wikipedia page (new window):

On June 21, 2010, Geronimo began hosting "The Don Geronimo Show" on CBS Radio's Sports 1140 KHTK in Sacramento, CA


Yup. Right now, he's doing the show 3 weeks in OC(from his house), and one week in Sac. He says that within 6-7 months, he and his new wife will relocate to Sacramento, and there are hopes the show will be syndicated somewhere down the line.
 
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