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(ABC2News Baltimore)   Ocean City, MD: Where you can feel the warm glow of the sun, the waves crashing at your feet, and an umbrella impaling you in the chest   (abc2news.com) divider line 73
    More: Scary, Ocean City, EMT, umbrellas  
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8276 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2010 at 12:53 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-06-30 11:02:54 AM
I'm thinking that on her next beach trip she won't be going by SPF factor to protect her skin, but by armor points.
 
2010-06-30 11:03:41 AM
Great work, Frenchy.
 
2010-06-30 11:04:33 AM
OK that was HUGE news here.
 
2010-06-30 11:06:01 AM
And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.
 
2010-06-30 12:50:14 PM
It's been a couple of years since I impaled anyone in OC.
 
2010-06-30 12:55:56 PM
i'm shocked this doesn't happen more often. people are to lazy to anchor them properly in the sand.

/put your back in to it slackers
 
2010-06-30 12:56:03 PM
Confucious say: when impaled in chest by umbrella, open your heart.
 
2010-06-30 12:56:37 PM
In defense of subby, I've been to Ocean CIty and a lot of the women's chests do hang down to their legs.
 
2010-06-30 12:57:06 PM
leg? LEG?! I've been lied to...by the subby!
Bad subby..bad!
 
2010-06-30 01:00:17 PM
Yeah, I've seen that happen. My folks had an old beach umbrella from the 60's. It had a big steel spike at the top. They took it out to the beach, a gust of wind picked it up, flew it through the air, and dropped it point-first into someone's inflatable raft.

Coulda' impaled someone just as easily.
 
2010-06-30 01:01:20 PM
I came here to clarify that it was the leg and not the chest but I see we've already covered that. Besides that, pics or it didn't happen.
 
2010-06-30 01:02:41 PM
Yikes! I'd hate to see the size of the drink it came out of.
 
2010-06-30 01:02:42 PM
Spent 4 years as an ocean lifeguard in NJ (insert guido reference here) and I saved more people from tumbling umbrellas than rip currents.

People are idiots, and this was a really cool story.
 
2010-06-30 01:04:03 PM
The last time I went to Ocean City, the judge banned me from Ocean City for life. Apparently, my weed-induced drunken behavior did not meet their behavioral requirements.

/true story 'bro
//still go back to take my daughter to the beach. I make my wife drive and I don't frequent the bars anymore. Which almost defeats the purpose, but it beats jail.
 
2010-06-30 01:04:17 PM
We need to start a Fark Poll to see who gets sued.
 
2010-06-30 01:04:17 PM
More fun than you can stake a chick at.
 
2010-06-30 01:07:23 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

Ah FARK, where tolerance is king, communication is civil, and dipshiats want preciseness for comedy.
 
2010-06-30 01:10:38 PM
ronaprhys: More fun than you can stake a chick at.

Aaaaaaaaand we're done.
 
2010-06-30 01:11:07 PM
mlfa 2010-06-30 01:04:17 PM
We need to start a Fark Poll to see who gets sued.


Hmmmm... 'spins wheel of lawsuit' I know, let's sue the wind!
Why not? It ties in perfectly with the list of increasingly dumb lawsuits.
 
2010-06-30 01:11:52 PM
redstick.files.wordpress.com
Suspect is still at large
 
2010-06-30 01:13:17 PM
buck like funnies: ronaprhys: More fun than you can stake a chick at.

Aaaaaaaaand we're done.


Not mine, BTW - from a few years ago and made it into the headline of the year contest, IIRC.
 
2010-06-30 01:13:23 PM
WTH is a red flag warning? (see scroll, top of page).
 
2010-06-30 01:14:56 PM
BelleCurve: frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

Ah FARK, where tolerance is king, communication is civil, and dipshiats want preciseness for comedy.


Is fark where commenters talk to themselves in their own comment?
 
2010-06-30 01:18:51 PM
Consequently, the demand for Dimmu Borgir umbrellas will suffer from this.
 
2010-06-30 01:19:09 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.
 
2010-06-30 01:19:41 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

What's a "chest retard"?

/the comma is your friend
 
2010-06-30 01:21:30 PM
zabadu: WTH is a red flag warning?

Generally either that there's high surf and people are not allowed in the water, or that the Soviets are coming to take over the beach resort. Not sure which it is in this case.
 
2010-06-30 01:24:09 PM
This is why I hate Ocean City. If it's not the flying rats stealing your fries, it's goddam rogue umbrellas.
 
2010-06-30 01:24:33 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: OK that was HUGE news here.

It's kinda a wierd thing really, I've been going to OC, MD (well neighboring Assateague Island actually) for a week every year for the last 40 years (since I was literally -2 weeks old), In that time I think I can actually recall about an even dozen "impaled by a beach umbrella incidents" You'd think a wildly improbably accident like that would be a bit more rare, but no...

In fact, I can recall less "wild pony killed by lightning" stories (which you would think happens fairly often given the number of A) ponies, B) lightning Storms and C) lack of taller object around them on a beach) which is a little strange
 
2010-06-30 01:25:45 PM
I'm going to Ocean City this weekend, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Or at least I would be if I didn't have a beach umbrella sticking out of my leg.
 
2010-06-30 01:25:58 PM
tmyk: Spent 4 years as an ocean lifeguard in NJ (insert guido reference here) and I saved more people from tumbling umbrellas than rip currents.

People are idiots, and this was a really cool story.


Was that you?! I live Down the Jersey Shore, and yes indeed, I've seen more near-impalings than I care to remember. Also: tanned cellulite and really hairy backs.
 
2010-06-30 01:27:31 PM
BMoreBeowulf: I'm going to Ocean City this weekend, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Or at least I would be if I didn't have a beach umbrella sticking out of my leg.


wear body armor.
 
2010-06-30 01:27:38 PM
zabadu: WTH is a red flag warning? (see scroll, top of page).

Potential big farking storm coming, IIRC red flag is storm with high winds, Flag with black circle is VERY High winds and Red triangle flag is get the fark of the beach NOW if you don't want to be blown two states away.
 
2010-06-30 01:28:16 PM
frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

Give the man some slack. maybe she was quadriplegic and her chest doubles as her leg?
 
2010-06-30 01:28:48 PM
Magorn: zabadu: WTH is a red flag warning? (see scroll, top of page).

Potential big farking storm coming, IIRC red flag is storm with high winds, Flag with black circle is VERY High winds and Red triangle flag is get the fark of the beach NOW if you don't want to be blown two states away.


So the rainbow flag still means gay beach, right?
 
2010-06-30 01:28:49 PM
this whole incident seems a bit shady
/here all week
 
2010-06-30 01:30:32 PM
If it was a personal umbrella, the owner is liable. If they rented it from the hottie umbrella girls at Steins, then Steins may be liable.
 
2010-06-30 01:30:47 PM
ronaprhys: More fun than you can stake a chick at.

LMAO. Brilliant.
 
2010-06-30 01:31:36 PM
Xenolith: frenchcheesemuseum: And I think it was her leg not her chest retard.

Give the man some slack. maybe she was quadriplegic and her chest doubles as her leg?


Lieutenant Danielle - you've got magical titties.

/I've installed a special program to make you read this and hear Forrest Gump's voice in your head.
 
2010-06-30 01:35:47 PM
Confucious say: when impaled in chest by umbrella, open your heart.

+1 I lol'd.
 
2010-06-30 01:35:58 PM
Go up the road about 10 or so miles and you'll get impaled by rogue male rig. Reho(mo)beth.
 
2010-06-30 01:36:31 PM
Sass-O-Rev: ronaprhys: More fun than you can stake a chick at.

LMAO. Brilliant.


More of a lucky memory. Here's the original headline:

Girl, 14, impaled while having fun with friends. More fun than you can stake a chick at (new window)
 
2010-06-30 01:39:21 PM
So, I guess God likes to play lawn darts.
 
2010-06-30 01:46:48 PM
Farkomatic: The last time I went to Ocean City, the judge banned me from Ocean City for life. Apparently, my weed-induced drunken behavior did not meet their behavioral requirements.

Wait, what? Did Ocean City change? Back when I was a young'un weed-induced drunken behavior was their behavioral requirement.
 
2010-06-30 01:59:21 PM
coeyagi: Go up the road about 10 or so miles and you'll get impaled by rogue male rig. Reho(mo)beth.

cripes, don't tell my mom-in-law that. she just bought a beachhouse there.

otoh, her gay grand-daughter might be digging this news.

i'm torn.
 
2010-06-30 02:05:12 PM
This happened on 48th Street and I live on 53rd Street so I'm getting a kick...
 
2010-06-30 02:11:04 PM
I wonder if Don Geronimo will talk about this on his show today; since he lives in OC.
 
2010-06-30 02:12:13 PM
unavailable for comment
sftv.info
 
2010-06-30 02:19:58 PM
In Ocean City, you either get speared on the beach by the flying umbrellas or swallowed by the humpback whales while wading in the surf.
 
2010-06-30 02:25:48 PM
www.novinite.com

Also unavailable for comment. (new window)

/did anybody bother to check the wound for "foreign particles"?
 
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