NoDitchDigging: Did Egon ever drill a hole into his head to directly pour the coffee into?

That would've worked if you hadn't stopped him!

daveydave: RatMaster999:
Now give me a large coffee with cream and sugar.

Don't you mean "tall"? Uhg, you sicken me. 2% TRAIN COMING!!!fark you! I ordered cream! Half and half I can accept, but 2% earns you a hose beating. I'll kill your mother if you dare try to give me skim or soy milk, and by God, I'll know the difference.

I am a barista; I don't have these problems. Except for maybe the novel crowd.

lerxst2112 [TotalFark]

-btw it is called up-selling and many corporations force their employees to indulge in it.

Imagine the stick up that barista's ass represents how pathetic his life is.

It would be a stick 35 feet long and weighing 600 pounds.

hot water, french press, fark.

There's a reason why i don't work in customer service. But neither should that blogger.

Sygonus: FTA: "Needless use of the lingo."

Try telling that to the barista who corrected me when I said "medium" instead of "grande".

This.

I have ALWAYS gotten corrected if I didn't use the correct lingo. To the point where it makes me nervous that I'm going to screw up and look stupid to the effing barista.

Lol at coffee barista. It would take a HUGE douche to be hired.

For about ten years I was a bartender. I generally worked in insanely busy clubs and bars and most certainly put up with more Crazy than any Starbucks employee.

But you know what? I never asked to be called by a fancy name! It's just "bartender." Not "mixologist," not "party director." Just "bartender."

So why aren't baristas simply "counter person?" I'm honestly curious. If someone gives me a good answer, I'll start calling my mechanic a "transport diagnostician."

It amazes me that people don't have a little more sympathy for service industry workers. Maybe its just me, but I don't want to fark with the people that can fark with my food. They are underpaid, overstressed, and have a lot of demands placed upon them by corporate rules that make no sense in the real world.

The All-Powerful Atheismo: You know usually it's the baristas that get annoyed when I ask for a "medium", not the other way around, and who insist on saying "you mean a grande?"

to which I reply "yes, a MEDIUM."

/I don't use that faux lingo crap. IT COMES IN SMALL MEDIUM OR LARGE.

I hate those places that only offer "Medium," "Large," or "Extra Large."

Okay look, I also happen to work for "a successful coffee company from the Seattle area", and this guy does not represent the average barista that I have come across.

Any customer service job has downsides sometimes, but there are also fun parts - particularly if you enjoy working with people, which clearly Egon does not. If someone must whine, biatch, and complain about something so asinine as how a customer places an order or that the customer is showing interest in what we do, then that individual is a selfish fark that does not see past his own wants.

Please do not hold "egon" as an example of your average barista at that company. Many are not spoiled human beings, and many genuinely enjoy people. You could not remain in that company otherwise.

LordZorch: Further proof that your average Starbucks barista needs his teeth knocked out with a lead pipe.

Yeah, we get it, you're too smart and sophisticated to be serving coffee to the masses. Most of which are generally better educated than said barista and have managed to find a real job.

Now, go take your degree in comparative 3rd world performance art and make me a farking mocha...

I promise I'm more educated and make more than you, and people like you embarrass me. How the hell did the barista in question claim to be smart? It's a low paying job and you're there to give people coffee, not make them feel sophisticated. I worked at a golf course and at mcdonalds when I was young - I also now work at a job with a high salary and in a privileged position. I will never forget how I was treated, and with all due respect to you, any time you work with somebody in the service industry, be concise, be friendly, tip well, and get the fark out. It is a complete fallacy to suggest that people in service industry are paid well enough be able to look the other way when they are treated like idiots.

Yes, I am that guy who tells my friends at the table not to farking make a scene or biatch or whine. That is just looking for things to complain about. If my server understands that I know that their job is hard and thankless, they are likely to treat the next customer better. It's only the idiots who think that their behaviour doesn't ensure the next person doesn't get the same apathy. Be nice. It's not complicated. It goes around, and those who don't believe that simply are looking for ways to feel special. I don't have problems with those at the bottom of the employment barrel asking for some simple human decency.

1.) Needless use of the lingo.

I'm paid barely enough to refer to a "medium" as a "grande." You have no farking excuses to call that medium coffee a "grande bold."


And it was Starbucks that started that pretentious bullshiat to begin with. When I am forced to order at Starbucks for lack of alternatives I ask for "medium" and stare blankly when they come back at me with foreign words.

2.) Using the order as a way to showcase the useless knowledge of coffee you have received from some other dumbass barista.

I don't want to hear about the "hints of cinnamon" you can detect in the Ethiopan blend.


I'm surprised anyone can taste anything over the more-than-a-hint of burnt jet fuel in every cup. The only Starbucks stuff that is tolerable are the things where the horrid coffee is sufficiently cut that you can't taste it.

As far as the hint of birch bark or whatever... Wine, chocolate, and now coffee? I think tongue-snobbery is just bullshiat that people hear and repeat. And if it is real, then clearly they are trying too hard. Can these people not see a forest for the trees? Do you stare at your TV so close you can see the individual pixels? "Ooh, that one's a nice chartreuse. Hey, I wonder if the gamut on this thing is all it could be?"

jaytkay: Great Janitor: I also don't tip at Starbucks.

Does anybody? Fark that.

They have that tip jar and there was that big deal a few years ago about the tip jar. Managers were keeping the majority of it while giving almost none of it to the staff. Which is yet another reason not to tip at Starbucks.

I've gotten coffe at starbucks about 5 times. Blech. I make better coffee than that at home.

Stay Cool Babylon: For about ten years I was a bartender. I generally worked in insanely busy clubs and bars and most certainly put up with more Crazy than any Starbucks employee.

But you know what? I never asked to be called by a fancy name! It's just "bartender." Not "mixologist," not "party director." Just "bartender."

So why aren't baristas simply "counter person?" I'm honestly curious. If someone gives me a good answer, I'll start calling my mechanic a "transport diagnostician."

hate speech

I prefer the taste of 2% in coffee, but I'd rather have the fat content of skim milk. Or, at least, I'd rather think that I'm drinking something healthy for me. so if she puts in 2% and tells me it's skim, I'll be much happier...

Great Janitor: I also don't tip at Starbucks. Why should I? They don't deliver to where I'm sitting, they just call my name out and I order a Tea, Earl Grey, Hot. Honestly, how much of a tip do you want for putting a tea bag into a cup of hot water? Actually, how much of a tip do you deserve for putting a tea bag into a cup of hot water?

I tip when I see the barrista fairly often. If it's one that I go to every day or every other day, then I feel that my tip is part of my building a repertoire with that person.

Urda Quote 2010-06-28 09:30:38 PM
Wow author is 100% biatch. It's your farking job, do it. Perhaps if you had a real education you wouldn't be serving me up a 3rd cup of coffee as I rounded off more of my engineering assignments and projects.

/I don't give a rat's ass if you are a liberal art major
//stfu and do your JOB

Yup.

The writer sounds like OccamsChainsaw.

Hates having to work and hates the people he has to work with.

GreenAdder: Lagoon: barista

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

By barista, I mean the people actually working behind the counter inside the stores.

1.) Needless use of the lingo.

I'm paid barely enough to refer to a "medium" as a "grande." You have no farking excuses to call that medium coffee a "grande bold."

I used to order a medium black coffee. I now order "grande bold, no cream" because this apparently doesn't convey enough information and requires follow-up questions.

"Medium" means the clerk must verify that I wanted the size that is smaller than the "vente" and, inexplicably, taller than the "tall". You know, the one in the middle.

"black" has no farking meaning in the Starbucks universe. Every one of them asks if I want room for cream. Even the one who has taken my order every morning for the last two years and knows my name.

"coffee" doesn't work either, because they have two options: the "bold" or the "mild". No point remembering the name of the coffee either, because they rotate them. Presumably because our delicate palates can detect the subtle differences between one type of scorched bean and another.

So fark you, I'm using the lingo. Resistance is futile.

Stay Cool Babylon: For about ten years I was a bartender. I generally worked in insanely busy clubs and bars and most certainly put up with more Crazy than any Starbucks employee.

But you know what? I never asked to be called by a fancy name! It's just "bartender." Not "mixologist," not "party director." Just "bartender."

So why aren't baristas simply "counter person?" I'm honestly curious. If someone gives me a good answer, I'll start calling my mechanic a "transport diagnostician."

I would guess it's part of the company's image: gourmet, European-style, luxury, elite coffee. It always seemed to me that the company had an identity crisis: they want gourmet quality at fast-food speed. Keep the lines moving but engage each customer. And so on. So calling the counter person "barista" plays into that image.

/former "counter person"-- not going to relate any anecdotes about customers for fear of fueling the service-person hatefest/

Stay Cool Babylon: So why aren't baristas simply "counter person?" I'm honestly curious. If someone gives me a good answer, I'll start calling my mechanic a "transport diagnostician."

On the flip side, what customer has ever directly referred to someone behind the counter at Starbucks as "barista"? You don't have to say a damn thing, they greet you, you simply give your order, and say "thanks" when you pay them.

Now, if social norms made us address the person as "dear barista" before ordering...I'm grabbing a pitchfork and lining up right behind you.

I remember an episode of Judge Judy where the judge asked the defendant what was her occupation and she replied "I'm a barista." Now everyone in the courtroom got hush because they all thought she said "Barrister." So then Judge Judy clarified and asked her what does she do and she responded "I just serve coffee." The whole courtroom burst out laughing.

The English Major: FTFA: Egon, an old friend of mine, currently works as a Starbucks barista.

His supervisor is Vince Clortho.

You win 1 internets. Good jerb.

You know what? Until recently, I was unemployed for nearly a year. If being a barista was so awful, I would had gladly taken that job.

I have worked a lot of shiatty service-industry jobs in the past, and I never let it get under my skin like this idiot does.

The English Major: FTFA: Egon, an old friend of mine, currently works as a Starbucks barista.

His supervisor is Vince Clortho.

Funny, I thought it was Vigo the Carpathian.

What's the average career duration for a barista? Because every time I go to the Starbucks down the street the faces are different.

Lagoon: Okay look, I also happen to work for "a successful coffee company from the Seattle area", and this guy does not represent the average barista that I have come across.

Any customer service job has downsides sometimes, but there are also fun parts - particularly if you enjoy working with people, which clearly Egon does not. If someone must whine, biatch, and complain about something so asinine as how a customer places an order or that the customer is showing interest in what we do, then that individual is a selfish fark that does not see past his own wants.

Please do not hold "egon" as an example of your average barista at that company. Many are not spoiled human beings, and many genuinely enjoy people. You could not remain in that company otherwise.

I think we call this self-respect. While you may take a personal interest in making beverages, I find it difficult to believe that if it is such a personal interest, you choose to do it at Starbucks. It's difficult not to empathize with his point that it is far more of a corporate brand machine than it is an actual place for coffee connoisseurs.

I do like people, I'm extremely patient with them, and it's why I can empathize with those points. You don't have to think everyone has something to other, and in those cases, those people should be able to take the hint and run with the social grease. I think most of those complaints were about folks who just need to make a scene - in which case, I'm far more comfortable with somebody doing that anonymously and continuing to do their job than somebody who shows up for a coffee and has absolutely no need to be accountable for wanting attention.

Of course, we all like to be interesting - and some customers genuinely are. The rub is when people abuse the concept of the customer is always right. That is simply not true, and folks who think its inherently wrong to turn around and have a little fun venting are stuck the fark up. I vent all the time, and I love customers. Some of them are annoying as fark, but I still love them because they let me break down the annoying crap they do. It's win win for us all.

But if you're an asshole, you're an asshole. There is a line, and I didn't feel like she/he was crossing it at the outer edges of his points.

Link (new window-NSFW Language!)

Molavian: We should start calling them coffee jerks.

FTFY

The English Major: FTFA: Egon, an old friend of mine, currently works as a Starbucks barista.

His supervisor is Vince Clortho.



You wanted non-fat?
CHOOSE YOUR DESTRUCTOR!

JNowe: "black" has no farking meaning in the Starbucks universe. Every one of them asks if I want room for cream. Even the one who has taken my order every morning for the last two years and knows my name.

Blame the other many drooling morons who order "a small black coffee, with 5 sugars and some whip cream." Punch someone in the face everytime you hear them say something like this. Then your baristas won't have to clarify anything like that for you.

"coffee" doesn't work either, because they have two options: the "bold" or the "mild". No point remembering the name of the coffee either, because they rotate them. Presumably because our delicate palates can detect the subtle differences between one type of scorched bean and another.

Yes, you see, coffee comes in different strengths and flavors beyond "coffee". Many people can taste and appreciate the differences and so the distinctions exist. Future reference: Pike Place is always mild. If you like stronger coffee, don't get that. Simple.


Oh and to the rest of the typical "Waaah Starbucks calls their employees baristas" posts:

Main Entry: ba·ris·ta
Pronunciation: \bə-ˈrēs-tə, bä-ˈrēs-tä\
Function: noun
Etymology: Italian, person working behind a bar, from bar bar (from English) + - ista 1-ist
Date: 1982

: a person who makes and serves coffee (as espresso) to the public

Get over it, sheesh.

swaniefrmreddeer: I go to my local coffee shop where they have a very nice roaster. When I get coffee there, (usually just beans) it is nice to be able to talk to the owner/roaster about the particulars of an individual batch of coffee. The quality of his product is so superior to Starbucks that its almost hard to imagine why any one would ever go there.

im not a coffee snob (im a beer snob) but...starbucks is damn worthless when it comes to coffee, and i dont want any of the other crap there.

ill go to a gas station and get a bup for a dollar, and cream and sugar the hell out of it and half-enjoy it, thank you very much.

I have a solution for this: go elsewhere. I used to go to sbux when it was near the office. Went in there once, ordered a coffee and the guy was a dick about it. Look man, I hate it that your full sleeve tats might have prevented you from doing something else and that capitalism has destroyed your chances of being an artist or whatever but all I ask is that you do your job. I ask for an extra large coffee, you pour me...get this...an extra large coffee. Oh yeah, do what the lady at waffle house does...asks me if I want it a little less than full so I can put cream and sugar in it. No tip, you could have handed me a cup and pointed to an urn full of coffee and I could have poured it myself.

Now I get coffee either at home (iced coffee, no need to pay extra for that), at DD, maybe at a Waffle House, sometimes at a little coffee place I pass near one of my offices. The little place I stop at...the girl who works there is nice and always friendly. I'll order a cup and will hang out and talk to her. I tip and she always gives me a refill before I leave. The other day it was 102F and I wanted a cappuccino. She smiled, said "aren't you hot" then made it. No looks of disappointment since it was 4pm. I can order whatever roast she has made, put cream and sugar in it then go...and she's not going to call me names for destroying her coffee. She gets tips.

My roommate is a barista and is currently trying to figure out why black people love caramel fraps.

/likes her coffee black