C'mon - this headline HAS to get a green

Well played, subby

Booooo.... hisssssss.... yay!

+1

Awesome headline

/slow clap building to standing ovation

Monkeylint: /slow clap building to standing ovation

*clap* *clap* *clap*

NICE HEADLINE.

that's worthy of a T-shirt. Nicely Done.

ok.

Don't throw rocks, throw marijuana brownies

Alka Seltzer to the rescue.

/know it's a myth
//+1 Subby

+1, Subby. Love it.

That headline is so bad I love it.

Fine job sub

I voted it up, but only because you deserved it.

I am going to name my next three kids after that headline

The gulls are just shaking people down for bread.
I used to feed em bread, there'd be like 50 of em fighting over a slice of Wonder Bread...then I'd break out the pellet gun.

Awesome, subby.

I liked Robertson Davies' version - he described a young boy sitting on a piano keyboard, noting that the child "left no tone unsterned."

Dump Chickens!

Time for the Alka-selzer and Ex-lax biscuits!

Lame. This was stolen from my leave no turn unstoned ski-lift anecdote.

For some reason, my 1st thought was of the King short story Survivor Type.

Rats with wings. They are the only thing worse than pigeons.

Firecrackers work well.

You magnificent bastard

/1UP

That was an old Quigmans comic

Another Government Employee: Rats with wings. They are the only thing worse than pigeons.

Firecrackers work well.

BRILLIANT!
/2 up.

+1 Subby. Well played.

...which was a rip of the old Ogden Nash quote

...but well placed by Subby - context people, context!

+1, subby.

" A man who would make a pun, would not scruple to cut a purse."
Samuel Johnson or Pepys, I forget which.

brava
+1 internets for subby

great way to start a day

Just open a bag of cheetos and scatter it all over the road. Cold McDonalds french fries work too. Then get a Prius and run them all over. That should work. You can also feed them cigarette butts or "spill" a shipment of Alka Seltzer, although you have to beat the rain on that one.

No joke ...

Pissed-off seagulls can be very nasty. I was attacked by a seagull some years ago because I came too close to its chick which had fallen out of its nest. It flapped around and squawked and screeched and pecked at my head - it was going for my eyes, I just know it!
I have been very wary of the nasty beasts ever since.

/Cool story, Bro!

Thai Mai Xhu: Another Government Employee: Rats with wings. They are the only thing worse than pigeons.

Firecrackers work well.

BRILLIANT!
/2 up.

I was on my Uncle's dock in Savannah with a couple of cousins. We had just come in from the beach and had stopped for bbq and fries. My cousin was a guy that liked to talk with his hands. So, he was making a point while holding a fry. Seagull came and plucked the thing right out of his hand.

Well, he reached into a bag by the chair and pulled out a 1 1/2" ladyfinger. He lit it and held it up like the fry. Damn bird took the bait and got about 10 feet away went it went off.

We didn't get bothered again for the rest of the night.

/CSB, I know.

What a stoned tern may look like:



Nice one subby, +1

jso2897: " A man who would make a pun, would not scruple to cut a purse."
Samuel Johnson or Pepys, I forget which.

Huh. Thought that was Francis Bacon writing as William M. Thackeray pretending to be the ghost of Bill Shaskper appearing to Chas. Dickens as he wrote Malory's _La Mort d'Artur_

/ With Anne Rice

+!

Nice joke to wake up to!