PETA representatives suggested via a faxed letter to the church that, in exchange for a grant, Jesus would be built with a lamb in his arms and a message inscribed on the statue: "Blessed Are the Merciful. Go Vegan."

Every time, I think that PETA can't possibly get any more idiotic and counter-productive, yet they always manage to outdo themselves.

PETA understands that butter isn't vegan, right?

Big Tofu Jesus?

/dialing Heywood Banks

Hey, PETA - I've an idea. It's a bit radical, but, then again, so are you, so here goes:

Actually encourage the humane treatment of animals. You know, like you used to, before you went nuts.

Seriously, we'd much rather you cared about animals than about yourselves. Stop attention whoring and actually do something constructive with the millions you receive from well-meaning idiots hoping you still give a rat's ass about something other than the millions you receive from well-meaning idiots.

PETA supports ritualized cannibalism

If god didn't want us to eat animals why did he make them so tasty?

/flame-broiled!

Mint jelly is an abomination, thus sayeth The Lord.

It's actually a nice gesture considering PETA's track record.

/a shallow, media-whoring one, but again consider the source.

hot

Wow. What does dumb^2 equal?

So the statue's owners aren't Seventh Day Adventists?

Duyogurt: Wow. What does dumb^2 equal?

Palin Eating Tasty Animals?

PETA = People Eternally Targeting Attention

Of course the SRC people declined, and of course PETA knew they would. Congrats to both groups. You got your names in the press for another twenty seconds you attention whoring coonts.

Minister Tracy Marune delivers an eternal flame into the lap of the Lord. (new window, NSFW language)

Oops, there's also a nude male posterior at the end of the video I posted above. Sorry, never watched it all the way through.

PumpUpDaFark: Mint jelly is an abomination, thus sayeth The Lord.

Amen.

But mint sauce is a "holy" different matter.

onzmadi: It's actually a nice gesture considering PETA's track record.

/a shallow, media-whoring one, but again consider the source.

It really is. Without the "Go Vegan" at the end of the sign I would certainly accept it, maybe even from them...

Mary had a little lamb?

meat0918: Duyogurt: Wow. What does dumb^2 equal?

Palin Eating Tasty Animals?

mmm...maybe you went too far. I would have accepted Palin as an answer.

Nanuk-the White Bear: PumpUpDaFark: Mint jelly is an abomination, thus sayeth The Lord.

Amen.

But mint sauce is a "holy" different matter.

+1

Krikkitbot: I recently bought some sugar at Whole Foods. Long story short, on the bag it says "100% VEGAN cane sugar". Thank gawd! C&H must use that bacon sugar you hear so much about.

Keep an eye out for asbestos-free high maltose pancake syrup while you're at it. Can't get it in these parts.

Holding a lamb is too touchy feely compassionate for today's conservative christians. We can't have Jesus Christ the Lord displaying any kind of behavior that implies that he cared about anyone or anything other than smiting one's neighbor in some zealot-driven rage.

DECMATH: Krikkitbot: I recently bought some sugar at Whole Foods. Long story short, on the bag it says "100% VEGAN cane sugar". Thank gawd! C&H must use that bacon sugar you hear so much about.

Keep an eye out for asbestos-free high maltose pancake syrup while you're at it. Can't get it in these parts.

I like the vegan plant fertilizer personally. Nature utilizes animal wastes, but no no, we can't have that.

austin_millbarge: Holding a lamb is too touchy feely compassionate for today's conservative christians. We can't have Jesus Christ the Lord displaying any kind of behavior that implies that he cared about anyone or anything other than smiting one's neighbor in some zealot-driven rage.

3/10. Uncreative, and lacking in the illusion of sincerity that marks a well-crafted troll, but you might get a few nibbles.

Barakku: It really is. Without the "Go Vegan" at the end of the sign I would certainly accept it, maybe even from them...

Exactly.

I myself would like it if more Jesus and St. Francis of Assisi statues included a cat sitting near the figure's feet. That's all. Just a cat. Doesn't even have to look particularly like one of my cats.

I've seen a lot of animal cruelty aimed at cats, more than any other species, in fact, in the process of recent research. Considering the number of allegedly-religious people who've been found responsible for same, I think the modest addition of a cat to religious statuary might help remind people that Jesus loves kitties, too.

In fact, a St. Francis surrounded by dogs, birds, cats, sugar gliders, lizards, gerbils and dwarf hamsters with a pond of koi at his feet would be entirely in line with my religious sentiments. Maybe the local pet cemetery would like one. I should go call my sculptor friend.

Mmmmmmmgyros with extra onion and extra tzatziki

Diogenes: But Christ is the Lamb of God.

uhhh... this.

this should have got a 'hero' tag! i want to treat that rev to a cold beer and a delicious grease-dripping HAMBURGAR!

"The new statue would serve as a reminder that every time we sit down to eat, we make a choice: We can add to the level of violence, suffering, and death in the world, or we can respect God's creation by opting for a vegan meal.

I would really get a bit of gratification by adding to the level of violence and suffering by beating the person who came up with that sentiment.

Honestly, I would simply allow Peta to rebuild the statue, and then improve it by eradicating the stupid "Go Vegan" slogan from it by the simplest and most permanent means available once the gift was given.

autopsybeverage: Honestly, I would simply allow Peta to rebuild the statue, and then improve it by eradicating the stupid "Go Vegan" slogan from it by the simplest and most permanent means available once the gift was given.

Lightning?

Son of Thunder: autopsybeverage: Honestly, I would simply allow Peta to rebuild the statue, and then improve it by eradicating the stupid "Go Vegan" slogan from it by the simplest and most permanent means available once the gift was given.

Lightning?

I was thinking chisel, concrete patch, simply allowing parishioners to vandalize it without repercussions, or something like that, but I guess lightning worked pretty well the first time.

Vegans, sheesh. Forward facing eyes, acute binocular vision, canine teeth AND grinding teeth coupled with the the ability to metabolize animal proteins. Humans are omnivores. It is how we evolved. It is our nature. Our design.

Genju: Mary had a little lamb?

And the doctor just couldn't figure it out.

Genju: Mary had a little lamb?

Her father shot it dead.
And now she takes the lamb to school
between two hunks of bread.

Well, what if we make it Pesach Jesus? He could have the lamb over his shoulder, and a knife and a brush in the other hand.

Name the lamb Korban, you've got it.

+1 darklancelot

Jesus would be horrified by the cruelty that we inflict today on animals

Moses told the Israelites to take a one year old male lamb without blemish. On the night of Passover, they were to kill the lamb and spread its blood on their front door.

You mean cruel in that kinda way?

buzzdoctor: Jesus would be horrified by the cruelty that we inflict today on animals

Moses told the Israelites to take a one year old male lamb without blemish. On the night of Passover, they were to kill the lamb and spread its blood on their front door.

You mean cruel in that kinda way?

Well give credit in the Old Testament though. That whole total annihilation thing pretty much set humans and animals on equal discrimination when it came to slaughter.