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(Beacon Journal)   Lawyer anxious to represent teen murder suspect so he can present "video game obsession" defense   (ohio.com) divider line 116
    More: Stupid  
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5433 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2003 at 4:52 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-05-29 12:58:07 PM
Good god, these people are insane. "Whatever happened in this case, it was not murder." and then the article goes on to speak of crushed skulls and stolen cars. Does this seem a little strange to anyone else? If I came to your house, crushed your daughters skull and stole her car, would you:
A: hang me from a tree by my toes
or
B: support the murderer of my daughters lawyer?

Maybe we should all read "A modest proposal" again and replace the weak, old and infant with fat, stupid and lazy.
 
OBB
2003-05-29 01:07:35 PM
Geez, that poor girl's father and the murderer deserve each other. Sounds like Daddy was getting a bit of ass on the side from this kid.
 
2003-05-29 01:15:55 PM
yet another scapegoat attempt. I've played video games since ATari 2600 days, fairly constantly. I never thought it was a good idea to beat somebodys skull in, stab them multiple times and steal their feckking car.

Some people are sick twisted fecks. That they happen to play video games is not related. He also drank liquids and took a crap a few times a week. Why aren't we using a somewhat "full of shiat" defence?
 
2003-05-29 01:19:26 PM
That defense is such B.S, If video games where that influential than I would have been flattened by cars when I was 5 as I jumped around a busy street like a frog. Why don't they just admit these kids are not right in the head to begin with.
 
7fw
2003-05-29 01:26:21 PM
Parenting. What happened to that?
 
2003-05-29 01:42:36 PM
What? But it has to be purely nurture, DownSouth. To imply that nature might have some part in it would say that psychology and sociology might not be able to cure 100% of patients. And what kind of message is that sending?
 
2003-05-29 01:54:02 PM
Wow... that dad is a farkhead, and I hope his skull is crushed, by a stolen car no less. No way in HELL would I try to get the sentence of my child's killer reduced by taking them to juvy court!

Oh, and the video games defense is about as good as the Chewbacca defense... stupid, but it will probably work on idiot jurors. They are ALWAYS found in the important cases.
 
2003-05-29 02:10:10 PM
"Your honor, my client was so enraged from wasting 5 hours trying to get the power up and win the game, only to get burninated by the level boss, that the crimes were inevitable."
 
2003-05-29 02:18:08 PM
Steevaroni do you mean he didn't get hugged enough as a kid? Well that defense I would buy. ;)
 
2003-05-29 03:23:00 PM
And the inherent evil of competitism rampant in Our Schools, DownSouth. Don't forget that!
 
2003-05-29 03:54:28 PM
After reading this, I want to come forward and admit my guilt in a case long since cold.

When I was 15, I went on a trip to Canada, where I spent time living with a family of professional barrel jumpers. These were sweet, caring folk whose ability on skates rivals that of Olympic athletes. Each day, they'd bring me out to the frozen lake out back to teach me the art of jumping barrels. They could not have done more to make me welcome and happy.

Then it happened.

After jumping practice and our usual snack of Nutella, Wheat Thins and V-8, the rest of the group retired to the family room to watch Don Cherry. I offered to clean up that day, feeling it was the least I could do for their hospitality. Whilst pushing the barrels back to their holding bins, I spotted a sledgehammer hanging from a tree.

I have no idea why it was hanging from the tree.

At first I didn't pay it any mind, but suddenly I had the urge to grab hammer. I wasn't sure why, but then the music began to fill my head:

Ding-da-dong-da-dong-da-dong, badadeedledeedledee!

Dum-dum da-dadda-dum-dm da-dadda-dum-dum...

Influenced by my years of video game playing and empowered by the sudden change in the soundtrack, I snatched the sledgehammer with the might of Thor.

I'm a little fuzzy about what happened next, but when I came to, all of the barrels were smashed to bits. I even found some of them burnt to a crisp, as though someone had put the barrels in a furnace before I smashed them.

My adopted family came running outside to find the horror of their entire barrel supply destroyed. Needless to say, I was asked to leave, despite my protestations of innocence.

You see, it wasn't my fault that those barrels got smashed, even if it was technically my arms swinging the sledgehammer.

I blame Taito, Nintendo, Coleco, Atari, and all other makers of a version of Donkey-Kong. Were it not for them, would I have ever considered smashing all of those barrels?

I think not.

Moreover, if it were not for Donkey-Kong, would I still to this day prefer wearing red overalls?

And would I still be tormented by the fact that my one true love was stolen by a giant ape named after another animal, never to be permanently rescued?

I will get that monkey. I swear to it!
 
2003-05-29 04:02:29 PM
Bisonman, thank you. You helped me pass some more time at work... God Bless You!
 
2003-05-29 04:57:44 PM
Can I kill the lawyer and blame it on minesweeper?
 
2003-05-29 04:58:15 PM
NOTHING CAN BE BLAMED ON MINESWEEPER. MINESWEEPER IS GOD.
 
2003-05-29 04:58:36 PM
R1, R2, L1, R2, X, L, D, R, U, L, D, D, L
 
2003-05-29 04:59:27 PM
If anything violent video games help get peoples frustrations out, rather than keeping them in. Anyways, odds are knowing how to use a PS control isn't going to qualify you to use a gun. And I don't think anyone has been killed with a PS control.
 
2003-05-29 04:59:44 PM
When it comes to free lawyers, just remember -- you get what you pay for...
 
2003-05-29 05:00:16 PM
Um, yeah. A video game did this, rather than a parent who was too freaking lazy/selfish/alloftheabove to actually take the time to teach their kid right from wrong.

The hell of it is, they'll probably win the case, too. We live in a society where no one wants to accept the idea that our actions have consequences beyond ourselves. This is just one symptom of a far greater problem: the abandonment of personal responsibility.
 
2003-05-29 05:00:38 PM
Stupid lawyers.. I blame Matlock!
 
2003-05-29 05:03:00 PM
seriously, dont get between me and socom, or is it socom and I. anyways I got a video game obsession to.
 
Zed
2003-05-29 05:03:31 PM
"to consider video games in Lynch's defense"

"`The American video industry must share the blame.''"

Well which one is it? Video games or videos (aka movies?)

They aren't the same thing. Obviously this guy doesn't know what he's talking about and is just picking up buzzwords from his archive copies of Time.
 
2003-05-29 05:05:01 PM
Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe his client wrote Stinky Britches ten years ago, and they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself. But Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kishic, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it. That does not make sense.

Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks. That does not make sense. But more important, you have to ask yourself what does this have to do with this case.

Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case.

It does not make sense. Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and Gentlemen I'm am not making any sense. None of this makes sense. And so you have to remember when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No. Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury it does not make sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit. The defense rests.
 
2003-05-29 05:05:20 PM
I can't believe I'm reading this... The victim's father has got to be out of his mind! The only thing I can think is that he wants the guy on the streets where "accidents" can happen.

If they honestly think they can blame the video game industry, I feel sorry for their deluded state of mind. If it happened to stand up in court, I'll be the first to sue the Printing Industry for warping my mind with crazy visions of times and places that never existed (not to mention the horrible uber-violence I've experienced in print that makes the WORST video game I've ever played seem docile and uninspired)
 
2003-05-29 05:05:26 PM

so was her head crushed by a Tetris block ? I know the "T" shaped one always pisses me off, never comes when you need it the most. Followed by the "S", Nazi - shaped one. Those come way too often... for ... me


(Goes looking for someone's head to crush)

 
2003-05-29 05:05:27 PM
Someone should make a game where the goal is to stiff your lawyer on the bill. Let's see if they'll like the "I done lurned it from the vidayo game" excuse then.
 
2003-05-29 05:05:29 PM
This girl's dad is what all that peace, love, and forgiveness shiat teaches you.

Has anyone ever committed murder over NCAA Football 2003?
 
2003-05-29 05:06:38 PM
Bisonman

Brudda, that was funny as hell, have a road pop on me!
 
2003-05-29 05:07:54 PM
Bwahahaha! That is bullsh!t. Video games don't make you violent; losing the damn video game does. And you cannot tell me that playing Quake3 and UT2003 makes me want to kill everyone.

Silly people.

/polishes rocket launcher
 
2003-05-29 05:08:31 PM
If this is true then when can I start teleporting and throwing fireballs?
 
2003-05-29 05:09:17 PM
Trying to knock out Soda Popinski and Bald Bull for 3 months on Mike Tyson's punch out made me go crazy and assault all of my neighbors, teachers, and friends.

I got 6mos probation.
 
2003-05-29 05:09:23 PM
As a 27 year old from the "nintendo" generation. I blame all present/past/future lawlessness on my remorseless and continuing slaughter of the ducks of "Duck Hunt." I should therefore be set free for anything, forever.
 
2003-05-29 05:10:18 PM
Millennium: Absolutely right.

It seems to me that this is an attempt to get some kind of monetary judgement leveled against the various video game firms. If he can get a court to say that VG's made this kid insane enough to kill, it's just a short stretch to take them to Civil court and force a lucrative settlement.
 
2003-05-29 05:12:34 PM
SupaDupa
That damn dog snickering at me for simply not being perfect was what drove me to murder (kittens) as a teen.
 
2003-05-29 05:13:10 PM
Whatever happened to plain ol' crazy?

Thank you, Chris Rock...
 
2003-05-29 05:14:00 PM
Life term and U,U,D,D,L,R,L,R,B,A,Start years w/o parole.

Seriously...what the hell is up with the dad of the dead
girl?

If someone were to kill my daughter, I'd either torture
them to death or, if the police got to them first do every-
thing in my power to see that they die or have a miserable
life full of prison-raping-butt-sex.

People who crush skulls and stab other people multiple times
SHOULD NOT have a chance at rehabilitation. They should
just die.

Oh, and can someone please remember me the game that lets
you crush someone's head, stab them multiple times and then
steal a car to get away?

It's too bad the girl is dead, but she's probably in a much
better place away from her asshat father.

-Hyatus
"da da da"
 
2003-05-29 05:16:36 PM
Oh, No!! I play videogames from time to time! That must be why I hear Sonic the Hedgehog telling me to kill the idiot lawyer trying to make this defense!!!

Oh, wait, no... that's right... I almost forgot...

HE'S JUST A FARKING IDIOT. IN YEARS PAST, HE WOULD BE DEAD FROM DECIDING TO PERSONALLY POISON TEST ANY WILD MUSHROOMS HE COULD FIND.

I want to see all of these friggin' people who try to disprove free will tied to posts and pelted with tennis balls, socks, and Vogon poetry.

Now, where'd I put those Babel fish again...
 
2003-05-29 05:16:50 PM
Oh, and can someone please remember me the game that lets you crush someone's head, stab them multiple times and then steal a car to get away?

Ms. Pac Man

No, wait! Grand Theft Auto III/Vice City
 
2003-05-29 05:17:05 PM
The lawyers videos game defense is probably coming out of his pent up anger at the video game industry after he wasn't able to rescue the princess in Mario Bros. when he was a kid.
 
2003-05-29 05:18:22 PM
Old And Busted: Video Games made me do it.

New Hotness: The Matrix made me do it.
 
2003-05-29 05:18:28 PM

"I dont get mad, I get stabby."
 
2003-05-29 05:18:42 PM
Enter The Matrix's control scheme made me want to kill somebody.
 
2003-05-29 05:23:01 PM
 
2003-05-29 05:23:58 PM
"When it comes to free lawyers, just remember -- you get what you pay for..."

To have to keep in mind good lawyers do cases for free - because it's not only a free defense for the killer, it's free advertising for the lawyer....He couldn't buy this kind of advertising...well i guess he did..figure out what he would normally charge
 
2003-05-29 05:24:12 PM
Hyatus, I'm with you.

And If anyone ever touches my (Hypothetical) daughter, they will not just be killed. They will die slow and hard.

A Remington 1100 three-inch Magnum shot to the kneecap will start the fun. Then I lock them up in nice, snug cage, with sundry badgers and wolverines. I leave their heads out of the cage, kind of like stocks in reverse, and tranq the critters whenever they get too close to outright killing the guy. After two or three hours, I finish with a closing word from my guest speaker, Mr. Colt.

That's if my daughter's still alive.

If she's dead, then the sonofabiatch gets the Crisco Treatment.
 
2003-05-29 05:24:18 PM
Hey all you farkers...

This would be the same jerk-off Jack Thompson who went after 2 Live Crew about 14 years ago.

The world would be so much better if this schmuck wasn't a part of it.

*sigh*
 
2003-05-29 05:24:38 PM
Postal 2 is due out soon. I downloaded the demo and while it isn't quite as involved as GTA: Vice City it is pretty damn violent. When you can stick a shotgun up a cat's ass and use it for a silencer in this game you will know what I mean.

I can just imagine the crime wave that follows its release.
 
2003-05-29 05:25:12 PM
Mediaho-

I feel the same way about Max Payne. First video game in a long time that made me throw the controller in disgust.
 
2003-05-29 05:25:19 PM
 
2003-05-29 05:25:32 PM
 
2003-05-29 05:26:16 PM
Mediaho: why??? i want to get that game but i hate games where the controls mess with my head
 
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