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(   Inside the topsy-turvy, whirlwind life of a chauffered, bodyguarded Ronald McDonald   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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7759 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2003 at 5:03 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

56 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-05-29 05:05:47 PM  
"Ronald is so busy, how does he do it?"

alot of blow.
2003-05-29 05:06:18 PM  
Got nothing. Just wanted to point to bootsy

2003-05-29 05:08:00 PM  
And a picture of John Wayne Gacy is gonna pop up in 5...4......3.....2......
2003-05-29 05:08:36 PM  
he's a ronald.
wouldn't swiming in bourbon hurt your cocknballs?
2003-05-29 05:09:22 PM  

"Ronald is so busy, how does he do it?"

Two words: Fastfood Groupies.

[image from too old to be available]

2003-05-29 05:09:24 PM  

Always with a bon mot.
2003-05-29 05:10:14 PM  
Crackhead Ronald is my favorite.
2003-05-29 05:11:18 PM  
2003-05-29 05:11:44 PM  
Ronald McDonald is the lord of a thousand hells.
2003-05-29 05:12:55 PM  
Always with a bon mot.

Make that a McBon Mot. With bbq sauce...mmmmm...
2003-05-29 05:13:32 PM  
I remember thinking when I was a kid that being Ronald McDonald would be a pretty humiliating job. This was when I was like 6.
2003-05-29 05:13:33 PM  
I was more horrified to find out Willard Scott was Bozo the Clown. Do weatherman have to have any education at all?
2003-05-29 05:16:40 PM  
Ronald McDonald is the dorkiest shiat ever.
2003-05-29 05:19:51 PM  
This one doesn't look so happy.

[image from too old to be available]

Eat my burger, biatch!
2003-05-29 05:20:11 PM  
To preserve the illusion that there is only one Ronald, the chain forbids two Ronalds from ever appearing together

The other Ronald is kept at an undisclosed location with VP Cheney.
2003-05-29 05:21:04 PM  
Farkin' clowns, each one creepier than the next.
2003-05-29 05:21:20 PM  
But, because there were no injuries involved, he says, he spared the clown a trip downtown
hahahha it rhymes...
2003-05-29 05:22:44 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2003-05-29 05:24:31 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-29 05:24:58 PM  
"Ronald McDonald was the brain-clown of two people...:

"Brain-clown",huh? Great name for a death-metal band.
2003-05-29 05:25:27 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Insert Ronald's face in place of the G
2003-05-29 05:26:28 PM  
I'm sorry, but McDonald's really needs to consider a new mascot, I used to like that clown when I was a kid, but now it scares the bejeezus out of me
2003-05-29 05:28:29 PM  
I have photos of Ronald and Mayor McCheese doing blow off Grimace's ass. I may never have to work another day in my life!
2003-05-29 05:28:34 PM  
"welcome to mcdonalds, they all float down here!"
2003-05-29 05:29:47 PM  
But seriously, I am saddened by the idea that a Ronald McDonald makes more annually than I do...
2003-05-29 05:30:04 PM  
I was more horrified to find out Willard Scott was Bozo the Clown.

Do they even air that show anymore? I saw a college-aged chick the other day with a tight-fitting Bozo tee and wondered to self, "Self, is she even old enough to know who Bozo is?"
2003-05-29 05:36:18 PM  
Fury211, reading IT and the Movie poltergiest totally ruined clowns for me. They are just plain evil!
2003-05-29 05:41:13 PM  
I think "Oven Mitt" (that sad Arby's asshat of a spokescharacter) could take some lessons from Ronald, the (big) Mack Daddy of them all.
2003-05-29 05:42:37 PM  
"To be a Ronald is a lifelong career," says Janet Tucker, past president of the World Clown Association.

So what happens if you want out? This is creepy.
2003-05-29 05:46:29 PM  
If there has to be stupid mascots, I'd prefer that they bee as ridiculous and embarassing as possible, so they'll stay on tv where I can blink them out of existence.

We had a Ronald with a thick Mexican accent come to my elementary school. A few kids hung around their truck and unknowingly insulted everything about mcdonalds loud enough for a McRoadie to give them a "shut the fark up you little twats." look. And it was the funniest thing that ever happened.
2003-05-29 05:55:47 PM  
McDonald's trains and recruits many Ronalds through a Clayton, Calif., company, CW & Co. Productions. One of its methods is to place ads in clown magazines.

There's a clown trade publication? WTF?!?

"Can't sleep...clowns will eat me!"
2003-05-29 05:58:01 PM  
Barndog - It's just the nambla newsletter...
2003-05-29 05:58:15 PM  

There's no way to get out. That's because when you take the job, you have be surgically altered to look like Ronald, and there's no money for a corrective operation.
2003-05-29 06:02:48 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Ronald has not been through the Man's prison system."
2003-05-29 06:06:56 PM  
Ha! I knew it...

Just a month ago I went to a variety show called Dark Karnival...
There I saw two things that should never go together: Clown and Stripper

I didn't get a lot of sleep that night
2003-05-29 06:16:07 PM  
Clowns and fast food just don't go together.
[image from too old to be available]

Sleep well,kids.
2003-05-29 06:16:31 PM  
"There can be only one!"
2003-05-29 06:19:05 PM  
well that was all messed up...
puts on my best red wig
unsheathes my 6 foot long scottish highland broadsword

"There can be only one!"

much better :)
2003-05-29 06:19:57 PM  
unsheaths too oops
2003-05-29 06:30:08 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-29 06:32:17 PM  
"the book advises Ronalds "never to initiate a hug" with a child. Instead, Ronalds are to turn slightly to the left and whisper in the child's ear 'meet me in the mens room'"

Oh Jesus.
2003-05-29 06:41:31 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-29 06:49:22 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]

Oh how I love GIS.
2003-05-29 06:52:05 PM  

Sorry to flood, but somehow this one didn't post...

And I'm gonna post this one again just because it's so friggin creepy:
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-29 06:53:48 PM  
While doing a radio remote on Navy Pier in Chicago two summers ago, I was paired up with a "Ronald McDonald" for two hours.

It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life.

He NEVER broke character. EVER. Even off-mike, talking to him...I'd ask a question about where's he's from...

"Why, I don't know! McDonaldland, I guess!"

"Heh. Yeah, I'm from's out by Rockford."

"Gosh, do they have any McDonald's out there?"

"Uh...yeah, two or three probably."

"That's GREAT! I should visit sometime! We could have Happy Meals!"

*steps away*

Later on when some hot girls were walking by...this dude starting sounding like a friggin' construction worker under his breath.

"Hey girls, thanks for saying hi! Have a great day! God, I wanna take off that top and give you a shiny new pearl necklace. Bye!"

Seriously. Messed. Up.
2003-05-29 07:13:26 PM  
A lifelong friend of mine who recently passed, RIP he was the original producer and director of the McDonald's commercial since the advent of their TV advertising.

Anyway, the interesting trivia is that Ronald was...


Yup. He was black. The secrecy is there for a reason. At the time, that would not have been very acceptable had people known the truth.

But he cast the guy...he didn't care. This is a dude who named one of his kids Che tho...
2003-05-29 07:23:26 PM  
This is seriously creeping me out!
2003-05-29 07:27:52 PM  
Some out of context quotes:

"I feel badly about what I've done with young people," says Geoffrey Giuliano, who played Ronald in Canada in the early 1980s. "I was the happy face on something that was horrendous."

"Am I a bad guy? No, I'm not a bad guy. Did Ronald get in a little trouble down there? Yes."
2003-05-29 09:11:35 PM  
OK, why does McDonalds need this clown again?
Neither Burger King nor Wendy's have a big cheesy mascot.
Grow up Mickey's D!
2003-05-29 10:41:23 PM  
this rules:

[image from too old to be available]
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