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(BareFoot MusicNews)   "Dear Daddy" ... what would you say to your Dad today?   (barefootmusicnews.com) divider line 530
    More: Hero, Dear Daddy, Father's Day, catharsis, online communities, dads  
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7373 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2010 at 7:28 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



530 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-06-20 12:13:57 PM  
I know you never got to see her, but your Granddaughter is beautiful.
 
2010-06-20 12:16:08 PM  
Thanks for bringing me up right. I miss you and mum every day.
 
2010-06-20 12:17:03 PM  
Not too much, my dad is deaf. Not dead, but he just recently lost his hearing. I love my dad, but I hate talking to him on the phone anyways. I thought this would solve that issue, but no.. mom says "Call your father for Father's Day. He can't hear, but he'll appreciate it." No he won't. It'll remind him of how old and unhealthy he has gotten.
 
2010-06-20 12:17:33 PM  
I've always known I was luckier than all hell to have an amazing father. Reading this thread, I am beginning to realize just how very lucky. Particularly since my dad's still alive, and I can tell him just how amazing he is, and how much I owe him. He doesn't believe me, he never has, and I suspect he never will. He's human, and so he dropped the ball once or twice. And being human, he tends to focus on the errors, instead of the overwhelming mass of stuff he got dead right. I really wish I could, just once, figure out the right words to make him believe me.

Mother's Day? That's a horse in an entirely different section of the PANTONE guide. But in the dad-lottery, I lucked the fark out.
 
2010-06-20 12:19:07 PM  
This thread explains a lot about Fark. A LOT.
 
2010-06-20 12:19:59 PM  
Dead yet ?
 
2010-06-20 12:24:18 PM  
Typically this would be "Is there anymore beer in the fridge?"
 
2010-06-20 12:25:03 PM  
Benevolent Misanthrope: Look, Asshole:

I know what you are. I know what you did. And now that my grandmother is dead and no longer in need of protection, I have absolutely no reason to keep your secrets.

Game on, muthafrkka.


That sounds like something from a television drama I'd love to watch.
 
2010-06-20 12:25:14 PM  
WHAR IS DADDY?!!!! WHAR?!!



/selfish asshole can DIAF with the rotten cooze that convinced him to give her his family's inheritance. Couldn't care less if I'm written off, but the GRANDKIDS too? fark him sideways with a cactus
 
2010-06-20 12:26:05 PM  
Kalashinator: fark him sideways with a cactus


Talk slowly.
 
2010-06-20 12:31:36 PM  
Just got done talking to him, and after our conversation I just told him "Thanks Pops... you know everything that means".

/didn't mean to choke him up, I was just sayin'
 
2010-06-20 12:33:13 PM  
THANK YOU! You taught me many things but by showing me that a strong work ethic is important, and that when you say you'll be somewhere at 2:00 means 2:00, NOT 2:01. Being late is a both a sign of disrespect and laziness, and that if given the choice of being 2 minutes late and 1 hour early... be early.

Also, its been 29 years since you passsed and I miss you. We didnt get to spend a lot of time together in the 20 years we had, and at first I resented it but then I understood why you worked 18 hour days, 6 days a week. To make sure mom, me, and my brother and sister had a roof over our heads, food, and decent clothing.

I love you, miss you, and so wish you were here to know my wife and my 2 sons.
 
2010-06-20 12:36:08 PM  
Go fark yourself you absolute jackass. I hope the knowledge that you abandoned your family haunts you every single day, especially today.

My firearms and I are waiting for you to show up at my house for a "family reunion".
 
2010-06-20 12:36:56 PM  
Dad...

I am disappoint.
 
2010-06-20 12:37:11 PM  
My father is a great father, and I love him very much. He has a few minor faults, but growing up and seeing my friends' lives, I always wondered why I got a "perfect" dad. It wasn't fair.

My dad doesn't accept that I'm transgender, and this has finally created a rift between me and my parents. It's like it doesn't matter to him that I cry every day from the pain of being the wrong gender. This has been the only major disagreement with my parents my whole life. It's what finally drove me to move out two years ago.

I'm at a family reunion this weekend, and it's really painful to have to "be a man" around them.
 
2010-06-20 12:39:38 PM  
Dad: You had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands, and cheated on every one of them. How the hell did you manage that?
 
2010-06-20 12:41:58 PM  
corridor: Dad...

I am disappoint.


Aaaannndd with that I think the thread should come to a close.
 
2010-06-20 12:46:00 PM  
"You were right all along"

He's 76 and still writes letters to the editor all the time - that generation's version of farking.
 
2010-06-20 12:46:05 PM  
I didn't know my dad until I became him. Then I realized it was all my fault he was the way he was.
 
2010-06-20 12:47:11 PM  
I'd tell him happy father's day.
cause it was a lot of work well spent.


/happy father's day
 
2010-06-20 12:47:34 PM  
Myria: My father is a great father, and I love him very much. He has a few minor faults, but growing up and seeing my friends' lives, I always wondered why I got a "perfect" dad. It wasn't fair.

My dad doesn't accept that I'm transgender, and this has finally created a rift between me and my parents. It's like it doesn't matter to him that I cry every day from the pain of being the wrong gender. This has been the only major disagreement with my parents my whole life. It's what finally drove me to move out two years ago.

I'm at a family reunion this weekend, and it's really painful to have to "be a man" around them.


I admit that it would be uncomfortable for me if you were my sibling or kid, but you have to live your life and make no apologies.
 
2010-06-20 12:48:16 PM  
Well, I found him in Pensacola
In a trailer in the sand
The man from the picture
Creased and yellowed in my hand

He was squinting and stubbled
And standing in the door
He said, if you've come to take the car away
I don't have it anymore

He got the gospel on the radio
And the gospel on tv
He got all of the transcripts
Back to 1963

He said I sold my blood for money
There wasn't any pain
But I just can't stand the feeling
It's in someone else's veins

Momma took me aside
And she tried to change my mind
She said, don't waste your time in looking
There's nothing, nothing left to find
Nothing, nothing left to find

So I left him down in Pensacola
In a trailer in the sand
The man from the picture
Creased and yellowed in my hand
 
2010-06-20 12:49:48 PM  
Myria: My father is a great father, and I love him very much. He has a few minor faults, but growing up and seeing my friends' lives, I always wondered why I got a "perfect" dad. It wasn't fair.

My dad doesn't accept that I'm transgender, and this has finally created a rift between me and my parents. It's like it doesn't matter to him that I cry every day from the pain of being the wrong gender. This has been the only major disagreement with my parents my whole life. It's what finally drove me to move out two years ago.

I'm at a family reunion this weekend, and it's really painful to have to "be a man" around them.


Myria, I bet it does matter to him. He can't understand why you are not the person he always imagined you becoming, and it's probably painful to him, rightly or not. He might even blame himself for something he thinks he did to cause you to be this way. To you, it was this way all along, you figured it out, and grew to accept yourself. To your parents, you changed when you told them the truth, no matter how much they should have been able to see and understand all along the way. They can only see what they always strove to see, maybe always hoping it was just something you'd outgrow. Some people will never adjust their view no matter how long you give them, but maybe your parents will.

Anyway, just one way of defining the thing. I'm sorry for your pain. Hope the weather's great and there's good stuff to drink.
 
2010-06-20 12:50:42 PM  
I miss you so much. I will love you forever and thank you for everything.
 
2010-06-20 12:56:55 PM  
Dear Bill,

Shoulda kept your hands off that poor kid, you sick fark. Fark you, and I hope you rot.

Regards,
Shadowself
 
2010-06-20 01:02:57 PM  
My $.02:

1) This thread shows the extent to which patriarchy has damaged men, leaving many men unable to function emotionally or maintain basic relationships with the most important people in their lives. And that is some terrible shiat.

2) Dad: Thanks for the food, clothing, shelter, and college education. Not so much for the physical violence, emotional abuse, bigotry, and ass-hat narcissism that makes it impossible to have a conversation with you about anything.

3) Self-help books, people! You can actually read a few books and learn to be a much better parent. You can join a mens group and get some of this crap out of your system! (Therapy saved my life.)
 
2010-06-20 01:08:00 PM  
"What the hell WAS your farking problem, anyway?"
 
2010-06-20 01:08:20 PM  
Dang- Some of you are in need of therapy.
 
2010-06-20 01:09:28 PM  
Thanks for being a great father. I'll see you in a couple hours.
 
2010-06-20 01:09:58 PM  
Instead of just collecting data about the positives/negatives about early family life via these posts, you should also inquire as to which end of the political spectrum these folks ended up on.

I imagine there would be some strong correlations in there somewhere.
 
2010-06-20 01:10:39 PM  
Lost my father last year but I would tell him that I love him very much and that he has been about the best Dad a guy could hope for. He was a good dad and raised me to do right.
 
2010-06-20 01:11:55 PM  
You have a grandson and 2 great grandsons. I wish you could have met them.

Love you Pop
 
2010-06-20 01:12:50 PM  
Studley Hungwell: Dang- Some of you are in need of therapy.

Many of us ARE in therapy. Two years and counting. Too bad the old man won't go to therapy, he's the one who needs it the most.
 
2010-06-20 01:15:22 PM  
coolbeans56: Marla Singer's Laundry: I agree, I will keep trying.

globalwarmingpraiser:

Thank you for that. I hate when things are unresolved, and it is a big unresolved. A BF... that would be nice... lol but I am not sure if I am looking at the moment.


Well I hope things go well for you man. I can see things from your dad's side, but I would want to know if I was him. But as Marla said, don't give up.
 
2010-06-20 01:21:58 PM  
I love you, Dad. I know you aren't big on the whole talking thing, but I am (got that from mom, huh?) And just because my stepdad was always there for me too doesn't mean that I care about you any less, or appreciate any less everything you've ever done for me. Im sorry that I haven't made you as proud of me as I could have, but Im working on it. I'll see you tonight when you get back from the golf course.
 
2010-06-20 01:22:47 PM  
transplendent: My $.02:

1) This thread shows the extent to which patriarchy has damaged men, leaving many men unable to function emotionally or maintain basic relationships with the most important people in their lives. And that is some terrible shiat.

2) Dad: Thanks for the food, clothing, shelter, and college education. Not so much for the physical violence, emotional abuse, bigotry, and ass-hat narcissism that makes it impossible to have a conversation with you about anything.

3) Self-help books, people! You can actually read a few books and learn to be a much better parent. You can join a mens group and get some of this crap out of your system! (Therapy saved my life.)


Wow, way to throw womynist crap into the thread. Please get back to making sammiches and cleaning house toots.
 
2010-06-20 01:23:01 PM  
Hi, Daddy.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're still a member of the "You made your bed, now lie in it" club. We both know Mom is mentally ill, refuses to seek help, and will never get better. We both know that you and I were emotionally and physically abused by her. And yet you're still there. I've begged you to divorce her, I left for good the third time I was disowned by her, and I'm still here, Dad, waiting for you to follow my example. I'm really scared that you'll go to your grave waiting for her to change. But I want you to know- I still love you, Daddy. I'm waiting for you here, on the outside, when you're ready to come.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy.
 
2010-06-20 01:25:31 PM  
Dear Dad,

You are a racist, bigoted, abusive, evangelical nut-job, and a misogynist asshole. Is it any wonder that all three of your children won't have anything to do with you and won't even speak to you, even on father's day? Mom should have divorced your dumb ass back in '84 instead of letting herself be talked into staying with you. Maybe if you'd stayed in school instead of dropping out after the 10th grade to go run off and join the Army (by lying about your age), you'd be a better person today. A part of me hopes that the god you are always screeching about is real, because he certainly would throw your ass into that lake of fire for all the crap you've pulled in your life.

/totally don't have "daddy" issues
//yeah, right
 
2010-06-20 01:29:29 PM  
I turned out OK, Dad. All three of us kids turned out OK. You and mom can both rest easy.
 
2010-06-20 01:32:35 PM  
lisarenee3505 2010-06-20 01:25:31 PM
Dear Dad,

You are a racist, bigoted, abusive, evangelical nut-job, and a misogynist asshole. Is it any wonder that all three of your children won't have anything to do with you and won't even speak to you, even on father's day? Mom should have divorced your dumb ass back in '84 instead of letting herself be talked into staying with you. Maybe if you'd stayed in school instead of dropping out after the 10th grade to go run off and join the Army (by lying about your age), you'd be a better person today. A part of me hopes that the god you are always screeching about is real, because he certainly would throw your ass into that lake of fire for all the crap you've pulled in your life.

/totally don't have "daddy" issues
//yeah, right


How YOU Doin?
 
2010-06-20 01:32:45 PM  
lisarenee3505: Dear Dad,

You are a racist, bigoted, abusive, evangelical nut-job, and a misogynist asshole. Is it any wonder that all three of your children won't have anything to do with you and won't even speak to you, even on father's day? Mom should have divorced your dumb ass back in '84 instead of letting herself be talked into staying with you. Maybe if you'd stayed in school instead of dropping out after the 10th grade to go run off and join the Army (by lying about your age), you'd be a better person today. A part of me hopes that the god you are always screeching about is real, because he certainly would throw your ass into that lake of fire for all the crap you've pulled in your life.

/totally don't have "daddy" issues
//yeah, right


I may have just fallen in love.
 
2010-06-20 01:32:59 PM  
God damn it daddy!
You know I love you,
but you have a helluva lot to learn about Rock And Roll!
 
2010-06-20 01:34:50 PM  
Berz: Thanks for being a great father. I'll see you in a couple hours.

Geez, I hope he's not dead.

As for mine, if he were still with us, we'd talk about the BoSox and if Ortiz is back on the juice (as if it was a question). Well, my step-dad (mom's third husband)at least. I don't talk to my mom's second husband (the one who refers to everyone as "Hitler"), and I never communicated with my biological dad. Never really saw a reason to.
 
2010-06-20 01:36:00 PM  
Thanks for getting mom pregnant and then having nothing else to do with my life.

/Damned hippies.
 
2010-06-20 01:39:23 PM  
Studley Hungwell: Dang- Some of you are in need of therapy.

Not everyone grew up in Leave it to Beaver.
 
2010-06-20 01:42:37 PM  
globalwarmingpraiser: transplendent: My $.02:

1) This thread shows the extent to which patriarchy has damaged men, leaving many men unable to function emotionally or maintain basic relationships with the most important people in their lives. And that is some terrible shiat.


Wow, way to throw womynist crap into the thread. Please get back to making sammiches and cleaning house toots.


globalwarmingpraiser, what the hell are you smoking?

My father couldn't hold a job for as long as I can remember. So after he remarried, he was left at home with two kids who weren't his own with no social life and nothing to do save his woodworking in the basement. He became an alcoholic and killed himself when I was 13, and I suspect his complete and total failure to provide for his family in a way that was expected of him in a patriarchal society might, just might, have been a part of that.

So what you're saying to me and the guy you replied to was that my dad was a shiathead who should've been happy making lunch and mopping the floor?
 
2010-06-20 01:44:19 PM  
Everytime Mom 'accidently' dropped a scoop of ice cream on the floor, it ended up in your bowl.

/Happy Father's Day, Mom!
 
2010-06-20 01:44:47 PM  
unchellmatt: Dad... No 11 year old should ever see their father dead. It's been 30 years, and I love you, miss you and hate you all at the same time even today.

You and I are in a very strange boat together. I'm sorry you had to grow up so fast.
 
2010-06-20 01:51:03 PM  
"Here, hit this shiat..."
 
2010-06-20 01:51:05 PM  
tuxedobob: globalwarmingpraiser: transplendent: My $.02:

1) This thread shows the extent to which patriarchy has damaged men, leaving many men unable to function emotionally or maintain basic relationships with the most important people in their lives. And that is some terrible shiat.


Wow, way to throw womynist crap into the thread. Please get back to making sammiches and cleaning house toots.

globalwarmingpraiser, what the hell are you smoking?

My father couldn't hold a job for as long as I can remember. So after he remarried, he was left at home with two kids who weren't his own with no social life and nothing to do save his woodworking in the basement. He became an alcoholic and killed himself when I was 13, and I suspect his complete and total failure to provide for his family in a way that was expected of him in a patriarchal society might, just might, have been a part of that.

So what you're saying to me and the guy you replied to was that my dad was a shiathead who should've been happy making lunch and mopping the floor?


As soon as I see the term Patriarchy, I assume that the person throwing the comment is a moron. It tends to be a safe assumption. I am sorry about your father, that is a sad story.
 
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