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(Newsday)   Woman walking by school, hit in head with stool. That isn't very cool, the thrower is a tool. Reports confirm there is no Dana, only Zool   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

7010 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2003 at 12:48 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

87 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-05-28 11:38:33 PM  
There once was a chick from Gramercy
Hit by a stool that she didn't see
Tossed from a school
by some young fool
Ensues Juvinile Jailarity.
2003-05-29 12:04:25 AM  
"...stool flung out a classroom window by a pair of roughhousing high school students fell six stories and hit her in the head, police said."

Well, that didn't turn out nearly as interesting as the first paragraph made it sound.
2003-05-29 12:05:25 AM  
You see, it's funny, because they flung their stool! Like a monkey!
2003-05-29 12:52:29 AM  
More like Zul.
2003-05-29 12:53:41 AM  
Dr. Seuss surrenders.
2003-05-29 12:55:24 AM  
Blasphemer! Dr Seuss bows to no one.
2003-05-29 12:55:41 AM  
Was she wearing a sweater made of wool?

/got nothing, 'cos I'm a fool
2003-05-29 12:55:45 AM  
Morrison said he held the woman's hand until the ambulance arrived.

... perv
2003-05-29 12:56:01 AM  
Doctechnical, legions of farkers past, present, and future salute you.

"I heard a commotion people screaming, yelling, 'Why you locking us in the rooms?'" said Nathaniel McCloud, 15. "There were mad police in the building."

Greatest. Quote. Ever.
2003-05-29 12:57:29 AM  
Ahahaha. Rickythepenguin, do you think he meant it in the "angry" since or the hiphop "mad skillz" kind of way?
2003-05-29 12:57:30 AM  

Brings back weird and strange memories of Ghostbusters. I had the firehouse along with action figures when I was a kid.

Bulging eyes...heh. Off to Ebay I go.

2003-05-29 12:57:50 AM  
I prefer my police happy.
2003-05-29 12:58:47 AM  

(for the Zool comment)
2003-05-29 01:00:22 AM  
There once was a lady named Jill
Who used a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her V-----
In North Carolina
And part of her T--- in Brazil
2003-05-29 01:00:27 AM  
What in the bloody blue hell was that?!
2003-05-29 01:03:23 AM  
There is no Dana, only Zool
It's the second clip.
2003-05-29 01:03:40 AM  
Haha! Goatfarker, I think that's possibly the best limerick I've ever heard.
2003-05-29 01:04:20 AM  
it's spelled "Zuul", dammit!

/Ghostbusters nerd
2003-05-29 01:04:45 AM  
Chicken little not available for comment.
2003-05-29 01:05:12 AM  
Riding a mule, on the way to Kabul, Pull on the wool, head to the pool, only a few'll drink O'Doule.... Do you think she will sue who threw the stool?

/I rule...I mean, I got nool....nothing
2003-05-29 01:05:51 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
"Are you the gatekeeper?"
2003-05-29 01:07:42 AM  
Zuul you idiot.

What a terrible headline.
2003-05-29 01:10:48 AM  
P.s. 10 bux said the kid who threw it was black.
2003-05-29 01:12:44 AM  
Oh my god! *laughs* That's a ridiculous assumption.
2003-05-29 01:13:02 AM  
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
I mean, S-M-A-R-T!
2003-05-29 01:13:41 AM  

My refreshing Dr. Pepper went everywhere
thanks to you!
2003-05-29 01:14:16 AM  
Canadian talent
2003-05-29 01:15:47 AM  
Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you!

I am Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer.
2003-05-29 01:17:30 AM  
Uh... ok. Thank you, Jester.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-29 01:21:05 AM  
Great headline!
2003-05-29 01:22:38 AM  
2003-05-29 01:23:47 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-29 01:26:15 AM  
David Margulies as Mayor: Is this true?
Peter: Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
2003-05-29 01:26:53 AM  
no poopy?
2003-05-29 01:27:30 AM  
Nice use of a classic Ghostbuster quote, btw.. new comic book coming out for GB fans.
2003-05-29 01:28:22 AM  
Right on, Trapezoid
2003-05-29 01:32:05 AM  
"I saw this woman walking. The next minute she wasn't walking..."

Wow. What a riveting, insightful account by this 'passerby'.

2003-05-29 01:40:11 AM  
That was one of the funniest descriptions ever.
2003-05-29 01:42:42 AM  
Don't cross the streams.
2003-05-29 01:43:45 AM  
At the end of the article, some of their fellow students say the offenders were just throwing stuff out the windows for fun. That's what I figured... It's kind of hard to throw a stool out a window unless you "really" want to.

I've got the perfect punishment for these wise guys:

Take the kids upstairs to the window and show them a whole "David-Letterman assortment" of crap, just like he used to throw off a tower. Melons of all shapes and sizes, fruits, veggies, all sorts of food-product liquids in plastic bags and of course, a dozen actual bowling balls.

Then bring the offenders downstairs, then chain their legs to the sidewalk below the windows so they can't move around too much. Let the pelting begin. But before throwing each bit of harmless food product, announce exactly what is coming. "here comes a ziplock freezer bag of mayonnaise", "here comes the core of a watermelon", "here comes a bag of oil and vinegar dijon vinaigrette".

Now for the bowling balls, once the kids have established with their own eyes and hands that you have actual, "real bowling balls", replace them with kick-balls painted shiny black with a few dark spots for the finger holes.

So when you've used up most of the fruit products, announce "here come the bowling balls!"

Then toss out a dozen or so of the painted kick-ball, "bowling balls". If they don't piss themselves, they have to go through another round of veggie pelting. Oh yeah, video the whole thing and upload it to the internet.

That'll learn 'em.
2003-05-29 01:44:36 AM  
the engineering building where i went to college was named dana. when someone asked how you were doing after a long night studying or working on a project, "there is no dana, only zuul!" was a pretty common reply.
2003-05-29 01:45:15 AM  
serves her rite, what do u expect were on "high alert" she was clearly slacking off. Its every americans duty.....
2003-05-29 01:45:20 AM  
Random....that is terribl......bly beautiful, man.
2003-05-29 02:01:36 AM  
Rick Springfield
Don't Talk to Strangers

When you were just a young girl and still in school
How come you never learned the golden rule?
Don't talk to strange men, don't be a fool
I'm hearing stories, I don't think that's cool
2003-05-29 02:06:37 AM  
"She was very lucky," said James Saunders, a hospital spokesman.

I guess I must be the unluckiest person ever. I walked by no less than three 6 story buildings today and didn't get hit by so much as a wad of bird crap. By the same token, dishwasher lady 5 threads back apparently hit the jackpot.
2003-05-29 02:13:09 AM  
Jesus, what kind of high school is eight stories high, and has windows that OPEN?!

Isn't that just begging for trouble?
2003-05-29 02:39:28 AM  
i vote we all give RandomRandom money.
2003-05-29 02:42:09 AM  
She's just lucky it wasn't a milk crate, 'cause then they'd have to ticket her not only for stopping on the street while pregnant, but also for illegal use of a milk crate.
2003-05-29 03:22:30 AM  
Helga: Now throw a kiss and say bye-bye. Oh dear, nothing left, what shall we throw in now?
2003-05-29 03:28:17 AM  
Best headline EVAR.
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