zez: Kaymon: FTFA:
Part of the reason seems to be that moms expect to be relieved of stereotypical chores such as cooking and cleaning up on Mother's Day, but that doesn't always happen.

I don't know any dads that hope for/expect an extra day off work.

as a stay at home dad I got a kick out of your reply

Second that.

Leprechaundumb: fruitylips: Last year for Father's Day, my wife rounded up the kids and took them to out for the day, leaving me home alone for 6 solid, uninterrupted hours on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

She knew exactly what I *really* wanted...

Yes.. We know

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It's true. All I want tomorrow is two hours by myself with xhamster.com

This is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage.

to all you fathers of daughters out there...



Link (new window)

IAmRight: SQLInjector: My favorite fictional dad? Anferny Aderson in the the pilot episode of Wikipedia Brown (new window)....or maybe The doctor from Cider House

Randy Marsh is the greatest fictional dad ever created. There isn't even a close second place.

I stand corrected if only for that one episode where his pants fall off when he's fighting.
//or maybe explaining the finer points of gambling to his son.

When I was young(er) and stupid(er), I broke a table by a series of crash landings (I was pretty sure that I was Batman at the time).

Dad found out, gave me a stern talkin'-to, then showed me how to fix it properly. Still have this great photo at my parents' house of my dad and I holding up half a table, him smiling cheerfully and me scared shiatless, haha.

15 years down the road, the table may have a gigantic crack through it but the bastard holds together just fine.

Love you Dad.

/BELATED WARNING: Boring anecdote. Gotta be sappy somewhere though.

My wife got me three pounds of gourmet bacon for father's day. It is tasty stuff, but not what I wanted. I got it early because she's working Friday through Monday this week. All I want is a half decent cigar, a small bottle of scotch, and a full day to spend fly fishing/sitting on the riverbank smoking my cigar and sipping my scotch without having to deal with kiddos. But, I know that's waaay too easy and cheap, so it'll never happen. She'll just keep over-analyzing and I'll end up with tons of crap I don't want.

(my wife is the worst present shopper ever)

I'm a father, so I really getting a kick out of these replies.

/got nuthin

The only think that kinda bugs me is that the kids are still in school on Mother's day so they get gifts made by the kids, they are out by fathers day.

But it is a minor annoyance at best. Tomorrow it is Elitch Gardens and then grilling in the back yard. Just me and the kids, and I am really looking forward to it.

fruitylips: Kaymon: I don't know any dads that hope for/expect an extra day off work.

Last year for Father's Day, my wife rounded up the kids and took them to out for the day, leaving me home alone for 6 solid, uninterrupted hours on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

She knew exactly what I *really* wanted...

So to celebrate father's day the one thing you wanted was to be away from your kids?

Winner.

"Part of the reason seems to be that moms expect to be relieved of stereotypical chores such as cooking and cleaning up on Mother's Day, but that doesn't always happen. Fathers traditionally don't have that role in the family."

I do all the cooking and cleaning in our household so fark off moms. They get thanked for being glorified babysitters and Im expected to hold a job AND do half what she does or im a shiatty dad...
/misogynist.
//getting me a card is the quickest way to piss me off. spend that 4 dollars on bacon instead.

Roquefort: /always wondered why it's acceptable to call your father your "old man" but you would never call your mom your "old lady"

Because Dad thought it was impressive and Mom would whack you with a rolled up magazine?

DingleberryMoose: specialk111: Not sure if this counts as my first father's day or what, but I'm pretty stoked about being a dad in the near future. Our girl is due in Nov. - should be an interesting ride.

/waiting for the snark to commence
//any advice?

Clean your guns when the boyfriends are over. Show them your stuffed deer head. Show them paper with slightly burned holes placed very close to each other. Smile at them constantly while you do this. Explain to them that your grandchildren will be getting SSI checks after you murder their father. Pretty much what cmunic8r99 said.



/it's a good thing both my kids are boys

and the fact that your boys will experience this kind of bullshiat macho behavior from the fathers of the girls they're getting to know doesn't bother you?

Seriously, this attitude is neolithic bullshiat. Represents jealously guarding the virginity you'd rather take for yourself.

Current wife's father pulled that crap with a shiatty Remington 12-gauge (she was 19 at the time). I pulled my CWP out of the wallet, and put my Walther on the table... said "she's in good hands". He left it at that.

/no ITG... real story, illustrates the point.
//I know, cool bro.

I ask for the same thing from my two kids. Give me a hug and tell me that you love me. That's all I need.

boilersoxfan: I ask for the same thing from my two kids. Give me a hug and tell me that you love me. That's all I need.


how is it possible to have such an enormous vagina and still be a father?!!!!?

Sahrial: DingleberryMoose: specialk111: Not sure if this counts as my first father's day or what, but I'm pretty stoked about being a dad in the near future. Our girl is due in Nov. - should be an interesting ride.

/waiting for the snark to commence
//any advice?

Clean your guns when the boyfriends are over. Show them your stuffed deer head. Show them paper with slightly burned holes placed very close to each other. Smile at them constantly while you do this. Explain to them that your grandchildren will be getting SSI checks after you murder their father. Pretty much what cmunic8r99 said.



/it's a good thing both my kids are boys

and the fact that your boys will experience this kind of bullshiat macho behavior from the fathers of the girls they're getting to know doesn't bother you?

Seriously, this attitude is neolithic bullshiat. Represents jealously guarding the virginity you'd rather take for yourself.

Current wife's father pulled that crap with a shiatty Remington 12-gauge (she was 19 at the time). I pulled my CWP out of the wallet, and put my Walther on the table... said "she's in good hands". He left it at that.

/no ITG... real story, illustrates the point.
//I know, cool bro.

Didn't bother to read the rest of the thread before you commented, did you?

I've got one of each, and an unknown (until next week maybe) arriving the friday after thanksgiving (3rd c-section, its nice to just make an appointment). Only immediate thing is to be sure you have a car seat and are ready to mount it properly before heading home.

All I ever wanted (and still do) is happy and healthy. Anything beyond that is a bonus. Do pretty much the same thing with both - shooting, fishing, swimming in the springs, canoeing, etc. - either all together or one at a time.

However, there is something special about Daddy's Little Girl. :)

Sahrial: DingleberryMoose: specialk111: Not sure if this counts as my first father's day or what, but I'm pretty stoked about being a dad in the near future. Our girl is due in Nov. - should be an interesting ride.

/waiting for the snark to commence
//any advice?

Clean your guns when the boyfriends are over. Show them your stuffed deer head. Show them paper with slightly burned holes placed very close to each other. Smile at them constantly while you do this. Explain to them that your grandchildren will be getting SSI checks after you murder their father. Pretty much what cmunic8r99 said.



/it's a good thing both my kids are boys

and the fact that your boys will experience this kind of bullshiat macho behavior from the fathers of the girls they're getting to know doesn't bother you?

Seriously, this attitude is neolithic bullshiat. Represents jealously guarding the virginity you'd rather take for yourself.

Current wife's father pulled that crap with a shiatty Remington 12-gauge (she was 19 at the time). I pulled my CWP out of the wallet, and put my Walther on the table... said "she's in good hands". He left it at that.

/no ITG... real story, illustrates the point.
//I know, cool bro.

So you counter macho bullshiat with macho bullshiat?

Also: Represents jealously guarding the virginity you'd rather take for yourself.


You have issues if you believe this.

DingleberryMoose:Pic from 2008 in Big Bend National Park related:


Big Bend National Park has got to be one of the best kept "secrets" in Texas. Also the rest of your post is dead on.

FriarReb98: jst3p:
Ya, I'm not up with this. I'd give quite a bit to spend tomorrow with dad anywhere but his gravesite.

Exactly...just like a kid. It's Father's Day and yur biatchin' about what *you* want.

What I want is one afternoon where I can nap and putter around.

Yur dad's already got plenty of quiet time...

While not started as a commercial endeavour, it's a Hallmark holiday in 2010. Meh.

fruitylips: FriarReb98: jst3p:
Ya, I'm not up with this. I'd give quite a bit to spend tomorrow with dad anywhere but his gravesite.

Exactly...just like a kid. It's Father's Day and yur biatchin' about what *you* want.

What I want is one afternoon where I can nap and putter around.

Yur dad's already got plenty of quiet time...

Your response made me laugh, but I have thought about it and I think my point of view might be skewed. I am a divorced dad with 50% custody. I get half the week to nap and putter around. So as much as I enjoy those days, they are common. I also (due to mom's schedule) have them every weekend and since I work a mostly 9-5 this works out great for the kids and I.

As a matter of fact I think I have it all. My kids half the time, but I can plan on devoting all that time to them. Half the time to myself to do whatever the hell I want.

Holy shiat, I am living the dream!

/divorce is final next month
//calling into the court hearing
///from Disneyland (no joke, planned vacation with the kids)
////it really is the happiest place on earth

jst3p: My kids half the time, but I can plan on devoting all that time to them. Half the time to myself to do whatever the hell I want.

I don't want to drop to 50/50 at all. A Sunday or two a year works just fine.

Apparently my daughter decided that I want to get up early and go to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk with alla dem tomorrow morning. There are worse ways to spend a day, but that is not in the top 100 ways I'd've picked.

Of course, it'll make her happy to think she's making me happy and that is in the top 10 (a few spots after sleep in and nap all day, tho...).

I'll be at the graveyard tomorrow with a little girl that will be missing her daddy.

All you fellas that want a day away from your kids, that's fine. But not Father's day, spend that with the kids. Take next weekend for your R&R time.

Weapon of Mass Consumption: Also the rest of your post is dead on.

Thank you. That's experience from both life and work.

TheMaskedArmadillo: It wasn't Father's Day, but my birthday. I was doing some power-diving on the far south coast of eastern Mexico...No phones, no TV's etc. When I got home, I had a message on the phone - to paraphrase "Dad - Don't know where the hell you are, or when the hell your coming home, but Happy Birthday. Love ya".

At that point I knew I had won as a father...


That is going to be similar to my father's day, in a way. I'm going to the desert offroading with a couple of guns (no tin can is going to be safe} and a bottle of Oban, no cell coverage.

/My dad is 2000 miles away and always works on fathers day.

Gramma: I'll be at the graveyard tomorrow with a little girl that will be missing her daddy.

All you fellas that want a day away from your kids, that's fine. But not Father's day, spend that with the kids. Take next weekend for your R&R time.

My condolences on your and their loss. Truly.

That said, there's no need for this kind of judgment. Your life experience has nothing to do with mine or most here. I work extremely long hours, most mornings I'm engaged before I get my pants on, much less have a cup of coffee. I work as the chief data architect for an extremely successful .com. The machines never sleep and there's always about 20tb of data trying to go wrong and kill the entire company. 14 hour days are the norm, not the exception and a weekend off is nonexistent. That's my life.

Now, before you get all indignant labeling me a workaholic who ignores his family, get this. I do it from home while playing with and teaching my two preschool children who are bright, well adjusted and the best part, happy.

It's been months since I've seen 6 hours to myself. While my reasons may be different, I can tell you it'd be at the top of my wish list for father's day. It won't happen, and that's fine too, but please don't start telling those of us with terribly different experiences what to do with our time/wishes.

spaten: That is going to be similar to my father's day, in a way. I'm going to the desert offroading with a couple of guns (no tin can is going to be safe} and a bottle of Oban, no cell coverage.

Just be sure you finish with the guns before you break out the booze, or we'll be having your wake...

Chester the Snake: I will always remember, as teens, we asked our dad what he wanted for Father's Day and he told us a digital watch. He made over 100K a year and he wanted a $5.00 watch. God bless him.

You win and so does your father!

smegforbrains: When I was young(er) and stupid(er), I broke a table by a series of crash landings (I was pretty sure that I was Batman at the time).

Dad found out, gave me a stern talkin'-to, then showed me how to fix it properly. Still have this great photo at my parents' house of my dad and I holding up half a table, him smiling cheerfully and me scared shiatless, haha.

15 years down the road, the table may have a gigantic crack through it but the bastard holds together just fine.

Love you Dad.

/BELATED WARNING: Boring anecdote. Gotta be sappy somewhere though.

My parents were both very shiatty. I envy your experience. A LOT!

ko_kyi: I'd give about anything to do something for my dad today. He's been dead since '01.

/dusty in here

Sorry farkette.

Mother's Day happens when school is in session. Teachers (mostly female and mothers themselves) in elementary schools across the country make a big deal our making Mother's Day gifts in class and art.

Father's Day? Mid June. All kids care about is the beach and sleeping in.

/nope. I'm not bitter.
//really

dead_dangler: fruitylips: Kaymon:
Oh. My. God.

I've heard rumors of this, but I thought they were urban legends.

I have that beat. Daughter is in PA, son is at grandma's. Done.

DingleberryMoose: spaten: That is going to be similar to my father's day, in a way. I'm going to the desert offroading with a couple of guns (no tin can is going to be safe} and a bottle of Oban, no cell coverage.

Just be sure you finish with the guns before you break out the booze, or we'll be having your wake...

Always, treat them loaded. My Father taught me well.

I forgot to add, just like women.

If my dad were still alive, I'd make damn sure he got The Big Piece of Chicken.

/love ya Dad
//miss ya

Eight lessons my father taught me (paraphrase):

1. The world is a harsh place, but people are generally good.
2. It's OK to go for the eyes or crotch if the other guy throws the first punch.
3. Nobody likes a bad speller.
4. 'Job satisfaction' is a myth cooked up by bosses and German-speaking people. Don't expect any; consider yourself lucky if you get any.
5. Hope for the best but PREPARE FOR THE WORST.
6. Tell the truth, even if it's offensive. Avoid easily-offended people; they have poor character.
7. Customer service personnel are under a lot of stress and don't make a heck of a lot of money and deserve your respect. That having been said, if you think one is intentionally screwing you over, you must conduct full-scale psychological warfare against them until they clean up their act. This benefits the entire community.
8. Read everything.

Saturday Night Meningitis: Eight lessons my father taught me (paraphrase):

1. The world is a harsh place, but people are generally good.
2. It's OK to go for the eyes or crotch if the other guy throws the first punch.
3. Nobody likes a bad speller.
4. 'Job satisfaction' is a myth cooked up by bosses and German-speaking people. Don't expect any; consider yourself lucky if you get any.
5. Hope for the best but PREPARE FOR THE WORST.
6. Tell the truth, even if it's offensive. Avoid easily-offended people; they have poor character.
7. Customer service personnel are under a lot of stress and don't make a heck of a lot of money and deserve your respect. That having been said, if you think one is intentionally screwing you over, you must conduct full-scale psychological warfare against them until they clean up their act. This benefits the entire community.
8. Read everything.

The first four of those are complete bullshiat. That list makes it seem like your dad is an idiot, and has passed it on to you.

R.A.Danny: The good) My wife is mowing the lawn while my son and I are on the couch watching Toy Story.

The Bad) My ex made me negotiate for a few hours with my daughter tonight, like she's doing me a favor.

Should have been spelled out in the custody agreement. Don't get me wrong, she sounds like a biatch, but I can't imagine why this isn't in your paperwork.

I got you all beat. My wife is taking the kids and going to visit her parents FOR A WEEK!!!

heineken-kin: Sorry farkette.

Thanks, ITG.