nah. my discs are fine. it hurts cause i weigh 600 pounds.

I thought I could have a tense back.

Walker

I grew tits and my balls fell off. Is that a symptom?


Of course not, you idiot.

That would be TWO symptoms.

:-)

More likely thought you've got the menses

No, I wasn't more likely to think that.

/yeah, I know they fixed the headline.

he simply missed the comma key and hit the thought key

One of their finest (half) hours...

Aw, man! I figured it's just because I'm fat.

Is that like the diabeetus?

Whew! That's a relief. I've had trouble bending over, walking, lifting... Glad it's not 'cause I'm a total fat ass.

I feel better now! I thought I was pathetically out of shape. I hope there's a "syndrome" for it soon.

Out of nine symptoms associated with the disease, the three most important included decreased frequency of morning erection, decreased frequency of sexual thoughts (or sex drive), and erectile dysfunction

Pretty safe to say it's just a herniated disk

If you legitimately read this on Fox News without a FARK link, it's not "male menopause", it's because you have spinal stress from keeping your head so far up your ass.

Let's give menopause a men-applause

Really? And I thought it was my broken leg.

Sounds more like lazy-ass husband looking for an excuse to do nothing on the weekend but drink beer syndrome.
I think it must be an epidemic!

2% of elderly males does not make it "more likely."

Also, correlation does not mean causation. There is a high correlation between sunny days and lawn mowing. That does not mean that lawn mowing causes sunny days.

I played football through middle and high school and worked in a sporting goods store in college. A few years ago I had horrible pain shooting through my entire right side whenever I sat down, stood up or walked for more than 30 minutes. After I had tests done (MRI or whatever) my physical therapist illustrated one of the disks in my back by crushing a jelly donut between her hands.

/bad story bro
//Sciatica (new window)

I thought it was because I was a fat piece of crap.

It's nice to know I have an excuse now, I was about to go exercise!

I've got sciatica and trochanteric busrsitis now so I'm not getting a kick out out of this (or kicking anything either)

5'9 164lbs & in shape too...or was

The Homer Tax: I thought it was because I was a fat piece of crap.

It's nice to know I have an excuse now, I was about to go exercise!

Well, you do still have 25 minutes left to cancel that gym appointment ;-)

I hurt myself humping 6 sniper rifles plus gear for my group in the Core in HS ROTSEE, things never were the same. Luckily, using the same technology as Vanna White, the docs got me back to good as new!

really, and this whole time i thought it was because i was fat

I've lost 60 lbs, run 15 miles a week, and cycle on my off days. Does it hurt when I bend, kneel, or stoop? Hell, YES!

I'm 45 and all that exercise is killing me!

YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT JIMMY-JIMMY I CAN RUN I CAN DO CARTWHEELS FOR A MILE

cwheelie: I've got sciatica and trochanteric busrsitis now so I'm not getting a kick out out of this (or kicking anything either)

5'9 164lbs & in shape too...or was

Physical therapy did wonders for me. Best part was the chick strapped me to some bed (giggity) and buckled this real tight strap across my chest and waist and then started up this device that literally made me feel like I was being torn apart. Did that twice a week for 3 months and came out feeling like a million bucks.

only affects two percent of elderly men and is often linked to poor general health and obesity.

Fat causes all sorts of wackiness with your hormones.

So ya, not menopause, just fatti fat fatness.

Genju: cwheelie: I've got sciatica and trochanteric busrsitis now so I'm not getting a kick out out of this (or kicking anything either)

5'9 164lbs & in shape too...or was

Physical therapy did wonders for me. Best part was the chick strapped me to some bed (giggity) and buckled this real tight strap across my chest and waist and then started up this device that literally made me feel like I was being torn apart. Did that twice a week for 3 months and came out feeling like a million bucks.

is that what the kids are calling it these days? ;)

if you think the comments on fark are absolutely useless (see above) anymore, try reddit. Only 80% useless there, but actually intelligent oftentimes.

nosajghoul: reddit

buzzkill much? what crawled up your pooper and died?

Genju: Physical therapy did wonders for me. Best part was the chick strapped me to some bed (giggity) and buckled this real tight strap across my chest and waist and then started up this device that literally made me feel like I was being torn apart. Did that twice a week for 3 months and came out feeling like a million bucks.

That would be traction. I ended up having that done after a car accident, my gosh was it wonderful. My TENS unit brought a lot of relief, ultrasound therapy some mild relief, but really the best thing was strengthening my back and abdominal muscles and losing excess weight.

Oddly enough, my rather hot physical therapist also suggested I actually wear my corset more often, as it can have a similar effect on the spine.

mettle-metal: Genju: Physical therapy did wonders for me. Best part was the chick strapped me to some bed (giggity) and buckled this real tight strap across my chest and waist and then started up this device that literally made me feel like I was being torn apart. Did that twice a week for 3 months and came out feeling like a million bucks.

That would be traction. I ended up having that done after a car accident, my gosh was it wonderful. My TENS unit brought a lot of relief, ultrasound therapy some mild relief, but really the best thing was strengthening my back and abdominal muscles and losing excess weight.

Oddly enough, my rather hot physical therapist also suggested I actually wear my corset more often, as it can have a similar effect on the spine.

Yup, she described it as basically stretching the discs apart in my back to try and recover the gel stuff that was seeping out from between them (hence the jelly donut illustration). Good images.

Do you need a break half way through a fap?

mettle-metal: Genju: Physical therapy did wonders for me. Best part was the chick strapped me to some bed (giggity) and buckled this real tight strap across my chest and waist and then started up this device that literally made me feel like I was being torn apart. Did that twice a week for 3 months and came out feeling like a million bucks.

That would be traction. I ended up having that done after a car accident, my gosh was it wonderful. My TENS unit brought a lot of relief, ultrasound therapy some mild relief, but really the best thing was strengthening my back and abdominal muscles and losing excess weight.

Oddly enough, my rather hot physical therapist also suggested I actually wear my corset more often, as it can have a similar effect on the spine.

I am picturing you both dressed like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror Picture Show.

AbbeySomeone: I am picturing you both dressed like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Actually, given that I'm female, Columbia might be a bit more apt.

/not that there's anything wrong with Tim Curry in a corset

I thought those were the symptoms of marriage....

Genju: Physical therapy did wonders for me. Best part was the chick strapped me to some bed (giggity) and buckled this real tight strap across my chest and waist and then started up this device that literally made me feel like I was being torn apart. Did that twice a week for 3 months and came out feeling like a million bucks.

Thanks for the tip - given your description I'll stick to vicodin washed down with stolie (and some dark side of the moon)

Did someone say 'male menopause'?

/Hot like Michael Evans
//Good Times!
///Obscure?

The real problem isn't low testosterone, it is estrogen.

Males have a little estrogen in their blood, much like females have a little testosterone in theirs. However, when male testosterone levels decrease, the estrogen can bind to receptors normally reserved for testosterone. This is very bad, and can cause all sorts of health problems.

What makes matters worse is that just supplementing testosterone levels at that point may make things worse. A big example is prostate cancer. The estrogen may cause it, but adding testosterone may make it much worse. So doctors often give these men medicine so that they will make less testosterone.

In truth, they may need estrogen blockers. And once they are blocked, then to increase testosterone levels.

We're still trying to figure it all out.

i've been in awful pain for the last year from 2 herniated discs in my back smashing my spinal cord and the nerves going down my legs. i got laid off and lost my insurance so my family helped me pay for getting an MRI and 2 steroid injections. after those didn't work my doctor said i should talk to a surgeon and apply for iowa care to help pay for the surgery. a few months later iowa care calls me and say that they don't see anything wrong with my MRI and that i'm not in pain all the time as far as they can tell from my records. they said they'll set me up with a doctors appointment in a few months to check me out. in the mean time i can't work because i'm in constant pain, i'm probably going to get addicted to the vicodin they have me on, or i'm going to get arrested buying weed which helps me not want to kill myself. i'm so glad they passed healthcare reform so i can get all this free socialist medicine.

whammer: The real problem isn't low testosterone, it is estrogen.

Males have a little estrogen in their blood, much like females have a little testosterone in theirs. However, when male testosterone levels decrease, the estrogen can bind to receptors normally reserved for testosterone. This is very bad, and can cause all sorts of health problems.

What makes matters worse is that just supplementing testosterone levels at that point may make things worse. A big example is prostate cancer. The estrogen may cause it, but adding testosterone may make it much worse. So doctors often give these men medicine so that they will make less testosterone.

In truth, they may need estrogen blockers. And once they are blocked, then to increase testosterone levels.

We're still trying to figure it all out.

It is the ratio of testosterone:estrogen. Too much or too little e will make you feel terrible, and too little test will as well. Too much test could also, but that is pretty unlikely.

Whenever I think of menopause, I picture a Golden Delicious apple, too.

Get away from me! I don't want to catch the menopause!

NoGods: 2% of elderly males does not make it "more likely."

Also, correlation does not mean causation. There is a high correlation between sunny days and lawn mowing. That does not mean that lawn mowing causes sunny days.

Well, sunny days are much more likely to cause mowing than are rainy days - or snowy! :P

____
/Never understood: women get menopause --- why don't men get 'womanopause'??

____
//nosajghoul: if you think the comments on fark are absolutely useless (see above) anymore, try reddit. Only 80% useless there, but actually intelligent oftentimes.

The comments are the only reason I PAID into TotalFark! (you silly dum-dum head. nah nanny boo-boo)

((so, there))

fjnorton: Nope still get morning wood so Im ok, I just can't see it anymore.

He's old enough to get Dickiedoo Syndrome.

That's when you stomach sticks out further than your dickie do.

The More You Know...

whammer: The real problem isn't low testosterone, it is estrogen.

Males have a little estrogen in their blood, much like females have a little testosterone in theirs. However, when male testosterone levels decrease, the estrogen can bind to receptors normally reserved for testosterone. This is very bad, and can cause all sorts of health problems.

What makes matters worse is that just supplementing testosterone levels at that point may make things worse. A big example is prostate cancer. The estrogen may cause it, but adding testosterone may make it much worse. So doctors often give these men medicine so that they will make less testosterone.

In truth, they may need estrogen blockers. And once they are blocked, then to increase testosterone levels.

We're still trying to figure it all out.

The shots suck.
The gel stinks.
The patches are a pain in the ass.

That is all...