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Drew talks about the World Cup, with special emphasis on the delicate lullaby of the majestic vuvuzelAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA . Also, Headlines of the Week for 6/6 - 6/12 
Posted by Drew at 2010-06-15 2:41:47 PM (77 comments) | Permalink
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4598 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jun 2010 at 2:41 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Most of you know I play soccer 3-4 times a week. I've played since I was six and I really love the game. However I'm not as big a fan of watching it. No idea why but it never caught on for me. That being said though, you haven't lived until you've seen a live premier league match in England. Even if you're not a soccer fan you'll love it. It's similar to how going to baseball games in person is a lot more fun than watching on TV, except better because there is some serious crowd energy at live soccer matches.

Most people generally don't pay a lot of attention to soccer either but they're at least trying to watch some of the games. And they all have pretty much the same reaction: what the hell is that goddamn noise?

If you've watched even one of the televised World Cup games, you've probably been annoyed by the droning hum of the vuvuzelas. Turns out that African nations love to blow the traditional meter-long horns at soccer matches - incessantly. Why? Probably alcohol related.

At any rate, even people in soccer-loving countries are complaining about them. FIFA looked into banning them, but they decided not to do it because they didn't want to be seen as culturally insensitive. Which is an odd decision in my opinion, I don't think I'd ever choose cultural sensitivity over RUINING THE SPORT FOR THE REST OF THE FREAKIN' PLANET. But apparently FIFA is run by a bunch of pansies and loud culturally-related hornblowing has won the day. I'm hoping in the future they'll honor my cultural tradition of sitting in the front row at any game I attend, otherwise I'll be deeply offended.

I was doing some research on how this bullshiat cultural phenomenon came about and I ran across this interesting article from 2009: The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup. Deadspin tried to warn us, folks.

So for those of you new to soccer who still choose to watch the World Cup, do what I do and turn the volume off. You're not missing any interesting commentary anyhow.

Now if they can just get rid of pointless ultra-slow motion clips between plays we could get back to complaining about the grass-diving and knee-grabbing. Speaking of which, a friend of mine asked which sport has more dives in an attempt to get fouls called, basketball or soccer? I think it's a tossup.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-06-06 to Sat 2010-06-12:

img1.fark.net  Four charged in auto parts theft. Reportedly building a '49, '50, '51, '52, '53, '54, '55, '56, '57, '58, '59 automobile    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Nude snorkelers try to set world record for the most fish scared away    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Congratulations to Rush Limbaugh for protecting the sanctity of marriage for the fourth time    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Australian cafe creates record sized burger. Or, as Americans call it, a "medium"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  One in three kids have viewed porn online by the age of ten. The other two still resort to finding it at the back of dad's wardrobe    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Study shows that children of two-lesbian families have fewer behavioral problems, more Indigo Girls CDs    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Galileo's middle finger goes in display in Italian museum. Curators oriented it so that it's facing the Vatican, for old time's sake    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  After four years, Army finally agrees to pay soldier for leg lost in Iraq. Soldier stumped as to why it took so long    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Young men more vulnerable to relationship ups and downs than women, according to the Institute for Guys Who Had Their Hearts Torn From Their Chests By Soul-Crushing Succubi    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Sims arrested for murdering stepson, presumably by building a pool with no ladder which stepson could not get out of    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  A 'mystery woman' has put forth another claim to Gary Coleman's estate. Sadly, the estate consists of a savings account of $4.67, an autographed photo of Gordon Jump and a '73 Ford Pinto    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  MLB Hall Of Fame to get first base, a ball, and Armando Galarraga's spikes from his near-perfect game. MLB said they hadn't seen something that poorly blown since Paris Hilton's sex tape    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Did Pete Rose use a corked bat while chasing the all-time hits record? You bet    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  United States defeat England 1-1    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Tattoo may help track blood sugar, da plane    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Study shows that gay men are skinnier than straight men, and lesbians are plumper than straight women. And Subaru has a car to fit them all    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Good: Calvin Klein cologne can be used to attract cougars. Bad: And jaguars    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Wheel of Fortune hostess dies of intestine rupture. If only she'd bought a bowel    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Kim Kardashian reportedly replacing Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft. Croft now expected to just lay there during action sequences    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Jennifer Aniston is on the Cox diet, but it unclear how much she swallows    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Iranian president says sanctions are "like a used hankerchief". He should know, he's been jerking the U.N. off for the last four years    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Obama refuses to meet with the men who were killed during the Deepwater Explorer explosion    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gov. Crist vetoes bill which would require a woman to view an ultrasound, paint nursery prior to abortion    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  17 arrested at Dave Matthews Band concert. That's a start    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Canadians are suing Ehrosmith after the band cancelled several shows    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Lead singer for Katrina & The Waves was considering suicide at the time Walkin' on Sunshine became a big hit. Not that you can blame her    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  "Blackwater" is back, after "Xe Services" proved to be inert    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Uncle Ben calms currency markets, fondled you at family reunions    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Parents in uproar over sugary chocolate formula being marketed for kids. They're going to blog their protests as soon as they get the kids settled in front of the TV for the evening    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


77 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-06-15 02:47:10 PM
I think the whole foul system in the NBA is completely borked. There really isn't an equal comparison.
 
2010-06-15 02:50:18 PM
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
2010-06-15 02:50:28 PM
inb4 BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
2010-06-15 02:50:43 PM
Most of you know I play soccer 3-4 times a week.

Did anyone know this? I didn't know this.

Is "play soccer" a euphemism for "drink beer"? Does "week" mean "day" in Kentucky?
 
2010-06-15 02:51:05 PM
Drew
Isn't there a greatest headline of the week you are missing?
Maybe, one you wrote... and edited?
 
2010-06-15 02:51:12 PM
ne2d: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Z ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

PowerSlacker: inb4 BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

BZZZFAAAAILZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
2010-06-15 02:51:40 PM
So THAT's what that annoying farking sound is.
 
2010-06-15 02:51:42 PM
well fark.
 
2010-06-15 02:51:52 PM
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
2010-06-15 02:53:13 PM
Soccer is for the gheys...

/if the foo shiats.
 
2010-06-15 02:53:42 PM
img171.imageshack.us
 
2010-06-15 02:53:55 PM
Golf is more exciting.
 
2010-06-15 02:54:10 PM
After watching Portugal vs. Ivory Coast, I am pretty sure Portugal is coached by Mike Krzyzewski.

Other than that match I haven't seen nearly as much diving as I did in previous Cups, so I am pretty pleased so far.
 
2010-06-15 02:54:11 PM
The best headline this week had something to do with deleting the politics queue ansd telling us all to go get lives.

/A drunk Drew is a funny Drew.
 
2010-06-15 02:54:21 PM
Is this the "In America we don't like soccer because it's boring" thread, or the "You Americans are all racist morons because you don't like football, and insist on calling it by its wrong name" thread?
 
2010-06-15 02:55:12 PM
I don't mind watching soccer, OH MY GOD, I JUST TORE OFF MY FINGERNAIL WHILE TYPING THIS, I'M ON THE TURF, OH GOD, I THINK I'M GOING TO PUKE! I FEEL LIKE MY MOM CHANGED RELIGIONS AND KICKED ME OUT OF THE BASEMENT!

Oh wait, no farkmenscomp? Nevermind, I can play.
 
2010-06-15 02:55:42 PM
Swarms of locusts. Makes me itch. But I can't make myself mute it, because I would miss the British commentators saying things like, "The fans are absolutely going POTTY in the stands!"

Tee hee... this amuses my inner seven year old.
 
2010-06-15 02:55:47 PM
DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Is this the "In America we don't like soccer because it's boring" thread, or the "You Americans are all racist morons because you don't like football, and insist on calling it by its wrong name" thread?

It's the "2010 WC blows because of BZZZZZZZZZZZZ" thread.
 
2010-06-15 02:56:54 PM
boomquita: Other than that match I haven't seen nearly as much diving as I did in previous Cups, so I am pretty pleased so far.

The relative lack of diving has been a huge relief which almost cancels out the droning noise of a dying buzzard which still echos in my ears. Italy doesn't stand a chance.
 
2010-06-15 02:59:26 PM

And the sign in the stands at the North Korea/Brazil match:

KIM JONG IL THINKS I'M AT WORK!
 
2010-06-15 02:59:31 PM
I have been waiting all week for the Flo Rida one. Dammit!
 
2010-06-15 03:01:50 PM
GaryPDX: fearmongert: The best headline this week had something to do with deleting the politics queue ansd telling us all to go get lives.

/A drunk Drew is a funny Drew.

I missed that one.


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5397157
 
2010-06-15 03:01:58 PM
GaryPDX: fearmongert: The best headline this week had something to do with deleting the politics queue ansd telling us all to go get lives.

/A drunk Drew is a funny Drew.

I missed that one.


dude, seriously? I mean, it started Friday and ended an hour ago...
 
2010-06-15 03:02:07 PM
Philip J. Fry:

The relative lack of diving has been a huge relief which almost cancels out the droning noise of a dying buzzard which still echos in my ears. Italy doesn't stand a chance.


I was surprised Italy didn't dive as much as I expected. Although I did see plenty of "prayer hands" to the mouth following missed opportunities.

\wear headphones while watching the matches
 
2010-06-15 03:02:10 PM
NutWrench: So THAT's what that annoying farking sound is.

this

fail.
 
2010-06-15 03:02:53 PM
GaryPDX: I missed thBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZ
 
2010-06-15 03:04:24 PM
I watched USA V England, and a bit of Germany stomping Austrailia this weekend...I'm as far as it gets from someone who whines about noise, and I had to turn it off after a while.

That flub by the English goalie was hilarious.

Drunk Drew thread, more hilarious!
 
F42
2010-06-15 03:06:25 PM
I really love the game. However I'm not as big a fan of watching it. No idea why

Because the game of pro soccer consists of faking injuries in order to get other people thrown out of the field.
As soon as anyone moves within 12 feet of you, you throw yourself at the ground, clutching at your leg, and you yell in mock pain until you see a yellow card, at which point you are instantly healed and you can spring back up and look for someone else who might come within 12 feet of you.


FIFA looked into banning them, but they decided not to do it because they didn't want to be seen as culturally insensitive. Which is an odd decision in my opinion

"Cause a massive riot that would have shut down the games and killed hundreds of people."

You have to learn to tell the euphemisms apart from the real motivations, Drew. Thousands of drunk Africans, told they can't be as loud as they want because the White Man doesn't like it? They'd turn the stadium into a lake of blood.
 
2010-06-15 03:06:29 PM
GaryPDX: EighthDay: GaryPDX: fearmongert: The best headline this week had something to do with deleting the politics queue ansd telling us all to go get lives.

/A drunk Drew is a funny Drew.

I missed that one.

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5397157

Holy shiat!


It got a little silly
 
2010-06-15 03:06:55 PM
Uchiha_Cycliste: Drew
Isn't there a greatest headline of the week you are missing?
Maybe, one you wrote... and edited?


Don't forget the timely "fark it you're drunk too" greenlight.

Too lazy to look for a link. I still have no idea what that was a link to.
 
2010-06-15 03:08:12 PM
Oh my, yes. Watching soccer on TV would be about as fun as getting drunk one night and trashing the entire FARK politics.



/never understood why some like watching car races on TV!?!
 
2010-06-15 03:08:32 PM
Ashtrey: Uchiha_Cycliste: Drew
Isn't there a greatest headline of the week you are missing?
Maybe, one you wrote... and edited?

Don't forget the timely "fark it you're drunk too" greenlight.

Too lazy to look for a link. I still have no idea what that was a link to.


There's like some weird trend of Fark and Farkers liking drinking. Odd, I don't know how I could have missed that before now.
 
2010-06-15 03:08:36 PM
namegoeshere: And the sign in the stands at the North Korea/Brazil match:

KIM JONG IL THINKS I'M AT WORK!


Just saw this on North Korea's news site:

img571.imageshack.us
 
2010-06-15 03:08:38 PM
i46.tinypic.com
 
2010-06-15 03:09:36 PM
Is there anyone who likes watching soccer and doesn't enjoy watching cycling races?
Anyone who like cycling and not soccer?

For what reasons?

\I like soccer, too.
 
2010-06-15 03:12:28 PM
namegoeshere: Swarms of locusts. Makes me itch. But I can't make myself mute it, because I would miss the British commentators saying things like, "The fans are absolutely going POTTY in the stands!"

Well, that's what it sounds like, innit?

/don't drink the water
 
2010-06-15 03:12:52 PM
Hmmm - something is noticeably absent from the headlines of the week...
 
2010-06-15 03:12:58 PM
Why are there so few political headlines for last week I wonder . . . . {snicker}

/I saw what you did there!
 
2010-06-15 03:13:48 PM
possibly nsfw (new window)
 
2010-06-15 03:16:21 PM
calbert: possibly nsfw (new window)

christ, i wish i could grip a vulva like that.
 
2010-06-15 03:19:05 PM
spentmiles: namegoeshere: And the sign in the stands at the North Korea/Brazil match:

KIM JONG IL THINKS I'M AT WORK!

Just saw this on North Korea's news site:


Lol. And who the hell would play for NK anyway? Yeah, if you do well, you are a national hero and set for life. Make a stupid mistake, though, and they kill your grandma.

Yeesh, no pressure there.
 
2010-06-15 03:22:06 PM
I can understand people being annoyed, but I don't mind the buzzing at all.
 
2010-06-15 03:22:42 PM
It's that Woo Wooo!
 
2010-06-15 03:24:48 PM
downstairs: I can understand people being annoyed, but I don't mind the buzzing at all.

Yeah me either. Getting caught watching soccer is on level with getting caught wanking it though...
 
2010-06-15 03:24:54 PM
downstairs: I can understand people being annoyed, but I don't mind the buzzing at all.

Nor does yosoylachamuca.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-06-15 03:26:18 PM
Please mess with fark more, Drew.

It's really funny.
 
2010-06-15 03:31:18 PM
I like the horn.
 
2010-06-15 03:31:37 PM
EighthDay: http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5397157

The worst part of that was that he marked it "fascist".
 
2010-06-15 03:32:03 PM
Drew's deletion of EVERYTHING IN THE POLITICS QUEUE won the week easily.
 
2010-06-15 03:32:43 PM
RockIsDead 2010-06-15 02:53:55 PM
Golf is more exciting.


I've seen plays that were more exciting. Honest to God! Plays!

-- Homer Simpson
 
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