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(Cracked)   Six global warming side effects that are awesome, such as keeping that inevitable ice age at bay   (cracked.com) divider line 167
    More: Cool, Southern Europe, vehicular manslaughter, ecological damage, climate change debate, no-win situations, runaway climate change, Northern Europe, industrialized nations  
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19243 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2010 at 2:28 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-06-11 11:03:46 AM
see - it's not ALL bad.
 
2010-06-11 11:09:56 AM
i50.tinypic.com
 
2010-06-11 11:21:28 AM
Don't forget about how much fun it will be to dive for treasure in flooded coastal cities.
 
2010-06-11 11:22:42 AM
Sybarite: Don't forget about how much fun it will be to dive for treasure in flooded coastal cities.

At long last, Philadelphia will have clean streets.
 
2010-06-11 02:30:07 PM
Using the "Cool" tag for a global warming article. I see what you did thar.
 
2010-06-11 02:31:00 PM
#1: Skimpier clothes
 
2010-06-11 02:31:19 PM
To be fair, I haven't actually seen a real downside to global warming.
 
2010-06-11 02:32:18 PM
How much does Cracked pay for its daily plugs?
 
2010-06-11 02:33:07 PM
I don't know about where you live, but this year has been unseasonably cool. Spring has pushed deep into June.

I have no doubt that there are going to be weather pattern anomalies caused by the changing climate, but it's been pretty nice so far. One of the coolest on record.

Maybe we'll get some glacier growback this year.
 
2010-06-11 02:35:54 PM
Next time you hear the planet is "only" heating up by a degree or two due to man contributed greenhouse gases so who cares remember this tidbit:

The difference between average global temperatures today and during those ice ages is only about 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit), and these swings happen slowly, over hundreds of thousands of years. Link (new window)
 
2010-06-11 02:37:18 PM
Abominable snowmen and ice weasels? Both extinct.

Gee, thanks hairspray.
 
2010-06-11 02:37:54 PM
dead_dangler: To be fair, I haven't actually seen a real downside to global warming.

flooded coastal cities, lowered global agricultural output, more severe storms (summer and winter varieties), etc

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_global_warming
 
2010-06-11 02:38:54 PM
I can't RTFA because it's blocked at work, but actually global warming is theorized to be the *cause* of ice ages. As temperature increases water evaporates, which covers the planet in cloud, preventing solar heating, and that is what triggers the ice age.
 
2010-06-11 02:39:51 PM
Climate change. Climate Change! CLIMATE CHANGE!!! Hello? Am I talking to a wall here?
 
2010-06-11 02:41:29 PM
Kazan: dead_dangler: To be fair, I haven't actually seen a real downside to global warming.

flooded coastal cities, lowered global agricultural output, more severe storms (summer and winter varieties), etc

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_global_warming


So we should wish for global cooling so that we'd have more coastline, increased global agricultural output, and wimpy storms?

Yeah colder means you grow more food, right?
 
2010-06-11 02:42:04 PM
tothekor: Climate change. Climate Change! CLIMATE CHANGE!!! Hello? Am I talking to a wall here?

Yes, but climate change is a result of global warming.
 
2010-06-11 02:42:33 PM
Complete (with links) list of things global warming has been blamed for: http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/warmlist.htm

A complete list of things caused by global warming

Acne, agricultural land increase, Afghan poppies destroyed, African holocaust, aged deaths, poppies more potent, Africa devastated, Africa in conflict, African aid threatened, African summer frost, aggressive weeds, Air France crash, air pressure changes, airport farewells virtual, airport malaria, Agulhas current, Alaskan towns slowly destroyed, Al Qaeda and Taliban Being Helped, allergy increase, allergy season longer, alligators in the Thames, Alps melting, Amazon a desert, American dream end, amphibians breeding earlier (or not), anaphylactic reactions to bee stings, ancient forests dramatically changed, animals head for the hills, animals shrink, Antarctic grass flourishes, Antarctic ice grows, Antarctic ice shrinks, Antarctic sea life at risk, anxiety treatment, algal blooms, archaeological sites threatened, Arctic bogs melt, Arctic in bloom, Arctic ice free, Arctic ice melt faster, Arctic lakes disappear, Arctic tundra lost, Arctic warming (not), a rose by any other name smells of nothing, asteroid strike risk, asthma, Atlantic less salty, Atlantic more salty, atmospheric circulation modified, attack of the killer jellyfish, avalanches reduced, avalanches increased, Baghdad snow, Bahrain under water, bananas grow, barbarisation, bats decline, beer and bread prices to soar, beer better, beer worse, ....
 
2010-06-11 02:42:58 PM
ShadowkahnCRX: I can't RTFA because it's blocked at work, but actually global warming is theorized to be the *cause* of ice ages. As temperature increases water evaporates, which covers the planet in cloud, preventing solar heating, and that is what triggers the ice age.

Great. Way to ruin the article Debbie Downer.
 
2010-06-11 02:43:15 PM
I tell you what it is. It's your quote un-quote pollution control. I heard on talk radio you don't even need 'em. It's just the latest nazi government plot. Open your eyes, man, they're trying to control Global Warming. Get it Global. That's U.N. Commissars code for telling us what the temperature is gonna be in our outdoors. Let it warm up I say. See what Butchros Butchros Ghali Ghali thinks of that. We'll grow oranges in Alaska.
 
2010-06-11 02:44:04 PM
lennavan: Next time you hear the planet is "only" heating up by a degree or two due to man contributed greenhouse gases so who cares remember this tidbit:

The difference between average global temperatures today and during those ice ages is only about 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit), and these swings happen slowly, over hundreds of thousands of years. Link (new window)


I call BS- the temperature of earth never changed before humans were here.

/Global warming is my religion, and Al Gore is my Pope.
 
2010-06-11 02:44:17 PM
I've been supporting global warming for years. I guess I'm just **closes eyes** a little more advanced than others...
 
2010-06-11 02:45:04 PM
BadAnalogyGuy: I don't know about where you live, but this year has been unseasonably cool. Spring has pushed deep into June.

Here in Wisconsin they're saying we're four to six weeks ahead of schedule, and the spring has been extraordinarily wet.
 
2010-06-11 02:45:22 PM
Kazan: dead_dangler: To be fair, I haven't actually seen a real downside to global warming.

flooded coastal cities, lowered global agricultural output, more severe storms (summer and winter varieties), etc

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_global_warming


I meant a downside for *me*.
 
2010-06-11 02:45:22 PM
jigger: Kazan: dead_dangler: To be fair, I haven't actually seen a real downside to global warming.

flooded coastal cities, lowered global agricultural output, more severe storms (summer and winter varieties), etc

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_global_warming

So we should wish for global cooling so that we'd have more coastline, increased global agricultural output, and wimpy storms?

Yeah colder means you grow more food, right?


Stop it right there, the problem is that from what I've read a moderate amount of global warming is beneficial to the planet on average...see were on the same side here and I'm afraid your going to argue my side so poorly people will think anyone on my side is mildly retarded
 
2010-06-11 02:46:59 PM
jigger: tothekor: Climate change. Climate Change! CLIMATE CHANGE!!! Hello? Am I talking to a wall here?

Yes, but climate change is a result of global warming.


Or cooling. Or, well, anything really. We're still grasping at straws, thanks to tainted evidence, evidence that doesn't make sense, and evidence that either fails to show up or causes a spike in a carefully conceived theory/hypothesis.

Then it's back to the drawing boards. As it stands right now - we're completely certain that something is happening and that something may be bad.
 
2010-06-11 02:47:36 PM
Defiance_: Abominable snowmen and ice weasels? Both extinct.

Gee, thanks hairspray.


Ice weasels aren't extinct. It's just that they only come out at night.
 
2010-06-11 02:47:57 PM
Jedekai: jigger: tothekor: Climate change. Climate Change! CLIMATE CHANGE!!! Hello? Am I talking to a wall here?

Yes, but climate change is a result of global warming.

Or cooling. Or, well, anything really. We're still grasping at straws, thanks to tainted evidence, evidence that doesn't make sense, and evidence that either fails to show up or causes a spike in a carefully conceived theory/hypothesis.

Then it's back to the drawing boards. As it stands right now - we're completely certain that something is happening and that something may be bad.


Or good.
 
2010-06-11 02:51:23 PM
Global warming means more bikinis and if you're against that then you're un-American.
 
2010-06-11 02:52:02 PM
Jedekai:
Or cooling. Or, well, anything really. We're still grasping at straws, thanks to tainted evidence, evidence that doesn't make sense, and evidence that either fails to show up or causes a spike in a carefully conceived theory/hypothesis evidence I'm simply incapable of understanding.

\FIFY
 
2010-06-11 02:53:12 PM
ShadowkahnCRX:

As temperature increases water evaporates, which covers the planet in cloud, preventing solar heating, and that is what triggers the ice age.

There isn't any known threshold response in clouds beyond which increasing temperatures actually causes cooling. Even if cloud feedbacks are negative, that only means that warming leads to reduced warming from increased clouds, not to cooling.

The usual proposed mechanism for triggering ice ages is a shift in the Earth's orbital configuration putting less sunlight in the northern high latitudes, allowing more ice to survive the summer into the next winter, leading to accumulating continental ice sheets. The reflectivity of this added ice accelerates the process.
 
2010-06-11 02:55:35 PM
CowFu:

Stop it right there, the problem is that from what I've read a moderate amount of global warming is beneficial to the planet on average...

A moderate amount of warming may be beneficial to the citizens of developed nations at mid-latitudes. Developing natios in the tropics, not so much. More than moderate warming (above about 2 C) is probably bad for most countries, particularly if it's rapid (within a century or so).
 
2010-06-11 02:55:53 PM
jigger: So we should wish for global cooling so that we'd have more coastline, increased global agricultural output, and wimpy storms?

Yeah colder means you grow more food, right?


*rolleyes*

go educate thyself, troll!

CowFu: Stop it right there, the problem is that from what I've read a moderate amount of global warming is beneficial to the planet on average...see were on the same side here and I'm afraid your going to argue my side so poorly people will think anyone on my side is mildly retarded

we've hit that break even point already, and are in the process of passing it.

Jedekai

talk out your ass more, would ya?
 
2010-06-11 02:56:03 PM
dead_dangler: Kazan: dead_dangler: To be fair, I haven't actually seen a real downside to global warming.

flooded coastal cities, lowered global agricultural output, more severe storms (summer and winter varieties), etc

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_global_warming

I meant a downside for *me*.


Niiiiiiice.
 
2010-06-11 02:57:31 PM
Ambitwistor: There isn't any known threshold response in clouds beyond which increasing temperatures actually causes cooling. Even if cloud feedbacks are negative, that only means that warming leads to reduced warming from increased clouds, not to cooling.

The usual proposed mechanism for triggering ice ages is a shift in the Earth's orbital configuration putting less sunlight in the northern high latitudes, allowing more ice to survive the summer into the next winter, leading to accumulating continental ice sheets. The reflectivity of this added ice accelerates the process.


and dust accumulation on top of the ice helps shift the balance back.

don't you love it when try to argue with those of us with educations :D
 
2010-06-11 02:58:53 PM
BadAnalogyGuy: I don't know about where you live, but this year has been unseasonably cool. Spring has pushed deep into June.

I have no doubt that there are going to be weather pattern anomalies caused by the changing climate, but it's been pretty nice so far. One of the coolest on record.

Maybe we'll get some glacier growback this year.


Not likely. Your local weather doesn't change the fact that to date 2010 is the warmest year on record, globally. (new window)

Better still, arctic ice volume just dropped to the lowest ever recorded, with three months of melting still to come:

i47.tinypic.com

Source (new window)
 
2010-06-11 02:59:22 PM
Kazan: jigger: So we should wish for global cooling so that we'd have more coastline, increased global agricultural output, and wimpy storms?

Yeah colder means you grow more food, right?

*rolleyes*

go educate thyself, troll!


Then explain how crop yields increase in a colder climate.
 
2010-06-11 02:59:36 PM
wmoonfox: How much does Cracked pay for its daily plugs?

THIS! oh sweet baby jeebus THIS!
 
2010-06-11 03:00:05 PM
Kazan:

Are you attempting to disagree with me, or are you just adding to my post? I have no idea what that last sentence was supposed to mean.
 
2010-06-11 03:00:34 PM
jigger: Kazan: jigger: So we should wish for global cooling so that we'd have more coastline, increased global agricultural output, and wimpy storms?

Yeah colder means you grow more food, right?

*rolleyes*

go educate thyself, troll!

Then explain how crop yields increase in a colder climate.


What about staying the same? Would that work for you? Plain old current weather?
 
2010-06-11 03:01:16 PM
RoyBatty: Complete (with links) list of things global warming has been blamed for: http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/warmlist.htm

A complete list of things caused by global warming

Acne, agricultural land increase, Afghan poppies destroyed, African holocaust, aged deaths, poppies more potent, Africa devastated, Africa in conflict, African aid threatened, African summer frost, aggressive weeds, Air France crash, air pressure changes, airport farewells virtual, airport malaria, Agulhas current, Alaskan towns slowly destroyed, Al Qaeda and Taliban Being Helped, allergy increase, allergy season longer, alligators in the Thames, Alps melting, Amazon a desert, American dream end, amphibians breeding earlier (or not), anaphylactic reactions to bee stings, ancient forests dramatically changed, animals head for the hills, animals shrink, Antarctic grass flourishes, Antarctic ice grows, Antarctic ice shrinks, Antarctic sea life at risk, anxiety treatment, algal blooms, archaeological sites threatened, Arctic bogs melt, Arctic in bloom, Arctic ice free, Arctic ice melt faster, Arctic lakes disappear, Arctic tundra lost, Arctic warming (not), a rose by any other name smells of nothing, asteroid strike risk, asthma, Atlantic less salty, Atlantic more salty, atmospheric circulation modified, attack of the killer jellyfish, avalanches reduced, avalanches increased, Baghdad snow, Bahrain under water, bananas grow, barbarisation, bats decline, beer and bread prices to soar, beer better, beer worse, ....


You left out anal leakage...
 
2010-06-11 03:05:56 PM
#5. Warmer Winters Means Fewer Deaths

They should have mentioned the dangers of warmer summers.
 
2010-06-11 03:07:53 PM
baldwall.files.wordpress.com

Water front property in Arizona. My idea. Stay away.
 
2010-06-11 03:08:33 PM
Dubai Vol:
Not likely. Your local weather doesn't change the fact that to date 2010 is the warmest year on record, globally. (new window)

Better still, arctic ice volume just dropped to the lowest ever recorded, with three months of melting still to come:

Source (new window)


Does that mean that localized glacier regrowth is impossible?
 
2010-06-11 03:08:36 PM
Ambitwistor: Kazan:

Are you attempting to disagree with me, or are you just adding to my post? I have no idea what that last sentence was supposed to mean.


adding to your post

Shrinkwrap: jigger: Kazan: jigger: So we should wish for global cooling so that we'd have more coastline, increased global agricultural output, and wimpy storms?

Yeah colder means you grow more food, right?

*rolleyes*

go educate thyself, troll!

Then explain how crop yields increase in a colder climate.

What about staying the same? Would that work for you? Plain old current weather?


bingo


we were in a range of temperatures that was very good for our purposes - not too hot, not too cold. we don't want to force it out of that band.
 
2010-06-11 03:08:41 PM
wmoonfox: How much does Cracked pay for its daily plugs?

Well, let's say they pay 10 cents everytime one of you motherfarkers biatches about stories from Cracked......nevermind, that's math I can't even do. Drew must be mega-rich!
 
2010-06-11 03:09:38 PM
BadAnalogyGuy: Dubai Vol:
Not likely. Your local weather doesn't change the fact that to date 2010 is the warmest year on record, globally. (new window)

Better still, arctic ice volume just dropped to the lowest ever recorded, with three months of melting still to come:

Source (new window)

Does that mean that localized glacier regrowth is impossible?


a glaciers mass balance depends on its melting rate and the snowfall rate, in some areas you can get growing glaciers with rising temperature - if you get an even larger rise in snowfall

it would be uncommon, but entirely probably to happen somewhere given the diverse geography of the planet.
 
2010-06-11 03:09:41 PM
Shrinkwrap: jigger: Kazan: jigger: So we should wish for global cooling so that we'd have more coastline, increased global agricultural output, and wimpy storms?

Yeah colder means you grow more food, right?

*rolleyes*

go educate thyself, troll!

Then explain how crop yields increase in a colder climate.

What about staying the same? Would that work for you? Plain old current weather?


1. That's impossible. The weather/climate cannot stay the same forever.

2. Crop yields increase when the climate warms slightly.
 
2010-06-11 03:11:53 PM
Kazan:

Ok. Anyway, glacial-interglacial dust feedbacks are kind of complicated. Dust can melt ice but also reflect sunlight, or alter the sunlight reflected by clouds; also, it can fertilize the ocean and cause more CO2 drawdown. Its net effect is unclear, but I think it is thought to deepen ice ages when they come, and hasten their retreat when the go (positive feedback).
 
2010-06-11 03:13:16 PM
BadAnalogyGuy:

Does that mean that localized glacier regrowth is impossible?

Localized glacier regrowth is possible, but increasingly uncommon.
 
2010-06-11 03:13:28 PM
Dubai Vol: Not likely. Your local weather doesn't change the fact that to date 2010 is the warmest year on record, globally. (new window)

Better still, arctic ice volume just dropped to the lowest ever recorded, with three months of melting still to come:



Source (new window)


We'll have to see if the trend continues.
 
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