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Flotilla paintball attacks, an idea so crazy that even Hamas and Hezbollah think it's nuts, and Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/30 - 6/5 
Posted by Drew at 2010-06-08 1:20:47 PM, edited 2010-06-08 2:26:01 PM (50 comments) | Permalink
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6818 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2010 at 2:00 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



So as we all know, last week Israel intercepted a flotilla carrying relief supplies to the Gaza strip. Hilarity ensued, in the form of a few additional developments that you may or may not have noticed. I did, because that's pretty much what I do -- read stuff all day.

- Israel says their commandos were sent in with assault rifles loaded with paintball rounds (and sidearms with live ammo). Uh, sure they were. Nothing sounds safer for commandos than arming them with paintball rounds, parachuting them onto boats in the middle of the night surrounded by 700+ people who don't want to be raided. Never mind the fact that none of the folks on the boat had paintball blasts on them.

- Israel also says they'll use more force next time. Okay, THIS I believe.

- Iran (crazy) has decided to up the ante by offering to send naval escorts for future "relief shipments". The best part about this tho is that both Hamas (crazy) and Hezbollah (crazy) have independently said that's the dumbest thing they've ever heard.

Thanks to Stratfor for most of the above info, check em out if you haven't already.

Also, unrelated but just as much fun is this piece in Salon arguing that a press corps that attends watergun fights and pool parties with high-ranking Obama Administration officials probably can't do as good a job of holding them accountable.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-05-30 to Sat 2010-06-05:

img1.fark.net  Al Gore concedes erection    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Man with .32 BAC charged with DUI, improper use of children as hood ornaments    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Serbian artist sets new record for the longest time spent sitting down and doing nothing, narrowly beating the previous time recorded by a member of the Teamsters    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Anti-Semitic: Flipping off a bus full of Hasidic Jews on the Garden State Parkway. Anti-gravity Semitic: Bus full of Hasidic Jews flipping off the Garden State Parkway    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gulf coast fishermen stage protest with boats, are promptly raided by Israeli commandos    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Parents not really happy that McDonald's offered free Cd with purchase of Shrek glasses    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Woman has son kill cow over beef with neighbor. US DA willing to cut choice deal in return for testimony and udder considerations    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Dogs could be used to detect prostate cancer, but first scientists have to do something about the cold nose    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Off-duty Chicago cop who was caught on video downing five shots before getting into his car and killing two people has all charges dropped, walks away scotch-free    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Dyslexic student wins poetry competition. Your god wants Keats    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  A Delta Airlines flight attendant was arrested when she checked in her 9mm Glock with her carry-on bag. There was no explanation for her carrying the gun, except for the fact that she was flying to Atlanta    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Ben Roethlisberger excited for new "chapter." Hopefully, he isn't currently reading Lolita    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Cavaliers GM resigns LeBron. Except without that last word in the sentence    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Tightness frustrates Fister    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Throat exercises can relieve sleep apnea, your boyfriend    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Don't worry kids, Digg is just being sent to a farm where he can run around and play with all his friends like MySpace, Friendster, and Geocities    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Scientists say that initial testing confirms that new spray successfully prevents premature ejacul--DAMMIT    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker had a quiet tenth anniversary, capped off with the obligatory roll in the hay    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Geordi Laforge attempts to reconfigure the power transfer tunnel while transferring magnetic plasma to warp field generators in vain attempt to outrun the IRS    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Fran Drescher says her ex-husband was gay. I also think it's safe to say he was also deaf    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  The worst politcal campaigns of 2010, or as you may know it: The Martha Coakley Award    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Nancy Pelosi says her public policy is guided by "The Word." No word on whether she means the F-word, the N-word or the L-word    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  After rejecting ship names such as "Trolling the World", "Stabbing for Gaza", and "The Pure and Wholesome Peace Bridage", the next activist ship will bear the name "Rachel Corrie"    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Joe Walsh applies for a restraining order against an elderly man who tried to kill him. Probably Don Henley    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  What Billy Corgan is calling the Smashing Pumpkins these days is set to play a string of "intimate club" dates. So, if you've ever wanted to become intimate with a pale, bald, Splice-like creature, now's your chance    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Canadian rock star Avril Lavigne has a perfume. It smells like donuts and Deryck Whibley before a shower    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  Canadian economy growing at best rate in 10 years, which would be more impressive if the entire economy weren't based on hockey ticket sales    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Radio Shack is up for auction, which is great news for anyone needing zip codes of people dumb enough to buy batteries at Radio Shack    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Stocks rebound on good news about home sales and the rumor that a trader found a twenty-dollar bill in the bathroom    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2010-06-08 01:26:47 PM
Oh Iran, you so crazy.
 
2010-06-08 01:36:15 PM
Thanks for the info, Drew. Interesting.

BTW that wasn't a Slate link, it's a Salon link.

/I'm glad yo see you turned your capslock off. :)
 
2010-06-08 01:47:34 PM
 
2010-06-08 02:03:39 PM
I still don't think the Gore/erection thing makes sense in the context of his divorce.

Also, you're going to get in trouble for implying that Israel was lying.
 
2010-06-08 02:04:55 PM
Paintball guns and sandwiches. I don't like the way the media has turned this fun-filled outing into a crazy "piracy" or "raiding" incident.
 
2010-06-08 02:07:51 PM
B-b-b-but the paintball guns were a major talking point of our resident jewish fundamentalist! Have I been lied to?
 
2010-06-08 02:09:30 PM
Israel says their commandos were sent in with assault rifles loaded with paintball rounds (and sidearms with live ammo). Uh, sure they were. Nothing sounds safer for commandos than arming them with paintball rounds, parachuting them onto boats in the middle of the night surrounded by 700+ people who don't want to be raided. Never mind the fact that none of the folks on the boat had paintball blasts on them.

Watch your step, Drew, lest you become the Helen Thomas of "not news".
 
2010-06-08 02:09:42 PM
Those paintball guns are dangerous, could have someones eye out.
 
2010-06-08 02:11:26 PM
Wendy's Chili: Israel says their commandos were sent in with assault rifles loaded with paintball rounds (and sidearms with live ammo). Uh, sure they were. Nothing sounds safer for commandos than arming them with paintball rounds, parachuting them onto boats in the middle of the night surrounded by 700+ people who don't want to be raided. Never mind the fact that none of the folks on the boat had paintball blasts on them.

Watch your step, Drew, lest you become the Helen Thomas of "not news".


We're going to get all those Tatsuma posts in here now, hooray...
 
2010-06-08 02:11:56 PM
Drew, any tweaks coming down the pike for the photoshop contests? I've heard a couple of OK suggestions.
 
2010-06-08 02:12:30 PM
You dare criticise the joos?!


Anti-Semite!
 
2010-06-08 02:20:58 PM
ha-ha-guy: Wendy's Chili: Israel says their commandos were sent in with assault rifles loaded with paintball rounds (and sidearms with live ammo). Uh, sure they were. Nothing sounds safer for commandos than arming them with paintball rounds, parachuting them onto boats in the middle of the night surrounded by 700+ people who don't want to be raided. Never mind the fact that none of the folks on the boat had paintball blasts on them.

Watch your step, Drew, lest you become the Helen Thomas of "not news".

We're going to get all those Tatsuma posts in here now, hooray...


AMERICAN WAR CRIMES!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE HOLOCAUST?!

I'M NOT REALLY JEWISH, BUT FIGHTING FOR ISRAEL ON THE INTERNET IS A FUN HOBBY THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE ME TO GET OFF MY FAT, UMEMPLOYED ASS.

HAVE I MENTIONED HOLOCAUST?!

REMEMBER NEDA!
 
2010-06-08 02:21:27 PM
Pepperball guns, more likely.
 
2010-06-08 02:27:28 PM
cristo_delenda_est: Pepperball guns, more likely.

Have you tried the new deep-fried Pepperballs from TGI Friday's? Delicious!
 
2010-06-08 02:31:30 PM
Rev. Skarekroe: cristo_delenda_est: Pepperball guns, more likely.

Have you tried the new deep-fried Pepperballs from TGI Friday's? Delicious!


They are hundreds of times better than their old deep-fried Paintballs... Those things were awful.
 
2010-06-08 02:32:12 PM
so they went to a party at the VP mansion

other than break ties in the senate the VP only has one other task -- Party!
 
2010-06-08 02:33:27 PM
who faithfully regurgitates every administration fear-mongering claim regarding the Iranian nuclear program

FTF salon article

where were you in 2003 jackass
 
F42
2010-06-08 02:34:07 PM
crab66: You dare criticise the joos?!


Anti-Semite!


Indeed. Drew, either retract your statements and say that anything Israel does is good and smells good, or else you're antisemitic and you probably have a swastika tattooed on your ballsack, you nazi, you.
 
2010-06-08 02:35:52 PM
F42: crab66: You dare criticise the joos?!


Anti-Semite!

Indeed. Drew, either retract your statements and say that anything Israel does is good and smells good, or else you're antisemitic and you probably have a swastika tattooed on your ballsack, you nazi, you.


It's actually a plus sign, but you know how things get when shriveled.
 
F42
2010-06-08 02:36:23 PM
Msol: Oh Iran, you so crazy.

Iran is like the Napoleon Dynamite of the international community: Always talking about hunting wolverines with shotguns and learning bo-staff moves.
 
F42
2010-06-08 02:40:09 PM
Wendy's Chili: REMEMBER NEDA!

When shooting protesters, don't aim for pretty girls if you can't also shoot everyone with a camera nearby.
 
2010-06-08 02:45:49 PM
It's pretty clear the commandos were using invisible paint, because they didn't want to ruin anyone's clothes. They're very polite.
 
2010-06-08 02:46:53 PM
Iran (crazy) has decided to up the ante by offering to send naval escorts for future "relief shipments". The best part about this tho is that both Hamas (crazy) and Hezbollah (crazy) have independently said that's the dumbest thing they've ever heard.

It sounds like the next logical step in their plans to instigate a war with Israel, while attempting to keep world opinion on their side. Anyone with even a shred of intelligence can see through it, but alas as fark has proven time and time again, most people have none.
 
2010-06-08 02:47:04 PM
I see now. They were supposed to use unicorn farts instead of tear gas, though. My guess is the kids aren't signing the armament hard enough.
 
2010-06-08 03:09:43 PM
I really hope Iran brings their "navy" along side their aid ships. They have no idea who they are farking with.
 
2010-06-08 03:10:37 PM
Wow, Drew, for a person that reads stuff all day for his job, not quite sure how you missed the many other clarifying descriptions of the 'paintball' guns being as the A5 guns loaded with pepper-balls.

Now where would you use something like this? Ah-ha! You would use these at demonstrations and such where political activists may get a little uppity but lethal force is usually not required. You know, the type of people the flotilla was supposed to contain, sans the trained terrorists ready to meet their 72 virgins of course...
 
2010-06-08 03:14:25 PM
wolfpaq777: to instigate a war

Yeah it's not like Israel does any instigating. And I wasn't aware that the world opinion of Iran was so easily influenced. Here's a tip. Seeing through Israeli bullshiat does not mean people like Iran. Only in the crazy religious world is it an all or nothing game. Sticking your head up your ass when it comes to Israel doing no wrong does not mean you have a shred of intelligence. Quite the opposite.
 
2010-06-08 03:18:12 PM
HotWingConspiracy: It's pretty clear the commandos were using invisible paint, because they didn't want to ruin anyone's clothes. They're very polite.

STFU Hotwing, you are not qualified to discuss this.
 
2010-06-08 03:26:36 PM
crab66: wolfpaq777: to instigate a war

Yeah it's not like Israel does any instigating. And I wasn't aware that the world opinion of Iran was so easily influenced. Here's a tip. Seeing through Israeli bullshiat does not mean people like Iran. Only in the crazy religious world is it an all or nothing game. Sticking your head up your ass when it comes to Israel doing no wrong does not mean you have a shred of intelligence. Quite the opposite.


Oh shiat you said that I'm sticking my head up my ass. Now I can know without even reading anything else you said that I've already won the argument =/ Conceding so soon is a bit disappointing, but I'll take the win.
 
2010-06-08 03:29:38 PM
Wendy's Chili

Israel says their commandos were sent in with assault rifles loaded with paintball rounds (and sidearms with live ammo). Uh, sure they were. Nothing sounds safer for commandos than arming them with paintball rounds, parachuting them onto boats in the middle of the night surrounded by 700+ people who don't want to be raided. Never mind the fact that none of the folks on the boat had paintball blasts on them.

Watch your step, Drew, lest you become the Helen Thomas of "not news".


Right, because saying that Israel should be ethnically cleansed of all Jews is perfectly fine and dandy - http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2010/06/gibbs-helen-thomas-remarks-off.html ? wprss=44. Note that she also said that the Jews should "go back to Poland and Germany" - nevermind that the vast majority of Israeli Jews are native born, nor that the main ancestry of Israeli Jews are from Jews that were ethnically cleansed from Arab/Muslim lands - http://jimena.org/.

Plus the old c*nt was already 90 years old, so it's not likely she wasn't long past usually retirement age anyway.

But once again, any kind of vicious hate filled diatribe against JOOOZ^H^H^H^H^HIZAILIS is fine, and if you object you're some powerful Zionist overlord.

As far as the original statement about how they boarded, if they had come in guns blazing none of the Israeli would have been hurt. The reality that they were overwhelmed and beaten with pipes etc indicates that they were restrained, too much so.

mmmmmmmDROP!

Wow, Drew, for a person that reads stuff all day for his job, not quite sure how you missed the many other clarifying descriptions of the 'paintball' guns being as the A5 guns loaded with pepper-balls.

THIS.
 
2010-06-08 03:31:33 PM
I just came in here because I wanted to read the Keats headline again.

/Leaving happy.
 
2010-06-08 03:36:36 PM
grotto_man

...nevermind that...the main ancestry of Israeli Jews are from Jews that were ethnically cleansed from Arab/Muslim lands...

Pretty sure the largest Israeli ancestry is Ashkenazim.
 
2010-06-08 03:42:53 PM
Facetious_Speciest

grotto_man

...nevermind that...the main ancestry of Israeli Jews are from Jews that were ethnically cleansed from Arab/Muslim lands...

Pretty sure the largest Israeli ancestry is Ashkenazim.


Sephardim are a little more than half - http://www.jewfaq.org/ashkseph.htm.
 
2010-06-08 03:49:27 PM
wolfpaq777: Oh shiat you said that I'm sticking my head up my ass. Now I can know without even reading anything else you said that I've already won the argument =/ Conceding so soon is a bit disappointing, but I'll take the win.

You didn't read what I said and have no counterargument. I'm pretty sure that means I won. But please continue to explore your own colon while you talk with yourself.

riverdaughter.files.wordpress.com

Maybe one day Israel will grow up and you can follow their example.
 
2010-06-08 03:59:28 PM
grotto_man: Wendy's Chili

Israel says their commandos were sent in with assault rifles loaded with paintball rounds (and sidearms with live ammo). Uh, sure they were. Nothing sounds safer for commandos than arming them with paintball rounds, parachuting them onto boats in the middle of the night surrounded by 700+ people who don't want to be raided. Never mind the fact that none of the folks on the boat had paintball blasts on them.

Watch your step, Drew, lest you become the Helen Thomas of "not news".

Right, because saying that Israel should be ethnically cleansed of all Jews is perfectly fine and dandy - http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2010/06/gibbs-helen-thomas-remarks-off.html ? wprss=44. Note that she also said that the Jews should "go back to Poland and Germany" - nevermind that the vast majority of Israeli Jews are native born, nor that the main ancestry of Israeli Jews are from Jews that were ethnically cleansed from Arab/Muslim lands - http://jimena.org/.

Plus the old c*nt was already 90 years old, so it's not likely she wasn't long past usually retirement age anyway.

But once again, any kind of vicious hate filled diatribe against JOOOZ^H^H^H^H^HIZAILIS is fine, and if you object you're some powerful Zionist overlord.

As far as the original statement about how they boarded, if they had come in guns blazing none of the Israeli would have been hurt. The reality that they were overwhelmed and beaten with pipes etc indicates that they were restrained, too much so.

mmmmmmmDROP!

Wow, Drew, for a person that reads stuff all day for his job, not quite sure how you missed the many other clarifying descriptions of the 'paintball' guns being as the A5 guns loaded with pepper-balls.

THIS.


Funny that you rail against "vicious hate filled diatribes" by referring to a 90-year-old woman as a "c*nt" and calling the execution of nine people "too much restraint".
 
2010-06-08 04:00:29 PM
grotto_man

Sephardim are a little more than half - http://www.jewfaq.org/ashkseph.htm.

Well, to get back to your point of "the main ancestry of Israeli Jews are from Jews that were ethnically cleansed from Arab/Muslim lands," Sephardim =/= non-European.

Secondly, "JewFaq" is one dude's website. Even Wikipedia is better. I would imagine JewFaqMan should get on correcting them for suggesting "About 35% of all Israeli Jews are recently (first or second generation) descended from European Jews, while 25% are descended from Jews who immigrated from Arab countries, Iran, Turkey and Central Asia."

I'm almost sure that between the entire fifth of the population born in Europe or the States, and the third of the population that's descended from European Jews, most Israelis are of European descent, if by but a hair.
 
2010-06-08 04:05:44 PM
Facetious_Speciest: grotto_man

Sephardim are a little more than half - http://www.jewfaq.org/ashkseph.htm.

Well, to get back to your point of "the main ancestry of Israeli Jews are from Jews that were ethnically cleansed from Arab/Muslim lands," Sephardim =/= non-European.

Secondly, "JewFaq" is one dude's website. Even Wikipedia is better. I would imagine JewFaqMan should get on correcting them for suggesting "About 35% of all Israeli Jews are recently (first or second generation) descended from European Jews, while 25% are descended from Jews who immigrated from Arab countries, Iran, Turkey and Central Asia."

I'm almost sure that between the entire fifth of the population born in Europe or the States, and the third of the population that's descended from European Jews, most Israelis are of European descent, if by but a hair.


But bulldozing Palestinian homes is your divine right, as long as you go to the right church, even if you're from Philadelphia. To suggest otherwise is vicious and hate filled.
 
2010-06-08 04:08:54 PM
But bulldozing Palestinian homes is your divine right, as long as you go to the right church shul, even if you're from Philadelphia. To suggest otherwise is vicious and hate filled.

FTFIsrael.
 
2010-06-08 04:14:10 PM
ptelg: HotWingConspiracy: It's pretty clear the commandos were using invisible paint, because they didn't want to ruin anyone's clothes. They're very polite.

STFU Hotwing, you are not qualified to discuss this.


You're right, I simply cannot hang with all of the newly minted experts in maritime law and mid-east policy. As soon as I master cut & paste I'll have my credentials.
 
2010-06-08 04:17:33 PM
Wendy's Chili: calling the execution of nine people "too much restraint

Don't want to die? Don't bring pipes and knives to a gun fight.
 
2010-06-08 06:13:36 PM
HotWingConspiracy: ptelg: HotWingConspiracy: It's pretty clear the commandos were using invisible paint, because they didn't want to ruin anyone's clothes. They're very polite.

STFU Hotwing, you are not qualified to discuss this.

You're right, I simply cannot hang with all of the newly minted experts in maritime law and mid-east policy. As soon as I master cut & paste I'll have my credentials.


Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V

Congrats!
 
2010-06-08 09:07:08 PM
lol, Did Drew just troll Fark with the no paint found comment? Awesome!
 
2010-06-08 10:23:19 PM
Mizrahi is not identical to Sephardi, but just over half of the Jews in Israel descend from Israel or Muslim countries.
 
2010-06-08 10:30:33 PM
Riffington: Mizrahi is not identical to Sephardi, but just over half of the Jews in Israel descend from Israel or Muslim countries.

Which ones are the pain-in-the-ass loud and pushy ones?
 
2010-06-09 01:54:54 AM
As I said before in other threads, if Israel knows there's a "relief" convoy heading to Gaza with dozens of terrorists, why shouldn't they have the right to board? It was an obvious media ploy by the terrorists, given that Israel had offered to inspect the supplies and transport them to Gaza themselves (and did so after the incident).
 
2010-06-09 02:20:12 AM
If I had the video and the skillz I would paste together scenes of the VP and Rahm playing squirties on the lawn against footage of the oil pouring out of the BP BOP.

Set that against some of Neros finest fiddle music and I think you have a pretty catchy campaign ad for 2012.
 
2010-06-09 03:22:58 AM
Wendy's Chili

But bulldozing Palestinian homes is your divine right, as long as you go to the right church, even if you're from Philadelphia. To suggest otherwise is vicious and hate filled.

Nevermind that the few times it's been, it's been in response to the people who murdered Israelis in bombings, but hey, who cares about Israeli lives?

Or are you referring to buildings constructed without permits, which could knocked down anywhere in the world (and the Israeli government has also knocked down unauthorized Israeli buildings too).

Funny that you rail against "vicious hate filled diatribes" by referring to a 90-year-old woman as a "c*nt" and calling the execution of nine people "too much restraint".

It wasn't execution, it was self-defense. Or is trying to beat Israelis to death one of those rights that those nasty Israelis are trying to stop?

Secondly, that particular person called for millions of Jews, and only Jews, to be kicked out of their own country. If that sort of vicious antisemitism doesn't deserve an obscenity, nothing does.

And once again you completely ignored the nature of what she said in your feeble attempt to depict Helen Thomas as a victim of the EVVVILLL JOOOZ.
 
2010-06-09 10:49:23 AM
I paintball alot. I own several fully automatic tactical milsim paintball markers and for personal security in my home I have "reball rounds" which are basically rubber balls which when fired out of a tactial marker at 450fps are suddenly very inexpensive very effective rubber bullets.

Im 6'5" 230lb and Ive been hit by a reball travelling @ 450fps only once and it took the wind out of me.

I can easily believe that the israelies might have tweaked a couple of tactical markers up to fire reballs @ 500fps+.

Incedentally, any elderly or sickly protesters could have easily been killed by a 500 fps reball shot to the head.
 
2010-06-09 10:58:40 AM
TommyAtomic: Incedentally, any elderly or sickly protesters could have easily been killed by a 500 fps reball shot to the head.

Yes, they might have, but we'll never know now, as they sort of went straight for that whole shooting them in the face multiple times with real ammo to 'make a point'. Both during the raid and in executing the prisoners afterward.

However, I'm pretty sure if I point out that civilized and non-insane cultures tend to look at doing things like that as sort of a bad thing, I must be an anti-semite, right?
 
2010-06-09 01:43:30 PM
CliChe Guevara: TommyAtomic: Incedentally, any elderly or sickly protesters could have easily been killed by a 500 fps reball shot to the head.

Yes, they might have, but we'll never know now, as they sort of went straight for that whole shooting them in the face multiple times with real ammo to 'make a point'. Both during the raid and in executing the prisoners afterward.

However, I'm pretty sure if I point out that civilized and non-insane cultures tend to look at doing things like that as sort of a bad thing, I must be an anti-semite, right?


Funny, since most communist dictatorships would start with a torpedo and finish with deck mounted machine guns.

You are right, those evil Israelis were really planning on killing everyone brutally when they boarded the boat carrying weapons whose accepted use is non lethal crowd control. They must just be stupid right? Because if they were smart evil people they would have gone the torpedo and machine gun route.

-North Korea: Torpedo, no bullets for Machine gun, but Kim Jong will kill you with his perfect golf tee shot later.

-Iran: cigarette boat filled with troops, imprisonment, trial, execution. Oh and rape, lots of man rape. They love the man rape.

-Russia: you shot your self then jumped overboard while they were not looking.

-Venezuela: No one tried, but Hugo told us the capitalists sent a battleship then he beat the crew to death with his penis which is so long he didnt even have to leave home, then he chewed the armor plating into toys for little kids.

-Cuba: brainless corpses found on boat. Zombie Castro pleased.
 
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