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Flotilla paintball attacks, an idea so crazy that even Hamas and Hezbollah think it's nuts, and Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/30 - 6/5
Posted by Drew at 2010-06-08 1:20:47 PM, edited 2010-06-08 2:26:01 PM (50 comments) | Permalink
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6816 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2010 at 2:00 PM (3 years ago) | | share: more»
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So as we all know, last week Israel intercepted a flotilla carrying relief supplies to the Gaza strip. Hilarity ensued, in the form of a few additional developments that you may or may not have noticed. I did, because that's pretty much what I do -- read stuff all day.
- Israel says their commandos were sent in with assault rifles loaded with paintball rounds (and sidearms with live ammo). Uh, sure they were. Nothing sounds safer for commandos than arming them with paintball rounds, parachuting them onto boats in the middle of the night surrounded by 700+ people who don't want to be raided. Never mind the fact that none of the folks on the boat had paintball blasts on them.
- Israel also says they'll use more force next time. Okay, THIS I believe.
- Iran (crazy) has decided to up the ante by offering to send naval escorts for future "relief shipments". The best part about this tho is that both Hamas (crazy) and Hezbollah (crazy) have independently said that's the dumbest thing they've ever heard.
Thanks to Stratfor for most of the above info, check em out if you haven't already.
Also, unrelated but just as much fun is this piece in Salon arguing that a press corps that attends watergun fights and pool parties with high-ranking Obama Administration officials probably can't do as good a job of holding them accountable.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-05-30 to Sat 2010-06-05:
Al Gore concedes erection
Man with .32 BAC charged with DUI, improper use of children as hood ornaments
Serbian artist sets new record for the longest time spent sitting down and doing nothing, narrowly beating the previous time recorded by a member of the Teamsters
Anti-Semitic: Flipping off a bus full of Hasidic Jews on the Garden State Parkway. Anti-gravity Semitic: Bus full of Hasidic Jews flipping off the Garden State Parkway
Gulf coast fishermen stage protest with boats, are promptly raided by Israeli commandos
Parents not really happy that McDonald's offered free Cd with purchase of Shrek glasses
Woman has son kill cow over beef with neighbor. US DA willing to cut choice deal in return for testimony and udder considerations
Dogs could be used to detect prostate cancer, but first scientists have to do something about the cold nose
Off-duty Chicago cop who was caught on video downing five shots before getting into his car and killing two people has all charges dropped, walks away scotch-free
Dyslexic student wins poetry competition. Your god wants Keats
A Delta Airlines flight attendant was arrested when she checked in her 9mm Glock with her carry-on bag. There was no explanation for her carrying the gun, except for the fact that she was flying to Atlanta
Ben Roethlisberger excited for new "chapter." Hopefully, he isn't currently reading Lolita
Cavaliers GM resigns LeBron. Except without that last word in the sentence
Tightness frustrates Fister
Throat exercises can relieve sleep apnea, your boyfriend
Don't worry kids, Digg is just being sent to a farm where he can run around and play with all his friends like MySpace, Friendster, and Geocities
Scientists say that initial testing confirms that new spray successfully prevents premature ejacul--DAMMIT
Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker had a quiet tenth anniversary, capped off with the obligatory roll in the hay
Geordi Laforge attempts to reconfigure the power transfer tunnel while transferring magnetic plasma to warp field generators in vain attempt to outrun the IRS
Fran Drescher says her ex-husband was gay. I also think it's safe to say he was also deaf
The worst politcal campaigns of 2010, or as you may know it: The Martha Coakley Award
Nancy Pelosi says her public policy is guided by "The Word." No word on whether she means the F-word, the N-word or the L-word
After rejecting ship names such as "Trolling the World", "Stabbing for Gaza", and "The Pure and Wholesome Peace Bridage", the next activist ship will bear the name "Rachel Corrie"
Joe Walsh applies for a restraining order against an elderly man who tried to kill him. Probably Don Henley
What Billy Corgan is calling the Smashing Pumpkins these days is set to play a string of "intimate club" dates. So, if you've ever wanted to become intimate with a pale, bald, Splice-like creature, now's your chance
Canadian rock star Avril Lavigne has a perfume. It smells like donuts and Deryck Whibley before a shower
Canadian economy growing at best rate in 10 years, which would be more impressive if the entire economy weren't based on hockey ticket sales
Radio Shack is up for auction, which is great news for anyone needing zip codes of people dumb enough to buy batteries at Radio Shack
Stocks rebound on good news about home sales and the rumor that a trader found a twenty-dollar bill in the bathroom
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