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Gary Coleman four feet under, getting Down at the special ed dance, and the politically-correct term Palin-Americans: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 5/23 - 5/29
Posted by Drew at 2010-06-01 1:34:16 PM (28 comments) | Permalink
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8269 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2010 at 2:00 PM (4 years ago) | | share: more»
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No writeup this week, just some good headlines. Enjoy.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-05-23 to Sat 2010-05-29:
Special ed students heading to prom, ready to get Down
Truck carrying 17 million bees crashes. That's, like, 3.4 million quarters
Lindsay Lohan's ankle bracelet has Breathalyzer technology, proving yet again that Lohan frequently has her ankles near her face
Survey reveals that most of us believe people do not show caring and sympathy to those with mental illnesses. Well, jeez, we elected the poor bastards, isn't that enough?
Chicago woman was attacked and had acid thrown in her face. Witnesses shocked at such baseless violence
Former carny tries to turn his life around, but fails. Now he's a lawyer
Judge calls alcohol-fuelled violence "the plague of Britain," narrowly edging out "the Irish"
Gary Coleman is four feet under
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt split. Lawyers to settle who gets custody of their I.Q. point
73 killed in Jamaica; 365 jobs now available
Gay activists vow to start hunger strike, lesbians promise to only eat out
Albert Haynesworth being sued for ten million dollars by stripper he knocked up. DNA test deemed unnecessary because of the baby's habit of kicking and whining for a while and then taking the rest of the afternoon off
Wrigley Field went dark in the middle of a Cubs game this evening, instead of mid-September as usual
Roy Halladay does his best Deepwater Horizon impression by suffocating every Fish in his path
Titanium pentoxide will offer 200 times the data density of Blu-ray, says professor at Tokyo University's porn-storage laboratory
Study suggests gamers experience more pleasant dreams, such as having a girlfriend
Concorde may be revived as a 'vintage' plane. "A bold effort, possessing a sharp nose, rich body, and an earthy, fiery finish"
"Twilight sucks up National Movie Awards" says headline that is four words too long
Gary Coleman in critical condition after head injury. Symptoms include difficulty understanding speech
Woman accuses Gene Simmons of sexual assult, claims she has suffered humiliation, shame, embarrassment, anger, anxiety, loss of sleep, depression, and other normal signs of having contact with Gene Simmons
Rush Limbaugh, who drinks $4,000 bottles of wine and built his house to resemble Versailles, would like to remind you that liberal elitists are out of touch with the working man
Rand Paul fires his staff for making him have stupid opinions
Senate panel approves bill banning the word "retarded" from federal laws, opting for more politically correct "Palin-American"
Slipknot bassist found dead in Iowa hotel room. Preliminary cause of death reportedly listed as 'Shame'
Kylie Minogue is rumored to be replacing U2 as Glastonbury headliner. That's like having Audrey Hepburn fill in for Lindsay Lohan
Crystal Bowersox loses American Idol, then her boyfriend dumps her. Sounds like she's got the lyrics for her first country song
BP's managing director would like everyone to know that no one is "more devastated" by the spill than him. Not, you know, economically or anything. But feelings-wise
Consumer confidence highest in two years on news the survey is about two months behind reality
Stocks poised to rebound. This is not a repeat from last week, or the week before, or the week before, and will certainly not be followed soon with a "stocks plunge" article
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