I was hoping it was Lars Ulrich, then I RTFA.

You just have to love news articles with the word "holler" in them.

/And when a I say news...loosely.

Drunk, angry and hating everybody is no way to go through life, son.
Although, some of us manage.

danielscissorhands: I still don't get it.

Told twice. Two black eyes.

I prefer Latvian jokes:

Latvian: Is so cold.
All: How cold is?
Latvian: Very. Also dark.

Questioning: Why did chicken cross road?
Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

Three Latvian are brag about sons. "My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want," say first Latvian. "Zo?" second say, "My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!" Third Latvian wait long time, then say, "My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over." "Wow! You are win us," say others. But all are feel sad.

I AM a drummer! And I love all the drummer jokes. My band mates and I have a ton of 'em.

/Roland V-Pro
//TD-20

black_knight: I was hoping it was Lars Ulrich, then I RTFA.

Yeah, me too.

Tom Petty smirks at these shenanigans

/Now I'm freeeeeeeee...

At least it wasn't a bizarre gardening accident. I hear those can be deadly.

I'll say sorry, but I'm not taking off my glasses.

And then he spontaneously combusted?

Pvt Joker: I'll say sorry, but I'm not taking off my glasses.

Came for this.

some bands will do anything to sell a DVD.

the original drummer

adragontattoo: Have I just become that desensitized or something? The snopes links don't bother me in the least. Hell I am debating what to have for breakfast while I look at them.

Welcome to the internet, son. That's only the tip of the iceberg.

Now everyone knows about this band.

No one gets hipster points for this.

Stupid farking drummers, destroying the cred of a band.

*Bad-dum*

"... durrr... what's next?"

"uhh..."

*TISH*

"ROCK AND... uhh..."

*crickets*

Then he had that accident which didn't really improve things, but at least failed to make them worse.

/the drummer in my band also plays a pretty mean guitar, so we always tell him he's only half-retarded

Wait, he didn't die?

Damn.

adragontattoo: Have I just become that desensitized or something?

Apparently. If it helps, try to imagine what it might feel like to have your head ripped off by a fence.

Queensowntalia: adragontattoo: Have I just become that desensitized or something?

Apparently. If it helps, try to imagine what it might feel like to have your head ripped off by a fence.

I imagine it would be a quick and nearly painless way to die. Long before the shock can wear off, the lack of oxygen shuts down the brain.
Besides, I think part of the fence is imbedded in his brain. That would mean an instant death.

I have never understood the reason for all the drummer jokes.

/Married to a drummer

Police said he sat alone screaming that he 'hated everybody' before falling one storey onto a fence,...

But he survived surgery and was laughing and joking with his family from his intensive care bed, to the amazement of doctors.


So, a reverse Phineas Gage then.

FREDIOHEAD: That's no musician. That's Justin Bieber with Paris Hilton's sunglasses on.

Came to say this.
All is well now.

Ambitwistor: And then he spontaneously combusted?

Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

/ Oblig doesn't cover it

What do you call a guy who hangs out with a band?

The drummer.

/ waited a LONG time to use that here...

They should change their name to Spear Head.

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?


Gifted.

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: How can you tell there's a drummer at your door?

The knock keeps speeding up.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test?

LadyBelgara: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: How can you tell there's a drummer at your door?

The knock keeps speeding up.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test?

Drool?

Kniggit: LadyBelgara: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: How can you tell there's a drummer at your door?

The knock keeps speeding up.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test?

Drool?

nicely played!

Unique23b: Answer:Drummer
Envelope: What do you call a drunk who follows a band around?

Kniggit: What do you call a guy who hangs out with a band?

The drummer.

/ waited a LONG time to use that here...

About six hours too long, unfortuantely.

came for Spinal Tap, leaving happy!

danielscissorhands: What is up with his glasses? Is this what hipsters think is cool - Elton John glasses?

Hipsters suddenly started thinking that big ugly 80's glasses are cool.... seems to have happened within the last year.... its a horrible thing.

T.M.S.: I have never understood the reason for all the drummer jokes.

/Married to a drummer

I guess we could say He "Snared" you.

Correction "She"

I'm a drummer, and I'm getting a reply out of these kicks.

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?

It took him two hours to get the bass player out.

Lots of epic cymbalism in this thread.

What do you say to a drummer in a three piece suit?

Will the defendant please rise.