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(SlashFilm)   Financial problems might end up making The Hobbit a non-reality. Because if there's one movie that's sure to be risky and definitely not make billions of dollars, it's the farking Hobbit   ( slashfilm.com) divider line
    More: Fail, hobbits, The Hobbit, movie directors, start date, MGM  
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2561 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 May 2010 at 6:55 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-05-28 02:08:09 PM  
And isn't there sort of a clock on this? McKellan isn't getting any younger.
 
2010-05-28 02:12:19 PM  
I kicked the hobbit (kicked the hobbit)
I shed my skin (shed my skin)
This is the new stuff (this is the new stuff)
I go dancing in (we go dancing in)
Whooooooa
 
2010-05-28 02:15:56 PM  
If they had put this movie out two or three years after the last Rings movie, it would be a guaranteed hit. But people have short attention spans.
 
2010-05-28 02:19:16 PM  
there will be money for "2 weeks from next Friday" before there's money for the Hobbit.
 
2010-05-28 02:21:47 PM  
I'd say it might have something to do with costing a couple hundred mil to make too. Nice return, but that isn't pocket change.
 
2010-05-28 02:34:32 PM  

GAT_00: I'd say it might have something to do with costing a couple hundred mil to make too. Nice return, but that isn't pocket change.


Yeah but unless the first one sucks, they will make 750 million between the 2 movies.
 
2010-05-28 02:40:05 PM  
Oh, motherfark...
 
2010-05-28 02:43:12 PM  

Dinki: GAT_00: I'd say it might have something to do with costing a couple hundred mil to make too. Nice return, but that isn't pocket change.

Yeah but unless the first one sucks, they will make 750 million between the 2 movies.


Wait, two?
 
2010-05-28 02:58:53 PM  

GAT_00: Wait, two?


Yup (new window)
 
2010-05-28 03:42:56 PM  
I think they should take all the money they were going to throw at the Hobbit and make a movie called "Tom Bombadil and Lots of Singing". The rage would be epic.
 
2010-05-28 04:18:16 PM  

Cagey B: I think they should take all the money they were going to throw at the Hobbit and make a movie called "Tom Bombadil and Lots of Singing". The rage would be epic.


With Carrot Top as Tom Bombadil.
 
2010-05-28 05:00:06 PM  

St_Francis_P: With Carrot Top as Tom Bombadil.


Rounding out the cast:

Will Smith as Gandalf
Shia LaBeouf as Bilbo Baggins
Vern Troyer as Thorin
Nicholas Cage as Elrond
...and Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug
 
2010-05-28 05:30:33 PM  

Cagey B: "Tom Bombadil and Lots of Singing". The rage would be epic.


I couldn't even read Fellowship of the Ring past Tom Bombadil's introduction. I wasn't too into it to begin with, he sealed the deal and I just watched the movies.
 
2010-05-28 05:49:15 PM  
Does this mean they can't afford the rights for the official soundtrack?

Ballad of Bilbo (new window)
 
2010-05-28 06:57:55 PM  
Gary Coleman is dead, so why bother making a hobbit movie now?
 
2010-05-28 07:00:12 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: St_Francis_P: With Carrot Top as Tom Bombadil.

Rounding out the cast:

Will Smith as Gandalf
Shia LaBeouf as Bilbo Baggins
Vern Troyer as Thorin
Nicholas Cage as Elrond
...and Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug


I'd pay to see that.

As for the rest of your post,
wackyiraqi.com
 
2010-05-28 07:05:19 PM  
Damn. It would have been the best 3D experience, ever!

/Has to be 3D if the kids are gonna see it.
 
2010-05-28 07:07:46 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: ...and Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug

I'd pay to see that.


Really?

Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug is at least as uninspired, unoriginal and horrible as anything else on that list.
 
2010-05-28 07:08:40 PM  

St_Francis_P: Cagey B: I think they should take all the money they were going to throw at the Hobbit and make a movie called "Tom Bombadil and Lots of Singing". The rage would be epic.

With Carrot Top as Tom Bombadil.


Goddamn both of you. I seriously just busted a gut laughing and we had a client up front in the shop. Holy hell.
 
2010-05-28 07:08:43 PM  

SomeoneDumb: Damn. It would have been the best 3D experience, ever!

/Has to be 3D if the kids are gonna see it.


I'd agree that it should have been out sooner, but yeah, 3-D will make it easy money.
 
2010-05-28 07:10:29 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: Shia LaBeouf as Bilbo Baggins


Then I read this part, and I blacked out. When I came to, I was in a strange house holding a knife and covered in someone else's blood.
 
2010-05-28 07:12:08 PM  
Peter Jackson had this problem with the Lord of the Rings as well: studios get cold feet when presented with a huge expensive project like this.
 
2010-05-28 07:12:14 PM  
You want them to waste time on money on this? When there are so many ten year old films just crying out for remakes?!

IN 3D!
 
2010-05-28 07:15:51 PM  
FTFA: The other question has been 3D, as rumors have floated about the idea of the film(s) being shot in that format. GDT says the idea has been discussed "literally once" and that it isn't the current plan. So that's a glimmer of good news.

Thank farking God. I don't mind 3D for Pixar movies (they pull it off really well), or stupid gimmicky movies I avoid anyway, but the Hobbit is just not the kind of movie that needs 3D.

But seriously, both Hobbit movies would rake in enough cash for MGM to burn money to keep their money warm. Lord of the Rings raked in a literal fortune, and the Hobbit will make even more money because younger children can watch it as well. The animated Hobbit from before I was born is still an amazing movie that makes money, so a newer version with the kind of talent it has is not going to suffer.

/someone at MGM just hates short people
//and quite possibly dragons, elves, and wizards
 
2010-05-28 07:22:58 PM  

Gig103: I wasn't too into it to begin with, he sealed the deal and I just watched the movies.


If you enjoyed the movies, then I would encourage you to go back and read the trilogy.
 
2010-05-28 07:24:29 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: The All-Powerful Atheismo: ...and Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug

I'd pay to see that.

Really?

Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug is at least as uninspired, unoriginal and horrible as anything else on that list.


uninspired maybe, unoriginal maybe, but that ignores the fact that he could make a damn good smaug. If so, who gives a shiat if it's an unoriginal choice. They might have to edit his voice digitally to sound less "freeman"ly, but it could be really awesome.
 
2010-05-28 07:24:40 PM  
Heh, "Bilbo".
 
2010-05-28 07:28:22 PM  

Gig103: Cagey B: "Tom Bombadil and Lots of Singing". The rage would be epic.

I couldn't even read Fellowship of the Ring past Tom Bombadil's introduction. I wasn't too into it to begin with, he sealed the deal and I just watched the movies.


Do yourself a favor and try again, resuming after the Barrow Downs chapter. Here's what you have to know plotwise: The hobbits were big giant naive farkups1 but ended up alive and with magic Elvish short swords. It gets a lot better after that.

1: OK, they were little teeny tiny 3-and-a-half foot farkups. But still.
 
2010-05-28 07:44:28 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: Peter Jackson had this problem with the Lord of the Rings as well: studios get cold feet when presented with a huge expensive project like this.


Yeah but LOTR was a huge gamble, since nobody knew if they would be a hit or not. the Hobbit is the closest thing to a sure thing Hollywood has seen in a long time.
 
2010-05-28 07:47:37 PM  
If they can justify a 3rd Transformers, a 2nd Sex and the City, a 2nd Iron Man, a first Thor/Captain America/Deadpool, and any film featuring castaway superheroes such as Ant Man/Thor/Deadpool/Tron/Green Lantern/Hawkeye/Green Arrow as its primary hero is a complete and utter financial failure.
 
2010-05-28 08:00:00 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: tallguywithglasseson: The All-Powerful Atheismo: ...and Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug

I'd pay to see that.

Really?

Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug is at least as uninspired, unoriginal and horrible as anything else on that list.

uninspired maybe, unoriginal maybe, but that ignores the fact that he could make a damn good smaug. If so, who gives a shiat if it's an unoriginal choice. They might have to edit his voice digitally to sound less "freeman"ly, but it could be really awesome.


The first night's the toughest, no doubt about it. They march you in naked as the day you were born, without even a pocket handkerchief, and when they put you in that goblin cave... and you tumble into a crevasse as you scream for dwarves... that's when you know it's for real. A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it. And a riddle-contest.


I'd like to say that Bilbo fought the good fight, and the goblins left him alone. But Middle-Earth ain't no fairy tale world.

In TA1601 Bilbo escaped from the wood elves prison. All they found of him was a muddy cloak, a bar of soap, and and some smutty pictures of naked Beorn. I remember thinking it would take a man six hundred years to escape with all the dwarves. Old Bilbo managed it in less than a year. Oh, Bilbo loved maps. I imagine it appealed to his meticulous nature. A moon-letter here, a rune there. Geography is the study of people and places. That's all it takes really, people, and places. That, and a big goddamn magic ring. Like I said, in prison a man will do most anything to keep his mind occupied. Turns out Bilbo's favorite hobby was stealing elvish wine, a mouthful at a time. I guess after the Necromancer was defeated, Bilbo decided he'd been here just about long enough. Biblo did like he was told, trimmed his toe hairs. The guards simply didn't notice. Neither did I... I mean, seriously, how often do you really look at a hobbit's feet? Bilbo crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shiat smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to. Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.


I'd like to think the last thing that went through Smaug's heart, other than Black Arrow, was how Bilbo Baggins ever got the best of him
 
2010-05-28 08:07:53 PM  
Maybe they could contact George Lucas to help fund the movie - they could make him a producer...
 
2010-05-28 08:17:13 PM  
Fano:

The Shaw-Shire Redemption?
 
2010-05-28 08:18:51 PM  

Fano: The All-Powerful Atheismo: tallguywithglasseson: The All-Powerful Atheismo: ...and Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug

I'd pay to see that.

Really?

Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug is at least as uninspired, unoriginal and horrible as anything else on that list.

uninspired maybe, unoriginal maybe, but that ignores the fact that he could make a damn good smaug. If so, who gives a shiat if it's an unoriginal choice. They might have to edit his voice digitally to sound less "freeman"ly, but it could be really awesome.

The first night's the toughest, no doubt about it. They march you in naked as the day you were born, without even a pocket handkerchief, and when they put you in that goblin cave... and you tumble into a crevasse as you scream for dwarves... that's when you know it's for real. A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it. And a riddle-contest.


I'd like to say that Bilbo fought the good fight, and the goblins left him alone. But Middle-Earth ain't no fairy tale world.

In TA1601 Bilbo escaped from the wood elves prison. All they found of him was a muddy cloak, a bar of soap, and and some smutty pictures of naked Beorn. I remember thinking it would take a man six hundred years to escape with all the dwarves. Old Bilbo managed it in less than a year. Oh, Bilbo loved maps. I imagine it appealed to his meticulous nature. A moon-letter here, a rune there. Geography is the study of people and places. That's all it takes really, people, and places. That, and a big goddamn magic ring. Like I said, in prison a man will do most anything to keep his mind occupied. Turns out Bilbo's favorite hobby was stealing elvish wine, a mouthful at a time. I guess after the Necromancer was defeated, Bilbo decided he'd been here just about long enough. Biblo did like he was told, trimmed his toe hairs. The guards simply didn't notice. Neither did I... I mean, seriously, how often do you really look at a hobbit's feet? Bilbo crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shiat smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to. Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.


I'd like to think the last thing that went through Smaug's heart, other than Black Arrow, was how Bilbo Baggins ever got the best of him


you magnificent bastard!
 
2010-05-28 08:27:08 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Fano:

The Shaw-Shire Redemption?


Frodo: You know what the Elves say about the Sea of Helcar?
Sam: No.
Frodo: They say it has no memory. That's where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory.
 
2010-05-28 08:39:27 PM  
"Frito rolled his eyes heavenward. It was going to be a long epic."

BOTR
 
2010-05-28 08:42:48 PM  

dr.zaeus: BOTR


FTW
 
2010-05-28 08:53:30 PM  

mercator_psi: I kicked the hobbit (kicked the hobbit)
I shed my skin (shed my skin)
This is the new stuff (this is the new stuff)
I go dancing in (we go dancing in)
Whooooooa


I could smell the dragon smoke
As he lay there on the gold
I could see Smaug's wings flapping
But I brought that old ring back

I want to be
Thorin's war hammer
 
2010-05-28 08:54:28 PM  

Dinki: Yeah but LOTR was a huge gamble, since nobody knew if they would be a hit or not. the Hobbit is the closest thing to a sure thing Hollywood has seen in a long time.


From one perspective, that's true. From the other angle, by shooting the trilogy the way he did, the movies only ended up costing $33 million each, which is cheap for a Hollywood film these days.

And the movies didn't even actually cost that much; much of the budget went into setting up Weta Workshop, Weta Digital, the paint factory soundstage, etc.

Jackson's pitch was: give me $100 million and I'll give you three finished movies. Even if they bomb theatrically, you'll make a ton on video sales, as these books have a vast international fan-base. he offered this to Miramax (who controlled the rights at the time) and they got cold feet, put the project in turn-around and it ended up at New Line who have now made billions off of it.

The only risk was that some people in Hollywood still thought of Jackson as a low-budget filmmaker (even though he had several "Hollywood" films under his belt) and the fact that no one had ever shot anything that big in NZ.
 
2010-05-28 09:00:12 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: tallguywithglasseson: The All-Powerful Atheismo: ...and Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug

I'd pay to see that.

Really?

Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug is at least as uninspired, unoriginal and horrible as anything else on that list.

uninspired maybe, unoriginal maybe, but that ignores the fact that he could make a damn good smaug. If so, who gives a shiat if it's an unoriginal choice. They might have to edit his voice digitally to sound less "freeman"ly, but it could be really awesome.


I see your Morgan Freeman as Smaug and raise you Keith David as Smaug.

That alone would raise the gross by another $50M.
 
2010-05-28 09:02:12 PM  

tallguywithglasseson: St_Francis_P: With Carrot Top as Tom Bombadil.

Rounding out the cast:

Will Smith as Gandalf
Shia LaBeouf as Bilbo Baggins
Vern Troyer as Thorin
Nicholas Cage as Elrond
...and Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug


If you're going to get the rage going, you need to add Megan Fox as Goldberry and Olivia Munn as Beorn.
 
2010-05-28 09:16:22 PM  

Fano: I'd like to think the last thing that went through Smaug's heart, other than Black Arrow, was how Bilbo Baggins ever got the best of him


Goddamn. As if The Hobbit wasn't epic enough, that run owns.
 
2010-05-28 09:17:04 PM  
Lindsay Lohan as Gollum
 
2010-05-28 09:20:36 PM  
If memory serves, way back when, Lucas had trouble getting studio financing to make ESB and had to raise the money mostly on his own. Star Wars was the biggest grossing movie in history at the time and the studios had cold feet about funding a sequel.

Will never understand Hollywood bean-counters.
 
2010-05-28 09:29:30 PM  

Gig103: Cagey B: "Tom Bombadil and Lots of Singing". The rage would be epic.

I couldn't even read Fellowship of the Ring past Tom Bombadil's introduction. I wasn't too into it to begin with, he sealed the deal and I just watched the movies.


I just skip those chapters.
they were silly the first time around.

so glad they were completely cut from the movies.
 
2010-05-28 09:40:35 PM  

Sun Worshiping Dog Launcher: If you're going to get the rage going, you need to add Megan Fox as Goldberry and Olivia Munn as Beorn.


Carrot Top Adrien Brody as Tom Bombadil
John Travolta as Beorn (just beating out Robin Williams)
... and since Michael Bay is obviously directing, Megan Fox is out...
Taylor Momsen as Goldberry

You know there are f*cking casting directors out there who would think most of my jokes were actually good ideas.
 
2010-05-28 09:44:08 PM  

RoyFokker'sGhost: The All-Powerful Atheismo: tallguywithglasseson: The All-Powerful Atheismo: ...and Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug

I'd pay to see that.

Really?

Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug is at least as uninspired, unoriginal and horrible as anything else on that list.

uninspired maybe, unoriginal maybe, but that ignores the fact that he could make a damn good smaug. If so, who gives a shiat if it's an unoriginal choice. They might have to edit his voice digitally to sound less "freeman"ly, but it could be really awesome.

I see your Morgan Freeman as Smaug and raise you Keith David as Smaug.

That alone would raise the gross by another $50M.


That would be the best choice ever.
 
2010-05-28 09:47:40 PM  

dr.zaeus: "Frito rolled his eyes heavenward. It was going to be a long epic."

BOTR


Single most awesome book in the history of mankind.

Except 1066 and all that.
 
2010-05-28 09:51:20 PM  
I am a small bidness man.

Make, produce, and release "The Hobbitt."
 
2010-05-28 10:00:38 PM  
Fano [recently expired TotalFark] 2010-05-28 08:00:00 PM
The All-Powerful Atheismo: tallguywithglasseson: The All-Powerful Atheismo:

Morgan Freeman as the voice of Smaug is at least as uninspired, unoriginal and horrible as anything else on that list.

uninspired maybe, unoriginal maybe, but that ignores the fact that he could make a damn good smaug. If so, who gives a shiat if it's an unoriginal choice. They might have to edit his voice digitally to sound less "freeman"ly, but it could be really awesome.

The first night's the toughest, no doubt about it. They march you in naked as the day you were born, without even a pocket handkerchief, and when they put you in that goblin cave... and you tumble into a crevasse as you scream for dwarves... that's when you know it's for real. A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it. And a riddle-contest.


I'd like to say that Bilbo fought the good fight, and the goblins left him alone. But Middle-Earth ain't no fairy tale world.

In TA1601 Bilbo escaped from the wood elves prison. All they found of him was a muddy cloak, a bar of soap, and and some smutty pictures of naked Beorn. I remember thinking it would take a man six hundred years to escape with all the dwarves. Old Bilbo managed it in less than a year. Oh, Bilbo loved maps. I imagine it appealed to his meticulous nature. A moon-letter here, a rune there. Geography is the study of people and places. That's all it takes really, people, and places. That, and a big goddamn magic ring. Like I said, in prison a man will do most anything to keep his mind occupied. Turns out Bilbo's favorite hobby was stealing elvish wine, a mouthful at a time. I guess after the Necromancer was defeated, Bilbo decided he'd been here just about long enough. Biblo did like he was told, trimmed his toe hairs. The guards simply didn't notice. Neither did I... I mean, seriously, how often do you really look at a hobbit's feet? Bilbo crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shiat smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to. Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.


I'd like to think the last thing that went through Smaug's heart, other than Black Arrow, was how Bilbo Baggins ever got the best of him. (new window)



I ... I think I love you.
 
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