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(How Stuff Works)   How can whale vomit help me retire?   (animals.howstuffworks.com) divider line 79
    More: PSA, baleen whales, vomiting, marine mammals, quizes, perfumes  
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9558 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2010 at 10:55 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-05-28 09:02:00 AM  
theinfosphere.org
 
2010-05-28 09:52:30 AM  
C'mon, Mushu! Barf! Barf like a freshman!
 
2010-05-28 10:20:11 AM  
Who smells like freaking porpoise hork?
 
2010-05-28 10:58:34 AM  
It should have a big label on it reading "WARNING: WHALE'S VOMIT!"

Our sales would plummet!

FARK your sales!
 
2010-05-28 11:00:02 AM  
I'm the whale biologist. Though personally I hate whales. Especially Mushu.
 
2010-05-28 11:01:39 AM  
Where's Roseanne Barr when you need her?
 
2010-05-28 11:01:46 AM  
Precious hamburgers?
 
2010-05-28 11:02:16 AM  
I remember first reading about ambergris in a Donald Duck comic book when I was a kid. Donald found a chunk, and Huey, Dewey and Louie looked it up in their all-knowing Junior Woodchuck manual and read that it was worth big bucks.
 
2010-05-28 11:02:31 AM  
I would like to take the time to thank everyone here who has already posted what I was going to.

Thanks!

/Really, I mean it.
//Saves me the trouble.
///Precious ambergris!
////Precious hamburgers?
 
2010-05-28 11:02:42 AM  
It looks like all the bases have been covered here...
 
2010-05-28 11:03:01 AM  
"It ruined my swimsuit!"
"That swimsuit was ruined the minute it went on you. Whale biologist."

/all the relevant lines were taken in the first five posts
 
2010-05-28 11:03:16 AM  
I had no idea I would hear the phrase "nostril heaven" today.

Who knew??
 
2010-05-28 11:03:50 AM  
When a whale initially vomits up ambergris, it is soft and has a terrible smell.

That's because it's coming out the other (non-vomiting) end.
 
2010-05-28 11:03:57 AM  
Ambergris. Noun. A grease-like product of the sperm whale's digestive tract that is used as a base in the finest perfumes. This has been Roseanne, your guide to the world of facts
 
2010-05-28 11:05:32 AM  
I catch the scent of ambergis and turn my head, surprised.
 
2010-05-28 11:05:36 AM  
How can whale vomit help me retire?

Truly, one of the great unanswered questions...

some others...
/Is there Truth?
//Is there Justice?
///Is there any pizza left?
 
2010-05-28 11:07:33 AM  
Rigger1955: I had no idea I would hear the phrase "nostril heaven" today.

Who knew??


You read out loud?
 
2010-05-28 11:08:14 AM  
Came for precious hamburgers
 
2010-05-28 11:08:21 AM  
DiscoSuperfly: I catch the scent of ambergis and turn my head, surprised.

I was wondering what song I knew that word from.
Thanks!

/Rush rules
 
2010-05-28 11:09:22 AM  
It puts the whale vomit on its skin.
 
2010-05-28 11:09:32 AM  
Bondith: "It ruined my swimsuit!"
"That swimsuit was ruined the minute it went on you. Whale biologist."

/all the relevant lines were taken in the first five posts


Are you trolling? Such a misquote! Here:

"Oh crud, he ate my suit."
"The suit was ugly! Whale biologist."
 
2010-05-28 11:10:00 AM  
That episode was just on last night! COINCIDENCE???
 
2010-05-28 11:10:38 AM  
Bad_ad85: Rigger1955: I had no idea I would hear the phrase "nostril heaven" today.

Who knew??

You read out loud?


Yea, that's as far as I got in school.
 
2010-05-28 11:13:56 AM  
Came for Futurama references.
 
2010-05-28 11:14:33 AM  
Mushu is sad!
 
2010-05-28 11:17:28 AM  
Thank you, Fark, for the Futurama references.
 
2010-05-28 11:18:32 AM  
Pants full of macaroni!!: That episode was just on last night! COINCIDENCE???

This

/precious hamburgers
 
2010-05-28 11:19:12 AM  
Link (new window)


I wonder if her friends knew about this.

/Inevitable
 
2010-05-28 11:19:15 AM  
And I've managed to make it all the way through this thread without learning my lesson.
 
2010-05-28 11:20:45 AM  

SweetSilverBlues


It should have a big label on it reading "WARNING: WHALE'S VOMIT!"

Our sales would plummet!

FARK your sales!


*polishes the stainless steel bolts that pop out and plunge straight through both cheeks*
 
2010-05-28 11:26:08 AM  
A major gap in my understanding of both purfumery and whale exudate is now filled.
 
2010-05-28 11:26:36 AM  
After all those years of beach-combing as a youth, and all the times I threw that mysterious, perfumy, waxy shiat back on the shore thinking it was some kind of industrial accident, I now *severely* kick myself in the ass. Especially every time this crap hits the news. C'mon, I was in my 20s and there was no internet... how the hell was I supposed to know that I was holding @ $500 worth of wale vomit in my hands?

/DAMMIT.
 
2010-05-28 11:28:00 AM  
I actually knew what ambergris was before seeing this. Reading Encyclopedia Brown books while growing up was good for something after all.
 
2010-05-28 11:28:57 AM  
"excellent flavoring for food"

Seriously eating old whale vomit, Steveo would do it but who else?
 
2010-05-28 11:29:18 AM  
fta: "But legal issues can make it difficult to find a buyer, depending on where the ambergris washes up."


That would include ANYWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES, and much of the rest of the world, too. See http://www.cropwatch.org/ambergrisupdate.htm (new window) among other places.

Go ahead and decide for yourself if it's ethical or not, I can't tell you how to think, but the law says it's illegal to own the stuff.
 
2010-05-28 11:30:43 AM  
theinfosphere.org

Approves of this thread.
 
2010-05-28 11:30:55 AM  
thespindrifter: After all those years of beach-combing as a youth, and all the times I threw that mysterious, perfumy, waxy shiat back on the shore thinking it was some kind of industrial accident, I now *severely* kick myself in the ass. Especially every time this crap hits the news. C'mon, I was in my 20s and there was no internet... how the hell was I supposed to know that I was holding @ $500 worth of wale vomit in my hands?

/DAMMIT.


I believe it's illegal to sell ambergris in the US. But you could go to New Zealand and sell it to someone where.

1. Buy $2000 ticket to Auckland
2. Sell $500 of precious hamburgers
3. Profit!
 
2010-05-28 11:33:04 AM  
phaseolus: fta: "But legal issues can make it difficult to find a buyer, depending on where the ambergris washes up."

That would include ANYWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES, and much of the rest of the world, too. See http://www.cropwatch.org/ambergrisupdate.htm (new window) among other places.

Go ahead and decide for yourself if it's ethical or not, I can't tell you how to think, but the law says it's illegal to own the stuff.


It's a farked up law. Seriously, if it WASHES UP ON SHORE, it's fair game. Whatever happened to Maritime salvage law? Oh right, if it makes sense, it's illegal. I remember when that shipping container full of mini-scooters ran aground in the UK a few years back, and the former owners made a huge stink about anyone actually bothering to salvage the cycles except for the company. They even went so far as to ban the registration of any of the serial #s from the shipment, in clear violation of Centuries worth of international salvage law. F*ckers!
 
2010-05-28 11:35:42 AM  
charliegower.typepad.com
 
2010-05-28 11:36:33 AM  
moops: thespindrifter: After all those years of beach-combing as a youth, and all the times I threw that mysterious, perfumy, waxy shiat back on the shore /DAMMIT.

I believe it's illegal to sell ambergris in the US. But you could go to New Zealand and sell it to someone where.

1. Buy $2000 ticket to Auckland
2. Sell $500 of precious hamburgers
3. Profit!


Yeah yeah, I know. However, if I remember correctly, there were more than a few perfumers from the UK who were willing to look the other way, hence the hubbub the last time this happened when a woman wanted to do that very thing; IIRC, the amount she had collected was substantial enough to warrant serious profit at auction over there, and would have more than paid for the trip + her mortgage.

Back before our 3-mile offshore net ban went into effect in the 90s here in FL, golf-ball sized wads of the stuff would routinely wash up on shore, especially after a good storm or hurricane (hence my estimate of approx. $500 worth; just a guess.)
 
2010-05-28 11:38:21 AM  
Threads like this are designed to lure you into posting vomit photos. Don't fall for the TRAP!


/this community service message brought to you by Gato Negro
 
2010-05-28 11:43:16 AM  
SweetSilverBlues: It should have a big label on it reading "WARNING: WHALE'S VOMIT!"

Our sales would plummet!

FARK your sales!


I've been to a small factory where they process minerals used to make the "foundation" of makeup. The guy there said that when water is added to the mineral it becomes something that looks and feels like snot. Hence, the insider term for the stuff, "Pig Snot." Imagine, tins of makeup with "WARNING! Contains synthetic pig snot!" You'd see a lot more plain looking women around, I bet.
 
2010-05-28 11:50:24 AM  
thespindrifter:It's a farked up law. Seriously, if it WASHES UP ON SHORE, it's fair game. ... F*ckers!


Ah, well. I might be mistaken about the law, and I'm too busy/lazy to look it all up right now, but I *think* it's one of those endangered species things. If it's true that much of the ambergris on the market came from hunted whales then trafficking in any whale product would be problematic in the same way that ivory from an elephant that died of natural causes would be difficult or impossible to buy & sell.

Laws about endangered species' products are always kinda stupid on some level, ask any acoustic guitar builder ... but IMO they're preferable to NO laws.
 
2010-05-28 11:51:08 AM  
Done in one. And 2, 3, 5, 6, and 7.

With a tweaked Python quote sneaking in at #4.
 
2010-05-28 11:51:53 AM  
idesofmarch: Bondith: "It ruined my swimsuit!"
"That swimsuit was ruined the minute it went on you. Whale biologist."

/all the relevant lines were taken in the first five posts

Are you trolling? Such a misquote! Here:

"Oh crud, he ate my suit."
"The suit was ugly! Whale biologist."


NOW all the bases have been covered.
 
2010-05-28 11:52:59 AM  
destrip: SweetSilverBlues: It should have a big label on it reading "WARNING: WHALE'S VOMIT!"

Our sales would plummet!

FARK your sales!

I've been to a small factory where they process minerals used to make the "foundation" of makeup. The guy there said that when water is added to the mineral it becomes something that looks and feels like snot. Hence, the insider term for the stuff, "Pig Snot." Imagine, tins of makeup with "WARNING! Contains synthetic pig snot!" You'd see a lot more plain looking women around, I bet.


ummmm, no... if women thought putting real pig snot on their faces would make them beautiful... they would be fighting over the legal ramifications of keeping their own sniffling herd in their suburban front yards... and bragging about the number of pigs and the amount of snot they could collect daily.
 
2010-05-28 11:54:23 AM  
Whale Vomit
?
Profit
 
2010-05-28 11:54:41 AM  
Terry Bruge Hiplo is sick of the penises on the wall at Myer's Super Foods.
 
2010-05-28 11:56:54 AM  
static.guim.co.uk

Understands. Does not approve.
 
2010-05-28 11:57:26 AM  
thespindrifter: After all those years of beach-combing as a youth, and all the times I threw that mysterious, perfumy, waxy shiat back on the shore thinking it was some kind of industrial accident, I now *severely* kick myself in the ass. Especially every time this crap hits the news. C'mon, I was in my 20s and there was no internet... how the hell was I supposed to know that I was holding @ $500 worth of wale vomit in my hands?

/DAMMIT.


Throw it back.
I'll pay you $1000 to chuck it back.
They make perfume out of it and a hypernose like myself can smell it a mile away and it makes us sick.

I don't care what you think it smells like, people like us know what puke from a huge mammal smells like.

I always wondered what the "little lold lady smell" was.
When I got tested for my nose, I found out it was whale puke.

I will never forgive the perfume industry for making something for humans to smell like vomit.
 
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