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Street signs of the Apostles, cannabis farmers getting baked, and the only way to ruin the phrase "Kate Moss lesbian fling": Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 5/16 - 5/22 
Posted by Drew at 2010-05-25 1:38:38 PM (14 comments) | Permalink
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5155 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2010 at 2:00 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

No writeup this week from Drew. Enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-05-16 to Sat 2010-05-22:

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  94-year-old woman earns college diploma, doesn't seem too worried about repaying student loans    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Thieves are targeting street signs named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Police plan to throw the good book at them    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  At the end of the day, journalists - unsung heroes for concerned residents - would use cliches in a split second. In a last-ditch effort to do an about face, one writer provides an outpouring of support and points out the most overused cliches  

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Man killed by heat from cannabis farm in his home. Dude, he was SO baked    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  30,000 year old sex toy used to start fires, your mom    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Police bust up an HIV/AIDS pyramid scheme. Obviously, Ramses wasn't involved    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Alabama geometry teacher goes off on tangent, lectures kids on angles needed to assassinate President Obama, drawing acute interest of Secret Service. How obtuse    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Ethnic violence prompts Kyrgyzstan to declare a state of mrgncy    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Man gets hand caught in wood-chipping machine, doctors expect him to be all right    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Alfalfa sprouts recalled due to salmonella, buckwheat crops said to be o-tay    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Dalai Lama finally uses his Twitter account. Trending topics: #Gunga galunga    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Gay breaks 44-year-old mark. Mark inconsolable    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Sagan wins fifth stage of the Tour of California, billions and billions of picoseconds a head of his nearest rival    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Rajon Rondo, playing in the Eastern Conference Finals, gets a pony. Well, he didn't actually get a pony, but he was getting pretty much anything else he wanted against Orlando    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  "Traffic density and increased BMI linked." That's science-talk for "Fat people don't like to walk"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Nearly one in three social networkers suffer from 'poster's remorse.' Mods, please delete this    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Astronauts replace 4 of the 6 batteries on the ISS. Thankfully the ISS wasn't built by Apple since that would have involved taking the whole space station back to the Apple store    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Showbiz:

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Reviewer says Sarah Jessica Parker's shoes are the only interesting thing about Sex and the City 2. Probably because they bring you good luck    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Supermodel *fap* Kate Moss *fap fap* had a lesbian fling *fap fap fap* with Courtney Love. *PPpppsssssssst*    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Hollywood not the only place out of ideas. Asian studio set to remake Ghost. Patrick Swayze to oversee production    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  VA. A.G. resists probing of major donor    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  When Palin endorses a candidate over the webiatchanges the race in their favor. Delusional Dems can only remain so optimisticoontil the primaries are over    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Third time's a charm: Germany now owns Europe    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Music:

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Just like how one large planet-destroying asteroid can still do unthinkable damage by breaking off into smaller asteroids, Joe Jonas looks to inflict damage upon an unwitting public with a solo record    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Kelis and Robyn hatch plans for their "And You Are...?" joint tour    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Bono undergoes emergency back surgery; doctors believe it is because he is continually trying to throw his arms around the world    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Inventor of ATM machine passes away, away    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  Symantec buying VeriSign web security division. Paying online with a credit card will now consume 33% of your system resources    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from ssl.fark.com too old to be available]  With $50 million from Toyota, Tesla Motors sure to be unstoppable    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


14 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2010-05-25 02:03:00 PM  
This is Obama's Boobies.
 
2010-05-25 02:04:37 PM  
Next week's headline: Seoul a hole
 
2010-05-25 02:10:17 PM  
Good Headline: Inventor of ATM machine passes away, away

Great Headline: ATM inventor dies. Sasha Grey inconsolable
 
2010-05-25 02:15:54 PM  
one of mine made it

*proud*
 
2010-05-25 02:21:32 PM  
Hobodeluxe: one of mine made it

*proud*


As did one of mine. ^5

/O-TAY!!!
 
2010-05-25 04:49:46 PM  
Smokey the Bare: Good Headline: Inventor of ATM machine passes away, away

Great Headline: ATM inventor dies. Sasha Grey inconsolable


i dont get it. or the original. (does sasha like anus to mouth?)
 
2010-05-25 04:51:18 PM  
AgonistAlex: Smokey the Bare: Good Headline: Inventor of ATM machine passes away, away

Great Headline: ATM inventor dies. Sasha Grey inconsolable

i dont get it. or the original. (does sasha like anus to mouth?)


Automatic Teller Machine machine. Away away.
 
2010-05-25 04:56:42 PM  
thank you danny, i feel stupid. (still dont get sasha grey)
 
2010-05-25 05:31:15 PM  
AgonistAlex: thank you danny, i feel stupid. (still dont get sasha grey)

She's a porn starlet, ATM can also mean ass to mouth.
 
2010-05-25 05:34:15 PM  
yeah, i didn't think it was that obvious (suggested that that was what was meant in my filteravoidance post. )
 
2010-05-25 05:39:13 PM  
AgonistAlex: yeah, i didn't think it was that obvious (suggested that that was what was meant in my filteravoidance post. )

It was a pretty piss poor attempt at gutter humor imo.
 
2010-05-25 06:06:41 PM  
Smokey the Bare: Good Headline: Inventor of ATM machine passes away, away

Great Headline: ATM inventor dies. Sasha Grey inconsolable


As the subby of the Sasha Grey one, thank you :)
 
2010-05-26 10:04:13 AM  
DammitIForgotMyLogin: Smokey the Bare: Good Headline: Inventor of ATM machine passes away, away

Great Headline: ATM inventor dies. Sasha Grey inconsolable

As the subby of the Sasha Grey one, thank you :)


Really, one of the best headlines I've seen this year. Could not stop laughing.

/done with fellating you now
 
2010-05-26 07:56:48 PM  
Smokey the Bare:

/done with fellating you now


Sasha Grey inconsolable once again.
 
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