vitaMan enriched

Millions of people in Manila have been drinking super-chlorinated water this week as the body of a teenager remained stubbornly stuck in a major supply pipe.

Damn those stubborn teenagers.

ummm.. sick indeed

I want pictures.

farking disgusting

We will have to fish out the body first," Dr Concepcion Quizon, chief executive assistant to Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit,

Quizon almost sounds like QUEZON and chief almost sounds like CHEF.

ITS THE IRON CHEF FILIPINO!

First the farkin' fish, now this? Time to switch to beer!

ewwww.

Cream of Some Young Guy anyone?

Ok, this is so freakin wrong. Cut the water in the pipe, and drag his decaying body the hell out. What is so hard about this?

Boy,he took "hitting the pipe" wayyy to literally.

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."

Just send down a couple dozen kids to shake it free, you know, like at Mt. Splashmore.

Everyone sing it:
I wanna go to Mt Splashmore,
take me
take me
take me
take me
NOW!

NOW
NOW
NOW
NOW

Mt Splashmore won't you take me now!

Mom, there's a nose in my glass of water!

"This tastes like its got a little Wang in it"

I'll bet they sell shiatloads of Evian there.

I think I once caused the same effect with a big ole turd.

Mitsuko ?

Oh my God. They killed Manila Kenny.

I drank a what, Peg?!?

new spongebob character here?

All we have is body water, or mountain dew...

Ewww...I'll take the body water.

Yummy.

Oh gross. How did this happen?

Lunch, anyone? I was thinking about a MANwich.

Theflyingdutchman: Brick Top

Don't they have those Caphabura's (sp?) thingys over there? Put one of them down there.

two words "liquid draino"

yewwwww

Whoa whoa, now there's your pra-blum. Dead body in the pipes. And that's gonna costya.

Esto es triste, pero estuvo limitada para suceder. (que no era un retrucano.) Para Manila los residentes han manoseado demasiado de largo sus narices con los dedos en los zapatos de Imelda Marcos, y ahora quin est pagando el precio? Un adolescente en un pipe..that es quin! Y comemos nuestro alimento con los palillos... que la irona salvaje contina empujando en mis ojos y me pregunto de lo que se hacen las pipas.

i bet he feels stupid...or dead.

Eventually the pressure will build up, and he'll shoot out to the packaging room. But unfortunately, he'll never get to inherit the chocolate factory.

Lurkergrrrl: i bet he feels stupid...or dead.

Or squishy.

Mmmm mmmmm good!

It's important to note that it's *super* chlorinated. As a child, I tested our drinking water straight from the tap with a swimming pool chlorine test kit, and the water straight from the tap had more chlorine than the pool did. Disturbing... ;)

MMMM. corpse tea

I like mine with a little lemon.

I'm still a bit confused as to how he actually managed to fall into an aquaduct while picking fruit...and get stuck in the pipe...hmmm maybe time for sleeps

ME GUSTA NADAR!!!!

does this make all those people sort of cannibals?

nothing better to wash man's best friend down with than, well, with a man i 'spose.

What they said...

Theflyingdutchman:

Everything Bricktop Said was Funny as Hell

/ great relate!

Bob_Laublaw,

Yo no sabe sobre poltica, sino es usted el Bob que jug RTCW en el servidor de TimeLord en el pasado?

THere's always dead fish and other animals. This shouldn't pose much more risk.

"Doomflange
First the farkin' fish, now this? Time to switch to beer!"

You know, there's still rats and mice that get into the beer at breweries. Not as many as there used to be, true, but i have yet to meet a perfect Quality Control department (and i used to be in one...)
oh well, it doesn't stop me from drinking massive quantities of beer.

I cant believe no one has cast any doubt on this story yet.

A little research and you find out the water supply was CUT

http://www.manilatimes.net/national/2003/may/21/top_stories/20030521top9.html

No es una cosa politica, pero una cosa muy triste. No puedo averiguar como la compania ya no ha sacado el pobre hombre.

I smell a movie. Starring Dan Hedaya as a former Rotor-Rooter man who has vowed to never return to his old life . . . until his country needed his extraordinary talent one more time. John Lovitz can be his newphew who doesn't want to see his uncle's fragile psyche shattered. Tim Robbins as the engineer who clashes with Hedaya's methods of operation. And Angelica Houston as the comely mother of the stubborn teenager, who falls for this tortured sanitation worker, but can not leave her ailing husband (Anthony Hopkins).

"We will have to fish out the body first," Dr Concepcion Quizon, chief executive assistant to Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit, told reporters on Tuesday. "The public will not feel good or right using the water."

uh, no kidding

05-20-03 11:18:17 AM Nomales
Ok, this is so freakin wrong. Cut the water in the pipe, and drag his decaying body the hell out. What is so hard about this?

A dead body in water gets extremely bloated, so it is probably wedged in there tighter than a camel's ass in a sandstorm

Christopher Reeve won't stand for this.

My lunch doesn't seem that appealing anymore...

Everybody likes a full bodied beer, so what's the problem?

Um, I dont give a frig how much chlorine you jam in that water - it's still going to have traces of human being in it - hair, nads, skin, whatever.

I AINT DRINKIN IT. Fish the f'n body out you sick fvcks!

"Treme hacia arriba! No es divertido ms! "

My dad once told me a story about WWII when he was stationed in N Africa, in a small village. The water supply was a well in the village square.

Someone noticed the water seemed a little brownish. This was brought to the attention of the CO, who took a taste and pronounced the water was fine, there was just a little "iron" in the water!

The tommies were skeptical and boiled the water before drinking it, just in case.

Shortly after, someone stuck a gaff down the well and fished out a dead cat!

No word if their CO actually survived, or not.

Every now and then, my municipal water supply is a bit browninsh too. The city tell me it's because of "manganese" in the water, but I think they should be checking for dead cats!

Day_Old_Dutchie - Would that be MANganese by chance?


Fire up the 'ol bunsen burner my friend.

TheAnusThatAteManhattan

Nope, pretty sure it's dead cat. Or maybe squirrel. Or Coyote. Or groundhog....

This is sucky. I cannot imagine being stuck in a pipe and having my family have to wait to get me out.

Gee, the writer put that all so delicately.

Body in Pipe an Unsavory Addition to Water
...as the body of a teenager remained stubbornly stuck...
...as it tries to dislodge the body...
..."We will have to fish out the body first...

Wouldn't that be like new york city water?

I got the problem solved!

Talk to Brazil get some pirhanas fedexed to Manila and release them up stream. I hear they can strip a body in minutes.

That maggots or acid, but the acid may damage the delicate balance of the the sewer ecosystem.

Is it just me, or should they just re-name the Philippines Bizzaro-world. The strangest shiat happens there.

DrunkenLimeyBastard:
A dead body in water gets extremely bloated, so it is probably wedged in there tighter than a camel's ass in a sandstorm

How does a camel's ass get wedged into a sandstorm?

DrunkenLimeyBastard,
Man, there has got to be some way to shut off the water and get his camel ass wedged body out of there. Am I right folks?

Four Words:
Drano, Tanker Truck Size.

That's why I never trust a government water official telling me water is 'safe' to drink. There's a difference between safe and disgusting. I'm sure I can drink dirty water once in a while and not die from it. But it doesn't mean it's good for me. Who knows what kind of shiat is in my tap water. And it tastes disgusting. I'd rather trust my mouth than some prick.

Yeah, and we all know there's nooooo water in beer.

El pobre muchacho probablemente fue victima de Pennywise el Payaso.

Todos flotamos aquiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...
Translation: The poor boy was probably a victim of Pennywise the Clown.... We all float down heeeeeeeeere.

Ewwww.

Just ewwww.

Last words: "Drinks are on me"

wow, RingToll...
that was... ROFLMAO (or something like that..)

reminds me of the japanese movie "Dark Water". whoops. i just gave the whole movie away.

I love these frigging stories that say "Manilla" and don't give you a firggin clue WHERE the hell this "Manilla" is. Is it a town? A country? A PLANET? Where the fark is it?!

Manila is the capital city of the Philippines.

I don't see what the problem is, personally.

While the dead, bloated teen is in the water system, along with the extra chlorine, a good cook now has a tasty broth for "Dahmer Soup".

Hey! When life gives you lemons (or dead guys in the water system), make lemonade!