Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Memo details what Starbucks will do to you if you go bezerk and smash up their store   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

6312 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2001 at 4:15 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

46 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-10-03 04:21:09 PM  
Starbucks actually isn't that bad. They do donate a lot more money than most other corporations. I think that because of their ubiquitousness they get picked on a lot more than would a corporation who wasn't on every single block! :)
2001-10-03 04:21:10 PM  
The memo did not say anything about smashing up the store that I saw. It did remind me of that anti smoking guy in Clerks though.
2001-10-03 04:21:43 PM  
Oh shiat thats funny... there should be more people like reverend billy!

Or maybe he's not a coffee person!
2001-10-03 04:28:06 PM  
Doesnt this remind you of the "Cancer Merchant" scene in "Clerks"??

"What type of people pelt an innocent man with cigarettes?"
"at least they werent lit." (or something like that)
2001-10-03 04:28:43 PM  
Roche beat me too it.

4th and 5th posts!
2001-10-03 04:28:46 PM  
I wonder if there is a connection between Starbucks and Scientology.
2001-10-03 04:29:01 PM  
5. If all else fails, beat reverend Billy repeatedly about the head with Starbucks burgers.
2001-10-03 04:31:35 PM  
Guy is a douchebag. I hate these self proclaimed "crusaders" who think that going into businesses and disrupting their operations is a fair way to express their opinions. If your message is so correct, you should be able to get it across the traditional means. And before anyone says boohoo the corporations have deep pockets, there are plenty of outlets that can be used.

This guy ever pulled this shiat while I'm getting my latte, I'd scald his ass.
2001-10-03 04:33:13 PM  
Tostfeld - I hope you do run into him. I would enjoy reading about it on The Smoking Gun.
2001-10-03 04:35:07 PM  
Wasn't it Starbucks who charged rescue workers over a hundred bucks for water on 9/11? This company has class. I am sure The Rev will not even be noticed when standing next to one of the franchisees.
2001-10-03 04:37:33 PM  
This guy rocks. I farking hate Starbucks. Their coffee is garbage and they make a point of running privately owned small coffee stores into the shiatter, even when they aren't competing for the same market segment. I hate em.
2001-10-03 04:37:34 PM  
Anyone else really, really sick of all these neo-commie crusaders? You want to support locally owned or PC businesses? Spend money there. Don't shiat in everyone elses cereal because the world isn't a goddamn utopia.

PS: starbucks blows
2001-10-03 04:37:36 PM  
Redbull -
Starbucks has burgers??!?!
2001-10-03 04:42:26 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Please don't take our coffee, Rev. Billy!
2001-10-03 04:44:25 PM  
Top Five Ways to Mess with Starbucks:

5) Put up banners proclaiming it "Free Coffee Day".
4) Dress up like a manager, call Police and have REAL manager arrested for impersonating a SB manager.
3) Replace coffee in bags with Folgers.
2) Remove all gamepieces from games (if equipped), or replace all magazines with copies of "Nutsack Today" and "Watchtower".
1) Read Starbucks' internal management memos aloud at busy times.
2001-10-03 04:44:53 PM  
StrongBad - Haven't got a clue I'm from England. wtf do I know ?
2001-10-03 04:46:13 PM  
Macfrugal: I'll buy ya a beer, it seems we agree. Starbucks is NOT the root of all evil. These whiners are the same people, now crying about "gentrification" who, five years ago said, "The city is such a slum, there's nowhere to get good coffee." Fark off.

You don't like progress? Move back to the hills and grow your own damn coffee.
2001-10-03 04:49:59 PM  
Sharv: think I will. I'm pretty sick of ill-informed backlashing.

Nothing is the root of all evil.
2001-10-03 04:52:45 PM  
evil has many roots. Evil is a farkin tree.
2001-10-03 04:55:26 PM  
What bugs me the most is the utterly inaccurate claim that Starbucks "deliberately runs independent coffee shops out of business." Huh? Ever actually go to Starbucks? The stuff is damned EXPENSIVE! It's not like they low-ball the competition (as is frequently alleged of Wal-Mart) - the coffee is more expensive there than almost anywhere else.

Plus, everyone who really knows the score knows that Dunkin Donuts makes blessedly good coffee at a great price.
2001-10-03 04:56:07 PM  
All $bucks does is sell some seriously overpriced coffee and allow movies to do cameos of thier products for free. I won't spend a dime there but come on, who the hell (no pun intended) does this guy think he's saving? $bucks buys a lot of beans. That means a lot of jobs. Perhapse the Rev ought to get one.
2001-10-03 04:56:23 PM  
My point is... people LIKE Starbucks coffee. Don't blame the company because they have a popular product. Jeeze.
2001-10-03 05:01:55 PM  
Actually I do have a personal beef with Starbucks... 3 of my favorite coffee shops in Atlanta have been closed by Starbucks opening up on the same block. Starbucks then went about undercutting the fark out of their prices... $1.50 for a double cappachino... which was well under the cost for making it.

Well each of these coffee places could not compete and went oput of business, even though they had better product and a better atmosphere in my opinion. They just could not compete with the cut rates that Starbucks was peddling... the very day after this one went under the starbucks 50 feet away jacked all their prices up to normal starbucks prices, which was more expensive than what the competition was selling them at.

I say fark Starbucks and their non-competetive practices.
2001-10-03 05:21:33 PM  
Wonder if it was like the scene in the movie Falling Down? "I want breakfast." "We stopped serving breakfast five seconds ago. Sorry, sir. Would you like a burger?"! "I want my breakfast." "AH! Please don't shoot, would you like fries with that?"
The Oompaloompa solution: drink tea.
2001-10-03 05:24:35 PM  
Starbucks is a shiatty operation that deserves to be destroyed!!! $5 for a coffee?! fark that! KILL EM ALL!
2001-10-03 05:32:33 PM  

coffee plantations.

2001-10-03 05:36:07 PM  
Ranting about Starbucks. Pathetic.
2001-10-03 05:40:51 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

the best way to drink starbucks
2001-10-03 05:46:32 PM  
The ultimate cup of coffee?

WaWa coffee. That stuff will wake the dead.
2001-10-03 05:59:58 PM  
Yeah, Starbucks ran some people out of business.

So did WalMart, Microsoft, IBM, Exxon, Costco, Oracle, Citigroup, General Electric, Pfizer, United Airlines, Home Depot, McDonald's, Phillip Morris, Intel, Disney, Cisco, General Motors, Ford, Nucor, and AT&T.

So did about a hundred other companies out there.

If you don't like $5 coffees, then don't buy $5 coffees. There's still plenty of mom and pop coffee shops around. Great ones, too! Starbucks helped weed out a lot of the shiat coffeehouses with their coffee that tastes like it was pulled out on an Indonesian's ass before pouring it into coffee cup that they gave a Cherokee teabag! Mom and Pop had a reputation for crap: the best are still out there, thriving right alongside (if down the street) from Starbucks.

Reverend Billy is a hypocritical shiat. He's likely done nothing with his life, and he'll never do anything to adds to our society and makes it better. Noooooo...far easier to protest and demonstrate in front of a crowd of people who don't give a rat's ass about him.
2001-10-03 06:08:20 PM  
Way to much cafffine in this thread
2001-10-03 06:26:25 PM  
I am sooo hardcore Wawa. *salutes*
2001-10-03 06:45:39 PM  
Starbucks puts up shops like mushrooms spawn.
the reason people go to Starbucks is the same reason that people go to Mcdonalds, brand name recognition. Having said that, yes $bucks actually provides a decent service. It tends to be expensive, but people will pay more for a product they KNOW or perceive as quality, and that's where $bucks has a strangehold. Frappachino is not a real beverage, it's a $ bucks concotion.

I don't give my business to $bucks and i'd suggest that you don't either, because no matter how good the coffee is you probably have a nice little mom and pop that makes it better, and they're probably going under because there are 3 starbucks within a two block radius diluting the market.

fark frappachino.

As for treating their employees well, yes they shiat on them far less then other large corporations and have a decent benefits package (by american standards) and what not. It's also a terrible place to work if you are anything other then a college or high school kid.

If we keep going how we are though, the only jobs left for non ceo's will be at Starbucks.

ah the point, yeah the point is, it donates money to charity, which is something a lot of corporations don't do, but that's a great marketing point. See 'starbucks isn't so bad because...', screw that, they are still completely ubiquitous, overpriced and filled with yuppies. I ignore them and urge others to do the same.

I think Rev. Billy is great, at least he's doing something against something he doesn't believe in ($bucks disgustingly soul less corporate practices), that's more then most people, farkers included do.
2001-10-03 06:51:10 PM  
I'll just be happy when Starbucks goes out of business now that all the frickin' dot-commers have lost their jobs and now have no money to spend on coffee.
2001-10-03 07:25:49 PM  
you know starbucks opens stores in markets where they know they can't make a profit, just so some other coffee shop won't be able to open there? oh, and this reverend guy's complaints about starbucks are pretty much accurate, except for the part about how they are taking advantage of the barristas. decent wage, tips, stock options, medical coverage. sounds pretty good to me.
2001-10-03 07:31:35 PM  
When you are in the Little Five Points area of Atlanta, please make sure to give your trade to my favorite coffee shop, Aurora. The new Starbucks, down the street, is trying to steal their business. But, all the cool people go to Aurora.

(No, I am not affiliated with Aurora in any way.)
2001-10-03 08:25:35 PM  
Meat, Where did you get your Economics/Business degree? The back of MAD magazine? This is America last time I checked. People have the right to sell $4.00 cups of coffee and Businesses have the right to sell $4.00 cups of coffee. Rev Billy is publicity hound out for himself. Let see how many people put up with his shiat when he starts attacking BUDWEISER.
2001-10-03 08:37:17 PM  
I'm not really sure why the good rev has this memo on his web site. Starbucks' recommended response seems to be pretty reasonable and well thought out. It hardly seems to paint their company in a bad light. I mean, it's not like it said "Pull a gun on the bastard and force him out of the store. If he refuses, shoot him in the leg. Aim for femur."
I guess I just don't understand the hatred some people have for any organization with over [insert abitrary relatively large number] employees. This really isn't a good vs. evil type conflict.
A corporate organization isn't inherently evil--just, I suspect, faceless enough that the people who disrupt their businesses don't feel that they are hurting individuals. Which then allows them to ignore those negative actions on their internal karma-ometers and therefore feel that they have the moral high ground.

BTW, I try to avoid Starbucks myself--I guess it's a love of the underdog sort of thing that makes me go to the little guys. But I wish them no ill--I'd just rather help my local proprieters.
2001-10-03 09:32:49 PM  
Forget Starbucks... in Bremerton, there are TWO Walgreen's on Wheaton Way, about 1 mile apart. And as for Wal-Mart...
My friend thinks it's so damn great that he'll be able to buy a bolt-action .22 there for $100... including scope.
So, on one hand you have Starbucks with overpriced crap, and Wal-Mart with stuff that is underpriced but crap all the same. It's all about marketing. Starbucks makes a $5 cup of coffee sound like a great deal and Wal-Mart uses its damnable smiley-face commercials to make it sound like you're getting quality products for next to nothing.
Fark 'em all.
2001-10-03 09:51:24 PM  
Oh, and btw, Starbucks is too dumb to know the real term for a "priest's collar." It's a "Roman collar."
And all these posts about what a jerk this guy is... anyone thought that it just might be a joke?
2001-10-03 10:31:14 PM  
I love how Starbucks upholds another corporate tradition by completely avoiding answering the question:

"How do I respond to my customers if they ask how I feel about Reverend Billy's comments?
Starbucks has achieved success one cup at a time, one store at a time. We started as a small business in Seattle's Pike Place market more than 28 years ago. Since then, each one of our stores has become a unique part of its neighborhood. Our stores are about people. The customers and partners (employees) at each location give the store its own personality and atmosphere."
2001-10-03 11:07:37 PM  
That can easily be rephrased as:
"Starbucks has acheived success on $30 cup at a time, one store with incredibly overpriced crap at a time. We started as an innocent-looking coffee shop in Pike Place Market and annoyed the Fish Throwers for over 28 years. Since then, each one of our stores has popped up in usually unwelcome locations, (except in England where the locals haven't caught on yet) and are an annoyance to the neighbors- those neighbors that we don't force out of business. Our stores are about ripping people off. The customers (yuppie sheep) and partners (slaves) at each location give the store its own personality (ala Rockefeller/Gates) and atmosphere (Aah! The atmosphere! Aaah!)."
2001-10-03 11:09:08 PM  
But I assume that if England's food is as bad as people say it is, then maybe Starbucks there is a godsend. Whatever. Perhaps Starbucks should be limited only to nice, overcast, rainy places like Seattle, London, Dublin... heheheheheh. I see marketing potential.
2001-10-03 11:12:17 PM  
"Operation: Latte Thunder go!"
Fight Club
(or however you spell late)
2001-10-03 11:38:43 PM  

Yeah I go to Aurora or Cafe Diem or Intermetso (sp?) when ever I am down in Little 5/Virginia Highlands.

Starbucks can suck my left testicle for all I care
2001-10-15 06:12:15 PM  
What a nutcase!
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.