FARK.com: (5320773) Man boards Metro to go to work Monday morning, then it gets all Weekend at Bernie's

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		Man boards Metro to go to work Monday morning, then it gets all Weekend at Bernie's (washingtonpost.com)		61
		More: Sad, Metro, Montgomery County, transit systems, Silver Spring, natural causes

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12741 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2010 at 12:13 PM | Favorite | share:

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FishyFred		2010-05-19 10:15:58 AM

Let me know when it turns into Weekend at Bernie's 2, where we can get him to lead us to treasure by playing some very relaxing island music.

/red line
//suck it haters

2wolves		2010-05-19 10:29:36 AM

Metro Zombies, more likely than you think.

Folks who have been commuting by Metro for decades get on their car, fall asleep, wake up one stop before their destination. I've seen it a million times.

FishyFred		2010-05-19 10:38:56 AM

2wolves: Folks who have been commuting by Metro for decades get on their car, fall asleep, wake up one stop before their FINAL destination. I've seen it a million times.

FTFY

jbc		2010-05-19 10:43:21 AM

Nice to hear Andrew McCarthy has found work again.

Debby7813		2010-05-19 10:58:33 AM

///was his name Charlie?

////did he never return?

//obscure?

haddie		2010-05-19 11:01:21 AM

Debby7813: ///was his name Charlie?

////did he never return?

//obscure?

He may ride forever through the streets of Boston, but he ain't obscure.

I_Am_Weasel		2010-05-19 11:01:44 AM

Don't sleep on the subway!

Show us your Marx		2010-05-19 11:03:45 AM

It's always the Red Line

Sybarite		2010-05-19 12:14:35 PM

I remember a dead man sitting next to me
Riding on the Metro

The Angry Hand of God		2010-05-19 12:16:39 PM

Five!
Five Hours!
Five hours dead on the subway!

bump		2010-05-19 12:18:15 PM

Police found him nailed to his seat cause if he hadn't been nailed there, he would've muscled up to those doors and VOOM!...

A Few Degrees Cooler		2010-05-19 12:18:28 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Five!
Five Hours!
Five hours dead on the subway!

I don't know if that was exactly a thread winner, but it definitely gets a +1 from me.

ultraholland		2010-05-19 12:19:48 PM

I've passed out on the Metro but never died

Debeo Summa Credo		2010-05-19 12:19:55 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Five!
Five Hours!
Five hours dead on the subway!

clever.

kbronsito		2010-05-19 12:20:24 PM

Does this count for the DC metro fatalities record... We are No. 1 on fatalities for both commuters and staff!

Overdose		2010-05-19 12:21:00 PM

Whoever did the inspection of that train before it went into the rail yard is a goner.

Sin_City_Superhero		2010-05-19 12:23:22 PM

ultraholland: I've passed out on the Metro but never died

I did. I got better though.

schnarff		2010-05-19 12:23:57 PM

Show us your Marx: It's always the Red Line

Yeah, but unlike the "suicides" that hit the rails, at least this guy didn't screw up service.

/Suicides in quotes because I bet at least some of them aren't.

Savage Bacon		2010-05-19 12:25:04 PM

/can relate
//hot like five o'clock shadow

pylon23		2010-05-19 12:25:17 PM

Wanted for questioning...
files.list.co.uk

codewarrior81		2010-05-19 12:27:13 PM

ultraholland: I've passed out on the Metro but never died

I did. I got better though.

I got turned into a newt once.

/never drinking with Drew again

j68		2010-05-19 12:27:19 PM

*Insert Tom Cruise pic from Collateral here*

wraithmare		2010-05-19 12:27:44 PM

At least it wasn't the Midnight...

Oh, nevermind. Came for pylon23's reference!

ultraholland		2010-05-19 12:33:21 PM

Overdose: Whoever did the inspection of that train before it went into the rail yard is ~~a goner~~ probably getting a promotion.

Don't fire the imbecile; promote the bastard and hide em somewhere else in the company!

Kerubim		2010-05-19 12:33:52 PM

Charlie and the MTA, and Collateral were the first references I thought of. Glad to see that territory has been covered.

KAVORKA		2010-05-19 12:34:41 PM

kbronsito: Does this count for the DC metro fatalities record... We are No. 1 on fatalities for both commuters and staff!

I am subby, and I almost submitted this with a DC metro fatalities headline, but thought the Weekend at Bernie's angle was funnier.

/In fairness, most of the metro deaths have been suicides
//Except for that big crash in MD
///Nobody cares about MD though (or VA)

amazing_live_seamonkeys		2010-05-19 12:35:38 PM

Well, Metro is pretty shiatty. I'll take the dead dude over most of the low class animals on the red line. The ride from Union Station to Takoma looks like something out of the circus.

A Fark Handle		2010-05-19 12:36:25 PM

haddie: Debby7813: ///was his name Charlie?

////did he never return?

//obscure?

He may ride forever through the streets of Boston, but he ain't obscure.

i like charlie's adventures... and it was sweet they named the card he should have had after him.

SharkInfested		2010-05-19 12:37:55 PM

meh, I'm pretty sure I sit next to a dead guy at least once a week on metrobus.

At least they smell dead..

Lt. Cheese Weasel		2010-05-19 12:39:03 PM

Maybe he met a girl on the train who liked choo choos and he couldn't handle it?

'Time of your life eh kid?'

riaction		2010-05-19 12:39:37 PM

He breathed on me! A dead person BREATHED on me!!!

WienerButt		2010-05-19 12:39:40 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Five!
Five Hours!
Five hours dead on the subway!

Thread ended here, folks.

Brick-House		2010-05-19 12:40:34 PM

Well better Weekend at Bernie's than Zombieland

www.zombielandrules.com

/I always find this is the hardest rule to follow...
//anyone got a dollar???

mekkab		2010-05-19 12:43:47 PM

Sybarite: I remember a dead man sitting next to me
Riding on the Metro

*golf clap*

/beats that dumb subway commercial anyday

skinink		2010-05-19 12:51:11 PM

My baby took the morning train,
He died between 9 and 5 and then,
Some punk went thru his pockets to find
Some money waiting there for him!

farkinawsome		2010-05-19 12:52:43 PM

Mondays suck.

H31N0US		2010-05-19 12:58:11 PM

That's how I want to go. Commuting to some soulless job in a soulless city like DC.

sweater_pups		2010-05-19 01:01:45 PM

FTFA: "Nothing could be learned about his age or previous medical history."

Nothing !?!?
That is some good reporting, right there.

ydneysey		2010-05-19 01:02:50 PM

ultraholland: Overdose: Whoever did the inspection of that train before it went into the rail yard is a goner probably getting a promotion.

Don't fire the imbecile; promote the bastard and hide em somewhere else in the company!

Isn't that Metro policy?

dominick		2010-05-19 01:03:01 PM

poor guy was SO happy to get a seat during rush hour, he just didn't want to give it up.

/how this happened on my red line before happening on the x2 or 80 bus is beyond me.

TheYeti		2010-05-19 01:10:36 PM

amazing_live_seamonkeys: Well, Metro is pretty shiatty. I'll take the dead dude over most of the low class animals on the red line. The ride from Union Station to Takoma looks like something out of the circus.

I see your problem...you are going the wrong way.

Repeat after me, "In the direction of Shady Grove."

coolbeans56		2010-05-19 01:14:37 PM

2wolves:
Folks who have been commuting by Metro for decades get on their car, fall asleep, wake up one stop before their destination. I've seen it a million times.

I do this often.

Pick		2010-05-19 01:18:05 PM

It was also unclear why the man was not spotted when the train was inspected before being taken out of service at one point. Metro said it would review its procedures.

11. Check pulse and temperature of any passengers that appear to be sleeping on the train at the end of your shift.

12. If passenger feels cold and has no pulse, contact your supervisor.

someguy945		2010-05-19 01:19:18 PM

I saw this on CSI.

Dialectic		2010-05-19 01:21:24 PM

At least he wasn't shot.

Walker		2010-05-19 01:29:54 PM

Show us your Marx: It's always the Red Line

It's red with blood!

/orange line FTW!

boyvoyeur		2010-05-19 01:31:50 PM

I could drive a golf ball from my office to where this happened. Metro blows.

coolbeans56		2010-05-19 01:34:20 PM

Red line is the Death Line

Green Line is the Soul Train

Yellow Line... Why even Bother? It has only two of its own Stations?

Orange and Blue Lines: Half White, Half Black, Heaven forbid you show up on the wrong side.

The Fabled Silver Line: By the time we get it to Dulles, the rest of the system will be destroyed.

wantyou2wantme		2010-05-19 01:47:58 PM

coolbeans56: Red line is the Death Line

Green Line is the Soul Train

Yellow Line... ~~Why even Bother? It has only two of its own Stations?~~ Jumps the Potomac and knocks a good 20 minutes off my commute while also avoiding the Rosslyn/Clarendon residents.

Orange and Blue Lines: Half White, Half Black, Heaven forbid you show up on the wrong side.

The Fabled Silver Line: By the time we get it to Dulles, the rest of the system will be destroyed.