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(Breitbart.com)   New Zealand's Prime Minister jokes that native tribe might eat him for dinner. Tribe leader says joke was in bad taste   (breitbart.com) divider line 53
    More: Amusing  
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2737 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2010 at 7:01 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-05-14 12:42:31 AM  
is unimpressed

Some choice quotes (lazily stolen from Listverse, but he has a whole raft of 'em I could have used)

1. China State Visit, 1986

If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed.

2. To a blind women with a guide

"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"

3. To an Aborigine in Australia

"Do you still throw spears at each other?"

4. To his wife, the Queen, after her coronation

"Where did you get the hat?"

5. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union

"The bastards murdered half my family"

6. To a Briton in Budapest

"You can't have been here that long - you haven't got a pot belly."

7. To a driving instructor in Scotland

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"

8. After the Dunblane shooting

"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"

9. To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea

"You managed not to get eaten, then?"

10. To Elton John after hearing Elton had sold his Gold Aston Martin

"Oh, it's you that owns that ghastly car - we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle."

11. On the London Traffic Debate

"The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion."

12. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes

"You look like you're ready for bed!"

13. Unknown

"If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!"

14. On key problems facing Brazil

"Brazilians live there"

15. To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean

"You have mosquitos. I have the Press"
 
2010-05-14 12:43:09 AM  
There was a picture of rince Philip in the previous post, but fark ate it.
 
2010-05-14 06:22:21 AM  
Needs garlic...
 
2010-05-14 06:32:37 AM  
Sounds like Toronto's former Mayor Mel has moved to New Zealand...

"What the hell would I want to go to a place like Mombasa for? Snakes just scare the hell out of me. I'm sort of scared about going but the wife is really nervous. I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me."

-Mel Lastman, June 2001
 
2010-05-14 07:06:09 AM  
FTA: "Well the first thing to say is, it's probably correct, and the second thing is (it's) probably not wise in the current climate," said Te Ururoa Flavell.

Remind me not to start a fight with any Maori until I've hidden all the steak sauce.
 
2010-05-14 07:11:34 AM  
FTFA:

- New Zealand PM roasted over cannibalism joke.

- New Zealand Prime Minister John Key found himself in hot water.

Nice to see that AFP just ran with the joke.
 
2010-05-14 07:20:26 AM  
And they didn't laugh? Tough crowd, but he should have tried to be more tender about the subject. They'll be plenty of time to chew the fat on this faux pas later, but I'm sure his intentions were Puree. Still, he's a seasoned politician, so he'll probably Entréet them to forgive him before the scandal bites into his poll numbers.
 
2010-05-14 07:21:59 AM  
They'll/There will

you know what I mean.
 
2010-05-14 07:23:36 AM  
img532.imageshack.us

Which means I get to post this.
 
2010-05-14 07:27:45 AM  
Sing with me, folks... "that's a Maori!"
 
2010-05-14 07:37:13 AM  
Approves:

folksong.org.nz

/Obscure, even by Fark standards
 
2010-05-14 07:40:16 AM  
John Key is an absolute, no holds barred, shiat gobbling farking douche and our country may yet be well worse for having experienced his existence.

That said, anyone who takes offense to this kind of comment needs to get over themselves.
 
2010-05-14 07:44:18 AM  
gopher321: Sounds like Toronto's former Mayor Mel has moved to New Zealand...

"What the hell would I want to go to a place like Mombasa for? Snakes just scare the hell out of me. I'm sort of scared about going but the wife is really nervous. I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me."

-Mel Lastman, June 2001


I came here to post this.
/Lastman is now looking better than Miller, daaaamn.
 
2010-05-14 07:46:51 AM  
So he's in trouble for the cannibal joke, yet the article headline says he's being 'roasted' for the joke and the first paragraph refers to him as 'being in hot water'. I wonder if that was on purpose, or if the writer just missed the whole connection.
 
2010-05-14 07:50:04 AM  
LucklessWonder: There was a picture of rince Philip in the previous post, but fark ate it.

Fark also ate your P.

:P
 
2010-05-14 07:53:34 AM  
gopher321: Sounds like Toronto's former Mayor Mel has moved to New Zealand...

"What the hell would I want to go to a place like Mombasa for? Snakes just scare the hell out of me. I'm sort of scared about going but the wife is really nervous. I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me."

-Mel Lastman, June 2001


Except that, to my knowledge, Mombasa doesn't have a history of cannibalism: Lastman's comment is based on a ridiculous stereotype of "natives" as cannibals dancing around a pot. Miller is talking about a specific culture that DID practice cannibalism until fairly recently (1800s), and proudly - what do you think that whole sticking-the-tongue-out thing symbolises? Look at the quote from the offended tribal leader I posted above, where he basically repeats the joke ("Yeah, we would eat that jackass if he showed up around here").

So no, your Canadian still holds his asshat crown.
 
2010-05-14 07:55:17 AM  
I thought Brian was Prime Minister! New Zealanders, everyone knows they're unhygenic and descended from criminals and retarded monkeys.
 
2010-05-14 07:57:37 AM  
The irony is the PM had his own foot in his mouth.
 
2010-05-14 07:58:59 AM  
Murray unavailable for comment.

static.tvfanatic.com
 
2010-05-14 08:04:08 AM  
Porrick: So no, your Canadian still holds his asshat crown.

To be fair to Lastman, he was well down the road to senility at that point. His last years in office, his handlers didn't let him get out much.

The real morons are the ones who kept electing him.
 
2010-05-14 08:14:05 AM  
How much you want to bet that Kiwi Prime Minister tastes like ass?
 
2010-05-14 08:35:18 AM  
Now I'm hungry for prime rib.
 
2010-05-14 08:39:50 AM  
Porrick: FTA: "Well the first thing to say is, it's probably correct, and the second thing is (it's) probably not wise in the current climate," said Te Ururoa Flavell.

Remind me not to start a fight with any Maori until I've hidden all the steak sauce.


Even if you were Evander Holyfield, I still wouldn't recommend picking a fight with a Maori. There's a reason the Brits had to sign a treaty...

/Half Maori
//Got dudded on the size genes though
 
2010-05-14 08:50:57 AM  
Read The Sex Lives of Cannibals if you get the chance. entertaining and kind of informative.
 
2010-05-14 08:53:27 AM  
Chronomorte: So he's in trouble for the cannibal joke, yet the article headline says he's being 'roasted' for the joke and the first paragraph refers to him as 'being in hot water'. I wonder if that was on purpose, or if the writer just missed the whole connection.

Yes, the article was seasoned with puns.
 
2010-05-14 08:55:29 AM  
vudukungfu: The irony is the PM had his own foot in his mouth.

4.bp.blogspot.com

/img is warm, moist, salty
 
2010-05-14 08:58:17 AM  
SJKebab: //Got dudded on the size genes though

www.sportcartoons.co.uk

Didn't get dudded on the size genes
 
2010-05-14 09:21:06 AM  
how do we even know he was the prime minister? did anyone see a business card? was he escorted by a body guard with new zealand's gun?
 
2010-05-14 09:22:20 AM  
Is it just me or does this clown tatse funny?

\\first thing I thought of
 
2010-05-14 09:27:10 AM  
bigjerm: how do we even know he was the prime minister?

He was only divisible by one and himself.
 
2010-05-14 09:34:07 AM  
LucklessWonder: [Prince Philip] is unimpressed

13. Unknown
"If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!"



I LOL'd. It's like he channels Groucho Marx.
 
2010-05-14 09:35:07 AM  
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: bigjerm: how do we even know he was the prime minister?

He was only divisible by one and himself.



**Applause**
 
2010-05-14 09:36:58 AM  
Maneck: To be fair to Lastman, he was well down the road to senility at that point. His last years in office, his handlers didn't let him get out much.

The real morons are the ones who kept electing him.


I guess I buy that. Besides, any asshat crown not sitting on the head of Silvio Berlusconi is a fake. Nobody else comes close.
 
2010-05-14 09:37:24 AM  
drpance: Murray unavailable for comment.

Perhaps we could get Gary the sheep on damage control? The people love him.
 
2010-05-14 09:47:18 AM  
CAN-A-BOWL SOUP: We deliver a 100% natural hearty flavor!

Our original recipe has been handed down threw the family for over 200 years. Our mission marries the best imported ingredients with native know how.

Visit our open house cannery or make a reservation for one of our authentic in house barbecues. They are simply head and shoulders above the rest. We also serve Chinese, Mexican and Italian dishes too.

We are proud to be part of the recycling team.
 
2010-05-14 09:58:11 AM  
Eat a politician????

Are you nuts?

Politicians are awfully greasy. Come on! Keep in mind of your triglyceride and cholestrol levels, for Pete's sake.

Besides that, the taste of the meat is tainted. What pol isn't full of crap? You need a bucket of BBQ sauce to hide that from your palate. I prefer a Carolina Bone Suckin' Sauce, myself.
 
2010-05-14 10:04:24 AM  
NickDanger3i:
Besides that, the taste of the meat is tainted. What pol isn't full of crap? You need a bucket of BBQ sauce to hide that from your palate. I prefer a Carolina Bone Suckin' Sauce, myself.


Uh-huh.
 
2010-05-14 10:20:22 AM  
NickDanger3i: Eat a politician????

Are you nuts?

Politicians are awfully greasy.


It's not taste or nutrition that keeps us from eating politician brain--it's the price, which is like $600 a pound.

Do you know how many of those bastards you have to kill to find a pound of brains?
 
2010-05-14 10:25:11 AM  
New Zealand Prime Minister has huge Kiwis!
 
2010-05-14 10:37:07 AM  
tastes like chicken?
 
2010-05-14 10:48:13 AM  
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros:

It's not taste or nutrition that keeps us from eating politician brain--it's the price, which is like $600 a pound.

Do you know how many of those bastards you have to kill to find a pound of brains?



Reminds me of something my poor, old granny used to say to me, "The more, the merrier!"

Now, who can argue with that?
 
2010-05-14 10:56:17 AM  
LucklessWonder: is unimpressed


"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"



I want this guy as our President!!!! And, Fark'em if the world can't take a joke. We still have boatloads of nuclear tipped missiles in which to roast them. Of course, I imagine they would taste a lot better over a slow, hickory fire than a flash fry in the microwave.
 
2010-05-14 10:59:52 AM  
Regnad Kcin: NickDanger3i:
Besides that, the taste of the meat is tainted. What pol isn't full of crap? You need a bucket of BBQ sauce to hide that from your palate. I prefer a Carolina Bone Suckin' Sauce, myself.

Uh-huh.



Oh, why don't you go back reading your name etched in the glass of your office door.
 
2010-05-14 11:12:24 AM  
I thought it was hilarious.
 
2010-05-14 11:27:41 AM  
Thanks, needed that laugh, subby!
 
2010-05-14 11:51:22 AM  
Approves:

www.topnews.in

/hot like mordor
 
2010-05-14 12:27:10 PM  
Im a maori, so Im getting a kick etc....

This guy is a pratt, but it is a tradition to eat people who REALLY piss you off.
just ask this guy...

www.australianhistory.org

Apparently I DO have some french blood in my family, and it tasted really good.
 
2010-05-14 12:32:47 PM  
NickDanger3i:
Oh, why don't you go back reading your name etched in the glass of your office door.


Wait a minute! Who are you? I was here first, you impostor! Take that!
 
2010-05-14 12:51:52 PM  
Slartibartfaster: Apparently I DO have some french blood in my family, and it tasted really good.

Hats off to you, sir! I always wondered what the big deal with French cuisine was. I guess we were just doing it wrong!
 
2010-05-14 02:55:47 PM  
Yam Javelin

www.uniju.com


Why yes, they do taste funny.
 
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