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(The New York Times)   Woman lives with snake permanently embedded in her stomach, till it gets hungry   (nytimes.com) divider line 105
    More: Scary, snakes, bears  
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26172 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2010 at 2:14 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-05-07 02:51:08 PM
southaustin: /your high horse, come down off it

The stick up your butt, remove it.
 
2010-05-07 02:52:48 PM
Came for Theadoric, Barber of York. Leaving satisfied.

/but, I'm bleeding already
/Now now, who's the barber here?
 
2010-05-07 02:54:13 PM
nostratic: A snake in the belly is better than two centipedes surgically affixed to one's mouth and anus.

Centipedes? Affixed to my anus?
 
2010-05-07 02:54:27 PM
Flab
demanton: Published: July 10, 1864

That explains the weird sentence syntax. At first, I thought it was some Google-Translated Indian or Chinese story.


I was thinking it might be a riddle or something.
 
2010-05-07 02:57:54 PM
She swallowed a cat to catch the snake. She swallowed the snake to catch a rat.

/etc...
 
2010-05-07 02:59:54 PM
bump: Physicians can see no way in which the snake can be removed without certain death to the woman. Mrs. EVERS is about 35 years of age. She is, of course, feeble in health now, but is around the house.

35 was considered 'feeble'???


I believe average life span at the time was around 40 or 50.
 
2010-05-07 03:02:02 PM
This article brought to you by Websters.

You need $5 words? Websters' got em.
 
2010-05-07 03:02:47 PM
OlafTheBent: She's a Goa'uld

/Call Daniel Jackson


That didn't take long LOL
 
2010-05-07 03:03:20 PM
How the heck did the submitter stumble upon this ancient Gem?
 
2010-05-07 03:03:36 PM
I stand corrected. It's just from the mid 19th century.

Carry on... old news that surely passes scientific rigor.
 
2010-05-07 03:05:28 PM
maybe she just needs a sea-snake section
 
2010-05-07 03:06:56 PM
bump: Physicians can see no way in which the snake can be removed without certain death to the woman. Mrs. EVERS is about 35 years of age. She is, of course, feeble in health now, but is around the house.

35 was considered 'feeble'???


I am pretty sure that she is "of course feeble" because of her ensaked condition, not because of the ripe old age of 35.
 
2010-05-07 03:07:38 PM
Duh she's feeble in health because there's a "snake" in her stomach and the smell of food makes her choke. How spry would you be with an abdominal tumor or enormous tapeworm?
 
2010-05-07 03:09:22 PM
Space_Poet: I had no idea how old this story was when I submitted it, thought it was a little oddly worded. Anyway, I thought it would be a great headline/pic competition, per the reason voting is enabled.

Really. And the wife laughed at me the other day for using "...a fortnight hence, why?" when she asked me when mother's day was going to be.
 
2010-05-07 03:11:38 PM
nostratic: A snake in the belly is better than two centipedes surgically affixed to one's mouth and anus.

/Or so Roger Ebert says.


Just watched the Human Centipede two days ago....strange movie to say the least.
 
2010-05-07 03:12:56 PM
See, at one time the NYT was just as bad as Faux. Well, atleast this story didn't cause people to hate each other.
 
2010-05-07 03:13:27 PM
Anyway, my clue was "The Lockport Journal tells the following horrible story.", i.e. the first damn sentence.
 
2010-05-07 03:14:35 PM
When I was little, I ate some watermelon seeds...and a WATERMELON grew in my STOMACH!
 
2010-05-07 03:15:16 PM
SearchN: Flab: How can a snake survive in someone's stomach? I'm swimming in hydrochloric acid... yay!

THIS.

That thing wouldn't last more then a few hours, let alone not dying from lack of air.


Came here to say that myself.
 
2010-05-07 03:16:51 PM
bump: 35 was considered 'feeble'???

I believe her feeble state had more to do with the mother-farking snake in her stomach than her age.
 
2010-05-07 03:17:50 PM
One would have thought this would be the big news on July 10, 1864

Monocacy
Civil War Maryland
American Civil War
July 9, 1864

Jubal's Raid: General Early's Famous Attack on Washington in 1864
General Grant was hammering at the gates of Richmond and the Confederacy seemed doomed. In a bold and desperate stroke, General Lee countered by sending General. Early and a force of only twelve thousand men toward Washington, D.C.
After marching north through the Shenandoah Valley from Lynchburg, the Confederate army of Lieutenant General Jubal A. Early side-stepped the Federal garrison at Harpers Ferry and crossed the Potomac River at Shepherdstown into Maryland on July 5-6.

On July 9, 1864, a makeshift Union force under Major General Lew Wallace attempted to arrest Early's invading Confederate divisions along the Monocacy River, just east of Frederick.

Wallace, joined by Ricketts's Division of the VI Corps that had been rushed from the Petersburg lines, was outflanked by Gordon's Division and defeated after putting up a stiff resistance.

Hearing of Early's incursion into Maryland, Grant embarked the rest of the VI Corps on transports at City Point, sending it with all dispatch to Washington.

Wallace's defeat at Monocacy bought time for these veteran troops to arrive to bolster the defenses of Washington.

Early's advance reached the outskirts of Washington on the afternoon of July 11, and the remaining divisions of the VI Corps began disembarking that evening.

Monocacy was called the "Battle that Saved Washington."

Result(s): Confederate victory
Location: Frederick County

Campaign: Early's Raid and Operations against the B&O Railroad (June-August 1864) next battle in campaign Campaigns

Date(s): July 9, 1864

Principal Commanders: Major General Lew Wallace [US]; Lieutenant General Jubal A. Early [CS]

Forces Engaged: Corps

Estimated Casualties: 2,359 total
 
2010-05-07 03:19:41 PM
I proscribe leeches and cocaine.
 
2010-05-07 03:25:37 PM
Oh_Enough_Already: Original Subby.

Okay...does anyone else think his face is crooked? Something about the mouth seems awry.

As for "snake" lady. Sounds like that was a powerful big tapeworm. Too bad no notes from an autopsy survive.

/sorry, adderall binge makes me loopy
/finals
 
2010-05-07 03:27:38 PM
www.headinjurytheater.com

Leroy Gomm wanted for questioning.

And that better damn well NOT be obscure.
 
2010-05-07 03:30:56 PM
metametameta: I proscribe leeches and cocaine.

Fark that. Can you imagine leeches that are high on cocaine? You wouldn't be able to shut those buggers up.
 
2010-05-07 03:32:15 PM
blazemongr: nostratic: A snake in the belly is better than two centipedes surgically affixed to one's mouth and anus.

Centipedes? Affixed to my anus?


It's more likely than you think.
 
2010-05-07 03:32:49 PM
she jsut needed some nexium.


seriously though, in 1864 people believed that a woman gave birth to kittens.
 
2010-05-07 03:37:17 PM
img689.imageshack.us
 
2010-05-07 03:44:15 PM
BlorfMaster: she jsut needed some nexium.

seriously though, in 1864 people believed that a woman gave birth to kittens rabbits (new window).


FTFY.
 
2010-05-07 03:45:20 PM
How the hell did we survive until now?
 
2010-05-07 03:48:00 PM
AusNord: OlafTheBent: She's a Goa'uld

/Call Daniel Jackson

Actually she's a Jaffa. The snake would be the Goa'uld :p



Looks like the work of Apophis imo
 
2010-05-07 03:55:00 PM
lunchinlewis: SNAKES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY

Neither do EELS (^)
 
2010-05-07 04:04:23 PM
This guy can help you with your internal reptile problems:
onetinyspark.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-05-07 04:05:03 PM
Space_Poet: I had

Now long ago did you join Fark? I knew the mods were slow but really, 1864 slow? W.T.F?
 
2010-05-07 04:25:28 PM
fisker


that looks naughty. Is it naughty? I like naughty.
 
2010-05-07 04:32:21 PM
A little disappointed no one has yet made a comment about having a snake in their pants.
 
2010-05-07 04:36:10 PM
oper8n: A little disappointed no one has yet made a comment about having a snake in their pants.

I was a split second away from doing a GIS for Trouser Snake at work so you could leave satisfied, I quickly came to my senses however.

Here's a photo of Anne Frank Zappa instead.

garyc.me
 
2010-05-07 04:46:21 PM
Dirtybird971: fisker


that looks naughty. Is it naughty? I like naughty.


It's horrifying, and surprisingly very well made.
 
2010-05-07 04:53:42 PM
lukelightning: This guy can help you with your internal reptile problems:

not quite the right direction. the way to hell is... RIGHT HERE!
 
2010-05-07 05:06:41 PM
Al_Ed: Could've been worse...could've been an eel up the ass.

Took the words right out of my mouth...
 
2010-05-07 05:18:16 PM
fisker: Dirtybird971: fisker


that looks naughty. Is it naughty? I like naughty.

It's horrifying, and surprisingly very well made.


Yeah but I read there's no real nudity in it. What's the farking point then?

Prudish depravity bores me.
 
2010-05-07 05:29:07 PM
She was probably unmarried and pregnant and made up the story so people would not look down on her spinster butt.
 
2010-05-07 05:48:41 PM
April fools was back in April.
 
2010-05-07 06:20:18 PM
Published: July 10, 1864

Damn...that's old, even by fark standards.
 
2010-05-07 06:38:16 PM
In this thread we get to see which Farkers have never in their lives bothered to read a single thing written before 1900.
 
2010-05-07 07:00:04 PM
BigLuca: metametameta: I proscribe leeches and cocaine.

Fark that. Can you imagine leeches that are high on cocaine? You wouldn't be able to shut those buggers up.


Having partied with Wall Street laywers I can say that you are correct.

/*rimshot*
 
2010-05-07 08:57:45 PM
i can't believe that neither the article nor a single person here has even hinted at the question of how a live snake could be swallowed.
 
2010-05-07 09:16:19 PM
bigpapadavid: i can't believe that neither the article nor a single person here has even hinted at the question of how a live snake could be swallowed.

--

Well lets see, the damn thing is supposedly living inside this woman, so oh I don't know maybe she cut of it's head and it magically came alive again in her stomach after she ate it? That's just as plausible as the article.
 
2010-05-07 09:48:14 PM
not snake, baby alien chest burster.

not effing baby, effing daddy!
 
2010-05-07 10:01:25 PM
Merkin Muffley: 1864?

my thoughts exactly
 
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