Rembrant_Q_Einstein: I love a two lane highway in Florida. In the left lane, the reds are doing 90 and in the right lane the geezes are doing 35. Perfect system!

That's how it's suppose to be - either course is acceptable - it's the retards who want to drive 55 in the left lane, and the maniacs who insist that those in the right lane drive 90 too that screw everything up for everybody else.

joggers aren't vehicles.

\tmyk

I hate Schmohawks

Weaver95: Bomb Head Mohammed: in other news, the guy who wrote the article is clearly a bit of a nutter, but he's right on one point: a 'bounty' system would work to ensure a more fair and consistent application of minor laws and would quickly lead to some of the more ridiculous or ridiculously overpunished laws being fixed.

A 'bounty system' would be a horrible idea. it would be like taking the worst excesses of a local housing association and putting it on the roads.

Has South Park ever tackled this issue? I think the last thing we need is yet another episode where Cartman somehow wields unchecked power uncontrollably.

prjindigo: "slower vehicles keep right"

like tractors, six axle dump trucks, bicyclists and joggers.

The left lane must obey the same speed limit as the right lane, vehicles traveling over 15mph under the posted speed limit must use the right lane.

You may not, at any time or for any reason, exceed the posted speed limit on any road. Not even if you're the last farking heart surgeon on the planet and TWO active presidents are waiting at the hospital with bad valves.

I couldn't give a shiat less if your child was on fire, the dog ate a live grenade or jesus told you you could drive fsst.. you WILL NOT DO IT or you will face the consequences.

When people try to pass me on two lane roads with marked no passing zones they find a couple ready options: the ditch or back off. I drive a couple over the posted and by god my lane belongs to me.

Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

If you pass a vehicle on the left that has its left turn signal on you have committed a felony.
If you pass a vehicle already above the posted speed limit you have committed a felony.
If you pass in a no passing zone you have committed a felony.

You are driving a deadly weapon and any law you break while doing so in Florida becomes a felony.

You have a very poor grip on reality.

As far as the "ditch or back off" thing... you'd better stay out of NY and stay off the road when I'm in FL. Don't bully with the vehicle unless you're prepared to make contact.

I'm totally speechless. I can't even come up with words that fully express how terrified of this level of stupidity I truly am. I'm sure this guy can feed and clothe himself, and probably even has held a job for decades. The people around him who are his friends and family probably think he's just like them. He's the most dangerous kind of stupid:

SECRET STUPID.

You don't see it until it's much, much too late. They're out there--they look like you and me and Governors of Alaska and stuff.

I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

ElMariachi:

/new Golf 5-speed came with cruise control
//still trying to figure that one out


My 6-speed manual has speed control and I use it all the time.
So what?

/just drove 900 miles in the last 2 days - 90% on cruise control
/what, couldn't afford the GTI?

One day, his left lane driving at posted speeds will catch up to him...in the form of a very pissed-off road rager packing heat.

Purposefully doing something on the roads to piss people off is NOT, I repeat, NOT a good idea. Unless you want to get shot at or beaten, then, by all means...have at it.

stebain: DrMcNinja: I demand mandatory jail time for those who don't signal when changing lanes

Even worse, people who signal late. "This is what I intend to do" is what the signal is for, not "Hey, in case you didn't notice I'm now halfway in your lane".

After a few years driving around New York City, I understand that the turn signal is supposed to mean "I'm switching lanes right now, whether you are in the way or not." Am I mistaken? I tend to get really dirty looks, middle fingers, and honked at when I do this anywhere outside the city.

prjindigo: I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

ElMariachi: I knew he was a twatwaffle when I saw "I set my Cruise Control."

I mean, I don't object to it in every case - on a long, boring roadtrip it can save your right foot some cramping, but people who rely on cruise control to drive everywhere probably shouldn't be driving.

/new Golf 5-speed came with cruise control
//still trying to figure that one out

I drive a 5-speed manual and I love my cruise control on my highway commute. Every time that I have to look down at my spedometer to check my speed, that's a split second that my eyes are taken off the road. If I can avoid that, it makes me a safer driver.

Setting it at the speed limit (and staying right when I can because I'm not a douchebag) means I'm also one of the few people who doesn't feel the need to compulsively stomp on the brake pedal when they spot a police car, because I KNOW how fast I'm going and that it's legal. I've seen people going 10 under the limit do the cop-brake because, frankly, they have no idea how fast they are going at any given time.

And, finally, not using cruise control is the leading cause of that type of driver who feels the need to pass me, get in front, and then slow down 10 mph because she can't manage to maintain a consistent speed. Makes me want to pull those people over and have cruise control installed in their cars at gunpoint rather than follow them for 20 miles having them pass me, slow down, force me to pass, then pass me, slow down, force me to pass....

Starryeyes: If someone tails you, let them pass you,

then tail them and see how they like it.

It was either Bill Cosby or George Carlin, I think, that had one of the best ideas for stupid drivers. Everyone should be issued a marking gun, either with paintballs or rubber cups. When a vehicle gets loaded with enough markers from other drivers, the cops arrest the driver, shoot all the occupants, burn the vehicle, raze all property owned, and salt the earth.

1) if you are not in the process of passing someone or within a few car lengths of doing so then you should be in the right lane. this rule applies irrespective of the speed you are travelling.

2) people who don't move over do so because being passed makes them feel inferior. this complex is largely due to their small penises.

BigChad: ElMariachi:

/new Golf 5-speed came with cruise control
//still trying to figure that one out


My 6-speed manual has speed control and I use it all the time.
So what?

/just drove 900 miles in the last 2 days - 90% on cruise control
/what, couldn't afford the GTI?

My dad actually bought the new Golf, not me. I bought his old Golf from him. But I do drive the new one from time to time. I did try to convince him to spring for the GTI, but he wanted the base model.

Just weird to see a cruise control in a manual car. I'd never seen that before, honestly. I understand how it works, it turns off when you hit the clutch OR brake. I'm really curious to see what happens if I clutchless shift with cruise control on. But I'm afraid to try.

I don't understand why the new Golf needs a big, heavy 5-cylinder 2.5L engine. The 2.0 is a much more efficient engine that can exceed the power of a the 2.5 if you just throw a turbo on it.

kruppz 2010-05-04 12:19:05 PM

Starryeyes: If someone tails you, let them pass you,

then tail them and see how they like it.



If someone is "tailing you", it means you should let them pass. They won't care about you behind them because they will have accelerated quickly past you. Unless, of course, you speed up to stay on their tail. In which case, why didn't you go that fast to begin with?

I'm pretty sure this is a farker. Just look at the grace and speed in which he gets everyone all worked up. Really, a grade A piece of trolling, Mr Gentry I salute you! But never move to NJ, you'll be killed for driving like that here.

Satanicpuppy: There are Republicans everywhere.

Usually in the left hand lane doing the speed limit.

Weaver95: fatimcgee: One day, his left lane driving at posted speeds will catch up to him...in the form of a very pissed-off road rager packing heat.

Purposefully doing something on the roads to piss people off is NOT, I repeat, NOT a good idea. Unless you want to get shot at or beaten, then, by all means...have at it.

actually, it's far more likely that a state cop will pull him over and throw the book at him.

I'd hope so. But the old milkshake (I assume) does have a point: there's too many reckless speeders for cops to focus in on. Oh, and minorities. It's pretty much OK to do 10 over if you're white, Well, at least in Detroit, it is.

\Road Rage is a REAL problem here in the D lately
\\I also haven't seen a State Police cruiser in...months. Literally.

prjindigo: "slower vehicles keep right"

like tractors, six axle dump trucks, bicyclists and joggers.

The left lane must obey the same speed limit as the right lane, vehicles traveling over 15mph under the posted speed limit must use the right lane.

You may not, at any time or for any reason, exceed the posted speed limit on any road. Not even if you're the last farking heart surgeon on the planet and TWO active presidents are waiting at the hospital with bad valves.

I couldn't give a shiat less if your child was on fire, the dog ate a live grenade or jesus told you you could drive fsst.. you WILL NOT DO IT or you will face the consequences.

When people try to pass me on two lane roads with marked no passing zones they find a couple ready options: the ditch or back off. I drive a couple over the posted and by god my lane belongs to me.

Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

If you pass a vehicle on the left that has its left turn signal on you have committed a felony.
If you pass a vehicle already above the posted speed limit you have committed a felony.
If you pass in a no passing zone you have committed a felony.

You are driving a deadly weapon and any law you break while doing so in Florida becomes a felony.

It's also a crime (and by your description a felony) to demand right of way and cause a dangerous situation even if you have the right of way. Pull that kind of shiat with me and I'll make sure our vehicles make contact and see you hauled off in handcuffs.

Passive/aggressive assholes like you always assume the other driver is the same kind of pussy you are and will automatically evade you. That works fine until you come up against someone like me that'll call you on your bullshiat.

OwnTheRide: As far as the "ditch or back off" thing... you'd better stay out of NY and stay off the road when I'm in FL. Don't bully with the vehicle unless you're prepared to make contact.

yeah. the great thing about driving a beater is that the other person usually has much more to lose in a fender bender.

december: 2) people who don't move over do so because being passed makes them feel inferior. this complex is largely due to their small penises.

So. Much. This.

Wrong_Intentions: Old person sounds old.

And self-righteous.

Done in one.

prjindigo: "slower vehicles keep right"

like tractors, six axle dump trucks, bicyclists and joggers.

The left lane must obey the same speed limit as the right lane, vehicles traveling over 15mph under the posted speed limit must use the right lane.

You may not, at any time or for any reason, exceed the posted speed limit on any road. Not even if you're the last farking heart surgeon on the planet and TWO active presidents are waiting at the hospital with bad valves.

I couldn't give a shiat less if your child was on fire, the dog ate a live grenade or jesus told you you could drive fsst.. you WILL NOT DO IT or you will face the consequences.

When people try to pass me on two lane roads with marked no passing zones they find a couple ready options: the ditch or back off. I drive a couple over the posted and by god my lane belongs to me.

Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

If you pass a vehicle on the left that has its left turn signal on you have committed a felony.
If you pass a vehicle already above the posted speed limit you have committed a felony.
If you pass in a no passing zone you have committed a felony.

You are driving a deadly weapon and any law you break while doing so in Florida becomes a felony.

Wow, we need to start a charity that pays you to talk to "Special" people, to help them feel smarter...

I just want a force field installed that will fling all vehicles within 20 feet of my car away. That way I can drive as fast as I want and not hit anyone because all the other cars will be stuck in trees or ditches or houses.

Sure, it would make me an incredible asshole and most likely a mass murderer, but I'd get to work on time.

Oh and all pedestrians within 30 feet and all cyclists within a half mile.

Don't blame the brother if he doesn't like the faster drivers...

Just let me ticket the douchebags that flip cigarette butts out the window for littering.

/former smoker
//never threw butts out the window

cherryl taggart Quote 2010-05-04 12:19:13 PM
It was either Bill Cosby or George Carlin, I think, that had one of the best ideas for stupid drivers. Everyone should be issued a marking gun, either with paintballs or rubber cups. When a vehicle gets loaded with enough markers from other drivers, the cops arrest the driver, shoot all the occupants, burn the vehicle, raze all property owned, and salt the earth.

Sounds like Carlin to me.

FTFA:

"in just one minute, we could have earned $1,200 for ourselves and $1,200 to augment the tax base"

So you don't have the right to go to court in Florida? Either that or this guy doesn't think his time would be required in court for writing the tickets. Or he doesn't mind living at the courthouse.

Starryeyes: If someone wants to pass you, let them pass you, assuming there is sufficient space for you to move over to the right safely. If someone tails you, let them pass you, assuming there is sufficient space for you to move over to the right safely.

No. If you tailgate me you're being a douche and driving dangerously and your behavior will not be rewarded.

Bomb Head Mohammed:

in other news, the guy who wrote the article is clearly a bit of a nutter, but he's right on one point: a 'bounty' system would work to ensure a more fair and consistent application of minor laws and would quickly lead to some of the more ridiculous or ridiculously overpunished laws being fixed. Imagine if this guy's recommendation were into effect and he really was able to personally generate $2400 in traffic fines in under a minute in some verifiable way. in less than a week, the sums would become so kafkaesque that there would be little recourse but to retaionalize the speeding laws. ditto real estate tax assessment, parking violations, pot smoking, underage drinking, and the like.

I've always thought if there was a way to allow good drivers with zero points on their license to have the ability to call in an infraction and make it stick, road safety would increase. But you'd only be able to do it 3 times a year, and no "bounty" of any kind. Oh, and if you abuse it, YOU get 10x the fine.

When I see someone cut across 3 lanes of traffic and drive a mile on the shoulder while eating a cheeseburger and talking on a cellphone in a snowstorm at night, I'd love to have the ability to make him pay for putting me in danger.

We all drive just a teeny bit slower and pay more attention when a police car is around, think of how much safer the roads might be when the real maniacs worry that any car at any time could give them a citation.

Bomb Head Mohammed: in less than a week, the sums would become so kafkaesque that there would be little recourse but to retaionalize the speeding laws.

People keep arguing this, that ubiquitous enforcement of an unreasonable law will result in the law being relaxed, but does it ever really happen?

Seems to me, that it would just result in more people paying fines and going to jail. At least in the USA, it is about 100 times more difficult to get a law repealed than to pass it, because no politician wants to appear soft-on-whatever, so laws just stay on the books and people keep getting busted for it. This country is totally obsessed with making a law for every little thing, meaning that a vast majority of us are lawbreakers even if we don't know it. Any system that simply increases enforcement would just increase the number of criminals in the system and jam up the courts at the same time.

The only real good example of a bad law getting repealed as people saw the results of over-enforcement was Prohibition.

cheerist! this again!?!

No one shall impede on my FSM given right to endanger other people dammit!

DrMcNinja: I demand mandatory jail time for those who don't signal when changing lanes

You would have every cop in CA in jail.......

My cop friends say they won't ticket people for driving the speed limit in the fast lane. They'll flash the lights to get them out of the lane, but no ticket. Something about showing up in court and explaining why you gave a ticket to the one person obeying the speed limit.

My pet peeve is people who put their signal on after they get into the turn lane.
Yeah buddy, I know you want to make a left turn since you're in the left turn lane. What I didn't know is that you were going to jam on the brakes without notice to get into that lane.

ElMariachi:

I'm really curious to see what happens if I clutchless shift with cruise control on. But I'm afraid to try.



I've tried it, the cruise control turns off when the gears are shifted regardless if you use the clutch or not.

/was nervous trying it too
//I prefer last year's (2009) Rabbit/Golf to this year's (2010)
///people who drive slow in the left lane should be shot...repeatedly

Idea: blinking magnets that tag a vehicle and increment their "bad driver" number by one and activates a warning light on the top of your car. When you get hit with three, your engine is disabled for 48 hours. Everyone only gets one each per year.

Problem: solved.

el wharrrgarblo: Pretty much.

Ya George Bush and the religious right are liberals, aren't they.

brigid_fitch: New Yorkers have NO CLUE how to drive. I can't tell you how many times I have driven all over that stupid state, stuck behind a moron doing 65 in the fast lane. They've got a clear stretch of road in front of them but they don't speed up or move over. I don't get it. Do that here in NJ and you'd get killed.

This is so true, I actually live in NY now but I'm originally from MA, I always thought it was just the douchey new yorkers who come from the city and they just don't have that much experience driving when I used to see them in MA doing that but, nope, in NY they do the same thing.

We could work with the unemployment offices to provide commission type jobs for unemployed people - $100 to the state or county and $100 commission to the person submitting the proof of the infraction.

Let's try it in Arizona first.

not2bright: We all drive just a teeny bit slower and pay more attention when a police car is around, think of how much safer the roads might be when the real maniacs worry that any car at any time could give them a citation.

My favorite... the cop driving 64 in a 65, and no one has the balls to pass.

I go 70.

december:

2) people who don't move over do so because being passed makes them feel inferior. this complex is largely due to their small penises.

What do you mean? I let people pass me all the time.

not2bright: I've always thought if there was a way to allow good drivers with zero points on their license to have the ability to call in an infraction and make it stick, road safety would increase. But you'd only be able to do it 3 times a year, and no "bounty" of any kind. Oh, and if you abuse it, YOU get 10x the fine.

Hey hall monitor! You can already call the police and report anything to your heart's content. What you can't do is "make it stick" which is often code-word for "bypass the right to one's day in court any the right to face one's accuser". Any rule that lets some random person accuse AND "make it stick" is going to be abused and abused and abused.

I'd prefer to not have all these ridiculous nanny laws in the first place, but given that we have them, I'm relieved that, at least for now, a real live cop has to be there to enforce them. We don't need to give every nosy ninny in the country the power to start enforcing their favorite little pet law.

EvilEgg: Hey jerk author, you are breaking the law by hanging out in the right lane if you are not passing. So you have no right to be so smug.

No, you're not. No such "law" exists.