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(Jacksonville Daily News)   To the editor: I drive like a jerk and want the power to make money ticketing drivers who offend me. There oughta be a law   (jdnews.com) divider line 379
    More: Dumbass, editor, state troopers, speed limits, drivers  
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15803 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2010 at 11:40 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-05-04 11:50:40 AM
EighthundredmillionthFarker: Yeah, and people who don't give "thank you waves" need their wrists broken.

/Florida drivers suck balls


That's all I want. If you fark up, just wave.
 
2010-05-04 11:50:42 AM
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane While people behind me are going insane...

/not obscure
//shocked as hell no one else posted it.
 
2010-05-04 11:50:51 AM
Starryeyes: I submit that people should pay attention to their surroundings and drive responsibly and non-douchily.

I don't worry too much about speed limits. I stay out of the fast lane (except when i'm passing someone) and generally just keep to the same speed as everyone else around me. If we're all going 80mph, then I go 80mph. if we're going 60mph, then I go 60mph.

what always gets me is when i'm driving home at night, in the rain (or damn near whiteout snow conditions), in the slow lane...and a big rig trucker feels justified in riding 6 inches off my bumper and flashing his lights at me. Motherf*ckers like that can kiss my ass.
 
2010-05-04 11:51:06 AM
I happened to be in the left lane of U.S. 17, a four-lane road. I always set my cruise control to the posted speed limit.

You've got to be kidding me. And I drive the speed limit. That's just outright stupid.
 
2010-05-04 11:51:08 AM
BillCo: benlonghair: I hate people like this. This person is a hardcore authoritarian and wants all parts of his life controlled by signs and laws and anyone who does not want this to be fined or jailed.

In other words, a liberal.


That's beautiful 'cause it's true.
 
2010-05-04 11:51:25 AM
Just reading about this jerk going the posted speed limit in the left lane makes me feel VERY angry. GET OUT OF THE FARKIN' FAST LANE,AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
 
2010-05-04 11:52:24 AM
What's the over/under on this guy appearing in another Fark thread about a driver getting shot?
 
2010-05-04 11:52:32 AM
I live in a town with a lot of old people and college students. We have a population of about 100,000.

And every single one of them is the worst driver in the world.

Twice I have seen someone in the left hand turn lane at an intersection, where there is a big arrow on the ground pointing left, with a green arrow also pointing left, and I have seen morans turn RIGHT. TWICE!

Argh! Pisses me the hell off! Starting to feel some road rage! And I'm sitting at my desk at work!

i75.photobucket.com

/angry story, bro
 
2010-05-04 11:53:17 AM
Crotchety is the new cantankerous.

Fred, seriously, you suck. Stop trying to be the hall monitor; grade school's been over for 50 years.

It's not the Eisenhower administration anymore; people like you aren't viewed as helpful order-keepers anymore. They're seen as snitches. And they get stitches.
 
2010-05-04 11:53:33 AM
Fred Gentry: Congratulations, you are now candidate for biggest douche in the universe award!
 
2010-05-04 11:53:45 AM
Believe it or not, there really are d-bags like this all over. I knew a state trooper who told me about a guy he pulled over on the Mass Pike because he was going exactly the speed limit in the far left lane, with a line of cars behind him. The guy was such a self-righteous jerk the trooper threw the book at him -- writing him up for every pissy thing he could find, including the dangling tree air-freshener that was "impeding" the guy's view, as well as failing to keep right and a couple of other things (I think there might have been a defective equipment cite). The ticket held up in court, too. At least according to the trooper.
 
2010-05-04 11:54:17 AM
This guys a giant douche. I pass guys like this on the left shoulder in the grass if necessary. Fark you mother Farker, go change the world somewhere else, some of us have places we need to be that arent on the road.
 
2010-05-04 11:54:30 AM
An old person? Driving like an asshole? In Florida no less? I'm gonna assume this guy engages in some hardcore random braking as well.
 
2010-05-04 11:55:48 AM
Well, I guess he can always get himself a set of police uniforms and start enforcing the law the way he sees it...but that might turn out to be another Fark thread!
 
2010-05-04 11:56:03 AM
Staffist: Headso: No way that is real. I'm sure there are people out there who troll editorials like people on here troll fark.

sigdiamond2000: It's a troll. Absolutely no question about it.

Those.


Maybe. Maybe not. Dad had exactly that attitude for years. He was a lawyer, so he wouldn't support the "make it uncontestable" bit, but he thought it was perfectly fine to camp in the left lane at the speed limit, and kinda enjoyed it when other drivers got pissed.
 
2010-05-04 11:56:38 AM
Is it this guy? It's this guy isn't it?

media.timeoutnewyork.com
 
2010-05-04 11:56:46 AM
"slower vehicles keep right"

like tractors, six axle dump trucks, bicyclists and joggers.

The left lane must obey the same speed limit as the right lane, vehicles traveling over 15mph under the posted speed limit must use the right lane.

You may not, at any time or for any reason, exceed the posted speed limit on any road. Not even if you're the last farking heart surgeon on the planet and TWO active presidents are waiting at the hospital with bad valves.

I couldn't give a shiat less if your child was on fire, the dog ate a live grenade or jesus told you you could drive fsst.. you WILL NOT DO IT or you will face the consequences.

When people try to pass me on two lane roads with marked no passing zones they find a couple ready options: the ditch or back off. I drive a couple over the posted and by god my lane belongs to me.

Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

If you pass a vehicle on the left that has its left turn signal on you have committed a felony.
If you pass a vehicle already above the posted speed limit you have committed a felony.
If you pass in a no passing zone you have committed a felony.

You are driving a deadly weapon and any law you break while doing so in Florida becomes a felony.
 
2010-05-04 11:56:47 AM
BillCo: benlonghair: I hate people like this. This person is a hardcore authoritarian and wants all parts of his life controlled by signs and laws and anyone who does not want this to be fined or jailed.

In other words, a liberal.


There are two types of people:
People who agree with you
Liberals
 
2010-05-04 11:57:04 AM
If they would just go back to showing "Blood on the Highways" in Driver's Ed. this would all go away i time.
 
2010-05-04 11:57:35 AM
Im going 90 on the freeway 8)
 
2010-05-04 11:57:52 AM
DrMcNinja: I demand mandatory jail time for those who don't signal when changing lanes

I read in a news article that signaling for lane changes is not required by law in Maryland.


/explains a lot
 
2010-05-04 11:58:11 AM
I don't get guys like this - it seems like he goes looking for trouble, then complains when he finds it.
To me, the whole advantage of observing the limits and staying to the right is avoiding all the dick-wavers in the left lanes who think they can drive 80 or 90 safely. It's easy enough to stay out of their way - why provoke them?
 
2010-05-04 11:58:12 AM
Jungblood: An old person? Driving like an asshole? In Florida no less? I'm gonna assume this guy engages in some hardcore random braking as well.

Conn, sonar! Crazy Ivan!

/one ping only
 
2010-05-04 11:58:36 AM
Slower traffic keep right laws by state Link (new window)
 
2010-05-04 11:58:38 AM
You guys should see the comments section. People are lighting this guy up. lol
 
2010-05-04 11:58:42 AM
Weaver95: Today, alone, I observed one state trooper writing a citation to a speeder while many other drivers passed by him at speeds well over the posted speed limit. The state troopers and local law enforcement officers do their best, but in no way can they control these law breakers.

I wonder if this guy has a fark login?




I found it:


prjindigo: "slower vehicles keep right"

like tractors, six axle dump trucks, bicyclists and joggers.

The left lane must obey the same speed limit as the right lane, vehicles traveling over 15mph under the posted speed limit must use the right lane.

You may not, at any time or for any reason, exceed the posted speed limit on any road. Not even if you're the last farking heart surgeon on the planet and TWO active presidents are waiting at the hospital with bad valves.

I couldn't give a shiat less if your child was on fire, the dog ate a live grenade or jesus told you you could drive fsst.. you WILL NOT DO IT or you will face the consequences.

When people try to pass me on two lane roads with marked no passing zones they find a couple ready options: the ditch or back off. I drive a couple over the posted and by god my lane belongs to me.

Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

If you pass a vehicle on the left that has its left turn signal on you have committed a felony.
If you pass a vehicle already above the posted speed limit you have committed a felony.
If you pass in a no passing zone you have committed a felony.

You are driving a deadly weapon and any law you break while doing so in Florida becomes a felony.
 
2010-05-04 11:59:01 AM
Wrong_Intentions: and you're driving in MA, keep your 65 mph ass out of my fast lane, we call it that for a reason. I respect your roads in your state, please return the favor.

Haha, no kidding. Last time I was on the Mass Pike I was doing 77 in the middle lane of a 65, at night, and getting passed on both sides.
 
2010-05-04 11:59:23 AM
prjindigo: "slower vehicles keep right"

like tractors, six axle dump trucks, bicyclists and joggers.

The left lane must obey the same speed limit as the right lane, vehicles traveling over 15mph under the posted speed limit must use the right lane.

You may not, at any time or for any reason, exceed the posted speed limit on any road. Not even if you're the last farking heart surgeon on the planet and TWO active presidents are waiting at the hospital with bad valves.

I couldn't give a shiat less if your child was on fire, the dog ate a live grenade or jesus told you you could drive fsst.. you WILL NOT DO IT or you will face the consequences.

When people try to pass me on two lane roads with marked no passing zones they find a couple ready options: the ditch or back off. I drive a couple over the posted and by god my lane belongs to me.

Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

If you pass a vehicle on the left that has its left turn signal on you have committed a felony.
If you pass a vehicle already above the posted speed limit you have committed a felony.
If you pass in a no passing zone you have committed a felony.

You are driving a deadly weapon and any law you break while doing so in Florida becomes a felony.


Has to be a troll, or Fred found Fark?
 
2010-05-04 11:59:29 AM
 
2010-05-04 11:59:58 AM
prjindigo 2010-05-04 11:56:46 AM

"slower vehicles keep right"

like tractors, six axle dump trucks, bicyclists and joggers.

The left lane must obey the same speed limit as the right lane, vehicles traveling over 15mph under the posted speed limit must use the right lane.

You may not, at any time or for any reason, exceed the posted speed limit on any road. Not even if you're the last farking heart surgeon on the planet and TWO active presidents are waiting at the hospital with bad valves.

I couldn't give a shiat less if your child was on fire, the dog ate a live grenade or jesus told you you could drive fsst.. you WILL NOT DO IT or you will face the consequences.

When people try to pass me on two lane roads with marked no passing zones they find a couple ready options: the ditch or back off. I drive a couple over the posted and by god my lane belongs to me.

Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

If you pass a vehicle on the left that has its left turn signal on you have committed a felony.
If you pass a vehicle already above the posted speed limit you have committed a felony.
If you pass in a no passing zone you have committed a felony.

You are driving a deadly weapon and any law you break while doing so in Florida becomes a felony




I like this guy! He's funny!
 
2010-05-04 12:00:36 PM
I_Am_Weasel: The formula is pretty simple.

Someone driving slower than you: Jerk

Someone driving faster than you: Asshole.


My dad categorizes other drivers in 3 groups: cocksuckers, motherfarkers, and drivers. The first group are the ones that interfere with him. The second group are the ones that interfere with drivers ahead of him, and the third group is just a placeholder for people that let him pass them.
 
2010-05-04 12:00:44 PM
He pretty much got the beat down in the comments section of the news story.
 
2010-05-04 12:02:01 PM
smittyrn: He pretty much got the beat down in the comments section of the news story.

I wonder if he realizes that everyone in his local community now knows he's a jerk...? And thanks to the power of the internet - the entire world knows he's 'that guy', the guy we all hate to see while driving to work in the morning....
 
2010-05-04 12:02:16 PM
I love a two lane highway in Florida. In the left lane, the reds are doing 90 and in the right lane the geezes are doing 35. Perfect system!
 
2010-05-04 12:02:25 PM
This is how people get shot in traffic.

It is also why I do not carry a gun, the temptation would be too great for me.
 
2010-05-04 12:02:36 PM
I bet he comes to a complete stop at the start of merge lanes and waits until there is no on-coming traffic before merging.

That's the worst IMHO.
 
2010-05-04 12:03:18 PM
prjindigo: "slower vehicles keep right"

like tractors, six axle dump trucks, bicyclists and joggers.

The left lane must obey the same speed limit as the right lane, vehicles traveling over 15mph under the posted speed limit must use the right lane.

You may not, at any time or for any reason, exceed the posted speed limit on any road. Not even if you're the last farking heart surgeon on the planet and TWO active presidents are waiting at the hospital with bad valves.

I couldn't give a shiat less if your child was on fire, the dog ate a live grenade or jesus told you you could drive fsst.. you WILL NOT DO IT or you will face the consequences.

When people try to pass me on two lane roads with marked no passing zones they find a couple ready options: the ditch or back off. I drive a couple over the posted and by god my lane belongs to me.

Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

If you pass a vehicle on the left that has its left turn signal on you have committed a felony.
If you pass a vehicle already above the posted speed limit you have committed a felony.
If you pass in a no passing zone you have committed a felony.

You are driving a deadly weapon and any law you break while doing so in Florida becomes a felony.


Heh. I like you.
9/10.
 
2010-05-04 12:03:37 PM
DrMcNinja: I demand mandatory jail time for those who don't signal when changing lanes

Even worse, people who signal late. "This is what I intend to do" is what the signal is for, not "Hey, in case you didn't notice I'm now halfway in your lane".
 
2010-05-04 12:04:24 PM
udeng01: I bet he comes to a complete stop at the start of merge lanes and waits until there is no on-coming traffic before merging.

That's the worst IMHO.


if you get to the end of your merge lane and sit there, I think you should have your license suspended and forced to retake your drivers exam.
 
2010-05-04 12:05:06 PM
My mrs was having leg pains a couple days after her nephew close the door on her leg. The doctor said "get here NOW. If you have to get up on the sidewalk at a stoplight, do it."

It would have been lovely to be trapped behind "I know what's better for you".
 
2010-05-04 12:06:07 PM
stebain: My mrs was having leg pains a couple days after her nephew close the door on her leg. The doctor said "get here NOW. If you have to get up on the sidewalk at a stoplight, do it."

It would have been lovely to be trapped behind "I know what's better for you".


"Ramming Speed. . ."
 
2010-05-04 12:06:19 PM
I am sure it has been said, but it is amusing that he is self-righteous about speeders breaking the law, but ignores the fact that the left lane is a passing lane and he could be equally cited for using it as a travel lane to impede traffic.
 
2010-05-04 12:06:38 PM
udeng01: I bet he comes to a complete stop at the start of merge lanes and waits until there is no on-coming traffic before merging.

That's the worst IMHO.


I also rillyrilly hate people who stop in front of the white line. I don't mean a nose over... all the way over. We have a major intersection where the left lane is supposed to stop about 10 feet back from the other lanes, but people pull down to nose up with the others.
 
2010-05-04 12:06:42 PM
I knew he was a twatwaffle when I saw "I set my Cruise Control."

I mean, I don't object to it in every case - on a long, boring roadtrip it can save your right foot some cramping, but people who rely on cruise control to drive everywhere probably shouldn't be driving.

/new Golf 5-speed came with cruise control
//still trying to figure that one out
 
2010-05-04 12:07:32 PM
EWreckedSean: I am sure it has been said, but it is amusing that he is self-righteous about speeders breaking the law, but ignores the fact that the left lane is a passing lane and he could be equally cited for using it as a travel lane to impede traffic.

it's been my experience that authoritarian assholes are generally only authoritarian assholes only so long as they are enforcing the laws and not the target of strict legislation.
 
2010-05-04 12:07:34 PM
hi. i'm a fark liberal douchebag atheist who earns way more money than you do and yet doesn't have a car (really) and claims to not have a tv (though i do). me, my small penas, and my overinflated sense of self-worth snicker at the pathetic concerns of those who spend a good part of their year driving while i continue to tell myself that the fact that i have a 5 minute walking commute everyday compensates for the 200-300 hours per year i spend on an airplane.

in other news, the guy who wrote the article is clearly a bit of a nutter, but he's right on one point: a 'bounty' system would work to ensure a more fair and consistent application of minor laws and would quickly lead to some of the more ridiculous or ridiculously overpunished laws being fixed. Imagine if this guy's recommendation were into effect and he really was able to personally generate $2400 in traffic fines in under a minute in some verifiable way. in less than a week, the sums would become so kafkaesque that there would be little recourse but to retaionalize the speeding laws. ditto real estate tax assessment, parking violations, pot smoking, underage drinking, and the like.
 
2010-05-04 12:07:41 PM
prjindigo: Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

It'll be hilarious when someone rips your door and possibly your arm off when you do that and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it because you did the equivalent of willfully jumping out into traffic, the sort of reckless self-endangerment that precludes the other driver from being held responsible in many states.
 
2010-05-04 12:08:16 PM
prjindigo: "slower vehicles keep right"

like tractors, six axle dump trucks, bicyclists and joggers.

The left lane must obey the same speed limit as the right lane, vehicles traveling over 15mph under the posted speed limit must use the right lane.

You may not, at any time or for any reason, exceed the posted speed limit on any road. Not even if you're the last farking heart surgeon on the planet and TWO active presidents are waiting at the hospital with bad valves.

I couldn't give a shiat less if your child was on fire, the dog ate a live grenade or jesus told you you could drive fsst.. you WILL NOT DO IT or you will face the consequences.

When people try to pass me on two lane roads with marked no passing zones they find a couple ready options: the ditch or back off. I drive a couple over the posted and by god my lane belongs to me.

Worst group of morons are the ones who pull out around you and the garbage truck in front of you that's about to move. I swerve over and open the car door to yell "YOU DO NOT PASS ME" because I already have my left turn signal on.

If you pass a vehicle on the left that has its left turn signal on you have committed a felony.
If you pass a vehicle already above the posted speed limit you have committed a felony.
If you pass in a no passing zone you have committed a felony.

You are driving a deadly weapon and any law you break while doing so in Florida becomes a felony.


Damn, that's a good one. I give it an 8.5. The grenade swallowing dog made me lol.

udeng01: I bet he comes to a complete stop at the start of merge lanes and waits until there is no on-coming traffic before merging.

Oh god... I love in Northern Virginia and we have some of the worst traffic here. When I was trying to exit onto 95-S the car in front of me came to a complete stop because she couldn't merge. Everyone behind me is going insane and no one can drive around her because there's no shoulder. Thank FSM for a state trooper passing by because he slowed down, turned his lights on to get drivers behind him to go left, and allowed the woman in the lane... only to promptly pull her over in the shoulder.

Damn, so many cars hitting the gas at once, I'm surprised I didn't get my ass run over.

/Cool story, girl
 
2010-05-04 12:09:03 PM
ElMariachi: I mean, I don't object to it in every case - on a long, boring roadtrip it can save your right foot some cramping, but people who rely on cruise control to drive everywhere probably shouldn't be driving.

Cruise control is essential! How else am I going to stick my feet out the window?
 
2010-05-04 12:09:37 PM
Bomb Head Mohammed: in other news, the guy who wrote the article is clearly a bit of a nutter, but he's right on one point: a 'bounty' system would work to ensure a more fair and consistent application of minor laws and would quickly lead to some of the more ridiculous or ridiculously overpunished laws being fixed.

A 'bounty system' would be a horrible idea. it would be like taking the worst excesses of a local housing association and putting it on the roads.
 
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