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(DigitalMass) cuts jobs   ( divider line
    More: Ironic  
•       •       •

2151 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2001 at 12:00 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

40 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-10-02 03:45:20 PM  
2001-10-02 06:39:54 PM  
Hey, maybe it'll boost business...
2001-10-03 12:07:13 AM  
they sure do make a bunch of money. too bad they haven't found me a job.
2001-10-03 12:14:40 AM  
thats just plain funny.
2001-10-03 12:17:53 AM  
Great use of the ironic tag.

Still, tho, that ad with kids saying things like "When I grow up I wanna have a brown nose..." is probably the single funniest and most effective ad from the era of advertising.
2001-10-03 12:20:23 AM  
Yes...finally an APPROPRIATE use of the "ironic" tag.

Job-finding company lays off.
2001-10-03 12:30:37 AM  
i love the new economy.

key card doesn't work?
old economy- you should call building maintenance people to fix the keycard system.

new economy- you're fired.

cell phone doesn't work?
old economy- you should move around until you get some reception.

new economy- you're fired.

boss calls you into his office and tells you to close the door
old economy- you're fired

new economy- hey, man! your boss doesn't have a door! that's not groooovy enough. your boss has a beanbag chair and a playstation just like everybody else. oh, and you're fired.
2001-10-03 12:38:50 AM  
Meat...that is damn funny. I have been laid off twice in the last year - once from a dotcom and once from a multimedia firm. I just started freelancing about 3 weeks ago and I'm making more money already on my own. I was fortunate to have been involved with some relatively big online properties (fortunately one of them also is a successful real world entity) and now I'm able to charge some pretty high consulting fees.

I'll enjoy while I can I guess.

I wonder if that green monster guy at the end of all of their commercials got the axe, too...
2001-10-03 12:51:48 AM  
You da' monster!
2001-10-03 12:52:13 AM  
This is why...
I drink heavily.

Gods, have you taken a look at f*ckedcompany today?
Ton of new notices on the board.
2001-10-03 12:53:57 AM  
you know that guy in the clam suit?.. yeah, he's fired.
2001-10-03 12:56:12 AM  
I love the pop-up ad ...
2001-10-03 12:57:18 AM  
companies now days...don't even give you two weeks notice or anything, do they? Just one day you come into work, turn on your email, get a long yadda yadda from the boss. Lean over to the guy in the next cubicle and ask, "What the hell does this mean?" and he sez "It means we're fired."

Well, at least they still don't ASK for two weeks notice before quitting.
2001-10-03 12:58:38 AM  
Ooh, case in point on f*ckedcompany today, that Qpax co.
2001-10-03 01:25:46 AM  
ishidan: in my personal experience, we had advance warning due to a "security leak" type deal. but i've read accounts like:

i was on the way back from a conference in los angeles and i tried to call my wife. but my cell phone service had been disconnected. then, when i tried to go to work the next day, my key card didn't open the door, and when i finally did get into the building, there was a security guard standing next to my cubicle. my boss walked in and i said, "i'm fired, aren't i?" my boss became furious and demanded to know, "who leaked it?" he then informed me that i had twenty minutes to gather my belongings, after which i would be considered a tresspasser. when i returned to my car, i noticed that i had received a parking ticket, although i had parked in my usual space. also, two security guards were helping a heroin addict steal my stereo. then they set it on fire. when i finally got home on the bus, my dog had been shot, and my children had been taken by child protective services.

also, one of my friends told my this one:

they sent out a memo that said that the support department had a meeting in a building across the street. it also said they should bring all of their stuff. i never saw them again.
2001-10-03 02:09:13 AM  
Heard a rumor about an Austin company (not Dell) that had a fire drill, and on the way back in, the security guards had a clipboard and were checking off names....

Mr. Security Guard better be quick with the ol' pepper spray.
2001-10-03 02:16:12 AM  
Amusing story (while on the subject):

So, my keycard wore out and I was standing there by the door trying to make the little box go beep and hoping someone would go in or out so I could sneak in and thinking the entire time that I was finally fired, when a security guard came up and asked me what seemed to be the problem.

I patiently explained to him that I was fired and needed to get in the building to blow everyone away, but he didn't really think that was a good plan. So, after checking my id, he told me to go to the building where they make security cards to get a new one.

Hmmm... and how would I get in? And would I find out then that I was fired? Silly man.
2001-10-03 03:24:18 AM  
These "personal accounts" of being fired are rather depressing. And in my current tech-job, I don't particularly want to hear them; definitely makes me kinda itchy. Aren't most of us reading techies? I'm surprised I'm the only one having this reaction.
2001-10-03 05:14:25 AM  
My father had to "let go" one of his employees.

He called the guy in, and explained the reasons. At the
end the guy stood up, walked over to my dad's office
cupboard (same size, shape and colour door as the main one)
and walked inside it, closing the door behind him. After
ten minutes he came back out of the cupboard, walked over
to shake my dad's hand, and left by the correct door.
Wonder what was going through his mind for that ten minutes?
2001-10-03 05:37:45 AM  
Dilbert, anyone?
2001-10-03 08:39:04 AM  
if any of you were me, you wouldnt get fired unless you deliberately tried, and even then you'd have a couple months of work ahead of you
2001-10-03 08:55:02 AM  
The biggest mistake most people in the tech field made was not starting up a UNION. You would all still have jobs and it would be impossible to fire you.
And you would be able to sit in your Aeron chairs all day long and when the boss hassles you, file a grievance.
2001-10-03 09:26:38 AM  
I think we're too busy job hopping (raises come faster that way) to come up with any sort of union. :) Although, lately, job hopping has become more difficult..

Besides, the NT people and the Unix people would just end up duking it out, and nothing would get done. The mainframe people would just sort of sit there and snicker at everybody. And the programmers - we all know THEY can't be trusted (drooling freaks, all of them). The desktop support people are too busy diggings monitors and cpus from underneath piles of post-it notes and nicknacks, and the helpdesk people are so beat down with stupid questions that they just want to go home, catch a buzz, and loose themselves in south park and simpsons reruns in a feeble attempt to restore some shard of faith in mankind and all of its stupidity.

Although, the thought of all of the above going on strike at once makes me giggle.
2001-10-03 09:40:33 AM  
"When I grow up, I want 30 minutes to empty my desk after the new economy goes completely pants."

So... where do these guys list their resumes, hmmmm?
2001-10-03 09:47:47 AM  
got the monster?....hhahahhahahahhahahahah fry in hell dot com farks!!!!!!!!
2001-10-03 09:48:56 AM  
speaking of dilbert...any one want the "dilbert hole" parody???????
2001-10-03 09:50:51 AM  
Yeah dude- post the dilbert hole stuff, or email it or something.. :)
2001-10-03 09:51:00 AM  
a local dot communist co got a LOT of local press and A LOT OF LOCAL money to locate here 6 mo later they lay off 1/2 their they take the money back...NO?? fark you MINDBRANCH north adams ma
2001-10-03 09:53:16 AM  
id post it but i have no idea how to get pix on here
2001-10-03 10:01:29 AM  
I got my last job via I only got to work one week every few months but I worked for 10 hours every day for 8 days at a time and I got paid over double minimum wage.
2001-10-03 10:19:15 AM  
2001-10-03 11:18:01 AM  
When I was unemployed, I was registered with a host of job sites...not even once did anything ever pan out from them.

One time via MediaBistro I applied for a job at Entertainment I'd just finished working as a freelancer at the magazine (in the copy dept.) for 6 months and knew people at already...about a week after submitting my resume etc. I got a mass email saying that the job posting had gotten over 10,000 responses so it would take a while to hear back. How sad is that??? 10,000 applicants for one lousy job!
2001-10-03 11:50:47 AM  
MisterSym: we all USED to be techies. Kinda like the 'old' internet - a nice collection of geeks and nerds. Now Fark is glutted with bozo's, but still a nice place to visit.

On a techie note, the article states that they fired 125 people - 10% of their workforce, and THEN in the next paragraph they make this statement:

The company has offices around the world and, at last count, employed about 9,500 people.

isnt 10% of 9500 950???

Just a geeko thought for the day. I love catching other peoples long as they dont point out mine.
2001-10-03 01:42:39 PM  
scraping: i talked about starting a union with some of my coworkers. the thing is, the owner was such a power mad freak, he would have just fired us all, and made management do our jobs. also, a union doesn't help much when the company goes out of business.
2001-10-03 02:11:22 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-03 02:48:23 PM  
ChillyWilly, you forgot a "'" in "isn't" (just playing :))

They meant 10% of the people that actually do work. The others dress up in Domo costumes and wrestle.
2001-10-03 03:59:14 PM  
2001-10-03 11:27:26 PM  
heh, looks like some people ain't "da monsta" anymore.
2001-10-03 11:37:36 PM  
Bunch of lazy farkers....Go GEt REAL jobs, do a honest days work, get off your fat asses, get a clue, a grip, whatever is needed....
2001-10-04 12:54:19 AM  
Unionize techies?


We're already underworked, overpaid, overfed, and have too many regulations (need I remind anyone of the dreaded TL9000?).
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