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(CNN)   Worst. Remakes. Ever   (cnn.com) divider line 128
    More: Amusing, dark comedy, Razzies, Meg Ryan, Cameron Crowe, Neil Labute, slapstick, remakes, Sylvester Stallone  
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18041 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 01 May 2010 at 4:50 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-05-01 01:17:58 AM
Remake "Clash of the Titans?" What was wrong with the original?

Or for that matter, "Planet of the Apes" or Hitchcock's "Psycho?" The list of perfectly decent films Hollywood has "reimagined" unsuccessfully goes on and on.

Faced with this constant recycling, it's not surprising audiences sometimes ask themselves, "What's the point?"

...

But when you factor in the money to be made -- "Clash of the Titans" hauled in $385 million worldwide in just over three weeks according to boxofficemojo.com -- studios' motives start to look a little more cynical.


i61.photobucket.com

"Great journalism there Grace Wong!"
 
2010-05-01 04:59:46 AM
Psycho has to have one of the biggest gaps from great movie to utterly farking shiatty movie.
 
2010-05-01 05:05:15 AM
The only remakes from my lifetime that come to mind right now that disn't drive me back to the originals to wash the residue of suck from my short term memory are Cronenberg's "The Fly", Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead", Oz's "Little Shop of Horrors, Carpenter's "The Thing".

(note: I'm most assuredly not saying that these are "better" than the films from which they were remade. The only one that I truly do believe holds parity in regards to quality with its original version is "The Thing").
 
2010-05-01 05:06:50 AM
"didn't" somehow transmogrified into "disn't".
 
2010-05-01 05:08:55 AM
HOW'D IT GET BURNED
 
2010-05-01 05:09:08 AM
So, Psycho's bad because it just did Hitchcock's film in colour, while King Kong's OK because Jackson took the original and remade it with colour and CG?

There's only 2 modern remakes I've liked:-

- The Thomas Crown Affair.
- Ocean's 11 (which is just on a whole different plane than the original).
 
2010-05-01 05:11:47 AM
So so so so so wrong about Vanilla Sky. That was a gorgeous and all around awesome movie we may never have seen were it not for the crowe/cruise/diaz/cruz quadfecta (is that a word?))
Ignored by the academy and ragged on by the many; that was one HELL of a remake
 
2010-05-01 05:15:27 AM
farkeruk:

The Thomas Crown Affair.


Yeah. That one wasn't half bad itself.
Still vastly prefer the McQueen/Dunaway version.

/knew i'd forget (at the very least) one.
 
2010-05-01 05:25:24 AM
farkeruk: - Ocean's 11 (which is just on a whole different plane than the original).

I like to think of that and the Italian Job as remakes-in-name-only. They really aren't remotely like the original in anyway. Ocean's 11 only common plot point is they are a bunch of guys robbing a Vegas casino. The rest is completely different.
 
2010-05-01 05:29:54 AM
Karvey: quadfecta (is that a word?))

Superfecta.
 
2010-05-01 05:32:42 AM
Avatar.

They should've NEVER remade Fern Gully.

*ducks for cover*
 
2010-05-01 05:38:27 AM
Karvey: So so so so so wrong about Vanilla Sky.

Agreed. I bought it and Abre Los Ojos at the same time, having seen neither. IMHO, while the original is superior in some ways, Vanilla Sky is better in others. I think it's a great example of how remakes can work.
 
2010-05-01 05:43:12 AM
fearmongert: Avatar.

They should've NEVER remade Fern Gully.

*ducks for cover*


win
 
2010-05-01 06:04:49 AM
DrowningLessons: HOW'D IT GET BURNED REMADE
 
2010-05-01 07:03:50 AM
The sad thing about the new Pink Panther movies is that Kevin Kline could probably have pulled off playing Clouseau. He has the same kind of dignity that Peter Sellers had. Instead we get Steve Martin acting like Emo Phillips with brain damage.
 
2010-05-01 07:05:55 AM
Ed Grubermann: The sad thing about the new Pink Panther movies is that Kevin Kline could probably have pulled off playing Clouseau. He has the same kind of dignity that Peter Sellers had. Instead we get Steve Martin acting like Emo Phillips with brain damage.

Nice call... Johnathan Cleese might have been good as well...
 
2010-05-01 07:07:06 AM
Not many people remember this, but Scarface (the one with Al Pacino, obviously) was also kind of a remake.

Other than that, and a few of the examples already mentioned, remakes mostly suck.
 
2010-05-01 07:12:58 AM
fearmongert: Ed Grubermann: The sad thing about the new Pink Panther movies is that Kevin Kline could probably have pulled off playing Clouseau. He has the same kind of dignity that Peter Sellers had. Instead we get Steve Martin acting like Emo Phillips with brain damage.

Nice call... Johnathan Cleese might have been good as well...


The reason I thought of it is that Kline is in the new movies, just as the wrong character. I don't think Cleese could have done it. Cleese is damned good, but he's just not the right guy.
 
2010-05-01 07:20:47 AM
Ed Grubermann: fearmongert: Ed Grubermann: The sad thing about the new Pink Panther movies is that Kevin Kline could probably have pulled off playing Clouseau. He has the same kind of dignity that Peter Sellers had. Instead we get Steve Martin acting like Emo Phillips with brain damage.

Nice call... Johnathan Cleese might have been good as well...

The reason I thought of it is that Kline is in the new movies, just as the wrong character. I don't think Cleese could have done it. Cleese is damned good, but he's just not the right guy.


You're right...I just thought of Cleese because one of the Python troop would be great in that role...

*checks profile*

Dude, one day, you and I should have a beer together...
 
2010-05-01 08:12:48 AM
Neeek: farkeruk: - Ocean's 11 (which is just on a whole different plane than the original).

I like to think of that and the Italian Job as remakes-in-name-only. They really aren't remotely like the original in anyway. Ocean's 11 only common plot point is they are a bunch of guys robbing a Vegas casino. The rest is completely different.


Planet of the apes = re-boot, or re imagining as it were(was the hip term then).

Remake = Well, a movie more similar to the original Psycho comes to mind.

Just spitballing(can't say as I've seen both movies of any mentioned movies, atleast not in enough of a time span to compare them), but there's a distinct difference, and while related, they really don't belong to the same category.
 
2010-05-01 08:21:24 AM
Rollerball.
 
2010-05-01 08:39:03 AM
Goddamn was the Planet of the Apes remake horrible. I still haven't recovered from seeing it. Visually it was great, but my god what an ending.
 
2010-05-01 09:01:54 AM
I have to add Bad News Bears to the list. The original mix of Walter Matthaw and Tatum O'Neil can not be replicated. Billy Bob Thorton is a good drunk, but that's it.
 
2010-05-01 09:07:21 AM
farkeruk: There's only 2 modern remakes I've liked:-

- The Thomas Crown Affair.
- Ocean's 11 (which is just on a whole different plane than the original).


I'd add:-
- Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
 
2010-05-01 09:10:26 AM
fearmongert: Avatar.

They should've NEVER remade Fern Gully.

*ducks for cover*


lose
 
2010-05-01 09:13:32 AM
Ed Grubermann: The sad thing about the new Pink Panther movies is that Kevin Kline could probably have pulled off playing Clouseau. He has the same kind of dignity that Peter Sellers had. Instead we get Steve Martin acting like Emo Phillips with brain damage.

coffee. nose. keyboard.
 
2010-05-01 09:48:07 AM
tlangton.files.wordpress.com

ecx.images-amazon.com


www.movietrimmer.com
 
2010-05-01 09:49:10 AM
i enjoyed the remake of The Hills Have Eyes. brutal & well done
 
2010-05-01 09:52:03 AM
The remake of The Thomas Crown Affair had two things going for it -- both of Rene Russo's breasticles.
 
2010-05-01 09:52:41 AM
But what about when the original movies are loved but really weren't all that great?

I know that some people have been saying that the remake of Night of the Demons is supposed to be fairly bad, yet the original wasn't all that great to begin with. It's my favorite horror movie of all time, but I'll admit that it is cheesy.
 
2010-05-01 09:56:21 AM
MAYORBOB: The remake of The Thomas Crown Affair had two things going for it -- both of Rene Russo's breasticles.

I'm pretty sure she was drunk throughout the entire filming of that movie.
 
2010-05-01 10:11:18 AM
nikku88: Psycho has to have one of the biggest gaps from great movie to utterly farking shiatty movie.

Yep. There was absolutly nothing to be gained by doing a remake.

The SFX didn't need redone. The shower scene effects of slashing a mellon and pouring Bosco down the drain was not going to be made better by using digital slashing noises and pigs blood. The fade of Norman's face fading into mom's was creapy enough.

There was no way the acting was going to be better. Anthony Perkins is Norman Bates.

Meh. . .the crack pipe must have been passed around when the executives approved this remake.
 
2010-05-01 10:16:23 AM
Dicky B: Rollerball.

Agreed.
 
2010-05-01 10:18:32 AM
even though Vanilla Sky is over-rated (We get it Cameron Crowe, you worked at RS. Stop the pop-culture references), it's a bit of a stretch to call it one of the worst remakes of all time.
 
2010-05-01 10:37:40 AM
I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed both Get Carter movies. I also thought that, thematically, both movies were quite a bit different from one another (revenge v. redemption), yet altogether complimentary of one another. I've often given both DVD's as a sort of gift set. Yes, Caine's Carter is superior to Stallone's Carter, but both were interesting.
 
2010-05-01 10:54:33 AM
2wolves: Dicky B: Rollerball.

Agreed.


Dont forget the Death Race 2000 remake.


www.wreckthetapedeck.com
 
2010-05-01 10:59:07 AM
hollywood. remake BAD films. Oceans 11, manos the hands of fate, the reboot of planet of the apes, clash of the titans, Scooby Doo, herucles in ny, ghost rider, take a former POS and make it watchable.

Remaking great films is just a bad idea, sometimes it can be done, but you are just setting yourself up for failure when it gets compared to the original film.

Perhaps you can get a genius director one day worthy to step into hitchcocks shoes and perfect his films, however I just dont see that guy out there.

Sadly I would not be shocked to Michael Bays 39 explosions, come and see this generations greatest director fix the flaws that hack hitchcock left in his classic.

/or would it be McG?
 
2010-05-01 10:59:35 AM
Arkanaut: Not many people remember this, but Scarface (the one with Al Pacino, obviously) was also kind of a remake.

That's precisely why it's still considered to be good, because not many people remember this. People love familiarity. fark with that and you'd better be bringing a ton to the table.
 
2010-05-01 11:00:59 AM
You know, I just wanted to come here and defend Vanilla Sky. Everyone complains about how terrible it is, and its ratings on RottenTomatos are awful, but I actually really enjoyed the film -- and I own the movie it was a remake of. Take out the last 15 minutes, and you have a very well shot, surreal movie.
 
2010-05-01 11:04:14 AM
Dwight256: You know, I just wanted to come here and defend Vanilla Sky. Everyone complains about how terrible it is, and its ratings on RottenTomatos are awful, but I actually really enjoyed the film -- and I own the movie it was a remake of. Take out the last 15 minutes, and you have a very well shot, surreal movie.



I haven't seen the original film, but I thought Vanilla Sky was basically a weak version of Jacob's Ladder with some heavy-handed pop culture references.
 
2010-05-01 11:09:59 AM
The Ladykillers was awesome. Take it at face value, don't compare it to anything and you'll have a good time.
 
2010-05-01 11:13:32 AM
FeedTheCollapse: Dwight256: You know, I just wanted to come here and defend Vanilla Sky. Everyone complains about how terrible it is, and its ratings on RottenTomatos are awful, but I actually really enjoyed the film -- and I own the movie it was a remake of. Take out the last 15 minutes, and you have a very well shot, surreal movie.



I haven't seen the original film, but I thought Vanilla Sky was basically a weak version of Jacob's Ladder with some heavy-handed pop culture references.


I haven't seen Vanilla Sky in a few years now so it's possible the pop culture offenses have faded from my mind, but I tend to fixate on the scenes where Cruise's character is either alone or dying in the streets. The exploration of his confusion and depression, and the way that Jason Lee's character slowly pulls away from him when he needs the most help, are both quite interesting.

As far as being comparable to Jacob's Ladder -- I love that film too, and I think there's plenty of room for films that try to visually depict the confused or tortured psyches of people who have lived through terrible things. It's an interesting topic. Jacob's Ladder probably did do a better job of that, but I just enjoyed how confused and hazy Cruise's relations became in Vanilla Sky after his auto accident.

The ending, which explained away all that confusion, was tremendously disappointing, but up until that point I was really into it.
 
2010-05-01 11:15:30 AM
I'm going to go ahead and pre-empt the Commando remake here.
 
2010-05-01 11:18:35 AM
Other than Planet of the Apes on DVD that I saw, I haven't seen the other ones. I wouldn't have even known they were remakes until this article. A couple of them I have never even heard of.

I don't really have a point.
 
2010-05-01 11:30:52 AM
Arn_Dee: I'm going to go ahead and pre-empt the Commando remake here.

Yeah, terrible idea. Aside from name recognition, why? Number one, the movie was all about Arnold. Having someone else play a character defined by the actor would be as stupid as someone else playing Peter Seller's Inspector Clousau. And no filmmaker is that stupid, right?

Second, there's really no plot other than "ex-badass' daughter is kidnapped and he has to hack his way through everyone to get to her". You don't need to license the name Commando to tell that story. Taken already did it quite well last year.

Finally, they'd have to jump through a shiatload of logistical hoops to explain how Matrix' escape isn't found out by a simple mobile phone call. Almost every conflict in almost every episode
of Seinfeld could have been solved if the characters just had mobile phones. With Commando it's even worse.

Remake the Running Man if you have to "re-imagine" an Arnold movie. With all the absurd reality shows, it would be more relevant than ever. I'd even forgive them pussy-ing out on the plane flying into the building.
 
2010-05-01 11:30:55 AM
FeedTheCollapse: Dwight256: You know, I just wanted to come here and defend Vanilla Sky. Everyone complains about how terrible it is, and its ratings on RottenTomatos are awful, but I actually really enjoyed the film -- and I own the movie it was a remake of. Take out the last 15 minutes, and you have a very well shot, surreal movie.

I haven't seen the original film, but I thought Vanilla Sky was basically a weak version of Jacob's Ladder with some heavy-handed pop culture references.


Dude, did you watch either of those movies? Demons dragging you to hell /= Penelope Cruz

And why the hell was the Ladykillers on that list and not the aforementioned Death Race, or any J-horror remake besides the ring (I'm look at you, The Grudge and Pulse)
 
2010-05-01 11:32:49 AM
threecigarettes: Dude, did you watch either of those movies? Demons dragging you to hell /= Penelope Cruz

well, I was about to make a post about how no matter Hollywood insists, Penelope Cruz is not all that attractive, so...


/yes, I will be that guy.
 
2010-05-01 11:33:52 AM
Denial_of_Death: Karvey: So so so so so wrong about Vanilla Sky.

Agreed. I bought it and Abre Los Ojos at the same time, having seen neither. IMHO, while the original is superior in some ways, Vanilla Sky is better in others. I think it's a great example of how remakes can work.


I also agree - the only thing I didn't like about VS is that the denoument (sp?) goes on for way too long. I even like the Paul McCartney theme song that I think is vastly overlooked.
 
2010-05-01 11:34:13 AM
DrowningLessons: HOW'D IT GET BURNED

Best. Remake. Ever.
 
2010-05-01 11:39:39 AM
threecigarettes: FeedTheCollapse:

And why the hell was the Ladykillers on that list and not the aforementioned Death Race, or any J-horror remake besides the ring (I'm look at you, The Grudge and Pulse)



I haven't seen any version of The Ladykillers but I would hazard a guess that it's because Tom Hanks is a respected actor and the Cohens are respected directors so when they make a movie that sucks, it's somehow worse than when whoever made Deathrace makes a movie that sucks. Kind of like how Batman and Robin was a worse offense than Manos: Hands of Fate. People expect more from an accomplished director and all star cast than some nobody with a $100 budget,
 
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