A) The title is 'Man dies after feeling eel'. Lame pun taken care of.
B) 'A CHEF has died after an EEL was put up his bum.' Headline that sounds like it was written by a 12-year... taken care of!
C) 'The 50cm long Asian swamp eel was allegedly inserted into the unnamed man's bottom, after he passed out drunk, by pals playing a prank on him.' Man, those guys are hardcore. I know we like to do stupid stuff to passed out drunks... but that's a little ridiculous.

This: tortilla burger: See? It's not just white people who do borderline gay shiat when somebody passes out drunk

Fark carrots.

Lightning bolts!!

If it's from a UK tabloid, and it says "By staff reporter", it probably didn't happen

PTBO: This article really chews my ass.

Oooh ooh now that's really scraping the bottom of the barrel.

the aristocrats.

I am speechless.

OneFretAway: This exact same thing was once the plot of a "Murder She Wrote" episode.

I need a new keyboard now.

OK, I was born in the mid-Fifties, and I have been howling drunk, commode-hugging drunk, and pop-a-military-flare-in-the-middle-of-town-at-3:00AM drunk, but I have NEVER been eel-up-the-ass drunk.

Someone was doing it wrong.

Rectum?

The Sun is there. I'm sure they're very proud.

howdyyall9999: I bet the eel was hungry again in an hour...

LMAO I'm crying!

Paris1127: His friends must also be chefs; they apparently specialize in eel soup.

/don't look it up, NSFW

Can't... stop... typing in... eel soup...

GAAAAA!!!!

Armageddon?

Approves

/the book was better

Sleeping Monkey: Drawing on someone when they pass out drunk is pretty childish, but putting an eel up their ass? Who thinks of that?

I would probably think of it, if for some reason I had an eel. Then again, I'm an asshole.

Rectum? Damn near killed him.

/Really? 65 posts?

ihatedumbpeople: CaesarSneezy: ihatedumbpeople: Headline: "Chef dies after feeling eel"
Story: Eel shoved up passed out chef's ass, eats his guts.

So, for the Brits "feeling" means "put up ones ass"?

It's a pun on "ill."

Wow...it's been a long day when you miss one that obvious...time for me to get out of here...yikes...

/holds head in shame...

The irony is delicious...

tortilla burger: See? It's not just white people who do borderline gay shiat when somebody passes out drunk

I bow to you tortilla burger for you are strong.

Damnit, 1 second, and missed a one-word post.

I fail.

f-eelings...nothing more than f-eelings...

howdyyall9999: I bet the eel was hungry again in an hour...

Hahahahahahahaha
I can't catch my breath!

Vai1018: Damnit, 1 second, and missed a one-word post.

I fail.

Dude, you got beat by a girl...

OneFretAway: This exact same thing was once the plot of a "Murder She Wrote" episode.

I LOL'd!

IXI Jim IXI

f-eelings...nothing more than f-eelings...


(groan)

When an eel's up your butt
and it feasts on your guts
That's a Moray

truth_is_stranger_than_fishin: that is wrong

That's a moray!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

What has been read... cannot be unread.

FarkinHostile: IXI Jim IXI

f-eelings...nothing more than f-eelings...


(groan)

Eel-conceived.

Holy Edward II, buttman!

Dammit gas giant *shakes tiny fist*

Wow, this is so full of wrong!

I can't believe they put a live eel up someone's ass. But even if it wasn't live, the guy STILL would have probably died because when you went to pull it out, the edge of the fins going to wrong way is like barbed wire and would slice you open..and that was probably a two foot eel. So, very very wrong.

/Used to have a snowflake moray eel
//Only took my once to learn don't grab when he was retreating into the rock

Faux Shizzle: truth_is_stranger_than_fishin: that is wrong

That's a moray!

When the eel's 'tween your thighs
'cause of a prank by some smart guys

That's a moray...

gambitsgirl: IXI Jim IXI: Vai1018: Damnit, 1 second, and missed a one-word post.

I fail.

Dude, you got beat by a girl...

and she's cute

Well yeah. Being beaten by an ugly girl is no big deal. You figure they have the extra time to get better at this kind of thing...

gas giant: When an eel's up your butt
and it feasts on your guts
That's a Moray

GET OUT

gambitsgirl: PRANK? PRANK? PRANK?

THIS IS A PRANK



That is beyond ASSault

Ha Ha! She said ASSault!
/so full of WIN every where I turn.

"Eels up inside you!"

hailin: Wow, this is so full of wrong!

I can't believe they put a live eel up someone's ass. But even if it wasn't live, the guy STILL would have probably died because when you went to pull it out, the edge of the fins going to wrong way is like barbed wire and would slice you open..and that was probably a two foot eel. So, very very wrong.

/Used to have a snowflake moray eel
//Only took my once to learn don't grab when he was retreating into the rock

I actually had to look it up when I read the article. The swamp eel is no an eel but rather a fish so no sphincter destroying dorsal fin...

My original thought was "Well, ok, as long as this happened after he was dead, BFD".

Then I read the article...

Yeah...that's wrong.

"Think he had a wet dreeeeam...
done in by an eel reeeeeam...
Ewwwwww ewwwwww EWWWWWW ewwwwww...

Wet dream..."

\did it for the halibut
\\got nothin'

With friends like that, who needs enemas?