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(   Pontiac Aztek voted best in class. This is so wrong.   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

3232 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2001 at 8:44 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

62 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-10-02 08:49:57 AM  
I guess the class that it was judged against must consist of itself, the Vehicross, and the Randevous (You can't even spell it so how the hell could it ever be cool?)
2001-10-02 08:51:11 AM  
I couldnt put it down in front of anyone who owned it because I dont know anybody that owns it?
2001-10-02 08:53:56 AM  
Alright, way to sweep the "ugly-ass abomination class"!
2001-10-02 08:54:05 AM  
Tupperware on wheels.
2001-10-02 08:55:32 AM  
Apparently it beat out the PT Cruiser and the Eurovan.
2001-10-02 09:00:28 AM  
"The Aztec is the most beloved entry-level SUV among owners of those types of vehicles"

Translation: The owners purchased a piece of ugly underpowered crap, they all realize this, but decide that misery loves company.
2001-10-02 09:04:35 AM  
Ok now I see, it beat out the RAV4 and the Hyundai!

RAV4 - Usually resevered for mullet wearing, softball playing, Indigo girls jamming, bull dykes.

Hyundai - Speaks for itself. PIECE OF KOREAN CRAP

That leaves the Aztec, it all makes sense now.
2001-10-02 09:08:47 AM  
The Aztek and Rav4 are two cars that don't belong on the road. Why are they even being manufactured? For people who want a smaller sized SUV. Makes no sense.
2001-10-02 09:15:13 AM  
Have any of you actually driven an Aztek? I took a few out on test drives and I was quite impressed. The exterior may not appeal to everyone's sense of aesthetic but I think the interior is very cool and quite spacious. It handled well for a vehicle of its size and also accelerated just as well (for its size). In the end, its still just a 4WD minivan though, so I didn't buy one.
2001-10-02 09:20:45 AM  
I prefer the Robin Reliant 3 wheeler!!!
2001-10-02 09:27:50 AM  
I'd rather farking walk!
2001-10-02 09:31:54 AM  
Is it me, or does the Aztek look like a pregnant version of the Pontiac 6000, right down to the hatchback design?
2001-10-02 09:33:28 AM  
Scary was a very appropriate tag.
2001-10-02 09:33:48 AM  
MadMarcus, I too have ridden in one and I agree it's a nice, minivan-like ride - but it doesn't make up for the exterior. My boss had one as his company car (yes, I work for GM) for a while and said that as long as he could keep his eyes closed until he got into it, it was a great vehicle. I know only one person who bought one and that's only because she got a 35% discount on it.

On another note, fark needs a "WRONG" tag. This story really deserved it.
2001-10-02 09:43:18 AM  
From the back, it reminds me of the old Pontiac La Mans that was built by Renault(?)
2001-10-02 09:48:47 AM  
Just disgusting. I'm glad to read that my boyfriend and I weren't the only ones who found this vehicle to be positively ugly. And I agree, it's like a magnified version of the Pontiac Le Mons. Blech!
2001-10-02 10:05:35 AM  

From their website in case someone doesn't know what this is.

.pontiac aztek
2001-10-02 10:16:56 AM  
It's a Gremlin on steroids
2001-10-02 10:25:31 AM  
All hail the Robin Reliant!
2001-10-02 10:29:04 AM  
I remember going to an auto show at the Bay Side Expo in Boston right before the Aztek went on sale. I was in the Pontiac area looking at the thing and one of the reps came over and said something about it being awesome.

I turned to him and asked what kind of halucinigenic tubers the designers were on when they designed that piece of cow dung.

He basically stode there, blinking as I walked away with my buddy, both of us roaring with laughter.
2001-10-02 10:40:13 AM  
British - the Pontiac 6000 (chev celebrity clone) wasn't a hatchback :) The Pontiac 1000 was though (and it was just a clone of the Chevette!)
2001-10-02 10:42:51 AM  
I found the car that the Aztek reminded me of, its the 1998 Pontiac Lemans!!!

[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-02 10:43:06 AM  
Hahaha, you silly Americans. Here in Europe they definetly make cars a bit more tasteful.

All hail the Fiat Multipla! At least Michael Schumacher promotes it so it should be good..

2001-10-02 10:45:25 AM  
Dammit MadMarcus That's the Opel Kadett/Vauxhall Astra you are showing. THis piece of car dung has infested our northern european roads for many, many, many years and has been finally eridicated. And now this picture. AAARGGH. I spit on windshield, you blasphemist!
2001-10-02 10:51:48 AM  
Bugger_All, thats definately a 1998 Pontiac Lemans :) Here's the link I googled that pic from:

Here is an Opel Kadett [image from too old to be available] They sure are similar :)
2001-10-02 11:04:41 AM  
Opel Kadett, 1998 Pontiac Lemans......either way you slice it its a bad case of automotive ugly. That kid in the Lemans needs to splurge on a spoiler if he plans on getting laid this decade.

I'm 6'5", I'd have tear out the front seat and sit in the 'hatch' to drive it.
2001-10-02 11:08:58 AM  
MadMarcus: It's the same crap with a different sauce.
In Europe it was called Opel Kadett, the Britons called it Vauxhall Astra, you lot call it Pontiac Lemans. All of us together call it a lame excuse for a transportation mode. It's a car which has caused relations to break, governments to tumble, people to hate each other and the introduction of 'Gabber'House.
2001-10-02 11:09:44 AM  
Dawsons_crick: You don't drive this piece of elephant dung. You plow it in the nearest concrete wall.
2001-10-02 11:13:48 AM  
I think I'd rather drive an automotive replica of the ugly-ass rare baby rhinoceros than an Aztek.

(Bugger_All--that gabber reference cracked me up)
2001-10-02 11:17:31 AM  
Obviously some people don't care about what the outside of their vehicle looks like. As far as I know, the interior has all kinds of cool features. So from a utilitarian point of view, it's a great vehicle. It would be cool if it wasn't so damn butt ugly. It probably never needs to be washed because it's so ugly it repels dirt!
2001-10-02 11:20:56 AM  
Ladies and gentlemen, the Chevy Citation
[image from too old to be available]

This is from a dealership website and the accompanying tagline is "Want a car no one else has?" Yours for only $450. I nominate it as the Official Public Transportation of Farkistan.
2001-10-02 11:21:46 AM  
Photoshop this Citation.
2001-10-02 11:22:18 AM  
What is worse? the Aztek or that other piece of Tupperwear disguised as a Truck/SUV, the Chevy Avalanche?? I think the Avalanche is the ugliest thing i have ever seen and the fact that it is like a big plastic Transformer is the worst part of the deal.

Long live the best new car of the past few years though.... The redesigned Supercharged Nissan Frontier Crew Cab!! I love my truck.
2001-10-02 11:28:46 AM  
Ultimately it's the interior you're going to experience most as an owner and a driver, and Aztek owners are appreciating these factors.

Hmm, this shiat I am coated in is warm and moist. It is so nice to be inside it. It doesn't matter what it smells or looks like....

2001-10-02 11:31:34 AM  
MadMarkus: "The exterior may not appeal to everyone's sense of aesthetic..."

You're British aren't you?

2001-10-02 11:34:11 AM  
Since you all willingly ignored my Fiat Multipla post, behold the horror.
I warned you all!!! [evil menacing laugh]

[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-02 11:36:09 AM  
What do expect from a car named the Pontiac Ass-tek?
2001-10-02 11:56:56 AM  
That would make a hella shoot'n car!
2001-10-02 11:59:24 AM  
AZtek: SUV pinto
2001-10-02 12:05:08 PM  
Bugger why is that red car trying to sodomize that other red car under it? are they fighting?
2001-10-02 12:08:25 PM  
The '88 LeMans was made from Opel parts by Daewoo in South Korea...
2001-10-02 12:08:42 PM  
The Pontanic Asstek is the ugliest piece of shit on the road. One of it's key "don't-gotta-buy-it" features is it's underpowered gutless 4-cylinder engine. Yes, you too will be outrun by a Hyundai!

-he who stacks pork
2001-10-02 12:13:21 PM  
Playa hatah: You owe me a new keyboard without coffee in it buddy!!
2001-10-02 12:17:57 PM  

Pontiac Aztec Designer Awakens From Twenty-Eight-Year
LSD Bender

Detroit, MI - After nearly three decades of living in an LSD-induced haze, Charlie McGee, the lead designer and head engineer of the Pontiac Aztec, finally popped back into the real world during a sales meeting at Pontiac's Headquarters in Detroit. "Whoa, what the hell is that thing?" McGee asked a fellow co-worker upon seeing a PowerPoint presentation featuring the vehicle he designed while under the influence of the mind altering chemical he ingested while attending a Grateful Dead concert in 1972. McGee quickly identified several flaws with the basic design of the vehicle, the main being that it looks like a farking piece of shiat from every conceivable angle.
2001-10-02 12:28:56 PM  
Leopold - the Asstek doesn't come with a 4-cylinder engine, its a 3.4 litre V6. It's far from gutless... now don't get me wrong, I'm not defending it, just setting the facts straight.

Now I'm going off to photoshop that Citation picture that Dogbone posted!
2001-10-02 01:13:06 PM  
The winner of the world's ugliest automobile goes to......The Pontiac Aztek
2001-10-02 01:52:01 PM  
all who drive suv's can eat ..


you know whatt hey can eat.
2001-10-02 02:15:21 PM  
I think the Fiat Multipla has the Aztek beat as the Elephant Man of the automobile world.
2001-10-02 02:26:04 PM  
Good. It's quite good to see that my feelings of disgust and laughter have been validated from 6 months ago. It fits right into the same class as the Ford Focus, and newer Ford Taurus's.

When marketers and designers collide...

2001-10-02 02:29:11 PM  
MadMarcus - the "pre-release" version I saw at a GM test drive "sneak preview" event in 1999 had a gutless 4-banger under the hood.

Regardless, it's uglier than an AMC Pacer:

[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]

-he who stacks pork
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