FARK.com: (524669) Five radical ideas that could change baseball. Idea #1: Free beer at games

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		Five radical ideas that could change baseball. Idea #1: Free beer at games (espn.go.com)		119
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11956 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2003 at 2:37 PM | Favorite | share:

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downstairs		2003-05-09 02:05:53 PM

Just eliminate the craptastic Expos, Marlins, Devil Rays and whatever other pretend teams are out there that I may not have heard of.

One-game wild card play-in would be fun, too

stinkbunny		2003-05-09 02:40:11 PM

Disco Demolition Night

LexiLuthor		2003-05-09 02:41:27 PM

Ah, I didn't understand most of the words in that article! I know nothing about baseball. The question is: do I care?

modernhamlet		2003-05-09 02:41:45 PM

Downstairs,

But then who would get to play the Yankees?

/hates those jerks

FarkingAssHat		2003-05-09 02:42:06 PM

#6: Topless Ballgirls

Diogenes		2003-05-09 02:42:06 PM

Free beer won't change the game, but it sure as hell would change my perspective on it.

ashwihi		2003-05-09 02:42:34 PM

Radical Idea #6 that didnt make it past editing.

Baseball sucks, and Bonds is a big dumb monkey.

PS. go cry about not making enough money again you no talent assclowns

TheGrayCat		2003-05-09 02:42:58 PM

They had a freaking riot when they had nickle beer, can you imagine the carnage if they just gave it away?

desi0101		2003-05-09 02:43:04 PM

B.A.S.E.B.A.L.L S.U.C.K.S

It is just exciting as Nascar.

/Those who think Nascar sucks will understand. The rest Please Ignore

topher		2003-05-09 02:43:22 PM

#7 Ballless top girls

bmihura		2003-05-09 02:43:34 PM

Anybody who actually watches baseball, the world's second-slowest sporting event, has too much time on their hands.

acaciaavenue		2003-05-09 02:43:39 PM

Yeah free beer. THAT will keep people in line.

justwildbeatcommunications		2003-05-09 02:43:43 PM

what's wrong with wiffle ball...

nothing.

GooberMcFly		2003-05-09 02:43:57 PM

"Sniper Rifle Night"

Is it okay to joke about Snipers yet?

wgb423		2003-05-09 02:43:58 PM

baseball sucks... ...but if they gave away beer I might show up.

John_Mach		2003-05-09 02:44:18 PM

fark off Downstairs, Expos rule your mother.

mahoot		2003-05-09 02:44:43 PM

Hellifiknow		2003-05-09 02:44:47 PM

"Guys: kiss the girls on the strikes, girls: kiss the guys on the balls."

/old joke

Tigger		2003-05-09 02:45:03 PM

Baseball's a boring sport. I want to watch something with more scoring in.

/ironic soccer fan

DannySpaz		2003-05-09 02:45:05 PM

baseball is slow......
i have season tickets to the local triple-A team and it worth it because they cheap, like the atmosphere, and get to enjoy an evening outside.

plunking down $100+ is not my idea of "fun".....

wgb423		2003-05-09 02:45:14 PM

Oh! I've got one. They could have short football games in between innings. Then I could use the actual baseball innings to go get more free beer and take a wizz

DukeSux		2003-05-09 02:45:21 PM

Why LexiLuthor should care:

"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But, baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again."
--Terrence Mann (James Earl Jones), Field of Dreams

Desi: NASCAR sucks way, way more than baseball.

ColSanders		2003-05-09 02:45:55 PM

Baseball is a lot like Congress; the system is great but the asshats on the "rosters" and in charge right now screw everything up.

Let's just fire them all and start from scratch.

topher		2003-05-09 02:46:08 PM

Even more phalic like sporting equipment

bass555		2003-05-09 02:47:26 PM

#8(?) - randomly placed landmines

/GC

Psuedonym		2003-05-09 02:47:38 PM

IF they have a union, then how about union type pay scales based solely on experience (as most union scales are). Getting rid of the bajillion dollars a year for certain players will make for more competition and help the game. The NFL has the most stringent salary cap of any sport and is knocking the snot out of the rest of 'em.
/obvious?

dylanthomas		2003-05-09 02:48:28 PM

Typical baseball game for my friends and I is getting really drunk, and oh yea, there are a bunch of guys running around on the field down there, too

only thing worse than baseball: baseball in the metrodome

rickythepenguin		2003-05-09 02:48:33 PM

seriously, they should change the rules that intentional walk = every runner advances one base. If no one's on base = team walked gets an extra out.

You gotta make teams pay for walking Bonds, Giambi, Gonzo, Guerrero, etc.

Eliminate balk rule; if you want to steal, you really gotta have balls. The balk is the dumbest rule in baseball. Who realy gives a shiat if the pitcher came to a complete stop before throwing, or if he fakes going home before picking you off, or if he goes to his mowf while on the rubber...The best pickoff moves are balks anyways.

Oh and they should add either a pit of flaming gasoline or man-eating crocodiles in shallow center.

sundog_rocks		2003-05-09 02:49:02 PM

My #1 rule change...

Once you commit to the batter's box, you are commited for the entire at-bat. If you back out, and the picther is ready, he can deliver the ball, with all pitches counted (as balls and strikes)... I mean, screw it, if you are the batter and are not ready and the other team is, sucks to be you...

Would speed up baseball and God-forbid keep the game under 4 hours...

Either that or game promotions such as :"Hooter-girl Hummer Night".

TheGrayCat		2003-05-09 02:50:02 PM

"NASCAR sucks way, way more than baseball."

As someone who lives in North Carolina and hates racing, I agree with this statement wholeheartedly.

Kuta		2003-05-09 02:50:05 PM

fry1138		2003-05-09 02:50:12 PM

That Baseketball film was farking funny!

I gotta see that again.

Ive never watched baseball but if it sucks as much as cricket then its gotta be bad. (i mean bad bad not bad good)

jgi		2003-05-09 02:50:49 PM

Hockey is far superior to any other sport. Where else can two low seeded teams, the Ducks and the Wild, slaughter all of the best teams in the West? Hockey is known for its upsets (and it was upsetting to see the Wings get swept) and that's what makes it such a great game. Baseball? It's a bunch of fat guys standing around.

AlfredP		2003-05-09 02:50:50 PM

<threadjack>Whoever created that matrix boycott site needs to be kicked. Hard.

I think they spoiled the ending.

I want that add removed
</threadjack>

Anti_Freak_Machine		2003-05-09 02:50:53 PM

Battery night.
That is all.

Or like in Basketball- Free range chicken night.

thudwhomper		2003-05-09 02:51:23 PM

it's simple. eliminate all canadian teams. canadians don't care about the game, and it's completely ridiculous that a team in toronto is in the American league. let them play hockey and curling and whine about figure skating. boo canada! i mean, only-existing-because-we-let-you land.

Dashiki		2003-05-09 02:51:50 PM

Free Fried Chicken, and Free Beer.

That is all.

Billy_D_Goat		2003-05-09 02:52:08 PM

DerekSD		2003-05-09 02:52:18 PM

midgets. mlb needs midgets.

fry1138		2003-05-09 02:52:19 PM

Step 1 Free beer at games
Step 2......
Step 3 Profit!!!

Sorry it must be the whiskey

Tigger		2003-05-09 02:52:24 PM

Continuing Bass555 theme:

1) One ball per game is a phosphoros grenade
2) Electrify home plate at random
3) Administer an unknown psychopharmacological agent on rounding second base.
4) Scorpions
5) Rotating knives (not quite sure how these would fit in yet)
6) Replace 7th inning stretch with live sex show

Sidi		2003-05-09 02:52:33 PM

Rickythepenguin but it will be impossible to distinguish "intentional" walks and "unintentional" walks. They'll just happen to throw a foot above the guys head, then in the dirt.

Or take the easy way out and just hit him. Your rule would do nothing.

rickythepenguin		2003-05-09 02:53:28 PM

all hail Sundog, the lawgiver.

That's a great idea. Just like rodeo (speaking of gay ass sports). Once they lock you in the chute, yo' ass is in!

ColSanders		2003-05-09 02:53:59 PM

DukeSux -- Amen, brother. Amen.

Centaur_in_Brass		2003-05-09 02:54:05 PM

TheGrayCat: I hear that. Also a North Carolinian and can't stand NASCAR. Bleh.

Damn shame we gotta wait till November for ACC basketball.

safeinsane		2003-05-09 02:54:21 PM

StinkyBunny:
Great, old time Comiskey Park reference. You rule!

Improve the game? The A's could bring MC Hammer as their batboy, Hammerpants and all.

albo		2003-05-09 02:54:32 PM

Sundog, I'll take it a step further and allow the pitcher to throw a consequences-free pitch at the batter if he steps out of the box at any time other than right after a foul ball.

And any pitcher who shakes off more than 2 pitch suggestions from his catcher has to throw the next pitch with his opposite hand. speed it up!

imcguyver		2003-05-09 02:54:37 PM

I have an idea. How about they turn the field into a rectangle...about 100 yards long, 50 yards wide. Then put 11 people on one end of the field an the other team on the other end. Shape the ball like a enlongated oval. Put helmets and pads on. Yea, if they go with that idea then they will probably make baseball popular. As it stands baseball really sucks ass. The best part about baseball is when they go on strike.

LexiLuthor		2003-05-09 02:55:37 PM

DukeSux: I meant "Why should I care that I don't know what these terms mean". I actually like a baseball game once in a while. I bought a 4-pack of tickets that are spread over the season and that should fulfill my quota for the year. I think my boss is going to take us out sometime this summer too. Mostly I like the atmosphere if I don't pay attention to the games all that much (the only sport I pay attention to is hockey, go BU!). It's hokey, but it's fun.

Sorry for the confusion.