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(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))   Help wanted: Receptionist to answer phones, perform light office work and serenade employees on grand piano.   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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3763 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2003 at 8:36 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

33 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-05-09 08:40:09 AM  
'Play us a song, you're the piano man
play us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feelin' alright'
2003-05-09 08:41:54 AM  
What about massages? Or juggling?
2003-05-09 08:41:58 AM  
Seems like an exceptionally cool office.
2003-05-09 08:42:36 AM  
There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.

So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'

'OK,' says the guy.

He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
'You have one wish.'

The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.

He tells the barman,
'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'

The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'
2003-05-09 08:42:48 AM  
Nice ref. Damndog!
2003-05-09 08:47:03 AM  
"I'm playing this note 'cause it fits in well with the way I'm feeling...."
2003-05-09 09:03:56 AM  
I wonder which is worse -- working to "Today's hits and yesterday's classics" or having the receptionist playing show tunes all day...
2003-05-09 09:13:46 AM  
Ayatollah: Definitely the former.

Speaking of which, your name is giving me a strong urge to break out into song, especially after Thedamndog's Billy Joel post.

Come on, everybody!

Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan
Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide

2003-05-09 09:15:35 AM  
so on top of the greeting customers, answering, questions, making copies, filing, getting coffee, typing, setting up appointments, take the bosses stool sample to the lab, going to the post office, being asked what feminine products i use in room full off suit wearing men, they want us to sing too. wow can't wait to see what they want the secretaries and administrative assistants to do......

ooops did that turn into a rant?
2003-05-09 09:16:06 AM  
For someone into playing piano, that would be a dream job.....except for the $14 per hour part.

That would be like my boss telling me to play computer games when business was slow.
2003-05-09 09:16:16 AM  
this is a GREAT idea! I'll play the guitar while I handle your e-procurement or residential appraisal review needs for only $50,000/ year!
2003-05-09 09:18:18 AM  
Sounds like a very cool idea, but comon - isn't $14 an hour pretty crappy pay? Especially in the SanFran area?
2003-05-09 09:30:39 AM  
I once was a "security guard" and often I would bring as many as 3 guitars in with me at the start of the shift.

Everyone knew. No one gave a crap. I quit and became a guitar teacher after 10 months.

If I was 19 and was gonna be practicing ANYWAY 14 bucks an hour to do this might be ok. I'd be playing a song called "Blow Me" after about a year of that tho.
2003-05-09 09:31:36 AM  
Wait, it doesn't say you have to play it WELL.

You could just hammer on the keys. Oh, wait. $14/hour. No, thanks.
2003-05-09 09:32:27 AM  
Mr Chigger Look, I came here to learn how to fly an aeroplane.
Mr Anemone A what?
Mr Chigger I came here to learn how to fly an aeroplane.
Mr Anemone (sarcasticaly) Oh, 'an aeroplane'. Oh, I say, we are grand, aren't we? (imitation posh accent) 'Oh, oh, no more buttered scones for me, mater. I'm off to play the grand piano'. 'Pardon me while I fly my aeroplane.' Now get on the table!
2003-05-09 09:38:03 AM  
whoa. I heard about this on the radio a couple of days ago. Is FARK stealing their links from a radio station in a bizarre twist of fate?
2003-05-09 10:45:09 AM  
Just_Another_Girl AHHHHH I'll never get that song out of my head now! Make it stop!
2003-05-09 10:53:01 AM  
Particle man, particle man
Doing the things a particle can
What's he like? It's not important
Particle man

Is he a dot, or is he a speck?
When he's underwater does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?
Nobody knows, Particle man

Triangle man, Triangle man
Triangle man hates particle man
They have a fight, Triangle wins
Triangle man

Universe man, Universe man
Size of the entire universe man
Usually kind to smaller man
Universe man

He's got a watch with a minute hand,
Millenium hand and an eon hand
When they meet it's a happy land
Powerful man, universe man
2003-05-09 10:59:42 AM  

Buddy Holly, Ben Hur
Space Monkey, Mafia
Hula Hoops, Castro
Edsel is a no-go...


2003-05-09 11:02:25 AM  
Sounds degrading, would you ask your finance manager to entertain you with juggling?
2003-05-09 11:06:21 AM  
I would just hire Terminator X and Flava Flav. You KNOW they would be able to kick it old school style and put a little wiggle in trunk in those biatches from Finance.
2003-05-09 11:29:17 AM  
/still trying to interpret the relevence of the TMBG lyrics...
2003-05-09 11:34:47 AM  
I know *I* wouldn't play a gig for $14/hr!! Good luck finding someone who will! Cool idea, though!
2003-05-09 11:40:01 AM  
Heh Saxchick but you could make so much money from doing sex scene soundtracks!
2003-05-09 12:03:52 PM  
/trying to find way to work in "roses on piano, tulips on organ" joke
2003-05-09 12:17:15 PM  
Ain't singin' for pepsi
Ain't singin' for coke
I don't sing for nobody
Makes me look like a joke
This note's for you.
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-09 01:40:03 PM  
* Must also be expert at semen evacuation. This schlong isn't going to suck itself, you know.
2003-05-09 02:42:22 PM  
What's the diff between Billy Joel and Great White?

Billy Joel didn't start the fire

/recycled joke

Oh yeah, if anyone in western washington wants a FREE PIANO (white upright) and you can come to my house and pick it up, please please let me know!

Piano sounds good, top cover hinges broken but repairable, marginally out of tune (will throw in free tuning kit)
2003-05-09 11:41:51 PM  
Squidward- you're probably right!! Maybe I'll have to look into that to pay off some student loans! I can put out some cheesy album called "Sax by the Fire..." but seriously, those muzak and porn sax players are paid well, I bet.

...actually, anyone who wants to get better at piano could take the job and get paid to practice all day. That would be fun!
2003-05-15 06:07:05 PM  
2003-05-15 06:08:26 PM  
sorry I think I finally figured this out
2003-05-15 06:11:15 PM  
2003-05-16 10:47:51 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
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