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(   Arcata police log update: Captain Tantrum & The Greenshirts   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

4858 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2003 at 8:46 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

53 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-05-09 08:49:33 AM  
WTF, am i the only one who doesn't understand this?
2003-05-09 08:52:52 AM  
Odd, yet flaccid.
2003-05-09 08:52:58 AM  

your not the only one.

It's 7:52 in the morning, i'm going back to bed.
2003-05-09 08:53:09 AM  
Sophia says it all...

[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-09 08:53:25 AM  

I've read it again, I still don't understand it, I mean I understand the words but they don't seem to be structured into sentences. just sort of dropped on the page.

Please explain this to me.

2003-05-09 08:53:38 AM  
'A bongo stylist, all aglow
Induced Western Avenue's woe
The trance drumming bleated
A pulse that repeated
Gutta cavat lapidem, non vi sed saepe cadendo'

2003-05-09 08:55:31 AM  
A free-lance pooch, bereft of human restraint and left to its own dogly devices, chased someone near the green house on 13th Street.

2003-05-09 08:55:35 AM  
Good, and you.
2003-05-09 08:55:47 AM  
I'm confused.
2003-05-09 08:57:55 AM  
dogly devices, orange-helmeted pilot of a street-illegal motorized scooter that buzzes worse than nails on a blackboard, public drunkiliciousness arrest

You gotta love it.
2003-05-09 08:58:43 AM  

Perhaps the person who submitted this story could explain WTF it's all about.

Or maybe the person who let it be posted whilst rejecting my hilarious stroy about the swan who fell in love with the swan shapped pedal boat.

2003-05-09 09:02:14 AM  
weird. verbosity=humor.
2003-05-09 09:02:24 AM  
or maybe, if you don't understand it, you should try crawling out of your parents basement, turn off the computer games, and find a sense of humor. It is a police blotter, written in a humorous slant.

2003-05-09 09:03:08 AM  
The author of these logs is like an average Farker if you make him old and jaded but give him writing talent. Thats probably what confuses people here, the writing talent part.
2003-05-09 09:06:51 AM  
'One guy was stabbed in the head, but it didn't seriously hurt anything valuable.'

2003-05-09 09:07:48 AM  
I wish the Knoxville News-Sentinel held themselves to such high journalistic standards.
2003-05-09 09:07:54 AM  
Writing talent? It's no National Lampoon or Onion, but it's definitely FARKworthy.
2003-05-09 09:09:31 AM  
Where is this Arcata? Sounds vaguely Louisiana-ish. Clearly, in this sluggish economy, there is still one job for a kid with an english degree: writing the police blotter for a small town paper.
2003-05-09 09:09:50 AM  
3:42 a.m. A metaphor for human existence was spotted in the 1800 block of Q Street, but police couldn't find the enfeebled, near-moribund personage seen crawling in the roadway, attempting unsuccessfully to rise.

2003-05-09 09:11:59 AM  
9:15 AM.Some farker feels the urge to whine about how they don't find the Arcata police log funny. No one cares so don't bother.
2003-05-09 09:12:56 AM  
Damn, I've missed the Arcata Eye police log. Nice to see it here again.
2003-05-09 09:13:41 AM  
ThedamndogYeah that would be my favorite of the bunch
2003-05-09 09:31:02 AM  
this guy needs to put out a "best of" collection. or maybe he has? anyone got a link?
2003-05-09 09:31:38 AM  
??? Gutta cavat lapidem, non vi sed saepe cadendo

Anyone care to offer a translation?
2003-05-09 09:33:51 AM  

Arcata is on the coast of California, about 90 miles south of the Oregon border. The real Northern California, not like the folks from the S.F. Bay area would have you believe.

In fact, I'm soaking in it.
2003-05-09 09:37:27 AM  
05-09-03 09:31:38 AM Olddmel

??? Gutta cavat lapidem, non vi sed saepe cadendo

Anyone care to offer a translation?

The drop hollows out the stone by frequent dropping, not by force; constant persistence gains the end.
2003-05-09 09:38:29 AM least that what google says
2003-05-09 09:41:43 AM  
I have seen this as "Gutta cavat lapidem, non vi, sed sape
cadendo." "A drop of water makes a dent in a stone, not by force, but by
steadily dropping," our "Slow and steady wins the race."
2003-05-09 09:42:42 AM  
part of my job involves listening to police scanners all night long.
Now I'll have something to laugh at next time I hear drunken calls
2003-05-09 09:44:37 AM  
That's a somewhat stylized translation, but yeah.

You'd think with all the fuss on here about lightening up and the jabs at political correctness, some lighthearted humor injected into an otherwise drab medium would be appreciated.
2003-05-09 09:44:49 AM  
Everywhere you turn people be getting high!
Thats it. I'm moving to arcata.
2003-05-09 09:49:06 AM  
Someone asked about a book of these. Check out this for more info. It's at the top of the main page.
2003-05-09 09:53:25 AM  
thanks Bbq-breath
2003-05-09 09:59:44 AM  
It's still pretty funny, but I have to say,. this was a weak one.
2003-05-09 10:30:51 AM  
It's unusual to see this log without the "Fun Bunch". I want the Fun Bunch!
2003-05-09 10:33:16 AM  
Ah, the good old "Arcata Eye" police blotter. It's been a long time since we've had one, and it always brings a smile to my face.
2003-05-09 10:34:27 AM  
I wish the Richmond-Times Dispatch had writers like this.
2003-05-09 10:47:56 AM  
The error messages on the page are because some ass clown included a / at the end of the URL.
2003-05-09 10:48:11 AM  

I didn't know there was anyone else from Knox Vegas on here. BTW, the News Sentinel blows. I got something Betsy Pickel can review....
2003-05-09 10:48:35 AM  
They must be smoking the evidence.
2003-05-09 10:51:53 AM  
Friday, May 9, 9:50 a.m. Scores of newbs pour out of the gutter to complain about the hilarious Arcata Police Log that has been running for years unbeknowenst to them.
2003-05-09 10:52:26 AM  
A look-at-me red SUV was seen driving bastardly around the Plaza. Is there any other way?
lol Pure Shakespearean.
2003-05-09 10:53:46 AM  
FYI, for any of you that managed to read down far enough... rubbed sage does smell like pot when burnt.

And for you that don't get it... feh.
2003-05-09 10:59:08 AM  
Heehee, my plan for Sat, pm: drunkiliciousness
2003-05-09 11:13:22 AM  
NeonDog and ZekeMacNeil:

I too vote that the News Sentinel blows.
2003-05-09 11:31:05 AM  

sounds like the 'Force'
2003-05-09 11:50:26 AM  
This stuff is rich...

1:03 p.m. Brothers were separated to stop them from arguing. One had a prescription for brain medicine.
2003-05-09 12:11:42 PM  
Fun reading... I tried to submit last week, the headline
was "Cupid's packing a BB gun these days"...

for the newbs: go to the cop log index- a fun waste of
an afternoon, and it chronicles the decline of the
"fun bunch"...
2003-05-09 12:14:12 PM  
I get it - it's just NOT FUNNY!
2003-05-09 12:58:45 PM  
Its all fun and games until a dead body is found in a van.
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