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(Yahoo)   Mixed reviews on Iraqi occupation: Plot unoriginal and derivative, special effects great. Summary: Catch it as a matinee or wait for the rental   ( divider line
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3394 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2003 at 8:18 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-05-08 04:31:55 PM  
i agree with bill maher on this one. Srcrew the paintings, the oil is whats important.
2003-05-08 04:40:59 PM  
Other reviews:

Although the review linked contains the word "orgy," it does so in a rather pedestrian context. The Village Voice had this to say about the lack of a female lve interest:

"The only lead female character with even the slightest promise of providing this action tale with sexual tension is Pfc. Jennifer Lynch, but she exits during the first reel and doesn't return until the denoument. This thriller needed another bedroom scene before the closing credits."

The L.A. Times had this to say:

"Kudos to Jerry Bruckheimer's work in focusing attention to much of the stunning visual aspects. Pound for pound, this action thriller lived up to its billing (even if the obligatory Big Speech at the end was rather overplayed by use of the U.S.S. Lincoln as set dressing). I rather enjoyed watching the film's serio-comic foils, played by Janeanne Garofalo and Michael Moore, lighten the mood at the appropriate intervals with their Cassandra-meets-Carrot-Top monologues."

Finally, the New York Times noted the stunning performance by a rising star everyone should keep an eye out for:

"Forget the swaggering cowboyishness of the President, the folksy diectness of the Secretary of Defense, the shrill two-dimensionality of the Evil Dictator. One performer outshined them all and stole every scene he was in: Baghdad Bob. His dramatic but comical press conferences wowed audiences everywhere, limiting sequel talk to the single question, 'What About Bob?'"
2003-05-08 04:44:49 PM  
April 9 will mark one month since U.S. Marines and a crowd of Iraqis triumphantly toppled a massive statue of Saddam in central Baghdad, signaling the end of the war.

um...did they fail to proofread?
2003-05-08 05:08:24 PM  
I hope there's not another sequel, they are always the worst. I think the second though did live up to all a sequel can be, larger budget, derivative and uninspired but still a thrill ride and still worth making. I was glad to see the original cast pretty much all came back too.
2003-05-08 05:16:43 PM  
Sequel Titles:

Gulf War III: Saddam's Revenge
George Bush and the Prisoner of Guantanamo
GWIII: G-Men United
Another Weekend at Qusay's
The Gulf War After Next
Gulf War 33 1/3
Gulf War and Warerer
Lethal Weapon of Mass Destruction

Ahhh, nuthin'
2003-05-08 05:18:14 PM  
Gulf War II: Clone of the Attack
2003-05-08 05:18:36 PM  
Okay, one more:

Bend it Like Bushie ("Jessica Lynch is the sexiest beanpole tomboy on the planet!"--L.A. Times)
2003-05-08 05:48:51 PM  
We've done this Gulf War thing too many times. I think we need to move the sequels into 'The Attack of the Towelheads'. With proper advertisement and marketing they should be able to get as many sequels as Friday the 13th.

Also, Bush needs to take this thing alphabetical. That'd be much easier for his adoring masses to follow.
2003-05-08 06:14:25 PM  
Critics are always looking for every little thing to complain about, and all the psuedo intellectual "armed conflict" buffs lambast every plot contrivance as derivative of some boring foreign war with subtitles that bored the pants off the popular audience. Like calling it "armed conflict" elevates it to the status of art.

I watch a war to enjoy it, and I don't care what the critics think. Sure, it was no World War II, but then, not all administrations strive to produce a war of that quality. That doesn't mean we can't enjoy an occassional fluff war.

2003-05-08 08:21:11 PM  
This really wasn't so much a sequel as it was a bilogy.

BTW, great post there LarsThorwald.
2003-05-08 08:25:48 PM  
what is Uncle Jesse doing on Friends right now?
2003-05-08 08:28:04 PM  
"Typically, the condition of civilians deteriorates at the end of a war"

Winner of the 2003 "no shiat, Sherlock" award...

Try to remember and mourn all them dead women, children, and US GIs while filling up yer SUV on Dubya's stolen gas! And remember you're paying Dick Cheney's Halliburton twice: Your tax dollars got 'em into Iraq, and now you're buying the oil that they swiped.

2003-05-08 08:28:52 PM  
JEB nukes Baghdad.
2003-05-08 08:31:56 PM  
Meepzoid: What stolen oil? What stolen gas? Dude, do a little research. Oh, and those museum pieces? Uhm, they weren't all missing, anly about 38 instead of 6000, and they are all back now.

I guess I'm just so tired of that ignorant "blood for oil" thingy...
2003-05-08 08:32:52 PM  
they really liked putting orgy in the artical.

2003-05-08 08:33:26 PM  
2003-05-08 08:34:14 PM  
If you add Clinton's bombing of Iraq, it's a "trilogy". The advantage of this is that I don't have to make up words.
2003-05-08 08:34:20 PM  


Is that smoke in the air??
2003-05-08 08:38:19 PM  
"I think war is a dangerous place." George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003

Please, God, don't let this monkey get re-elected.
2003-05-08 08:40:52 PM  
The better question is, why are you watching that overrated, played out steaming pile of monkey crap show?
2003-05-08 08:52:17 PM  
Oh, and this "Bush is dumb" lie is getting a little old too...

Try a new mantra.
2003-05-08 08:55:33 PM  
This link that isn't even barely news gets posted.

The Ford link about a new emblem (with no picture, because it won't be revealed till June) gets posted.

Links about dog beauty pagents and socks on eBay get posted.

An article about Jerry Falwell from January, 1999 gets posted.

But I submit things that are actually interesting, and they get shiat-canned. I don't get it. Interesting things have actually happened in the past 24 hours:

A federal judge fined a spammer $16.4 million.

PETA said chickens were as smart as dogs.

Another porn producer got raided by the feds, who siezed
copies of Cocktails 2, Assclowns 3, and 1001 Ways to Eat My Jizz...
2003-05-08 08:59:22 PM  
I'd think it was a lie, too, except it's proven correct every time the man opens his mouth.

In my optinion, this "Iraq has weapons of mass destruction" lie is getting even older.
2003-05-08 09:00:25 PM  
optinion = opinion

/also dumb
2003-05-08 09:03:12 PM  
this should be an opinion-loaded thread!

<-- sits back and watches all war-related threads
2003-05-08 09:05:21 PM  
I hate war.
2003-05-08 09:06:42 PM  
But I submit things that are actually interesting, and they get shiat-canned. I don't get it. Interesting things have actually happened in the past 24 hours:

PETA said chickens were as smart as dogs.

This is interesting?
2003-05-08 09:10:16 PM  
Ya Bill Clintons Bombing should count in the trilogy but you know different director so it was a flop . keep the movie idea in the family.
2003-05-08 09:12:05 PM  
Does anyone know when the Pay-per-view, execution of the Dixie Chicks is being aired!
2003-05-08 09:15:42 PM  
Rockdrummer I thought it was silly too. Until the other day they announced Halliburton "won" the nobid contract not only to put out fires but also for "operation of facilities and distribution of products".
2003-05-08 09:16:03 PM  
I have to admit, it was a damn good war. I just wanna see more of a love interest next time.

And Bagdad Bob has definitely got to be in the third one...
2003-05-08 09:18:11 PM  
05-08-03 08:55:33 PM BadBatsuMaru2
It's all a vast conspiracy directed against you. Oh wait...what was the slogan of this site again?
2003-05-08 09:20:18 PM  

Our policy on rebuilding is basically that the Iraqi's can have any government they want, as long as it's a democracy, but if the majority want a nation based on Islamic law, wouldn't that be the more democratic thing to do?
2003-05-08 09:23:40 PM  
Try a new mantra


Then there's always "Pie Jesu dominae! *THWACK!*" Repeat as necessary.
2003-05-08 09:24:06 PM  
I'll wait for the DVD.
2003-05-08 09:25:46 PM  
All the credit here belongs to producer Karl Rove. Back when nobody had faith in this project, when so many people passed on it, when it seemed like the whole world was against it, he did whatever it took to push it through. Billions of dollars and every penny of it showed up on the screen!

Of course, it wouldn't have been the same without a world-class cinematographer like Roger Ailes. A lesser artist would have gone directly for the maudlin angle on this, but Roger knew how to keep the action moving along fast enough that you never noticed the plot holes.

One minor critique: the big finale, with the big muppet or whatever in the flight suit? I didn't buy it. The Yoda/Count Dooku scene was much more believable, IMO.
2003-05-08 09:27:17 PM  
Maybe this shows my naiveness, but I am actually surprised that people are starting to say that we've now stolen Iraqi oil. I mean, don't they think that such an act would be all over the headlines? Do they think that some American/Zion/Martian conspiracy is siphoning off millions of barrels of oil under the cover of night?
2003-05-08 09:28:35 PM  
I have to admit, it was a damn good war.

When I was 17, there was a very good war,
I slammed my thumb in the door,
and caught my chin in the drawer,
Baghdad Bob is my queen,
When I was 17.
2003-05-08 09:30:19 PM  
Well, I think this war lacked a resolution. Saddam Hussein and his Weapons of Mass destruction were constantly being built up, as though to a climax, but it was never resolved. A few secondary villains were taken care of, but the ending really lacked a certain punch.

Of course, it had its moments, such as the statue scene, and the comic relief provided by the Iraqi minister, but they were few, and far between. I think the plot suffered from an overpowered protagonist. The hostage sub-plot did add some strife, but the main storyline lacked any real conflict. The villains came off as desperate and incapable, rather then destructive and dangerous. As much as the director tried to make them seem evil by spotlighting their nefarious tactics, I really wasnt swayed. I was also disappointed that many scenes of US forces shooting first were removed from the final cut (though they are still available, but you have to look away from mainstream sources). The editor clearly did not realize that minor flaws can actually work to make more complete characters.

Overall, the sequel was lacking. I wasnt a huge fan of the original, so I may be biased, but it seemed to me that it failed to develop the main villains, relying instead on the development done in the first.

Also, I dont like the fact that it was left the way it was. Clearly, it is left open for a sequel, but I do not believe it is right to force an audience to watch the next one simply to get a resolution for the storyline.

Its no World War II, but, it is not fair to compare it to compare them. WWII is, after all, a classic, and possibly the best sequel ever made. The main villain was so perfect, he has become a clich, a huge improvement over the WWI villain, whose main problem was a loss of an arm. The tension between the good guys was amazing, and even evolved into one of the few successful spin-off series ever known: The Cold War, which may actually be better known then the original. In fact, I dont even think the special effects were up to par. WWII may have been more primitive, but its conclusion will forever be remembered as the bigger BANG ever, one that no war since has dared to attempt.

Honestly, if you want a popcorn flick, Id recommend it, but if you are looking for a good show, wait a bit for the release of World War III.
2003-05-08 09:33:20 PM  

Well, KFC has done a lot of stuff recently to kiss PETA's ass, and they recently said they still hate KFC because they think chickens are as smart as dogs.

I was really half-joking about the things I submitted being interesting. I thought they were pretty funny (especially my title about "Seeing Eye Chickens"). It just seems like there's a lot of stuff getting posted lately that isn't even newsworthy, let alone mildly amusing.

I see there's actually legitimate discussion on this article going on here, so I'll shut up :)
2003-05-08 09:38:34 PM  
Rumbleminz said:


Our policy on rebuilding is basically that the Iraqi's can have any government they want, as long as it's a democracy, but if the majority want a nation based on Islamic law, wouldn't that be the more democratic thing to do?

That's the fun thing about democracies. They can be a democracy, and yet still practice "Islamic law." They can still have dress codes for women, mandate prayer in public schools, tax non-Muslims, cutting off hands, etc..

Unless Islamic law demands that the leaders be totally unaccountable to the people, democracy and 'Islamic law' are not incompatible.
2003-05-08 09:40:41 PM  
Rayonic and it can also be a democracy in which only Shi'ites are allowed to vote. Although what I'm predicting is basically the Shi'ite clerics get together and "vote" for the leaders and nobody else gets a say.
2003-05-08 09:44:01 PM  
I declare shenanigans.

But seriously, I don't think we have to be reminded that this situation quickly escalated out of control, and will likely settle into further disorganization, to the point where no force on Earth could bring it back around short of absolute destruction. Not that I, uh, favor that sort of thing...
2003-05-08 09:48:37 PM  
Well, it wouldn't be a democracy anymore if only a small minority could vote. You can exclude certain peoples (blacks, Kurds, etc.), but you must have at least 50% of the male population eligible to vote. (give or take)
2003-05-08 09:50:57 PM  
Rayonic actually, it could be a democracy. Ancient Greek democracy only had a very small percentage of citizens allowed to vote, I believe only 10% of the population in Athens...basically rich white males. When this country began our voting was limited to land-owning white men. So there's a precident to limiting voting to a select few and calling it a democracy.
2003-05-08 09:52:54 PM  
Although in Athens it wasn't really a matter of black and was simply a matter of being free vs. being a slave/servant, which wasn't really done on a racial basis.
2003-05-08 09:53:17 PM  
Hmm, guess you're right. Forgot about that land-owning clause.

But still there is a difference between 10% of the populace and a handful of "holy" men.
2003-05-08 09:55:52 PM  
I would call the clerics voting a theocracy and not a democracy certainly, I'm just afraid that's the course the government is going to take. The Shi'ites are already declaring themselves leaders in towns all over Iraq, and we don't have enough troops to keep them down indefinately throughout the country.

I was just saying that, even if a voting system was set up where only Shi'ite's could vote it could be called a democracy in theory. Just one without minority involvement.
2003-05-08 10:01:03 PM  

Interesting interpretation, however, the "Islamic State" I envision being constructed would most likely deteriorate into a hotbed of anti-US rhetoric.

After all, the USA isn't very compatible with draconian holy laws--thus begins downward spiral.

I guess my whole point is that the US is essentially practicing subdued imperialism by demanding a strict democracy; sure, it's a system that is ultimately better than the alternatives, but should we have the power to make that decision?
2003-05-08 10:02:45 PM  
Well, I think this war lacked a resolution. Saddam Hussein and his Weapons of Mass destruction were constantly being built up, as though to a climax, but it was never resolved.

They are just leaving it open for a sequel. There may be some life left in this franchise.
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